How It Was and is to be

"Back to the marital boudoir I go, there Val is with all the Sethonians gathered round 'er. On the wall was a plan of the Putin, on the floor ready to replace it was a plan of the Nosferatu. They'd turned us into soldiers and sent us out to kill well now those chickens was about to come home to roost."

"We went over the plan, they memorized the plan. Then we set off to make the plan work. But before we left the room I handed Riddick a combat knife. 'So you with us?' He looked at me with those silver black eyes of his. 'You my main chance Spike, long as that’s the case I'm your man.'"

"So we went off an we did it."

"First of all we 'eaded for the PX. That was on the main floor and manned by a human, we was allowed wages provided we spent 'em in the government store and only on stuff that was from their approved list. The bloke in there was a right sleaze, he'd overcharge the blokes for any unapproved stuff they wanted. And wasn't opposed to gettin' the vampresses to go down on him for the stuff they was after. Val hated 'im and cause she was the clever girl what 'ad designed and built the badges she was the one who got to make the first kill. Oh and was she vicious about it."

"'Hey Charlie did my lingerie get made yet, I wanna get my hot little ass in it and give the man a treat?' You could order a garment and the replicators would run it up. Val 'ad ordered a black basque with susies and stockings, you'll be glad to know something’s never go out of fashion, she'd done that cause she knew exactly how long it would take to make and cause it would get the little bastard going. 'I got your money right here."'

"She placed a dozen of the plastic notes they use for money on the counter. Kept 'er 'and over 'em though knowin' that he'd put 'is greasy mitt on top of 'ers and almost 'earin' the words. 'What about what else you owe me?'"

"She pouted real prettily. 'You said that I wouldn’t have to do that that's why I'm paying you twice the going rate.'"

"Rate just went up.' He answered leerin' at 'er.

"She shrugged much as you'd expect from a soulless vampire with no morals. 'Okay but I get a discount asshole, you only get half the money. Open the door up and we'll do it with you standing with your back to the counter.'"

"Soon as 'e 'ad 'is back turned I started tip toeing across thinking that Val was just going to sink 'er fangs into 'im and drink. Instead of that I watched 'er disappear down behind the counter whilst the dirty 'uman scrotbag made preparations of a clothing opening nature. I speeded up getting behind him just as 'is initial moans turned to an open mouthed scream of agony. My 'and blocked out the sounds as he bucked and kicked against my girl who was busy killing him. When 'e went limp I let 'im drop even as Val rose 'er face covered with his blood. 'Well that was fun."'

"I looked over the counter and at what was lying on the metal floor beside the body. Trying not to be sick for a second or two I couldn't 'elp but exclaimed. 'Oh you vicious bitch you bit 'is cock off!'"

"'Sure did, teach him not to stick his nasty piss tasteing bits in innocent girls mouths.'" She just grinned back despite the insult. "And at least I didn't swallow. Want to lick his blood off my face?'"

"I couldn't stay mad at 'er so I had a good 'ard lick. Then sure that the jammers worked we set off for the doors that connected us to the human parts of the ship."

"Security there wasn't too complicated there was three guards. All of whom knew we was chipped and so sat on their arses watching telly all day. They was so familiar with us and so confident in their technology that they wouldn't say more than 'Hullo,' if we walked in and joined them watching a sportscast. Which is what three of us did now, sitting down amongst them then bite their throats out."

"The door was more complicated and the only way through was to 'ave a human escort. If the heat detectors overhead scanned an unescorted vamp it was a holywater shower for the poor bugger standing below. Add to that there was a hand print scanner there too. I turned to Riddick and says to 'im. 'Alright mate you know what you 'as to do.'"

"He didn't hesitate, drawin' the blade I'd given 'im he neatly spliced the right hand and forearm of one of our three victims from the guardroom and set off for the doors with it. Val and me exchanged a look and then with one of me Sethonians in tow we stripped the three bodies of their pistols and followed. Together with the human three of us would look like a work group off to do some crappy cleaning job that the humans couldn't be bothered with."

