Christmas Mate

It didn't take long for Angel to find release, he was so worked up that just the feeling of William erupting inside him took him over the edge. Seconds later he slumped down, exhausted and sated. He rolled away from William, lying with his back to him.

Their minds had merged as violently as their bodies, and whether by design or instinct, Angel had focused him ... helped him quickly reach release where otherwise, he could have been in for a long and torturous bout of uncontrollable sexual need.

Flooded with mixed feelings, William rolled to his side and faced Angel's forbidding back. Stroking his side, he spoke in a low voice, still catching his breath. "I'm sorry. This wasn't how I wanted our first time to be." He swallowed. "You're an artist... you wanted it to be beautiful, I wanted to give you that. But..." Getting up on his elbow, he looked over Angel's shoulder at his face. "Please don't hold this against me."

"You don´t understand."

He was beginning to shake, horrified by his violent outburst. He had hurt that woman, he had thrown William down and forced himself on him. He´d thought he´d changed, he´d thought he´d become a better person but he was the same monster he´d always been. "I´m sorry."

"For what?" He stroked him again, "look at me Angel-luv. It wasn't you, it was me." Dropping his head down, he kissed the side of his lover's neck. "I'll never forget that you came... even though you... it's not what you want."

"What? Didn’t you see?" Angel refused to meet Spike’s eyes. He’d lost control and that was unforgivable. "What I did? Didn’t you see? That woman, I could have really hurt her."

"Allred? No, she'll understand. It's not you, it's the bond. If I hadn't lived with these cycles all my life... if I didn't know how important it was for you to volun... I was close to forcing you, Angel-luv... and it had nothing to do with what I wanted in my heart, or what I'd choose. She's well versed in the ways of warriors and bonds. I'm sure you'll get along just fine." He moved his mouth back and forth over Angel's upper arms, enjoying the flexing muscles that spoke of strength. "Look at me. Tell me we haven't taken two steps back."

"You don´t understand," Angel repeated, "This happened before. I hurt someone, I just slammed him against the wall, invaded his mind. I nearly drove him insane just because I was jealous." He looked at William, eyes full of sadness and remorse. "I thought I´d changed but it nearly happened again."

William was just glad he'd turned round and could look at him. "I don't know what happened in that instance, but today... today it wasn't you, it was the bond. If I'd found you with someone else ... in that state..." Even imagining Angel under anyone else sent rage pulsing through his system. "I don't think they'd be in any condition to walk. Under the circumstances, you were very restrained."

He dropped a kiss on that worried mouth. Then another on each worried eye. "Do you want to tell me about it?" A part of him felt like he was on the cusp of discovering why Angel was so closed off.

"She told me he was perfect," he said. "She said he took care of her better than I ever did. I was different then. I went clubbing a lot, got drunk and high. I was having fun. I thought she was having fun with me. Why am I telling you this?" Angel was confused, unsure why he was so open with William. He´d told Cordelia of course, she had been the one to help put him back together after what had happened but she was the only person who knew.

William frowned. "More importantly, why was she telling you this?" He had his opinions, but kept them to himself. "Go on... go on Angel, trust me."

"She was going to leave me," Angel explained. "For him. Because he was better and richer and more important. She just stood there, grinning, and told me she was leaving me for this perfect guy." He sounded as bewildered as he did back then, standing in front of the woman he thought was the love of his life and hearing the words echo in his head. "I went out, got drunk. I was so jealous and angry. I couldn´t... I couldn´t control myself. Then he showed up with some friends of his. They were talking and laughing. I thought they were laughing at me, at the poor idiot who screwed up his chance."

"Mmm." He could see the scene play out in his mind, see the train wreck coming. "You were young, and drunk... it wasn't intentional. She provoked you into it."

"I was still the one who hurt that guy. He hadn´t done anything to me, he was just better than me. I attacked him, I punched him til he could hardly stand up and then I invaded his mind." Angel closed his eyes against the guilt that flowed through him. "The worst thing is...all I could find was love. He loved her, he really did."

William pulled him into his arms and held him tight. "You made a mistake. You've paid for it, now let it go. Apologize to him if you need to, but let it go... it's done.." Unable to bear the pain etched in Angel's features, he bent his head and gave him an upside down kiss, his upper lip rubbing against Angel's lower lip. At the same time, he opened himself up and tried to find their link... to share Angel's burden.

