To Fall Apart and Fall Back Together

Xander didn’t know what to say, which was a surprise in itself because it seemed to happen so rarely. He couldn’t even think of a joke or a pun or a witty comment that could break the moment, and that was what he was best at. She was lying on top of him, all of her weight pressed into his body, her arms around his neck, and all he could do is stare at her. Was he dreaming? It certainly felt like it, because this could never happen in real life, not ever. She was way too smart for this. He was destined to live his life alone and in pain, just like he had always planned, so this couldn’t be real.

But just to be sure, he reached one hand to her face just a couple of inches away. He touched her hair, hanging in short curtains around her face, the strands soft and silky to the touch, and he felt the corners of his mouth tug up into a smile as he felt himself release a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“You look confused,” she told him, a tender smile on her face.

“I always look confused,” he said, the same smile looking back at her.

“Well, yeah,” she allowed. “But…more so.”

“But…” he said, “Weren’t we arguing a couple of minutes ago?”

“Yeah, and…?”

“Just trying to piece together how we got from there…to here…” he said slowly.

“Does it really matter?”

He smiled, a real and true smile, as he held her tightly to him and used his weight to roll her over onto her back, him on his side next to her. He gently shifted her a little, resting her head on one of the pillows at the head of the bed. His hand was caught beneath her weight, warm against her skin, and the other rested on her stomach as he looked down at her.

“You lied?” he asked her, his voice quiet and breaking with tension.

“Yeah,” she said softly.

“But what about Oz?” he asked. “I thought you wanted to make things right with him.”

“I don’t love him,” she said. “I wanted to, I really did, but as much as I’ve tried and hoped it would happen, I can’t, because my heart belongs to someone else. I’ve been close to it, but it’s just not there, not like what I feel for you.”

“He loves you,” Xander told her.

“Yeah, keep on making me feel better, Xand,” she said dryly.

“Sorry,” he said with a shrug.

“I feel bad for hurting him,” she continued, “but if it’s a choice between you and him…I’m not going anywhere. You were right,” she told him.

He gave a wide grin. “Really?” he asked. “I’m right? Can I get that in writing? It might be the only time it ever happens.” She grinned at him, and a blank expression came over his face. “Wait…about what?”

“What you said,” she told him. “About me being a coward.”

“What?” he said. “No, Will, I didn’t mean that. You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met, and that includes the vampire slayers. I was just angry.”

“You may have been angry, but it was still true,” she said. “I’ve been so mad at you, you know. I thought you were just being Horny Guy and I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Or the right place at the right time,” he corrected.

“Well, yeah, we know that now,” she said with a grin, “But I never did consider that you had feelings for me. I should have had more faith in you. I should have known you wouldn’t just throw everything away because you were curious after thirteen years of friendship, or for a fumble with someone who didn’t mean anything. I should have known that you wouldn’t do that to yourself, and you wouldn’t do that to me. When you said that you…”

“Loved you?” he offered with a grin as her face blushed red, and he let out a chuckle.

“Yeah,” she said, her eyes flickering away from him. “It was like it wasn’t real. My feelings for you were always kind of…unrequited, you know? But that feeling was familiar, and I knew exactly where I stood with that. Knowing that you…”

“Love you?” he offered again, and once more came the adorable blush.

“Yeah,” she repeated, “You’re right, there’s nothing else left to hide behind.”

“Do you want to hide from it?” he asked her.

She looked over his face, took in the dark brown eyes that made her feel like she might melt if he kept looking at her like that, and the smile that she had known forever. “No,” she told him, her voice almost a whisper as she brushed a lock of hair from his forehead. “I don’t”

“Good,” he said, leaning forward and kissing her forehead gently. “And it’s not like you were entirely wrong, either,” he told her. “I haven’t exactly been Mr. ‘Here’s-How-I’m-Feeling’. But you have to know that the reason why we haven’t talked about what happened is because…I know how happy you were with Oz. I knew that we had done something terrible, but I thought if I stayed away, you could have that with him again.”

“You didn’t think I’d want to know how you felt?” she asked.

“I didn’t think it would matter,” he said sadly. “I didn’t want you to know, because I didn’t want your pity, and I didn’t want to risk our friendship after so long. You know that’s the most important thing in the world to me, and I thought that just leaving things be would make it go away. If you hadn’t come over here tonight, I never would have told you.”

“Well, then, it’s a good thing that I did,” she said with a smile. “So, what do we do now?”