"Casual as you like Riddick slaps the severed 'and onto the display and presses it down. The door frame computer takes a reading of the finger print and wide open slides the door, we walks through and into the open corridor beyond. Quick as a flash Val is down on 'er knees using an electronic screwdriver to take the panel of the back of the door security system. She was expecting to do the which wire too cut bit, but as it turned out there was a big red off button. So that was that sorted. Then she went and unscrewed a panel in the wall leading into one of the air conditioning ducts."

"Now we 'ad been carefully studyin' the plan's for the Putin for weeks gettin' to know 'er every nook and cranny. We'd spotted straight off that above her broad gangways and passages and cabin spaces and holds there was another cramped little world. Duct ways for air supplies, maintenance galleries, inspection walkways and pipes through which the waste tanks would be flushed every few weeks. You could get anywhere in the ship without a human settin' eyes on you. That was what we intended to do now."

"After an exchange of frankly nervous looks me an Val squeezed ourselves into the pipe and started climbing up it using our hands and knees, Riddick and two Sethonians with badges was right behind up. Last up was a vampire without a badge, our proving ground for what we was about to produce."

"We went up from level D where we poor bloody undead infantry was kept to level B were most of the utilities was situated. Val who was above me, and most distractin' when I looked up let me tell you, braced 'erself with her knees and ass against the narrow pipe and ran a miniature periscope out through the grill on the panel for that corridor. "All clear."'

"Next thing you know we 'ad the panel unscrewed and was draggin' ourselves out of another hatch and into a long white corridor. 'Replication is three doors down.' Val whispered as the troops sorted themselves out. "I don't know how many guys there are in there but we need to take it if this is going to work.'"

"'All that automation there can't be many and they'll be poofs in white coats.' From my experience at the initiative and after I'd realized that the white coated brigade are usually right nancys. 'We go in 'ard but remember we need one alive to test the new badges.'"

"With that we headed for the door. It had a simple enter button next to it, there was no lock or key pad. We was near the center of the ship and if enemies got this far it would be too late anyway. The door opened and we boldly walked in to see six humans in white clothing and face masks sat in front of the various computer screens."

"Afternoon gents." I said as I stiff armed the one nearest the door. "Mind if we use your nice replicators?"

"They minded alright but the screams didn't last long. My tagged Sethonian's turned the three youngest and prettiest so we'd 'ave someone to run the gaffe after we 'ad the ship in our possession, we just drained the other two. I slapped the bloke I'd knocked out awake and 'eld 'im while I waited for Val to do 'er thing."

"First thing Valandra did was stick a mini disk into one of the computers. Whirring noises started and the design for the jammin' device appeared on the console. Then lights started flashin' all over the display. Then me bird runs over to the other side of the room and fires up another computer, keys 'erself up some kind of index and selects what she wants, tags that and then moves to the next screen and tags something else."

"First badge dropped out of the slot on Val's first computer just as the gears started to shift on the other two she'd programmed. I went over and picked it out and tossed it to the Sethion who'd come up to be our testing ground, three seconds later the remaining white coat was dead on the ground and we knew we had a winner. The new signal jammers started dropping out of the slots evey few seconds we started gathering them up and putting em into bags.".

"Then there was a solid clunk as something heavy dropped into the hatch under the second computer Valandra had worked on. With a wink to me she went over to it and hauled out a taser rifle. 'Look what I made for Daddy.' she said as she threw it across the room to be caught by me. 'Now we can give those bastards back what they gave us.'"

"Pretty soon we 'ad a bagful of about 100 badges and a couple of taser rifles each. Time to put plan B into action. Riddick and I went out into the corridor and unhooked the panel we'd loosely pinned back up. Then I tossed the bag down the pipe. It would land in a net set out below. From there distribution was rapid and we 'ad sixty of the lads 'eadin' for the engine room at speed. Meanwhile another twenty started climbin' up to join me."

"I turned to Riddick and was about to say. 'Right mate 'we're on our way,' when suddenly a door opens down the corridor and a security guard steps through it. He went for 'is pistol sharpish and 'e would 'ave got me before I could 'ave got me taser up if Riddick 'adn't 'ave tossed 'is knife overarm straight into the blokes chest."

"I gave 'im a look an' 'e just smirked in reply silently we picked the bloke up and carried 'im back into the replicator room and dropped 'im down with the other bodies. 'You 'av is gun.' I said to the still 'uman mass killer. He just shakes 'is 'ead and rips the knife out of the wound. "This skiv will do me just fine till I get talons and teeth."

