Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me

Xander stood and watched as Cordelia talked to Harmony's parents. He felt like a fifth wheel, coming to this. He hadn't really liked Harmony all that much but she had been a good friend to Cordy and he was her friend. So he'd put on some dress slacks and a suit jacket that he'd borrowed from Giles and was doing his best to be supportive.

He was glad he'd come, in a way. There weren't that many people there. Aura, Kate, a few of the other Cordettes and some football players. Mostly, though, he didn't see that many other people would miss her.

He was surprised at who he did see, though. Now that the short graveside service was over he made his way around small clusters of people, keeping an eye out for Cordy all the while. “Hey, Ethan. I didn't know you knew Harmony.”

“Sadly, I did not know the young lady in question. However, I do feel a certain kinship with Miss Chase and felt the need to support her. She seems quite emotional about her friend's death.”

Xander shoved his hands in his pockets. “She is. They've been friends for years. And Cordy kind of considered Harmony as hers, in a way. She’s allowed to totally rip the life out of her friends and inner circle but no one else had better.”

Ethan laughed quietly and Xander had to grin. He realized he really hadn't had that much of a chance to talk to Ethan one on one. “Hey, you okay, Ethan? I mean, other than the mortal terror we're facing in case Angelus ever decides to track us down and remove our soft tissues?”

Ethan raised one eyebrow and Xander had to stifle a sudden shot of jealousy. He'd always wanted to be able to do that. Maybe it was a British thing. “Other than that, you say? Well, I must confess I find your little town rather...boring. When I'm not afraid for my life, that is. I find myself lacking anything useful to do while Ripper is off at your wondrous place of learning.”

“You could always open an antique store. Sell people things they secretly want. Need. Needful Things.” Xander grinned and Ethan let out a bark of laughter before stifling it, while the mourners glared.

“I'm not sure if I should be appalled at your choice of reading material or flattered that you just compared me to Lucifer himself. Nice dig, my boy.”

Xander nodded. “Thank you, thank you. I've always wondered if there's a Hellmouth in Maine. No one who hasn't been scarred by the supernatural could come up with all that kind of stuff.” He looked over at Cordelia, wanting to make sure she was okay, and she was. Well, mostly. He was worried. Then again, he had reason to be.

Xander turned back to Ethan and thought about it for a moment. “Huh. Guess there isn't much for the magically inclined to do other than take over the Hellmouth, which would land you on the couch. Isn't there some sort of, I don't know, minor chaos you could do that Giles would approve of?”

Ethan sighed and gave him a disappointed look. “My dear Xander, you're missing the point. If Ripper approves of my spells then I've done something terribly wrong. The object is to be just evil enough to be punished properly.”

By the end of his speech Ethan had a sly grin and Xander felt himself flushing. And the girls thought Spike was a bad influence. “So...how about a sudden change in the conversation? Please? Before my brain explodes?”

Ethan laughed again, and went to clap him on the back and Xander couldn't help the flinch. The only two people he was really comfortable with touching were Spike, for obvious reasons, and Cordelia. Xander figured Cordy pretty much always said what she thought and shared over half those thoughts anyhow so, despite the acid content in her brain, it wasn't a very scary place for him.

After a while he might be just as easy around Ethan but he wasn't sure. There was still a swirl of chaos around him that made Xander nervous when he looked at him too long. Sort of like looking directly at an eclipse, you'd burn a layer of your eyeballs off.

“Still feeling a bit...unsettled with your new gifts, eh?”

“Yeah. Sorry about that. Touching just opens me up to too much stuff. Spike's been trying to talk me into getting gloves. I might use them when I'm around, well, you guys. Wearing them at school would make me look too much like a freaky Michael Jackon sort of thing, only with two gloves instead of one.”

Ethan gave him an odd look. “Are the books not helping? I know something about basic shielding and cleaning one's aura that I could tutor you on, if you'd like.”