Xander’s eyebrows rose immediately, a look on his face that said exactly what was running through his mind at that moment.

“Xander!” she warned lightly with a laugh, her hand tapping his arm gently.

“What?” he asked incredulously. “You say something like that to an eighteen year old guy and you expect them to not think about sex? I thought you were the smart one.”

“I mean…” she said, “You and me… Is this what you want?”

He smiled a trademark half-smile, his hand gently tucking a piece of hair behind her ears so he could see her properly. “It really, really is,” he said honestly. “But you and me together…for real…would that work?”

“Do you think I have a crystal ball?”

“You do have a crystal ball,” he said. “I bought it for your last birthday.”

“Well…okay,” she allowed, “But what I mean is, I can’t see into the future, Xander. I can’t tell you that things are going to be okay, that they’ll work out and we’ll live happily ever after. I wish I could. It doesn’t mean we can’t try.”

“But we’re going to hurt people,” he told her. “Oz, Cordelia…we’ve already put them through so much, but if we actually decided to give this a shot…”

“Then at least they’d know we didn’t hurt them for nothing,” Willow argued. “I’m sick of being the good girl who worries about everyone else and their feelings. I want to do something for me, Xander. I just want to be happy.”

“You think I’ll make you happy?” he asked, a smile on his face and his finger caressing her cheek gently.

She didn’t reply. She just smiled, one hand moving to touch his cheek with tenderness as she leaned up, her lips touching his softly. She pulled back, checking his eyes for any sign of regret or confusion, but there wasn’t any. Her fingers moved over the skin of his cheek, trembling just a little.

She pulled him down to her, his hand moving to rest on the bare skin at her hip where the shirt had ridden up just a little, his fingers grazing over it and finding it softer than he had ever dreamt it could be. He felt her hand move from his cheek down to his shoulder, then to his chest, resting over his sweater.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, looking down at her sincerely. “Ever.”

“You won’t,” she said. “You can’t.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“About this more than anything,” she told him.

He grinned, his arm moving up her side, his hand smoothing over the cotton shirt softly. He brushed over a hint of the curve of her breast, feeling the indent of the her bra underneath unintentionally, and it sent an illicit thrill through his body. He moved his face closer to hers, eyes taking in her face.

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” he told her. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Well, finally,” she said with a smirk. “I’ve been waiting all night.”

He smiled again, his eyes crinkling in the most adorable way, as he lowered his head to hers, nose by nose with her, her warm breath washing over his face and making his heart race even more than it had been already.

“Our first real kiss as an actual couple,” Willow said quietly. “Are you excited?”

He squirmed a little, trying to hide exactly that. “More than you’d care to know,” he told her.

He moved his hand from her side, bringing it up to brush away some hair that had fallen across her cheek. He tucked it behind her ears, his fingers caressing the strands, the feeling familiar yet exciting. He moved his finger to her chin, tilting it lightly to allow him better access to those sweet lips, her tongue running over them nervously and wetting them in anticipation of him.

When his lips met hers, it felt right. It felt special, in the best way, because before when they had kissed, it was illicit and secret and they were cheating on other people. But now…it just felt like things were falling into place, and that made something warm well up in his stomach. His lips left hers, just momentarily, touching them back again to her top lip, and then her bottom one.

She parted her lips, just slightly, just enough so that he could feel the warm pinkness inside, could almost see it behind his closed eyes as he kissed her lips again. Her top lip was caught between both of his, and he heard and felt a tiny sigh escape her.

She was the one who deepened the kiss, opening her mouth just that little bit wider. It wasn’t their first kiss, but this was what they had been waiting for all of this time. She felt his hand moving from her chin to the side of her head, the tips of his fingers lost in her hair, the warmth of his touch penetrating her skin to make her cheek blush a bright red just from his contact, and she felt her fingers closing around a handful of his sweater to pull him closer still.

His touch was soft, which seemed strange when the situation felt so intense. She could feel half of his weight on her, pressing against her body and taking her breath away, but then, he did that anyway. He’d always had the ability to make her speechless, and to make her breathless, and to make her lose herself with just one look into his eyes, and she honestly couldn’t see that ever changing.

His fingertips lightly stroked at her skin, massaging the curve of her cheek, around the bottom of her ear, and along her hairline. It sent shivers through her, and she opened her mouth a little wider, the tip of her tongue sneaking out just a little to taste him. She tilted her head as his tongue met hers, soft and stroking against one another. They duelled together lightly in the warmth of their joined lips, this kiss something she’ll never ever forget, although she was pretty certain that she’ll remember every single kiss with him.

