Shopping with the Dead

Sunlight fell across Joyce face waking her. For a moment she was disoriented, the pretty well-decorated room was not her own nor was the cream colored bed where she was lying. After a moment she tried to move feeling stiff, yet good and wondered why she was only partially dressed and mostly naked, since she never slept in the nude. She turned and saw Cordelia lying beside her; her dark curls framing her face. The night before came back in a rush. For a moment Joyce didn’t move, her mind flittering between embarrassment, fear and a sleepy calm. Finally she decided she wouldn’t be able to figure anything out lying in bed, and since she most certainly was too awake to go back to sleep, she got up. As soon as her feet hit the floor the world began to spin and she remembered how much she’d had to drink. She managed to find her pants and her shirt from the off the floor. She made her way bleary and stumbling to Cordelia’s kitchen where she managed to get a cup off the shelf without dropping it and drink several large cups of water. Feeling slightly better she proceeded to fill two more cup of water. One she disposed on the coffee table next to Tara’s still sleeping form, and the other she left on the bedside table beside Cordy.
Next Joyce hit the shower. The hot water did much to revive her and she discovered Cordelia had excellent taste in shower products. Joyce particularly appreciated the soap Cordelia had picked out; it formed soft foam and smelled deliciously of honey. When she got out, wrapped in one of Cordy’s robes, Joyce found Tara awake and cleaning up the glasses and ice cream from the living room. Cordelia was arguing with someone on the telephone.
“Oh come on”
She was saying as Joyce dried her hair with a towel.
“You have to go right passed my house to get to the library, and I know your going to the library, you always go there on the weekends. Come on Wes, just drop a couple dozen bagels over at my apartment on your way, I’m paying.”
She made a face at the telephone.
“Fine, yes, I owe you one”
She hung up.
Joyce moved over the coffee pot where someone had made coffee. After a moment Joyce felt Cordelia’s arms slips around her waist.
“you look beautiful this morning.”
Cordelia’s voice was soft. Joyce stiffened slightly and turned in Cordelia’s arms to face the younger woman. For a minute Cordelia studied her face.
“you know”
Cordelia’s voice was pitched purposefully light.
“I hope your not regretting last night because I’m not at all. You’re a sexy woman, why would I regret anything we did together?”
Joyce sighed then took the other woman’s hands away from her waist holding them in her own.
“I don’t regret it.”
She told Cordelia
“But I have another life in Sunnydale.”
She paused for am moment searching Cordy’s face
“it’s a good life. I have a job, and two daughter, and a nice home. I have friends that respect me. I don’t know if that would change if we kept seeing each other maybe it would maybe it wouldn’t.”
She bent forward and kissed Cordy on the cheek,
“but I think what started in L.A. should stay in L.A.”
She let go of Cordy’s hand as the doorbell rang and smile
“This won’t be my only shopping trip you know.”

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The minister finished speaking and slowly the guests began to move away from the grave. A few, like Willow, Xander, and Giles stayed being to comfort Buffy and Dawn, but finally the little group too began moving way, back towards Sunnydale. Tara had held Willows hand throughout the whole service, her hand clench so hard around her girlfriend’s that her knuckles had gone white. Glancing back at the grave she saw a figure slowly coming from the opposite direction towards them. Squinting against the sun she was able to make out who it was as the figure drew closer.
Cordelia had chosen to wear white instead of black. She wore a white suit, mini shirt and blazer with a big white hat, and carried white roses. She looked older, more serious; her face drawn and unreadable. For a moment she stood before the grave without moving. Just looking down at the stone, her face expressionless. Finally she knelt and placed the roses on the freshly dug earth. Only then did she cry.