The Silent Urge Series
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
49
Views:
25,246
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
49
Views:
25,246
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
41 - D: Missing
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41 Missing
~ Spike ~
I gently put Xander’s body down before I stand up slowly. Quite a mess I made, but it’s exquisite like a piece of art, Xander’s delicate skin marked by bite and blood and seed. I feel my cock already twitching again for this wonderful boy who gives himself to me without question, body, heart and even soul. The last few days, especially the last few hours were a lot to take in and a marking is at least enough to knock-out any human. I can’t stop smiling down at him, the picture he makes – beautiful.
Just when I’m about to gather him up to bring him into our room, lay him down in our bed, there’s a knock on the door. Annoyed, I cock my head and bellow “Go ‘way!”
“Spike! Open the door!” Weird; Sire sounds as if he’s trying to be as silent as possible.
The back of my neck starts to prickle and the feeling of dread grows in my stomach. I rush to the door, open it. Angel is there and he looks... scared?!
“Get the boy, we’ve got to- shit. They’re already here.”
“What?”
“Listen- shit, shit, shit.”
Angel grabs me, one hand over my mouth and tugs me back through the hidden trapdoor. I didn’t even know he knew it was there! I panic because leaving Xander alone is not a choice I’d freely make. Then I hear the voice of the slayer and Willow’s murmur of Latin words. They’re nearly up the stairs already, only seconds away from seeing and getting to Xander! I struggle and try to free myself from Angel’s grip. It’s like iron. He holds onto me stoically, even when I bite the hand he gags me with. There are not a lot of thoughts going on, just: Xanderxanderxander! Need to get him. Need to save him. Need to get him!!!!
I hate Angel for holding me back from protecting what’s mine. I hear them, hear them talk to Xander, pity him and I growl so loudly that my Sire drags me away from them even (more) further, up on the roof through the small escape exit.
I can see them now, half carrying, half dragging Xander, my pet, with them, away from me, away from the Twilight.
He seems to be out again. His body is barely covered by Giles jacket and he must be cold...
I howl into the upcoming dawn, sick sound through the fingers of my Sire while tears of frustration and desperation slide down my cheeks. The sun is climbing rapidly while I watch them taking away Xander, impotent to do anything,.
The prickling warning of the sun rising develops into a shrill alarm through my whole body. I don’t care. I’ll go after them even if it’s as a burning fireball. I let myself slump down to the floor, using my whole weight suddenly, I surprise my Sire and he goes down with me, but still holding onto me. I struggle, kick and bite like a trapped animal, but he won’t let me go.
“Would you hold still, boy!” Angel growls in my ear and I hate him from the depth of my heart.
He has betrayed me.
Betrayed me and my boy. How else could Buffy have known from where to look for him? We’re off the radar. The Twilight is spell bound from pure humans and the slayer. I stare at my Sire, with shock and hatred in my eyes. I don’t understand why he did this, why he ratted me and my pet out to the people who’ve only hurt Xander before.
“Let me go!” I try to knee him in his guts and it fills me with satisfaction to see his face contort in pain for a second before he slides his vampiric disguise on to hide it. I spit at him, hit him in this face he shows me, but hasn’t any right to wear anymore. He refused me, refused his own identity and refused our lore. He has no right to just take the benefits. He has no right to use the speed and power and vampiric senses, but discard the duties he has as a Sire as the Head of the Clan, as the First of the Bloodline.
~ Xander ~
I wake up the moment they drag me over the threshold of Giles’ apartment, but I keep my eyes closed and my body limp. I wonder if I could run off?
“Sit down with him, Buffy.” Giles says. “He’ll try to get back to Spike the first chance he gets. Watch him closely.”
Well, fuck.
I open my eyes because hiding is not gonna get me out of this. Taking in my surroundings, I find Buffy watching me, but not looking at me directly. Riley sits in an armchair opposite, back straight, lurking. I can hear Giles pull drawers out and shut them in the bedroom, one floor up and Willow is quietly sobbing in the kitchen while she rummages through the cabinets.
