The Rocky Road to Belonging

Title: The Rocky Road to Belonging
Author: AddictedtoBuffy
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Spike/Lindsey/Oz/Wesley
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel the Series. They are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy et al. I do not make money from the writing of this, it is purely entertainment. I do not mean any disrespect to the actors who have portrayed these characters. This fic contains explicit Male/Male relationships if you are adverse to this or are under the age of eighteen then please do not read. Thankyou to all the online writers who help keep the Buffyverse alive.
Summary: “My life just couldn’t be any worse at the moment.” Follow the adventures of Spike, Lindsey, Oz, Wesley, Faith, Lorne and Ethan when the initiative interferes in their lives. Set in an AU Season 4 of BtVS.
Series: This is the second story in the Belonging series. The first was “The Watcher and the Wolf” which was Oz/Wesley. You don’t need to read that to understand this all you need to know is that Oz and Wesley are together and Wesley is a werewolf. However, if you do want to read it, it can be found at AFF, Slashaholics Island and ForeverFandom.
Beta: I would be lost without the brilliant Bubbysbub offering wisdom and insight.
Feedback: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I’ll get on my knees and beg for feedback both good and bad
Part: 4/8
Distribution: Anyone I’ve already said yes to, go for it, anyone else, please ask
Warnings: Mild Language Warning as well as mild sex scenes for this chapter
Home Page: I have a yahoo group which can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ForeverAngel/
Song: The song in this part is Never Take Me Alive by Spear of Denisty, not mine
Reviews: Casbuz - Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou for letting me know that you're reading this one. Yes these are most of fav characters too and I thought it would be interesting if they were brought together. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter Four – Reflection

Oz’s POV

“So what we’re trophies, a status symbol?” Wesley spits, and I find myself momentarily confused. It’s like he was listening to a different conversation, but Spike just stroke’s his cheek and gazes fiercely into his eyes.

“No, you think I’d offer any smuck a place in my family, in my inner most circle of confidants? No, I’ve thought about this and on top of the reasons I’ve already stated, I want to do this because it’s you.”

“Us?” Wesley asks disbelievingly. I hate his self-esteem issues, I often wish I could get my hands on his father.

“Yes, the two of you,” Spike replies earnestly. “I’ve noticed in the past Oz’s determination to look after those around him and as for you, Lindsey told me what you did for him when he’d just woken up. How many Watcher’s do you know would cuddle up to a vampire and try to reassure them? I wouldn’t offer this to just anyone, you’re both easy on the eye too. So what’s it going to be. Yes or no?” Wesley leans his head against mine so that our lips are millimetres apart.

“What do you think?” I ask him.

“I… I can’t think straight right now, the taking a human life… but my instincts are telling me to say yes. If you really think we should, then yes,” he tells me.

“I do,” I reply, then kiss him, not having had the pleasure since we were captured. I feel his stubble rub up against my own but I don’t care. It’s Wes and life and home. Eventually I need to breathe and I reluctantly let go of his lips. I am achingly aware of the blanket that has fallen off his shoulder revealing amidst a myriad of purpling bruises, a rapidly hardening nipple. I stare at it wanting desperately to lap at it, lick at it.

“Oh yeah, that was hot, pets,” A distinctive British voice breaks through my thoughts. Suddenly Wesley is pulled away and I watch as an enthusiastic Spike kisses him. Oh God, that looks good. Surprisingly I am not jealous just extremely turned on. Wesley whimpers and clutches at Spike’s shoulders as he starts to thrust directly into my groin. I can’t help but arch up into him and throw my head back. It feels so good, at one point I thought that I’d never feel like this again. Distantly I am aware of the door next to me opening and I lazily turn to look, feeling high on the lust shooting through my nerves.

“Oh…Oh!” The person in front of me breathes and cool lips attach themselves to mine. Lindsey is kissing me and boy can he kiss, I feel myself surrender completely, letting him into my mouth and feeling Wes undulating above me. I so need to come, but first these blankets need to be out of the way. Before I can do anything though, Spike interrupts our mindless search for ecstasy.

“Stop… Stop!” He commands making all three of us snap our heads towards him.

“Look pets as much as I’d like to continue this, we still aren’t far enough away from Sunnydale to stop, besides which, the other three are on there way back. After we stop though I promise that I will take all three of you and make you mine.” I notice that at those words Wesley comes out of his lust-induced trance and shifts a little away from Spike while turning white. Spike however does not notice as his attention is now firmly on Lindsey.

“Got their clothes, number one?” At Lindsey’s nod Spike continues, “Right then, you’re sitting over here next to me.” I vaguely note Lindsey closing my door and moving around the car to Spike’s side, of the other three piling supplies into the car and getting in themselves, of the car starting and pulling out of the car park, but all of my focus is on Wesley. Wesley who has gotten off my lap and is sandwiched between myself and Lindsey. Wesley who has the blanket wrapped around him so that only his head is poking out. Wesley who hasn’t said a word and is staring off into space. I only wish I knew what he was thinking.

