Take her please.

Chapter 4

5 years later

"Mommy!!!!!! Where is my blue bathing suit?"

"In the drawer I guess."

"Not that one. The blue one with the thingies on it."

The blue one with the thingies on it. What the heck is that supposed to mean, "What are you talking about? What thingies?"

Willow called up the stairs, "You know the one. It has the blue things on it."

Oh my god, was everyone in this house crazy? "That does not help, Will."

"Found it. It's down here," Kennedy said.

When did my life become so hectic? The blue one with thingies? Were Moms supposed to know things like this?

I changed into my clothes. Have I mentioned how much I love the beach? It really was beautiful in Miami. I ran down the stairs.

"Everyone ready?"


Willow nodded, "Xander had to work. Giles is gone off doing something Giles-y. But Ken and I are ready for the beach."

I looked at Willow's hat, "Are you gonna wear that?"

She scrunched up her nose, "Wear what?"

Kennedy laughed, "That's a dorky hat."

"Well, you're a dorky girlfriend. Hey, I burn easily. Kiss my butt."

Liza grabbed Willow's leg, "I think it's a cute hat."

Willow smiled down at her, "That's why I love you best."

"Mommy? Is Dawn coming home tonight?"

Dawn had been off at college. She really had taken to it. And that's great. I missed her, though. I mean, she seemed to have a separate life outside of us. I don't know why I refused to believe that there was a life outside of us. I felt like I had everything I had ever wanted. Even if I didn't know it until after the fact.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Good, she always buys me stuff."

I rolled my eyes. Can we say spoiled?

"Well at least she is honest?" Willow tried.

The doorbell rang just then, and saved Liza from the "it's not nice to like someone just cause they buy you stuff" talk.

I looked at Willow and Kennedy, "You expecting someone?"

They both shook their heads. Liza shrugged her shoulders. Okay, I have raised a smartass. "Well I didn't expect you to be expecting someone."

Well, hell I guessed I would get it then. "Put your bathing suit on,"
I called out behind me.

Life has it little ways of stopping on a dime, so to speak. That first day, when Giles brought her home – I felt like I was drowning. Moving through syrup. It was almost dreamlike in its delirium. And yet that day – that day did not hold a candle to this.

"Hi B."

Faith. Standing on my doorstep. Faith. Looking exactly like she did six years ago. Take a deep breath Buff.

"You going to invite me in?"

Speak Buffy. "Uh…" Good job, mute.

"Wow, I guess this is the first time I have actually rendered you speechless."

"Faith," The word felt heavy in my mouth.

"Yep B, it's me. How's Miami treating you?"

"Faith," Damn, could I speak or what? "It's…it's treating us fine. Why in god's name are your hear?" That's right Buffy, straight to the point. Now remember to breathe.

She shrugged. Way to be nonchalant Faith. I wanted to kill her. The urge was fast becoming overwhelming as she stood there so smug. I restrained myself.

"I was…" she faltered for a moment, "I wanted to see you. And I … I wanted to talk to Giles, about something," she finished quickly.

"So you flew all the way from Boston? Just to see us. Whatever."

I heard the footsteps. I tried to turn around, to shoo her back into the shelter of the house, but in vain.

She peered around my legs, "Who are you?" She asked, looking up at Faith.

I have to admit now, it was funny. Not the situation, mind you. I didn't want Faith there. In fact, I wanted her far from there. But she looked like she had just seen a ghost. I guess, in a way, she had.

"You look surprised," I stated.

She stumbled back, "This is not… I didn't mean for you… I gave him a letter. I explained everything. He wasn't supposed to bring her…" She stopped. She looked close to fainting. Too bad, I thought.

"Letter? What letter?"

She couldn't take her eyes of Liza. "I told him I wanted her… not here B. Not here."

I felt the anger spreading across my stomach and into my chest. I looked down to Liza, "Go find Willow." She looked up at me confused. Good god, I loved her. "It's okay, just go, mommy'll be in there in a minute, okay?"

She tried to smile at me, "Are we still going to the beach?"

I looked at Faith, and sighed, "I don't know baby. Go find Willow and Ken. And tell them I said stay put. Okay?"

Faith watched the exchanged with something akin to horror flashing across her face. "I feel sick," she said.

So. "So. I don't really care how you feel." I walked outside and shut the door. "You look surprised?"

"Well excuse me; I didn't expect to see you here with her." She sighed again, "Calling you mommy. Is there somewhere I can sit down?"

I shook my head, "not in my house."