She felt his hand move from her face down to her hip again, gripping her there, as he finally disengaged his lips from hers, more for the need of oxygen than anything else.

He looked down at her, eyes lit up with a smile that spread all over his face. “That was…”

“The way our first kiss should have been?” she asked.

“I was gonna go with ‘wow’, but your way is more poetic,” he told her. “And also true.”

“That’s how I always dreamed of you kissing me,” she told him.

“That’s how I always dreamed of kissing you,” he replied. “Not that I didn’t enjoy kissing you before…” he said hurriedly. “But it always made me feel guilty after, and we always had to go back to other people. This is just…right,” he told her. “You and me, no one else and nothing to feel guilty about. I like it.”

“I love it,” she said with a grin.

“I love you,” he told her, one fingertip lightly stroking an exposed spot of skin at her hip and looking at her with awe in his eyes. “Who would have thought that we’d end up together?”

“You mean apart from everyone we’ve ever met?” she asked incredulously.

“Yeah,” he said, “Apart from them.”

She laughed, “So, you wanna kiss me again?” she asked.

“Let me save us a little time here,” he said, “It doesn’t matter how many times you me ask that question, the answer is always gonna be yes.”

“Good to know,” she said as she looked at him expectantly with questioning eyes.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“Waiting…” she said in a singsong voice.

“Oh, right!” he exclaimed in realisation, his lips swooping down to meet hers.

It was soft and it was gentle and it was hot and it was passion, it was everything all rolled into one kiss. It was something that Xander had never really experienced before, a kiss with someone he was in love with. With Cordelia it was all lust and hurried, and before with Willow was hot and forbidden, but this was new. It was love, of that he was in no doubt.

They parted, and all he could do was look at her, which was good because he loved doing that. His arms came around her, holding her to him, letting her nestle in his shoulder and his neck, her breath hot on his skin, making him feel like she was the one who’d always kept him warm, even in the darkest days of his life. It felt like all he’d ever had to do was look at her, and nothing was could ever be bad, and he placed a kiss in her hair, just for that reason.

She lifted her head to him and their lips were together again, moving in a rhythm as their tongues danced softly inside. Their legs had become intertwined at some point, his right leg caught between both of hers, and his chest was half on top of her, with one of her breasts pressing against him with the rise and fall of their breathing. Perfectly matched kisses, rolling tongues, wetness for wetness inside their mouths, and Xander had to move himself so that she couldn’t feel just how…ahem, excited…he was by this moment.

She broke the kiss momentarily, looking at him questioningly but saying nothing as he just smiled down at her. One of his hands had been behind her, supporting his weight, but now it was starting to cramp, and he slid it behind her head as he sank down next to her. His head lying right next to hers, he found himself looking at one of her ears. Why? He didn’t really know, but it was Willow so it was sexy, and it was just there. The curve of the shell, the softness of the skin, the plumpness of the lobe… He began wondering to himself if it was weird that he was turned on by an ear, but mostly, he didn’t care.

She turned onto her side so they were face-to-face, nose-to nose, and she was smiling. He liked that she was smiling. He liked that he was the one making her smile. He grinned back at her, the hand that had been at her side moved to her back, resting just above her ass, and for a minute he was so tempted to move his fingers just a little farther down to that small curve and…

He mentally chastised himself. His relationship with Cordelia had been all about the physical, so he was hardly a stranger to lust, but he had never been so turned on as he was right now, and the tightening of his pants around the groin area was definitely making that obvious. Every single thing that Willow was doing was making him more and more uncomfortable – in a good way - and he thought it was probably a good idea to stop now. They were making out, which was something he never thought he’d be able to do with her again, so it was enough. Apparently certain parts of his anatomy didn’t seem to agree, though.

But the thing was? He couldn’t. He wanted to say he’d walk her home, that he had homework he probably should be doing, but she’d figure he was lying in a second. She knew he didn’t do homework, at least not at home, anyway. It was usually a ten-minutes-before-class kind of deal to him that he begged her help on. He needed a way to hide the hormones charging through his body, and he guessed that if she stayed, that wasn’t going to happen. But he couldn’t quite make himself say it. He wanted her to stay, forever if that was good with her, and if he had to be uncomfortable for all of eternity, he’d go with that.