Xander nodded. “That would be really great, thanks. Books are good but I've always liked show and tell better. To tell the truth, I've kinda got bored with the books for a bit. I can only cram so much information in my head at one time before I get confused.” He laughed. “I did rent that Stephen King movies with Christopher Walken, though, Dead Zone. No, I'm okay with the shielding. Meditation sucks for me, but Spike suggested I try to do it while moving, like swimming or something. I just can't sit still and get my brain to shut the hell up. My biggest problem is, well…” he glanced over his shoulder to make sure Cordy wasn't nearby and lowered his voice. “When I picked Cordy up I got a hit of something. I can't even remember what I touched but it's something kind of big. But I don't know if I should tell her or not.”

Ethan gave him a sympathetic look. “Is it something that will hurt her?”

“Yeah. I don't want to go into it but it's pretty big. It will affect her entire future, but from what little I saw maybe that's a good thing.” Images of an evil, pregnant Cordy were just...urgh. Way too icky for words.

And the image of a still Cordelia lying in a church was even worse.

Ethan sighed. “Contrary to what most adults would have you believe, we do not have all the answers. I wouldn't worry about what might happen ten years along the line, Xander, that can be changed simply by Cordelia crossing the street for a shoe sale. But if it's something that can be immediately changed for the better, I would say something. Well, if I were you. If it had the potential to be only mildly dangerous but amusing, I'd simply watch. Which reminds me, I owe you thanks for the amusing display you and your paramour have been putting on.”

Ethan smirked and Xander blushed and stammered. “You're—welcome. I, uh, guess.” He wasn't sure if the other man meant when everyone found out about them...or when they'd been making out the other night while Cordelia was playing with her new weapons. Cordy trying out a set of nunchaku was a very scary sight and he'd needed all the loving reassurance he could get.

Who was he kidding? Any excuse to mack on Spike was a good excuse.

“Xander?” Cordelia came up and touched him on the arm, making Xander glad that he had finished talking about her. She wore a short black dress and low heels and looked, well, kind of classy. “Oh, hi, Ethan.”

“Miss Chase. Just here to give you a bit of support.”

“Thank you. It's just...weird. I mean, I know Harmony wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box but you'd think there would be more people here. Her extended family, at least. As it is, just her Mom and Dad are here.”

Xander looked at where the mourners were making their way back to the car. It was true, there weren't that many people in attendance. And to tell the truth, if it hadn't been for Cordy, Xander might not have gone either. It was a sad end to such a short life.

“I think this town has become rather callous when it comes to funerals, Miss Chase. I supposed it must get tiring to have to dust off their Sunday Finest every week.”

“That's right, Cordy. And, well, the Cordettes were here. That's your core group.” But Aura and the others had left quickly, not even stopping to talk to Harmony's parents. Xander felt a pang of sadness, both for Harmony's short life and for Cordy, who really wasn't that much different from her. Well, that would change. Cordy had been a good friend to him and Spike so he would make sure she would be okay.

He looked at her and saw where her mascara had started to run and she had blotted her tears so as not to mess up her face. She looked older than she should without that anger that had been fueling her for the past few days. Xander put an arm around her waist and gave Ethan a look. “Come on, Cordy, Ethan and I will take you for some ice cream or something before I take you home. You need more calories if you're going to be training with Buffy or Spike; you're way too thin.”

Cordy laughed but it was brittle sounding. “God, you are such a bad liar.”

Ethan started walking on her other side. “He is, isn't he? We'll have to give lessons.”

Xander smiled to himself. Cordy would be okay, he just knew it. But he decided to wait until after she'd had a lot of chocolate to tell her about his vision.

Being told he'd seen her working in retail would piss Cordy off to no end.

*****

Spike walked through the cemetery, trying to scent if any of the fledges buried under the ground were ready to rise. Angelus had been quiet, with the exception of killing Xander’s and the cheerleader's little friend. Well, quiet in Sunnydale, at least. He'd heard a few rumors about LA but had been unwilling to leave Xander to track them down. He'd said as much to the Watcher and the man had agreed, which had been more than a bit unnerving.