I wonder what they’re going to do to me, with me, for me next. Offer to kill me?
“I’d- look, can I take a shower please?” I ask and cringe inside from the tone of my own voice – begging.
Willow stares at me, I can feel her eyes boring into me. “Of course, you can shower. You’re not a prisoner!”
“I’m not?” I bite out. Shit. Think before blubbering out whatever!
“No, you’re not! Why would you think that?” I still remember the time I found her naivety cute, it’s definitely over now. “We saved you.” Oh, really?!
I stand up from the couch and tear the blanket off it with me, making Buffy jump and spring to her feet, helping me pull the blanket around me. I’m not parading around naked in front of you like a... whatever gone bad.
Slowly, I walk over to the bathroom. Darkness is creeping around the edges of my vision again. Need to eat something soon. Need to be strong to get away. I struggle with the blanket, but I manage to reach the bathroom. I’m so looking forward to just a few minutes to myself. Out from under their pitiful scrutiny. A few minutes to get myself together and come up with something like a plan, like a strategy to convince them to let me go.
“Leave the door open, Xander.” Riley commands and hatred wells up inside of me.
“Thought, I wasn’t a prisoner?”
“We just don’t want you to, like, hurt yourself. Just leave the door open a slit. We can hear you... calling for help or something if you need us.” Willow takes over again and I wonder if they’re actually aware of the pressure they’re putting out, they’re putting onto me.
“Willow is right.” Giles says, coming down the stairs. “A vampire’s victim might feel unsteady or even weak from the blood loss depending on the extent of the loss, of course. A claiming bite, however, has quite the opposite effect, making the victim - well, it’s reciprocal, so it’s not a victim, the chosen human is called ‘Mate’ – so, the Claiming strengthens the Mate, makes them an equal companion... but literature is dissonant on that. There hasn’t been proof yet, that a Claiming has those, let’s call them, positive effects...”
“Look – thanks for the lecture, G-Man. Thought you said I wasn’t claimed, so-” I try to hide the bitterness that threatens to break me apart from the inside. “Shower, right?”
“Of course, Xander. Here are some clothes for you to put on.” He gives me what feels like a well worn jogging suit in a dark grey colouring. “There will be enough time later to discuss your... experience. I’m rather interested what you were exposed to.”
While Riley just wants to kill me, Giles wants to start the autopsy pre-mortem. Yay!
With friends like these, who needs enemies?!
~ Spike ~
I dunno how long we fight and roll around on the roof, boxing, kicking and biting at each other until Angel manages to throw both of us through the trap door. Back inside the building, away from the sun’s deadly rays, but I continue fighting him. I will not back down this time, even if exhaustion is already making my limbs shake.
Through the red haze of fury and fear it takes time for Angel’s words to get through to me. His voice is gentle, soothing and he’s repeating the same phrases over and over:
“I’ll get him back. I promise, Childe. I’ll get him back to you and help you get away. I promise, Spike, as your Sire I promise it.”
“I don’t believe you.” I can’t believe you. You destroyed me with your refusal to stand on my side.
“Look, Spike. I’m sorry. I made a mistake.” I look at him strangely. “Another one. I didn’t do right by you, but I want to help you now.” A little too late for that, don’t you think?
“Why should I believe anything at all you say, Angel?” I’d rather punch you in the nose.
“They’ve got Xander and pretty soon he’s going to go crazy with hunger. They won’t get it. The watcher’s going to try all kind of things and I’m not so sure that soldier boy they’ve got there has all his brain cells in working order-“
“You’re just jealous, cos he gets to fuck her.”
Angel growls at me. Okay, so maybe I deserve that.
“All I see is that there’s no chance in hell Xander’s going to get out of this mess on his own and you’re not the one who can get him out of there, either-“
“But you are?”
“Yes.”