"A couple of minutes later twenty more vamps 'ad clambered up to join us and I 'ad another bag of badges down the shoot to the lads at the bottom, now we moved onto stage two."

"My team was off to the front of the ship to the bridge. Once there we was to take out all the bridge crew destroyin' the command structure of the ship and makin' sure that communications to the other vesels in the flotilla were in our 'ands. Down below us team three was already crawlin' down the 'opefully dry sewage outflow pipe that would bring them out just to the west of the armoury. Grab that and the humans aboard would 'ave no weapons but a few sidearms. Team two meanwhile was 'eadin' along the main maintenance inspection tunnel that ran along the bottom of the hull interior towards the engine room. Grab that and we could if necessary try to take the ship away from the flotilla."

"We 'ad our route already planned out to. All the loose furniture in the room was rapidly piled up so that we 'ad a pyramid goin' up to the false ceilin' in the replicator room. Valandra climbed up it fast as you like and 'ad the panelling loose in no time, then she swings herself up as graceful as anythin' and get's into the ventilation duct that we've just opened up. I threw the rope ladder we'd just replicated up to her and she fixed it to a pipe up there an' we was away."

"Ten minutes of swearin' jostlin' an clatterin' later and we was under the floor of the khazie's just behind the Putin's bridge. A quick shuftie with the periscope showed they was empty at the moment but within' a minute we 'ad 'em packed with vampires."

"'Set tazers to stun.' I managed to somehow say past an urgent need to laugh me 'ead off. Joke was spoiled though by the dim looks on the surroundin' vamp faces."

"'Spike tazers can't be set them to anything but stun,' Val explained patiently whilst I inwardly swore they were going to spend the next ten years watchin' telly till they understood me. I give 'er a look but said. 'Anyway never mind that shall we go take the ship now?'"

"So we bloody did, went in there like the furies zappin' an' bootin', punchin' out lights and rippin' throats. But carefully we shot out only a few circuits and we made sure that all of the officers was in a turnable state. Then we got to work."

"First Val shut down all the emergency doors in the 'uman soldiers livin' quarters. Then she got on the blower to engineerin' an' the armoury and confirmed that we'd been just as successful there. A quick ring round our other smaller gangs reported more success, we 'ad the shuttle bay in our control an' there was two shuttle pilots already 'eadin' towards risein'. While she did that I was doin' important supervisin' work. Sittin' in the captains chair swingin' it round and round in circles grinnin' like a madman cause I'd ALWAYS wanted to do that!"

"Anyway once I got back from Planet Kirk we got ourselves properly organised. I sent a message to the lads in the armoury to look out some nice none lethal non explosive gas to release in the parts of the ship we didn't own. Then I got 'em to dishin' out the weapons. Everyone was badged by now you see and the 'hole regiment was rarerin' to go."

"And now we just 'ad to wait, I knew you see that straight after a mission ended the Flag officer aboard the Nosferatu would get on the long range signaller back to blighty and ask is guvner, 'What's next?' Then he'd ring round the flotilla and all the Captains and there XO's would nip over for a chinwag. And that was what I was waitin' for, a chance to pack a shuttle with every vampire it would 'old an' sail invited into the docking bay of the Nosferatu. A chance to take that big old bastard of a ship."

"An hour later, wearin' a nice new black fleets officers uniform run off the Replicator by 'erself, who looked so the dish in black an' silver that we'd 'ad to take 'alf an 'our off to do it over a console, I was supervisin' 1st battalion as the hauled just comin' too soldiery out of the gassed 'uman barrack area and devided them up into folk as we needed to turn, folk to keep alive to breed with each other and give US a slave workforce, and folk we could just kill at our post victory party. I figured that with all we'd gone through humanity at least owed us a send off."

"But then the klaxton on the wall started up and Casterian the vamp I'd left in charge of comms came through loud and clear. 'Signal from the Nosferatu sir, meeting is to occur in two hours at 0-fifteen hundred."

"How many vampires can you fit in a shuttle, well in the captains gig, 'is runabout, it was just twenty so we'd already signalled across that that ship was malfunctioning and we'd 'ave to come across in one of the transport shuttles. Stripped of it's tank and with a steady 'and at the controls one of those could carry 500 vamps easy."