*****

Wesley’s POV

Oh darn, oh darn, oh darn, oh darn, oh darn. I am in big, big trouble. My thoughts are all confused, I don’t know where to start. First of all I ache all over from being tortured by the US army. Then there’s the whole turning into a werewolf at any time, and I’ll have a meltdown about that later. Then there is the Spike is my alpha thing. William the Bloody, the vampire my father always argued was the worst of them all (I think he was biased) is now the person I must obey and sleep with. He kissed me before, I liked it, I wanted more, and I acted appallingly and against everything my family believed in. And that’s not even the worst of it. Oz killed a human, I killed a human probably more than one and I don’t know how I feel about it. I’m on the run from the American military just like I’d be on the run from the Watcher’s Council if they knew I was a werewolf. A song slowly permeates my brood.

/I’m leaving on the fast train
Don’t ask me when I’m coming back again/

I’m a fugitive, a wanted man. Me, Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, once respected Watcher. Now screw up, werewolf, fugitive and murderer. I also, for once in my life, feel much more settled and this disturbs me much more than anything else.

/I reckon it’s only a matter of time
Before the law kicks in the door/

It’s probable that I will always be on the run now. You see those television shows and the villain who escapes from prison is always caught no matter what. Am I the villain now? I killed a man, the military is not just going to let me go.

/Mother I’m running out of change
But I had to phone to let you know/

My mother, the only person of my old life I regret not saying goodbye to. When I first became a werewolf I was too scared to ring my parents weekly as I had before because I was paranoid that somehow he would find out about my changed status. I finally sent a grovelling email because I wanted to be in touch with mother.

/They’ll never take me alive
They’ll never take me alive/

I need to stop dwelling on the past. What’s done is done, I am free, I am with Oz and we are starting to become part of a (very unorthodox) pack. And that’s the way it will stay. They are never taking me back to that place, of this I am determined.

/Mother I killed someone
It wasn’t that I hated him/

I need to face the fact that I am a murderer. It doesn’t matter that they released my wolf, it doesn’t matter that he worked for a group who killed humans like Lindsey in the name of science. He might not have known what they were doing, he might have had family, a wife, a little baby girl. He might not have had that but it doesn’t matter. I took a human life. What gives me the right to do that. I cannot give life to the good people who are dying so what gives me the power, the authority to take life away from a person? Besides I am a mere mortal, who am I to judge who does or doesn’t deserve life? I killed a man.

/You see he was trying to stop me
But he found out I’d go the whole way
They’ll never take me alive
They’ll never take me alive/

I am dimly aware of two figures snuggling up to me. One is warm and one is cold but they don’t say anything, they just give me comfort and for that I am grateful as tears run down my nose. The disturbing thing is that I don’t regret it. I would rather me and mine be alive rather than not having killed anyone and be dead. And for thoughts like these I will go to Hades but you know what? I don’t care.

/I can’t tell you how I feel
Maybe you don’t want to know
Maybe, maybe, maybe
But anyway I love you so
They’ll never take me alive
They’ll never take me/

*****

Ethan’s POV

I wake up gasping, nightmare images slowly beginning to fade from my mind. There is a heavy weight against my shoulder and someone is softly snoring into my ear. I am leaning up against the door and I can hear the purr of the engine. I open my eyes and blink at the light shadows before turning, and without disturbing Lorne who is asleep against me, glance over at Faith.

“You awake then?” She asks and I snort at the obviousness of it.

“No, I’m asleep, just dreaming I’m awake,” I reply dryly.

“Ahh that would be it then,” she answers giving a small smile. I have never gotten to know a slayer before because I was always too annoyed at the perceived competition for Ripper’s attention. A competition that I repeatedly failed to win.

“What’s the time?” I ask her, just wanting to draw her into a conversation.

“Three in the afternoon. You should go back to sleep you’ll be driving in an hour.”

“Nah, I’m awake now, its quite warm in here,” I note as I pull my pullover off. The black paint traps the heat inside and we can’t open a window during the day in case a stray sunbeam fries Spike or Lindsey. Of course this very old car doesn’t have air conditioning.

“Jesus Christ, what happened?” Faith asks glancing at my arm, I look down studying the mass of scar tissue on my lower bicep as I have often done before.

“Ever seen a tattoo on Ripper’s arm near the inside of his elbow?” I ask; I know after the senseless death and Ripper leaving he started hiding his arm, it didn’t seem to go with his respectable Watcher-man image but she might have seen it.

“Yeah, some kind of snakish symbol.” She nods peering at the road through the gaps in the paint on the windscreen.

“Well that was on my arm and long story short, I burned it off with acid.,” I tell her. I never chat to people, specially strangers, but I don’t seem to mind doing it with her.

“Shit, you must have been desperate,”

“I suppose I was, I had a demon on my trail who wanted to kill me cos I wore that symbol.”

“How’d you stop it?” Faith asks.

“I didn’t, a vampire did.”

“Ah that would have been Angel. B and he had this Romeo and Juliet thing going on.”

