Hellmouth Heroes

FIC: Hellmouth Heroes (4/?)

Frank Castle looked around. “What the hell?” his Ingram Mac-10 came up in his right hand, his AutoMag in his other. One minute he was chasing down Jigsaw through Hell’s Kitchen, and now he was where?

“Where are we?”

“Don’t know toots,” he glanced at the speaker, recognising the strikingly-beautiful brunette as Spider-Woman, he raised an eyebrow. “Where in the hell did you come from?”

The beauty stared fearlessly back at him. “That was my question-.”

“SHIELD Command aren’t answering,” reported a blonde he didn’t recognise but figured must be pretty good at what she did if she worked for Fury’s outfit. If there was anyone he held in almost as high esteem as the Cap, it would be Fury.

“First thing we have to – FUCK!” he cussed and dropped to one knee as a near-by shop front shattered under the impact of Venom and Carnage flying through it. “Crazy basta-.”

Castle’s voice trailed off as he registered just what was happening around him. On a warehouse roof-top, Spiderman grappled with Doc Octopus, the Green Goblin, and the Scorpion, his only back-up Iron Fist. In the middle of the road, The Thing grappled with Rhino, their battle illuminated by street light. Further down the road, he could make out Rogue, Colossus, and Cyclops brawling with Sabretooth, Blockbuster, and Archlight. On a shop rooftop just overhead, he saw Wonder Man battling Abomination. Suddenly the Taskmaster flew over a garden hedge, Moon Knight leaping over it in pursuit.

“What is this?” gasped Spider-Woman. “Someone call a costume convention and not tell us?”

He snarled as he noticed USA Agent and Fury back to back, the heroic duo being beaten down by a combo of the Red Skull, Baron Zemo, Strucker, and a whole bunch of HYDRA thugs. “Not on my watch!” he snarled, Mac-10 coming up in one smooth motion.

“You can’t!” A voice squealed from his left.

Castle twisted at the waist, muzzle unerringly at the pale-faced red-head stood there, a large collection of costumed clowns, including Wolverine, Daredevil, and She-Hulk stood behind her. “No one tells me when I can fire my guns, sister,” he growled.

“I’m telling you now mister, because you’re not really Frank Castle!” the red-head squealed.

* * *

Willow sighed as she trudged through Sunnydale’s unusually crowded for night-time streets. She couldn’t believe she’d chickened out of wearing the Shana The She-Devil costume, but next to Faith, Cordy, and Miss Calendar, she’d only look silly in such a revealing costume. Best to play it safe.

But, she looked towards first Oz and then Amy, she just wished she’d had the nerve to do something about her feelings for Oz. But not her, she was meek mousy Willo-.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her friends’ posture changed. Heart beating wildly, she looked left and right, but couldn’t see any vampires. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Miss,” Oz looked towards her, his voice suddenly no-nonsense, “where are we? I can smell the salt in the air, so it’s on the coast, but which state?”

“Oz, what are you talking about?” Willow’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Who’s Oz?” Amy asked, her voice heavily accented.

Suddenly the penny dropped, something mystical had happened to her friends. “You’re not Daredevil and Black Widow!” she gasped.

Two sets of eyes zeroed in on her. “What are you talking about?”

Suddenly conscious of all the costumed violence going on around her, Willow quickly babbled out an explanation of where they were and who they were. “It must be a spell!” she finally finished.

“She’s telling the truth,” Oz stared at her, his sightless eyes just about the night’s most unnerving aspect.

“Matt-,” Amy gasped, “you can’t be-.”

Oz shook his head. “She’s telling the truth.”

”Oh come-.”

“Remember Natasha,” Oz’s gaze didn’t shift from her, “I can tell when someone’s lying from their heartbeat.”

“I suppose we’ve experienced stranger,” commented Amy. “What’s the plan?”

“We have to find our friends before….” Willow’s voice trailed off when Oz leapt into the air, foot snapping out in a flawless heel kick that cracked into the face of someone Willow still couldn’t see in the shadows. “Whoa. Before they hurt anyone. Then we have to find the spell’s cause and stop it.”

“Okay,” Oz nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Lead the way, but keep between Natasha and I.”

* * *

Xavier stared around the banquet table. What had he been thinking, sitting down to a meal with the likes of Sebastian Shaw, Nitro, Annihlus, Mister Sinister, Malice, Mad Thinker, Executioner, Enchantress, and many more?

Although at least he had powerful allies, not the least Sue Storm, Black Panther, Captain America, Union Jack, Namor, and Brother Voodoo. Still they were grossly out-numbered. Thinking quickly, he sent out a mental message to those of a similar mind to him. “Quickly, we need to retreat, make a stand somewhere!”