"An so we started gettin' ready to go..." Spike looked across at the clock on the wall in Spike's room, it was after eleven. "Are we talkin' AM or PM on the time up there?"

"PM." This time's Spike had just been sat there listening and letting it all blend in. "Sun will 'ave set by now."

"Good." Future Spike stood up and stretched cramped legs. "Lend us a coat mate and we'll nip out for a bite to drink an' a few fags. I'm parched an' me nicotine rush is wearin' thin. Only bloody problem with leavin' humanity behind, no tobacco, the buggers 'ad rigged the replicators so they couldn't make it to stop tax dodgin'."

Spike stood up and found that the world had stopped spinning dangerously and that his headache had gone away too. Going over to the clothes rail that held his limited wardrobe he picked out the black leather trenchcoat he'd taken in this city so many years before. "This should make you look less of a wally mate."

"I do not look like a wally, I look's like a military genius." Spike insisted as he put the coat on. "Anyway lets go find ourselves some tramps eh, I could do with a quick nip tonight."

*********************************************

"Bit bleedin' warm out 'ere isn't it." Spike of the future complained as they walked along South Street Manhattan and looked out at the river. "I'm certain it shouldn't be this 'ot at night even in the summer?"

"'Umans." His twin responded simply. "All with their air-conditioners on full blast pumpin' the 'ot air out of their gaffes. It adds three degrees or so to the citys temperature in summer and drops it by three in the winter when they churns out cold air. It all 'elps to add to the energy wasteage."

"Oh well that’s the Yanks for ya, 25% of the worlds pollution and growin'. back 'ome it gets too hot we open a window, it gets too cold we close the window and turn the 'eat on, when it's got hot we turned the 'eat down. Still never mind eh."

As they walked along trying to not look too conspicuous Spike resumed his tale. "So we gathered down in the armoury and I got the boys and girls equipped. We took shooters with us obviously, there was 2000 crew on the Nosferatu after all, but also tasers and gas grenades. There was a lot of bits of that ship that we needed intact to live comfortably. I didn't want bullets in the engines or the lovely machines they used in the medical centre, any more than I wanted the flight controls blowin' away. We needed to be able to fly that thing as soon as poss."

"So Valandra and me gets the big plan up on the wall of the briefin' room. Stands there with our laser pointers going ninety to the dozen. Tellin' each company what they as to do. And for once they really listened, they knew this was there only one way out, that if we wanted to live free of 'umanity that the Super Dreadnought was our only 'ope."

"I was sweatin cobbs when we went onto the shuttle let me tell you. I hadn't been so scared in years. Scared that it was all goin' to go wrong, scared that all of my Childer were going to die. Family 'ad gotten to be special for me, I didn't want' to lose em."

"The Nosferatu's docking bay was crowded. By the port where we was going to land there was two lines of marines waitin' as an honour guard an' also ships officers and suchlike waitin to pipe the Putin's captain aboard. An everywhere else there was humans scurryin'. Mechanics working on fighter and drone engines, maintenance crews cleanin' and detailin', armourers moving unused bombs and munitions back to storage, pilots standing round chattin' and waitin' to take ships out on CAP or for test flights and just people standin' round waitin' for somebody to tell 'em what to do."

"All that bustle and it all came to such a very un-peaceful end."

"When the hatch dropped some youngish lookin' ensign, cute blond girl called Rose I've 'ad some good times with since, started up with the whistle only got the first note out before the air turned blue as we let 'em have it and good."

"Fifty of us crammed into that hatchway to deliver that first volley. It swept the deck clean, tazer fire can be devastatin' at close range an' some of those marines an officers stood up close literally flew back when it hit them."

"And once again we poured out across a space full of 'umans, punchin', bitin', kickin' and clubbin with our rifle butts. All racing for the same thing, get to the exits before they could block 'em. Get out into the main area's of the hull an' take the whole ship section by section. An' we managed it too we went through in such a seethin' mass of humans an vamps all fightin' together that they couldn't block the doors in time."