He and the Slayer were on patrol tonight and Spike was on edge. He just knew the little chit was trying to work up the nerve to say something. There were sighs and a few times he'd seen her open her mouth to say something, only to close it again. Made her look like a soddin' goldfish.

“Whatever it is you're gonna say you might as well say it, Slayer. I may not be getting any older but you are.”

Buffy sighed and for a moment Spike felt a bit of sympathy for her. She was young, and since she was the Slayer it was doubtful she'd get any older. He had a feeling this Slayer had already gone over her shelf life. Six months to a year was usual.

Then there was the total mind fuck that Angelus had given her. Still, he didn't feel like putting up with any questions about his relationship with Xander.

“Okay, Bleach Boy, it's like this...Xander is, well, planning something. And I don't want to give away the surprise. But in the time honored tradition of best friends everywhere, I feel it is my duty to threaten your life. The fact that you are an evil vampire and I make it my business to kill your kind only makes it a little more violent than most warnings.”

Spike growled and shifted to his true face, but it was mainly to hide his laughter. This slip of a girl was so damn amusing sometimes. It would truly be a sad day when she finally died.

Not that he wouldn't rip out her throat if she came between him and Xander or gave his Xander any problems. Well, after Angelus was dead, of course.

“Little girl, if I had wanted to hurt Xander I would have done it a long time ago. Whose arms do you think he ran to when you and Red gave him such a hard time about being bent? And where the fuck do you think he’s been living since his bloody parents gave him the boot? In a bloody cardboard box?”

The Slayer's eyes went wide for a moment and then narrowed at him. Spike didn't let her intimidate him; she was just a bit of fluff and he already had two notches on his belt. If it wasn't for Xander he would have gone three months ago. “Didn't know that, did you? Neither did Red, so you can't just blame the fact that you both didn't notice that your friend was living with the evil vamp because you had your head up Angelus's arse.”

Spike was not going to point out that the Watcher knew that Xander was living with him. Well, William, actually. He also wasn't going to say a damned thing about the git who donated sperm to the dumb bint that bore Xander. The less the Slayer thought about Xander's parents the better, in his book.

“Yeah, well, I have to live with that, me and my Ben and Jerry's. I just want you to know that if I ever, ever see one bruise that he didn't want, one mark that Xander didn't allow you to put on his body, I will hunt you down and, Angelus or no Angelus, I will kill you. I'll look up how to really make it hurt in Giles's books. I'll make it last.”

Spike looked at her for a moment and then let his demonic face drop. “I've got to hand it to you, Slayer, you're a bit of all right! I'll let you live, mainly because Xander likes you and you actually give a shit about him. If I ever hurt him, well, I'll even sit still for a day to give you a fair chance. Not that I am going to hurt him, mind. I know it's hard for you to understand but I actually...”

He didn't want to admit to loving Xander to his enemy, but this wasn't his enemy right now. This was one of Xander's good friends. Xander would have said one of his best but Spike rather thought that the Cheerleader should have that slot. She knew more about Xander than the other two. Still...

Spike sighed. “Look, I'd rather pull out one of your internal organs through the small orifice of your choice than admit this, but I actually love the little git, alright? Think I'd put up with half his shit if I didn't love him?”

Buffy stopped looking quite so vicious—it wasn't a good look on her anyway, rather like a rabid poodle-- and Spike could see curiosity in her eyes. “What? Those new vision thingies he gets now? Because, yeah, that would be weird if I knew my boyfriend knew what I was thinking.”

Spike snorted. “Not that. After over a hundred years with Dru I'm used to nightmares, visions, bloody well talking to the trees or the fire hydrant on the corner. What have you. No, he makes me watch the damned fucking sci-fi channel! Do you know how many hours of Twilight Zone I had to sit through? I like my violence without any sodding morals!”

The Slayer laughed and Spike just stomped off into the night. Still, his mission had been accomplished. She’d gotten to threaten him and live through it, which would make Xander happy.

And the Slayer thought he wasn't nearly as vicious as he could be. Always an added advantage.

Still, Spike had to wonder what the boy had planned for Valentine's. He bet it was something special.

******