“Professor-.”

“I don’t know Ms. Richards,” he said as they sped through the apparent school’s darkened corridors, “I have no idea why or where we are.”

“It must be a trap,” T’Challa growled.

“I don’t know about that,” Xavier disagreed. “We’re too varied of a target.”

”What do you mean?” Namor imperiously demanded.

“Think Namor,” he replied. “Why attack Sue without the other members of the Fantastic Four? Or myself without the others of the X-Men?”

“And our enemies were an unlikely lot, there’s many grudges between them,” Union Jack added.

“Then we’ve been brought here for some higher being’s amusement?” Sue put in.

“Why is not immediately important,” Namor commented. “Surviving should be.”

“Yes,” Xavier paled. “Good lord, I can’t believe it.”

“Believe what?” Brother Voodoo asked.

“I’ve just set a mind probe out to see if there’s anyone in the vicinity who could help us,” Xavier shook his head. “Unbelievable.”

“Perhaps if you told us what is unbelievable we could judge for ourselves?” Namor tartly suggested.

Xavier ignored Namor’s customary rudeness with the ease of a seasoned politician. “There’s dozens of super-heroes and villains outside here, brawling in the streets of a small-town in California.”

”Why?” asked T’Challa.

“I don’t know, and I’m sensing a great confusion outside in many of the minds,” Professor Xavier mused aloud.

“I agree with Namor,” Captain America put in, “surviving should be our immediate priority, then we work on breaking this spell or whatever has caused all this.” America’s greatest hero looked towards Sue. “Ms. Storm is there anyway you could shield and make us all invisible while we sneak out of here?”

Namor bristled. “We should fight-.”

”Numbers are not on our side, our priority must be breaking whatever spell or machine holds us here, that will end this situation,” Cap looked towards Sue. “Well?”

“I can manage it.”

”Good,” Cap smiled briefly before looking towards him and Brother Voodoo in turn. “Professor please search for any alien mind that might be controlling what goes on here, Brother Voodoo please do the same on a mystical plane.”

”I’ll get right on it.” Xavier nodded, impressed as always by the shield-wielding warrior’s calm grasp of the situation.

“Namor, T’Challa, Union Jack, the four of us will form the corners of a square around the others, blocking any physical attack,” the Captain finished. “Now, let’s get to it!”

* * *

Before Castle had chance to react, Wolverine was between him and the red-head. “Babe’s tellin’ the truth,” growled the Canadian, “’least that’s what Daredevil’s ears and my nose tell me. Seems we’re all really high school students transformed into comic book heroes. Don’t know how it happened but that’s the truth of it.”

Castle spat on the ground between him and the mutant. The mutant wasn’t a man to lie and it did explain the sudden change in his location, but left another question unanswered. “So what we gonna do, we can’t just sit back and watch Fury get his ass kicked? He’s a good man, a damn fine one.”

“Yeah toots,” Wolverine glanced at the red-head and then him, “boy’s got a point.”

“K….knock them out, but you can’t kill them,” the red-head stuttered.

Castle grimaced. He was a pedal to the metal, fight to the death kinda guy but on the other hand he didn’t much fancy killing a bunch of possible high school kids whose only crime was their bad taste in costume. “’Kay, She-Hulk, you stay with the red-head.” The lawyer opened her mouth. “You’re the strongest out of all of us. She’s got answers we need.” Castle looked towards the others. “Let’s get this done.”

Castle holstered his guns and strode over to the battle. His fist slammed into the back of the nearest Hydra agent, the unfortunate agent’s legs buckling under him. A second later and he was ducking a right before crashing a retaliatory right into another hired thug’s throat. Face purpling, the man fell to his knees and onto his upraised knee.

A hand dropped onto his shoulder, a half-second later he was moving backwards, ramming his elbow into his would-be assailant’s chest, his arm immediately shooting up to wrap around his winded rival’s head. The moment his opponent was trapped, Castle lent forward at the waist, flinging the man back down on the concrete, Castle’s foot to the forehead knocking him out.

And that was it, fight over, the rest of the enemy predictably running. Castle stepped over the crumpled bodies as he strode back to the girl. “Seeing as you seem to be the only person who as a freakin’ clue what’s going down here, what do you figure happened?”

The girl started at his hard tone. “Sweet Christmas,” Cage growled, the others, Fury and USA Agent now included following behind. “Chill, ain’t the girl’s fault.” The powerfully built black glanced towards the red-head. “How do you figure you didn’t change and the rest of us did?” Luke asked in a softer voice.

The red-head’s emerald orbs widened to saucers. “Hero-City!”

“Say what?” Wolverine growled in a barely softer tone than he’d managed.