"Can't I explain B? This is a little bit of a shock."

I crossed my arms, "Well explain. F."

She sat down on the doorstep. And waited for me to join her. I stood for a moment longer. Why should I do anything she wanted me to do? I finally sat down, when I realized she wasn't going to start.

She took a deep breath. "Wow, she's really… I'm sorry if I am being weird."

I tried to smile. "When have you ever not been weird?" I turned to look at her, "You didn't know she was here?"

"No, god no. I left instructions with Giles. Specific instructions. I wanted her to go to a family that was…that was normal."

"He never said anything about instructions. Maybe he… I don't know.
I'm just glad he didn't follow them."

"Mommy?" I nodded. "Wow. This is a lot to take in," she said. She had yet to look me in the face. I took the opportunity to watch her. She was staring off into the distance, and her lip was quivering. I had seen quite a lot of things in my life. A lot. But I had never seen Faith cry. It should have affected me, but I was still terrified that she was actually here, sitting on my doorstep, holding my fate in her hands.

"Don't Faith."

She sniffed a bit and put her face in her hands. "I had no intention. No intention… It wasn't your problem B."

"She's not a problem. I love her Faith. More than anything in this world. I never thought," I took a deep breath, and looked away. "I never thought that I would get the chance to be, I don't know, happy I guess."

She looked at me, "You're happy?"

I nodded. "It's peaceful really. I mean I know…"I stuttered, "I know she's not technically mine, I guess, but she is. She's mine in all the ways that matter."

She nodded, "I finally did one thing right."

"What was that?"

"I made you happy."

"No. She made me happy. You… you pissed me off. How could you? She was just… god she was just a baby. And a perfect baby at that," I shook my head. I needed to think clearly. "You know Faith, I have never understood you," she tried to speak, but I stopped her. "No. Listen to me. You are the one who cut and ran when it was too hard. If you'd have just stayed in Cleveland. If you'd have just told me. We could have… we could have worked something out."

"Worked what out? You and I build a happy little family or something?" She sighed, "It wasn't your problem."

"I think that hardly matters. It's mine now, isn't it? I mean… it's not a problem, but it's my responsibility." Why did I feel like crying? Control yourself, Buffy. "What are you going to do?"

She raised an eyebrow at me, "Huh?"

"What are you going to do? About all of this? I can't… I won't let you take her. I don't want to fight you," she smiled a bit, "but I will, Faith. I will."

She frowned, "I don't want to fight you B."

"So what do you want?"

She shook her head, "I don't know. What am I supposed to want?" She stayed quiet for a bit, "She's beautiful."

I smiled. I couldn't help it, I was proud. "Yeah."

"What am I going to do?"

"I don't know Faith." I swallowed. I stared at her a moment. "On a sidenote, you look well."

She smirked a bit, "So do you blondie."

"Well at least you got your figure back."

She smiled again, "Slayer metabolism. You gotta love it."

The door opened behind us.

"Buffy, Liza said there was someone… Holy shit! Faith. Oh my god. What are you… What is she doing here? Why are you here? Liza said… oh my god. Oh my god."

"Calm down Red."

"Don't tell me to calm down Faith. Forgive me if I don't trust you or anything. What with the psycho and all."

Faith stood up, "Takes one to know one there."

I stood up as well, "Okay. That's enough." I turned to Willow, "Go inside."

"But…"

I held up my hand, "Go."

She backed away slowly, "I'm not shutting the door."

I pulled Faith back down. "Shut it Willow. I can take care of myself, you know?"

She shook her head, and mumbled something I'd rather not repeat, but she did shut the door.

"Red hates me."

I started to say something to contradict her, but realized it was pointless, "Yeah. Probably."

She looked at me, "Do you?"

"Hate you?"

She nodded.

I shook my head, "No. No Faith I've never hated you. Wanted to kill you – yes. Tried to kill you – Okay, but no never hated you." She looked down. "Where's the bravado Faith? Where is the badass?"

She smiled a bit. She still looked like she was going to cry though. "It melted away when the kid walked up."

I bristled. "She does have a name."

"Liza?"

"Short for…"

She smiled, "Elizabeth."

I smiled back, "thanks for that, by the way."

"Well," I took a deep breath and stood up, "You wanna go inside?"

"Is anyone gonna kill me?"

I shook my head, "Nah. Not while I'm here anyway. I've had enough death to last a lifetime. But if I leave… well my advice would be to duck and cover."

She nodded. "I sort of expected that."