What the bloody fuck. Great choices I’ve had today. Sire here and Xander here. Sire gone but Xander here. Sire here but Xander gone. And now I’ve got to trust Angel, after all the shit about being human and life/death/lore decisions, that he’ll get my pet back to me. No way.
“Spike-”
“Oh, come on. There has to be another way.” Think, think, think.
“Spike, childe. We, ... you’ve got no choice. You can’t go there, they’ll kill you first and ask questions later. Xander’s going to suffer all life long from your marking.”
I risk looking up into Angel’s eyes, doubtful about his intentions, but he doesn’t look away, doesn’t waver under my silent inspection, just continues speaking: “You’ve marked him alright, boy. He’s yours, for everyone to see.”
I grin before my face falls again. I already miss Xander. I sigh; I give up. Not the first time I have to trust my sire without any guaranties.
“He needs to get out of there before they... stake him or something. He’s pretty far gone, can’t say how much more greatly increased the hunger’s going to be with my marking on him now. Get him back for me, Sire? Please?” I say and beg with my eyes. He is the only way I can get Xander back without endangering one or both of us even more.
“I’ll get him back. 24 hours tops. Whatever it takes.” Angel says and he’s sincere as far as I have ever been able to tell.
“Whatever it takes, alright. You get him back here, if he wants to come back here, become my Mate and everything. I’ll wait for him. Don’t want the boy to do anything he doesn’t want to.”
“I will, childe. I’ll bring him back.” Angel presses roughly against me, finds my mouth with his own. His tongue bleeds heavily from where he’s bitten it to make the promise in blood like vampire lore demands. How can he switch so fast between our lore and human rules? I just let myself taste the truth in his kiss and try not to be eager for more. However, before more than a blood promise grows between us, Angel gets back on his feet and disappears down the stairs in the direction of the sewer entrance in the basement.
Shaking, I stand up and make my own way downstairs. Got people to look after, Trekle and my employees and a club to care for. Gotta see the damage that’s been done and hope nobody important died. Gotta keep busy, that’s all.
24 hours is a bloody long time if you’re waiting for the return of a loved one.
tbc...
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41 Missing
~ Spike ~
I gently put Xander’s body down before I stand up slowly. Quite a mess I made, but it’s exquisite like a piece of art, Xander’s delicate skin marked by bite and blood and seed. I feel my cock already twitching again for this wonderful boy who gives himself to me without question, body, heart and even soul. The last few days, especially the last few hours were a lot to take in and a marking is at least enough to knock-out any human. I can’t stop smiling down at him, the picture he makes – beautiful.
Just when I’m about to gather him up to bring him into our room, lay him down in our bed, there’s a knock on the door. Annoyed, I cock my head and bellow “Go ‘way!”
“Spike! Open the door!” Weird; Sire sounds as if he’s trying to be as silent as possible.
The back of my neck starts to prickle and the feeling of dread grows in my stomach. I rush to the door, open it. Angel is there and he looks... scared?!
“Get the boy, we’ve got to- shit. They’re already here.”
“What?”
“Listen- shit, shit, shit.”
Angel grabs me, one hand over my mouth and tugs me back through the hidden trapdoor. I didn’t even know he knew it was there! I panic because leaving Xander alone is not a choice I’d freely make. Then I hear the voice of the slayer and Willow’s murmur of Latin words. They’re nearly up the stairs already, only seconds away from seeing and getting to Xander! I struggle and try to free myself from Angel’s grip. It’s like iron. He holds onto me stoically, even when I bite the hand he gags me with. There are not a lot of thoughts going on, just: Xanderxanderxander! Need to get him. Need to save him. Need to get him!!!!
I hate Angel for holding me back from protecting what’s mine. I hear them, hear them talk to Xander, pity him and I growl so loudly that my Sire drags me away from them even (more) further, up on the roof through the small escape exit.
I can see them now, half carrying, half dragging Xander, my pet, with them, away from me, away from the Twilight.
He seems to be out again. His body is barely covered by Giles jacket and he must be cold...