The red-head started, damn but she was a jumpy thing. “I…it’s where you all got your costumes,” she explained. “Where everyone except me got their costumes.”

“That’s what us in the detecting business call a lead,” decided Cage. “Lead the way, kid.”

“Who the hell put you in charge?” Wolverine growled a second before he could comment.

“Jeez,” Castle’s keen ears picked up She-Hulk’s mutter, “I’m chokin’ on these three’s testosterone.”

* * *


“Anything Professor?”

Xavier started slightly at the Cap’s mutter. “I’m afraid not,” he replied, looking with wonder and not a little guilt at the devastation being wrecked by their super-powered brethren. They were in the town’s main street, a town with what appeared to be an unusually high number of graveyards. All around there were brawls, overturned cars, fires, shattered fences, and destroyed shops.

“I’ve got something,” Brother Voodoo’s voice shook with awe with a little terror mixed in, pupils wide. “The aftermath of a spell, a magical residue.” The much-vaunted magician shook his head. “Such power, even at this distance it makes my head ache and teeth jangle.”

”Is it Stephen?” Sue asked, the strain of keeping their force and invisibility field up etched on the blonde beauty’s face.

”No,” Brother Voodoo shook his head. “This power exceeds even that of the Sorcerer Supreme, this power could tear planets from their orbits and cast them into a sun.”

”What a cheery thought,” muttered Union Jack.

“Still,” Captain America shook his head, “if we want answers, that’s where we’ll find them.”

* * *

“That’s the shop-.”

”Ease up,” Castle snatched the red-head’s shoulder and pulled her back, his other hand covering her mouth. “There’s something there, ain’t there Logan?”

”Good spot,” Wolverine praised. “Skrulls from the smell of them, seven of them in all,” the mutant looked towards the others, “we need the shop in one place right?” The red-head in his arms nodded once. “’Kay,” Wolverine looked around, “Daredevil wanna join me on the roof?” The red-costumed man nodded silently. “Storm, give us five minutes, then give us a light and noise show in front of them, when they’re distracted we’ll drop off the roof into them, the rest of you charge in and help us.”

“I’m not staying behind this time,” She-Hulk declared.

”Fine,” Wolverine growled. “Natasha, Castle, and don’t argue, we’ll need the increased muscle, stay with the kid. Let’s move.”

* * *

Climbing up behind the Skrulls was child’s play to a man who’d been part of Weapon X, trained as a Samurai, and fought in two world wars. How the hell DD managed it, Wolverine had no idea, but that was the blind man’s business.

And then Ororo lit up the sky with a dazzling display of lightning interspersed with crackling thunder, the Skrulls gasped and turned towards it as one. “You go girl,” he muttered before leaping off the roof and onto the back of the nearest Skrull, flattening him.

A second spun to face him. Quelling his homicidal impulse to open the alien up with his claw, Wolverine ducked under a straight right before kneeing his adversary in the crotch. The moment the alien began to double up, he grabbed the Skrull’s shoulder and swung him headfirst into the door.

The glass door exploded inwards as the Skrull flew through it to land in an unconscious heap. And that was it, his companions having charged in and dealt with the rest. “Damn, they make these Skrulls soft these days,” he mused. “Not like the good old days.”

”Ororo, Logan, good to see you both.”

Wolverine smiled at Xavier’s voice. “And you Professor,” he looked towards where he’d smelt but not seen the Professor. “How about coming out?”

”Of course, Susan, if you don’t mind?”

Wolverine raised an eyebrow as the bald mutant and his companions materialised. “What brings you here Professor?”

“Brother Voodoo,” Xavier looked towards the tall black man, “senses that whatever is caused the apparent spell that brought us to this town happened here.”

“Prof, read my mind.” Wolverine ordered.

”Oh goodness gracious,” Xavier’s eyes widened. “What sort of madman would do this?”

“Magic,” the black magician looked almost physically sick. “To the back.”

“Castle, watch our six, I’ll take point, Brother Voodoo with me, everyone else in between.” His orders given, Wolverine made his way through into some empty quarters, a door to the back open, the scent of a recently started car wafting up to him. “Someone just left, five – ten minutes ago,” he tersely reported.

“The statue of Janus,” Brother Voodoo pointed to a two faced plaster bust stood in the centre of the lounge floor. “Break that and you break the spell.”

“That’s easily done,” Wolverine snatched up the two faced statue and flung it into the wall, plaster shattering on impact.


* * *

Xander blinked as he came out of a daze to find himself in a strange room filled with his friends and people from school all dressed in comic book costumes. He opened his mouth to ask what was going on.

“Mr. Snyder!” Xander turned at Willow’s gasp. “You came as Captain America?”