Angel lost himself in that kiss, he´d dropped all his defenses already and William had found his way in. It was too late to bring back the walls. Suddenly William was there, in him, around him. Angel could actually feel how much his mate cared for him.

They kissed and kissed, and William was in heaven. Something had changed... Angel was no longer fighting him, fighting this. "That's it, baby," he lifted his head. "We should probably dress before the students get back ... I don't suppose you want to get back to the party, I'm sure there will be clapping to look forward to."

"Students..." Angel was puzzled for a moment. He looked around the room, only then noticing that it seemed very much lived-in with books piled haphazardly on the desk and an exercise mat set out under the window. "Oh...yeah, we should go."

Perhaps his mate hadn't listened too well... he took exception to the cheers that greeted them when they returned to the party and decided to leave there and. then. That lead to loud speculations about William being in heat, or jokes about Angel having caught the syndrome. It took quite a bit of one on one time for William to get Angel thawed out again... but the effort was more than worth it.

*

Allred knocked and walked into Angel's apartment. Seeing him at his desk drawing, she gave him a bleak smile. "I bring news of your tenth present. The Captain has given your friend Cordelia Chase a position on the ship so that you won't be lonely during long trips."

He looked up when the door opened, no longer surprised when random minions came waltzing in. Still, he couldn´t get mad at this one, not after the way he´d hurt her before.

He smiled, imagining the scene between William and Cordy. He hoped his mate had protective ear mufflers on because when Cordy squeed there was a distinct possibility that your eardrums would break. Only William would think to give him his best friend as a present. This was the first present that Angel had no compulsions accepting, Cordelia was his best friend and having her with him would make leaving his home that much easier.

Allred walked to his shelves, looked at the books and turned. "It must be difficult for you to give up your whole life and dreams to follow him where he goes. And to have had no choice in the matter...." She shook her head. "There is... one lesser known way to break the mating bond once you're selected. A ritual. I thought you should know."

"Why are you telling me this?" Angel asked evenly.

"Well," she bit her lip. "Everyone's already calling you the 'Reluctant Mate.' But to be quite honest... it's because I heard the Captain say this was a mistake. I care about him, we all do. And if this is wrong and he won't do what's necessary to save himself and you, then it's only fair you should be told. I mean, if you walk into it with your eyes open as to your options, that's one thing. But if you're not interested," she shrugged her slim, uniformed shoulders, "then we'll celebrate the bonding ceremony in two days. You know nothing but death can break the bind after that."

"A mistake," he repeated softly. He nodded. Of course, a mistake. William had seen who he really was. He looked at the woman. Was it his imagination or did she flinch under his gaze? Still, it didn’t matter, William knew him now and it was all over.

"Leave the details on my desk."

Angel went towards his meditation spot. He needed the walls.

"Of course. I am sorry," she whispered, dropping the document on his desk. It was an ancient ritual that required a strong psychic. It was outlawed, because of the risks to warriors... it could release them but impair their ability to ever connect with anyone else. This meant as they got older, they might suffer during their heat cyles or have to be sequestered... and some careers were out of the question, but she thought a skillful psychic could avoid this result. "Good luck... in finding your right warrior," she said, stepping out and closing the door behind her.

He concentrated on his exercises, going through set after set until he was too tired to think about anything. William was right, this was a mistake. He couldn´t saddle anyone with a monster like himself, especially someone like William who could achieve anything he wanted.

Having made his decision, he went back to his desk. He had to study the ritual.

A short while later, William arrived. He'd moved to a closer hotel, in the event he was gripped by the heat again, but surprisingly he'd been free of the condition. All he could think about was that his mate was one powerful psychic and had centered him for far longer than most could. For once, he was earlier than the designated hour, but he'd wanted... no needed to see Angel.

In a few steps, he crossed the room, leaned over with his palms on the table, and landed a heated kiss on his mate's mouth. "Needed to see you, Angel-luv," he explained his early presence. "Two more days..."

Angel pulled back, retreating until William couldn´t reach him. He hadn´t expected a visit, he wasn´t prepared for this!