“Angel? Do you two know that pain in the ass?” Lindsey asks from the back seat. There is a lazy laugh then Spike answers.

“Ah Linds, not that I don’t agree with you, but you’re now part of that pain in the assess family.”

“What??”

*****

Lorne’s POV

“Turn right at this next intersection and keep driving til you see a red farmhouse, that’s where we will wait out the sun,” Spike instructs me. Its thirty minutes to sunrise and an hour ago, when Spike realised where we were, he rang a discrete demon contact of his who agreed to give us a place to stay for the day. I am so ready to get out of the car, we have been driving for over twenty-four hours, only stopping for petrol and calls of nature. I am also ready to sleep. A long time ago I got used to sleeping through the day because I have, no had, a club to run at night.

My last little snooze was disrupted when Lindsey found out that he is now related to Angel of the Aurielius clan. It turns out that Spike is Angelus’ grand-childe. I have not met the vampire with a soul yet, but there have been rumours of him running through my club since he first landed in LA. Apparently there is some bad blood between Spike and Angel so I probably won’t have a chance to meet him now. If there wasn’t bad blood between those two we would have probably gone to Angel’s straight away, as vampires always go to their close clan when in trouble.

I spot the farmhouse and pull up the drive stopping in front of the impressive house. There is another car in the driveway and the door opens, allowing an overweight African-American woman to get out. Well at least that’s what her overall appearance suggests but as her eyes keep changing colours, and not to mention her smell, she is definitely a demon. The others slowly get out of the car stretching cramped legs as Spike makes his way to our host.

“Sally, how are you doing? You look good as always.”

“Yes Spike, stop trying to flatter me. Where’s Drusilla?” Sally asks hugging Spike.

“Left me for a fungus demon,” Spike replies gesturing us over.

“Always said you could do better than her, now what’s going on?”

“Got some soldiers on our tail. We just need somewhere to hide out the sun then we’ll be gone.”

“Where are you going?” she asks and Spike pauses for a moment before answering.

“I don’t know,” he admits. I can hear the resignation in his voice and know it must have been hard for him to admit. Since we escaped he’s been the leader, the one with the answers. He probably thinks that by admitting his weakness he will lose our respect. Well for me the opposite is true, he has gained more respect by admitting his weakness. Sally leads us into the house and remarks.

“I’ve heard rumours that there’s a demon community in Canada that will take in run away’s etc, as long as they follow a no violence policy. Now there’s food in the kitchen, plenty of rooms, I need to get to my niece’s birthday party. So here’s the key and put it under the front mat when you’re finished.” And in that whirlwind she is gone leaving us awkwardly staring at each other. What do we do now?

*****

Faith’s POV

We quickly moved everything into the house and then closed all the curtains so that Spike and Lindsey wouldn’t fry up. The house is fairly big with one huge bed that Spike immediately claimed for himself and his boys. Their room can only be got to through another smaller bedroom. However there is another exit from the room straight outside near where the car is parked through a secret doorway behind a bookcase. I haven’t chosen a bed yet, I don’t want anyone to know, but after the initiative I don’t want to be by myself. I find Lorne and Wesley in the kitchen making a heap of sandwiches.

“Need help?” I ask. Wesley looks up and I feel bad that I didn’t give him more of a chance last year, but then again, he is now hardly recognisable as the wannabe watcher I knew last year.

“Yeah sure, do you want me to bandage that arm?” Wesley offers and I look down at the arm that the scientists cut down to the bone, then stitched back up but didn’t bandage it for some strange reason. I wrapped a bandanna around it a day ago but with everything else that has been going on I haven’t looked at it since.

“Thanks Wesley that might be a good idea.” I smile at him. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance to do things right this time and not push people away like last time. We sit down at the table in companionable silence as he deftly fix’s up my arm.

“Alright people, we need to talk,” Spike announces and as he walks past he brushes his hand up Wesley’s arm. I watch as Wesley gazes at his arm for long moments lost in thought. I wonder what is going through his head? As I stand up, instead of saying thank you for the first aid job which I think would sound lame after everything last year I offer,

“Wes, if you ever need to talk, I’m here.” Before he can respond I leave, walking into the lounge to sit on the arm of the chair Ethan is in. Wesley enters last and after handing out sandwiches, sits on the couch with Oz and Lindsey. Spike begins pacing back and forth in front of us.

“I have a proposition for you,” he begins, “we did well escaping from the initiative facility and we did that by working as a team. I’ve realised that because we all have mostly different backgrounds we all have different skills that we can contribute to the whole. I don’t know about you guys, but I am sick of being a lone ranger, being by myself, and the seven of us have been thrown together. Bloody hell I sound like a friggin’ general in front of the troops. What I’m trying to say is that I would like the three of you to join me and my boys.” At my raised eyebrow he explains. “Not in a sexual sense but in a family sense or a vampire clan sense. As a master vampire I am entitled to have a court or an entourage. People around me who assist me and in return I as the master vampire makes sure they are looked after.” He pauses for a moment studying our faces, trying to read our responses. “So what do ya say?”