I howl into the upcoming dawn, sick sound through the fingers of my Sire while tears of frustration and desperation slide down my cheeks. The sun is climbing rapidly while I watch them taking away Xander, impotent to do anything,.
The prickling warning of the sun rising develops into a shrill alarm through my whole body. I don’t care. I’ll go after them even if it’s as a burning fireball. I let myself slump down to the floor, using my whole weight suddenly, I surprise my Sire and he goes down with me, but still holding onto me. I struggle, kick and bite like a trapped animal, but he won’t let me go.
“Would you hold still, boy!” Angel growls in my ear and I hate him from the depth of my heart.
He has betrayed me.
Betrayed me and my boy. How else could Buffy have known from where to look for him? We’re off the radar. The Twilight is spell bound from pure humans and the slayer. I stare at my Sire, with shock and hatred in my eyes. I don’t understand why he did this, why he ratted me and my pet out to the people who’ve only hurt Xander before.
“Let me go!” I try to knee him in his guts and it fills me with satisfaction to see his face contort in pain for a second before he slides his vampiric disguise on to hide it. I spit at him, hit him in this face he shows me, but hasn’t any right to wear anymore. He refused me, refused his own identity and refused our lore. He has no right to just take the benefits. He has no right to use the speed and power and vampiric senses, but discard the duties he has as a Sire as the Head of the Clan, as the First of the Bloodline.
~ Xander ~
I wake up the moment they drag me over the threshold of Giles’ apartment, but I keep my eyes closed and my body limp. I wonder if I could run off?
“Sit down with him, Buffy.” Giles says. “He’ll try to get back to Spike the first chance he gets. Watch him closely.”
Well, fuck.
I open my eyes because hiding is not gonna get me out of this. Taking in my surroundings, I find Buffy watching me, but not looking at me directly. Riley sits in an armchair opposite, back straight, lurking. I can hear Giles pull drawers out and shut them in the bedroom, one floor up and Willow is quietly sobbing in the kitchen while she rummages through the cabinets.
I wonder what they’re going to do to me, with me, for me next. Offer to kill me?
“I’d- look, can I take a shower please?” I ask and cringe inside from the tone of my own voice – begging.
Willow stares at me, I can feel her eyes boring into me. “Of course, you can shower. You’re not a prisoner!”
“I’m not?” I bite out. Shit. Think before blubbering out whatever!
“No, you’re not! Why would you think that?” I still remember the time I found her naivety cute, it’s definitely over now. “We saved you.” Oh, really?!
I stand up from the couch and tear the blanket off it with me, making Buffy jump and spring to her feet, helping me pull the blanket around me. I’m not parading around naked in front of you like a... whatever gone bad.
Slowly, I walk over to the bathroom. Darkness is creeping around the edges of my vision again. Need to eat something soon. Need to be strong to get away. I struggle with the blanket, but I manage to reach the bathroom. I’m so looking forward to just a few minutes to myself. Out from under their pitiful scrutiny. A few minutes to get myself together and come up with something like a plan, like a strategy to convince them to let me go.
“Leave the door open, Xander.” Riley commands and hatred wells up inside of me.
“Thought, I wasn’t a prisoner?”
“We just don’t want you to, like, hurt yourself. Just leave the door open a slit. We can hear you... calling for help or something if you need us.” Willow takes over again and I wonder if they’re actually aware of the pressure they’re putting out, they’re putting onto me.
“Willow is right.” Giles says, coming down the stairs. “A vampire’s victim might feel unsteady or even weak from the blood loss depending on the extent of the loss, of course. A claiming bite, however, has quite the opposite effect, making the victim - well, it’s reciprocal, so it’s not a victim, the chosen human is called ‘Mate’ – so, the Claiming strengthens the Mate, makes them an equal companion... but literature is dissonant on that. There hasn’t been proof yet, that a Claiming has those, let’s call them, positive effects...”