"Why are you here?"

"Because I missed you. And because there is an art festival on the beach... thought we could go. Unless you'd rather stay and..." He glanced the bed, then back at Angel's stony features. His own face fell. "Are we back to this, now?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Angel hedged, reaching out to take the pages containing the ritual. William would feel honour bound to go ahead with the ceremony.

"I'm talking about you, looking at me, like I'm a stranger or an inconvenience," he countered, pulling the document out of Angel's hand. "Do I need to take you to bed and re-introduce myself?" His gaze was firmly locked on Angel's lips, as if he was about to make good on the threat.

"You should go." Angel stepped forward and tried to grab the papers from William's hand. He couldn't stand for William to touch him, not now that he knew what his mate really thought.

William moved his hand away and glanced at the papers as he tossed them on the table. In a fraction of a second, he knew its contents. For the first time, he was filled with fury at his mate. Palm on Angel's chest, he strode forward, pushing him up against the wall. "You would do this? You hate this... me so much... you would cripple me to get out of it?" They weren't questions so much as scathing comments on Angel's malicious intent.


"You're the one who thought I was a mistake!" Angel protested but he was summarily ignored.

"You're a much better actor than I thought... yesterday.... I thought we..." his jaw pulsed. "You said you were sorry about your psychic attack on that man, and yet you planned this. Angel Carrigan, I may have no choice but to love you, but if you try this on me, you will taste a warrior's punishment."

"You think that I would hurt you. That I would do that again." There it was, evidence that she'd been right. For William this was a mistake, something he had to do because of the rules and his honour. A vein throbbed in Angel's forehead but he kept his voice even. "I haven't had a chance to read that yet. If it will hurt you...I'll find another way."

"You haven't read..." William gave a bitter laugh. "You don't find banned rituals without looking for them. You WLL NOT use it on me, period." Releasing him, he turned away. "This was a mistake... courting you. I should have done what my brother did. Taken you to my ship, made you mine before these... these odd notions invaded your brain. But no... I wanted to give you time, mostly because YOU asked it of me. I thought I was doing you... us... a favor." He turned, angry betrayed eyes to Angel. "I am moving the binding ceremony up to tonight."

The false accusations finally made Angel lose his temper. "I didn't go looking for it!" he yelled, "Your assistant told me you wanted to be rid of me, I was only trying to give you what you wanted." He was breathing harshly, shocked at his own outburst. "I should go," he said, gathering himself under control once more.

"Wait!" William snapped the order, and physically turned Angel around to face him. "Who gave you this. And what do you mean it's what I wanted. I have been very clear about what I want. You. If you don't know it, then use the bloody link and find me... find my thoughts. Do it."

"You said this was a mistake," Angel replied, "You don't have to pretend, she told me."

"I don't pretend, least of all with my mate," he countered, putting a few things together in his head. His assistant... "Do you mean Allred? Trisha? She may believe this is a mistake, but that has nothing to do with my thoughts on the subject. You must have mistaken what she said. But to get that... that..." his gaze dropped to the offending papers. "Burn it. And be ready and at Malibu Point for the binding ceremony at seven tonight. If you're not there... I will send my entire crew after you, I mean it."

Turning on his heels, he headed for the door. Before he had a chance to walk out, Angel moved, grabbing him by the arm and turning him around.

"You said this was a mistake," he repeated, looking straight into William's eyes. "She gave me the papers and told me you wouldn't back out of the ritual because of honour. I would not hurt you, not like that, not if I could help it."

"I don't make mistakes." His gaze didn't waver. "You already did, but I'll get over it. Remember... seven." He looked down at Angel's hand on his arm, and when his mate released him, walked out.

"Well....that went well," Angel muttered to himself.

* * *

Angel walked through the hotel lobby, ignoring the strange looks he got as he passed, dragging the blonde behind him. He’d had a fairly enlightening conversation with Cordelia after William had left, in which the words “Grab the bitch and make her explain to the idiot,” were repeatedly mentioned. So, having worked himself up to righteous anger, Angel did grab the bitch and he was now on his way to making her explain to the idiot.