"They 'ad big problems those humans, wood was as you can imagine a rarity on a starship an' with religion bein' alot rarer among the populace of Twenty-Five 'undred crucifixes was thin on the decks too. There was alot of gunfire by the time we'd finished though, we 'ad to kill a good three undred of 'er crew and badly wound a whole lot more before we was done. And sixty of our boys an' girls was dusted before the bridge fell"

"But before an hour 'ad passed I was sat in the biggest most comfortable chair I'd ever plonked my arse on, or at least that was 'ow it felt sat there on that big chair in the center of the bridge facing this huge great monitor that showed us the outside world. Around me the boys an girls bustled gettin' the systems up on line. Our auxiliary ships was you see already off an runnin' even though there Captains was down in the 'oldin' pens I'd set up downstairs. The remainin' officers wasn't 'angin' about to chat to Mr Vampire."

"Of course we outran 'em easy and a shot across the bows was all it took to get 'em to surrender, that an' me promisin' that they'd all get turned if they gave in but if they didn't they was all dead dogs. An' with that we turned the whole flotilla round and I set us all off at full whack for the outer reaches."

By now the two Spike's were both smoking having found a late opening store. Also they were both a good deal less pale, future Spike having fed on a couple of tramps whilst present Spike had puzzled his future self with a stop off at a late opening abattoir. Current Spike looked thoughtfully up at the moon and asked. "So then what?"

"A lot of varied stuff. We spent six years in hyper drive livin' on syth and the products of a breedin program from six 'undred 'umans we kept. Don't look at me like that they was usin' us as cannon fodder for decades mate. When we came out we was deep into the terra incognito where no human ship 'ad been before. And that s where we've stayed ever since gradually working deeper and deeper into the galaxy explorin' new worlds ect ect."

"We've met people's we could eat and peoples whose blood was like acid. We've turned green skinned and blue skinned humanoids, we've fought as mercenaries in bloody wars and sometimes championed the weak out of plain old charity. We've 'unted and been 'unted but we ain't never yet met an enemy with a ship as big an' as bad as ours. I got myself a flotilla of fifteen now, some pirates who threw in with us and some prizes of war, and some small cruisers we built ourselves in a big bloody moveable dock I robbed. There's four thousand vamps and eight thousand humans an aliens who follow my orders, we don't kill any of the humans anymore by the way unless it's as a reward an followed by turnin'."

"Valandra is still my queen. She and me both went back into the tank in the med centre a decade or so ago and came out all pretty. She's really come over all aristo the proud beauty. Likes nothin' better than meetin' Royalty where ever we comes across it."

The vampires descended the steps back to Spike's basement. "But seriously mate it's absolute bliss and more than makes up for all that 'eart-ache of the past thirty years an' the next two hundred an' odd."

"So just like that huh....." Spike began as he unlocked his door but as he opened it he fell silent very much aware that the room wasn't empty. "Ok who the bleedin' 'ell is in there?"

"Me of course you bloody duffus!" An irrate strange female voice replied in a broad New York accent. "What the freakin' hell is going on here Spike, I go too your quarters to look for you and there's a big blue circle spinning on your floor and no sign of you. I jump through it to rescue you and get stuck in this dark smelly hole of a place. What the hell gives?"

"Valandra?" Future Spike groped for a light switch. "Why Kitten you followed me. I'm real moved."

"I'd follow ya into hell baby." The Sethonian sniffed disapprovingly. "But did it have to smell this funky, smells like one of those damned sewers we used to have to crash in. Where the hell are we Spike?"

"It didn't smell that bad till the man in black 'ere smoked all my fags." Present Spike was trying hard to keep his temper. "An' you try keepin' a room with no windows ventilated. It's not my fault it's a bit iffie in 'ere."

"Huh?"

"Now now mate no need to be like that Val does 'ave a point." Still looking for the light switch future Spike's voice rose a little. "An will you please turn me the bleedin' light on as this is your gaffe!"

"Spike!" Valandra looked round in the pitch blackness. She couldn't even see shadows despite the eyesight advantages that being a vampress gave her. "Why are you talking back at yourself like that. Have you gone crazy on me?"

"No luv I've not but somethin' very strange 'as 'appened." The lights went on and Spike smiled at his main squeeze of nearly eight hundred years standing. "We've fallen through a wormhole in the Space time continuum and gone back to 2027, earth standard, and to the gaffe of yours truly back then. Princess Valandra of Guerza meet past Spike."