“Look – thanks for the lecture, G-Man. Thought you said I wasn’t claimed, so-” I try to hide the bitterness that threatens to break me apart from the inside. “Shower, right?”
“Of course, Xander. Here are some clothes for you to put on.” He gives me what feels like a well worn jogging suit in a dark grey colouring. “There will be enough time later to discuss your... experience. I’m rather interested what you were exposed to.”
While Riley just wants to kill me, Giles wants to start the autopsy pre-mortem. Yay!
With friends like these, who needs enemies?!
~ Spike ~
I dunno how long we fight and roll around on the roof, boxing, kicking and biting at each other until Angel manages to throw both of us through the trap door. Back inside the building, away from the sun’s deadly rays, but I continue fighting him. I will not back down this time, even if exhaustion is already making my limbs shake.
Through the red haze of fury and fear it takes time for Angel’s words to get through to me. His voice is gentle, soothing and he’s repeating the same phrases over and over:
“I’ll get him back. I promise, Childe. I’ll get him back to you and help you get away. I promise, Spike, as your Sire I promise it.”
“I don’t believe you.” I can’t believe you. You destroyed me with your refusal to stand on my side.
“Look, Spike. I’m sorry. I made a mistake.” I look at him strangely. “Another one. I didn’t do right by you, but I want to help you now.” A little too late for that, don’t you think?
“Why should I believe anything at all you say, Angel?” I’d rather punch you in the nose.
“They’ve got Xander and pretty soon he’s going to go crazy with hunger. They won’t get it. The watcher’s going to try all kind of things and I’m not so sure that soldier boy they’ve got there has all his brain cells in working order-“
“You’re just jealous, cos he gets to fuck her.”
Angel growls at me. Okay, so maybe I deserve that.
“All I see is that there’s no chance in hell Xander’s going to get out of this mess on his own and you’re not the one who can get him out of there, either-“
“But you are?”
“Yes.”
What the bloody fuck. Great choices I’ve had today. Sire here and Xander here. Sire gone but Xander here. Sire here but Xander gone. And now I’ve got to trust Angel, after all the shit about being human and life/death/lore decisions, that he’ll get my pet back to me. No way.
“Spike-”
“Oh, come on. There has to be another way.” Think, think, think.
“Spike, childe. We, ... you’ve got no choice. You can’t go there, they’ll kill you first and ask questions later. Xander’s going to suffer all life long from your marking.”
I risk looking up into Angel’s eyes, doubtful about his intentions, but he doesn’t look away, doesn’t waver under my silent inspection, just continues speaking: “You’ve marked him alright, boy. He’s yours, for everyone to see.”
I grin before my face falls again. I already miss Xander. I sigh; I give up. Not the first time I have to trust my sire without any guaranties.
“He needs to get out of there before they... stake him or something. He’s pretty far gone, can’t say how much more greatly increased the hunger’s going to be with my marking on him now. Get him back for me, Sire? Please?” I say and beg with my eyes. He is the only way I can get Xander back without endangering one or both of us even more.
“I’ll get him back. 24 hours tops. Whatever it takes.” Angel says and he’s sincere as far as I have ever been able to tell.
“Whatever it takes, alright. You get him back here, if he wants to come back here, become my Mate and everything. I’ll wait for him. Don’t want the boy to do anything he doesn’t want to.”
“I will, childe. I’ll bring him back.” Angel presses roughly against me, finds my mouth with his own. His tongue bleeds heavily from where he’s bitten it to make the promise in blood like vampire lore demands. How can he switch so fast between our lore and human rules? I just let myself taste the truth in his kiss and try not to be eager for more. However, before more than a blood promise grows between us, Angel gets back on his feet and disappears down the stairs in the direction of the sewer entrance in the basement.
Shaking, I stand up and make my own way downstairs. Got people to look after, Trekle and my employees and a club to care for. Gotta see the damage that’s been done and hope nobody important died. Gotta keep busy, that’s all.
24 hours is a bloody long time if you’re waiting for the return of a loved one.
tbc...
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