He slammed William’s door open, only taking a second to think that he was getting into the habit of slamming into rooms his mate was in, and pushed Allred into the room. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her, ignoring the little voice that begged him to get himself back in control. This was not about control, this was about getting William to see the truth.

“He’s going to see it anyway,” he growled when she hesitated, “I’m showing him so you might as well tell him yourself.”

“What is going on here,” William demanded as he walked into the living room area of his suite. He was almost dressed for the ceremony, but appeared to be grim rather than looking forward to it as he had in days past.

His gaze traveled from his mate to Allred. “You’re early. What is the meaning of this?” He half expected Angel to find yet another way to avoid the inevitable.

“Cordy asked me to tell you that you are an idiot. How many times did I have to say that I wasn’t the one researching the ritual before you understood it, huh? Did I ever act like I would cause you harm in any way? I stonewalled, yelled, pushed and denied you but did I ever hurt you?” Angel demanded, voice rising as he remembered why he’d been so angry in the first place. He felt Allred move behind him. “Don’t even think about leaving,” he said, voice low and even.

“You missed the point,” William said flatly. “You want out of this badly enough to violate laws and... there’s no point in this discussion. It is at an end. Allred?” He easily read the signs of guilt on her face. His mouth tightened. “Why?”

“Because you deserve better... because you should have picked me. I’ve been with you for years... it’s me you turn to when you’re in heat ... me you look to when...”

“Silence.” William touched the collar of his dress uniform jacket, triggering the transmittal device sown within its folds. He snapped an order.

A minute later, a group of his officers knocked, entered and arrested Allred, who was clinging to Angel. “Leave him be,” William’s tone brooked no disobedience. In silence, he watched Allred get dragged for the second time this evening.

Angel remained silent, watching William intently. They had a little time before the ceremony was about to start and still William refused to see the truth. Had he hid what he felt for the man that well? Maybe Cordelia was right calling both of them idiots.

“There. That’s done. Kindly tell your Cordelia that calling a Captain of a ship, one on which she’s been given a position, an idiot, is unseemly.”

“I can tell her but she’ll ignore me,” Angel said quietly. “She called me an idiot too, if it helps.”

He didn’t take his eyes off William, following every movement the other man made. “Come here.”

“I’m not quite ready.” William felt a certain vibe from his mate, but was afraid to put a name to it. For someone who didn’t make mistakes, his earlier assumptions about his mate had been very wrong.

"William, please, I need to show you."

It was hard for Angel to say the words but he knew there was no other way to convince William of what had really happened. Angel had stopped hiding and William had to know that before the ceremony.

Two long strides, and he was in front of Angel, watching him. Waiting. “You can tell me anything. Show me anything.” How much did it take to make Angel believe and accept? Trust? “I am not that woman, Darla.” He’d dug deeper into Angel’s past and found the name of the person responsible for taking his smile away.

“Shh, let me show you." Angel took William's hands in his and used his mate to ground himself. He found the link and pushed his feelings through, everything that had passed through his mind and his heart as Allred spoke.

When he was done he took one step back and looked at William, searching his eyes for a reaction.

Of course he’d had a clear picture before of what had transpired between his mate and Allred, but one thing he hadn’t known was his mate’s feelings. Angel had shown him his confusion, grief at the thought William wasn’t satisfied but would go through with the ceremony.

“Cordelia is right. About you,” a small smile escaped William who took Angel’s hands in his. “My turn.” Not as adept as his psychic mate, he fought to find the link... and was surprised at how quickly he did. Angel was either helping or had left his mind open to him. The thought had William’s heart pounding.

Never taking his gaze off Angel’s face, he showed him how long he’d been fascinated by the pictures he had of Angel, how he’d fantasized about him long before he was sure that Angel was ‘the right one.’ Then he showed him the deep satisfaction he’d felt upon finding that Angel in the flesh was ten times better than in his imagination. The man made him happy, without knowing it, made him laugh when he was probably trying to anger him, and was everything William could hope for in a mate... handsome beyond words, strong, somewhat mysterious, intelligent... and when he smiled...

He let go. “I love you, Angel. If I weren’t a warrior, and you my psychic mate, I would love you still.”

"Oh." He blushed as he realised that he had nothing else to say. Just "oh". Cordelia would kill him if she knew. "I mean, I...you know how I feel, right? I don't have to...I could if I..." Angel lapsed into silence, heart pounding as he tried to understand all the feelings that had come through the bond.

He couldn’t expect Angel to change overnight... he didn’t. Grinning, William moved closer and ran his hand over Angel’s chest, lingering over his nipple. “I think I might be able to guess, I mean... if you were to wear the rings I gave you, all three... I’d have a hard time misunderstanding. I mean, only love could make a conservative man like you wear them for a randy warrior like me.” His voice went soft and husky, as he leaned forward so his mouth hovered over Angel’s as he spoke.

"That's emotional blackmail," Angel replied smiling in amusement. "I'll do it, but I won't tell you when." His smile turned into a smirk, "Think about it William," he whispered against his mate's ear, "You come home one random day, you'll hug me and then you'll feel them, won't you? Pressed against you, all for you to play with. Just for you."

He laughed at the look on William's face and stepped back. "But for now, you'll have to settle for getting mated."

William blew out a breath of air. “If you’re not careful, you’re going to make us late... or bring on another episode... my cycle isn’t over,” he reminded him.

He might have said more, but there was a firm knock on the door and voice called out. “Sir, Angel is not on his way to Malibu Point and isn’t at his apartment. Shall we... scour the planet?”

His lips quirked, and he looked at Angel. “I don’t think that’s necessary, do you?”


* * *

The ceremony had been breathtaking, on the cliffs of Malibu, with the red skies reflected in the ocean as the sun came down. There were fewer guests than originally anticipated, but that was to be expected since the day of the ceremony had been moved at the eleventh hour.

They’d made love all night. Love, not sex. Sex would come too, his heat cycle wasn’t over yet, but somehow Angel was keeping it in check.

Now the morning light streamed into the suit. Having kissed Angel awake, William sat up and openly admired his mate’s body, starting from his sensuous lips, down the strong lines of his jaw, his throat... broad shoulders...

Angel shifted, still a little uncomfortable at the frank perusal.

"Where's my present?" he asked, only partly trying to distract William. "It's the twelfth day, I should get one more present."

"Present? Oh..." now William was tracing the lines of Angel's abdominal muscles, remembering how hard their bodies came together at night. "I gave it to you early. Don't tell me you didn't notice."

"Notice what exactly?" Angel's voice came out husky and low, affected by William's touch. He shifted his body again, this time not in nervousness but chasing after more of William's hands on his skin.

"Me. All of me, was your present. Should I have worn a bow?" Lowering his head he skimmed his mouth over the indentation down Angel's chest. As he went lower, he picked his head up and stopped to admire Angel's cock.

"That....that would have helped," Angel stammered. "If you keep doing that though," he gasped as William licked the head of his cock, "I'll forgive you." The sensation didn't return though, prompting Angel to look down. "You know you're not supposed to just look at it, right?"

"You very well endowed." William touched him again, teasing him with a light touch of his tongue and watching grow bigger under his touch. "And you're very lucky."

Raising his eyes, he met Angel's gaze.

"Am I now?" Angel asked, sounding about as self satisfied as he looked, "And why would that be?"

"I have no gag reflex," the Captain answered, letting the words sink in before he took Angel... all of Angel... into his mouth.

"Oh...OH!" Angel´s eyes widened as William proved his claim. "Should have known," he gasped, "that it´d be about, oh God, you."

The End

THIS WAS OUR FIRST EVER SPANGEL, SO PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO LET US KNOW WHETHER YOU ENJOYED THIS FIC.

Also, is anyone interested in more mate-verse stories with other pairing? We are considering a Liam/Wesley.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

William's Twelve Gifts To Angel

One - lube on a string! HEE!
Two - Nekkid and clothed William pics
Three - Documentary on why psychics picked by warriors are damn lucky
Four - art supplies
Five - dirty serenade/poem
Six - Ettiquette book on how to take care of your warrior
Seven - classes w/ some psychic that is impossible to book
Eight - nipple rings and wedding band plus appointment for piercing.
Nine - a small book of poems that William pens while he is away on his mission, and it tells about how much he missed angel even for a few days
Ten - Cordy!
Eleven - full set of edible body art (not shown)
Twelve - WILLIAM!