Willow watched him with intensity. Years of Xander-watching informed her he was thinking about something, and thinking pretty hard if the narrowed eyes were anything to go by. She couldn’t believe she was here. She was on a bed, making out with Xander Harris! And not in a bad way this time. He was actually lying beside her, watching her and touching her, and she felt something liquid moving inside of her because of that.

During their previous kiss, which had been another stunner, by the way, he had pulled away from her. When she had looked at him, she had wondered why, but she had guessed it was something to do with what she had felt pressing into her leg from his groin area. She could feel her cheeks reddening. Just over a year ago, she could barely say the word ‘date’ and now she was thinking about him being…aroused…and how it would feel if she just reached down and… Did that make her a slut or something?

She didn’t actually care, she was just curious. Was it wrong to think about being with him in that way when they had only just decided that they should be together? He was obviously very happy with the situation, and she had to admit she felt a certain…stirring…that she hadn’t really experienced before. She had always wanted her first time to be with him, without question, even when she was dating Oz, but was it something he wanted too? Suddenly she felt self-conscious. He had dated Cordelia Chase, the girl all the guys at school wanted, the girl with killer looks and a body to match. Had they ever…?

“Xan?” she asked quietly, her voice soft and shy and for a second he almost see those long curtains of red hair that she used to hide behind so much not so long ago. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Uh, sure,” he told her, concerned.

“Did you and Cordelia ever…?” she asked, then ducked her head so he couldn’t see the blush rising in her cheeks. “I mean, I know it’s none of my business, but you guys were pretty… I was just wondering if you had ever—”

“The answer you’re looking for is no,” he told her gently, moving to take her hand with his free one, and intertwining their fingers.

“Why not?” she asked.

“It…” he started. “It just wasn’t right,” he told her. “I wanted my first time to be with someone who meant the world to me, someone I loved, and she wasn’t that person. I realise this may be hurting my image as a hormonally-charged teenager, but I just wanted it to be right. It sounds weird, but somehow, even before you and I…fluked…I always thought it would be you I shared that with.”

“So, you’re telling me if she had wanted to,” she started, “You would have said no?” she asked. “Or, if you and Cordy weren’t together, what if Faith just kinda…well, I don’t wanna say ‘threw herself at you’… Actually, I do want to say ‘threw herself at you’…you wouldn’t be tempted?”

“I said I was weird, I didn’t say I was stupid,” he said. “Cordelia did want to. I just…didn’t. And let’s face it, me and Faith? Like that would ever happen. She’s more into the leather and biker kinda deal than the inexperienced and has-to-borrow-his-parents-car kinda deal. What about you and Oz?” he asked.

She shook her head, “No,” she said. “But I think you already knew that,” she told him, watching as he nodded, albeit a little shame-faced.

“Kind of,” he admitted. “But I had to hear you say it.”

She leant in and kissed him again, her mouth opening up to his and inviting him in as she broke their entwined hands and slid her arm around his waist, slipping her hand under his sweater in the process and feeling the toned body underneath. She wasn’t doing anything as obvious as groping him, but just running her hand over his side, the skin goose-bumping under her fingers.

They were still kissing, still going strong, when his hand moved, slipping under her shirt at the small of her back. His thumb began a circling pattern at the point where her spine curved inwards, and she felt a heated breath escape her because of it.

He pulled away from her again, squirming in a way that looked uncomfortable to her, and clearing his throat nervously. “Maybe we should, uh—”

“No,” was her only word as she attached her lips to his lips again, pulling herself up on the arm that was resting beside her, using her weight to push him flat on his back so she was elevated next to him. She kissed him, hard, making it wetter and hotter and making their tongues move quicker to out-do one another.

The hand that had been on his hip moved a little further up, smoothing over his stomach and feeling the muscles underneath the skin, over his ribs and up to his chest. She could feel his hand pressing against her still, no longer making circles but just digging into her in a way that made her belly flip and her heart race, and she let him go, just briefly, while she took in a breath of fresh air, just to make sure she still could because this felt like what she always thought heaven should be.

“I think we should stop,” he said suddenly, rolling away from her to sit on the edge of the bed, away from temptation. He tore his eyes away from her, because just looking at her made the hardness in his trousers almost hurt.

“What?” she asked, red-faced and voice husky, breathing hard. “Why?”

“Because things are getting a little…” he glanced down at himself in what he hoped was an inconspicuous way, “…Heated,” he said. “And while I love being with you like this…certain parts of me want more.” He looked behind him to where she was sitting, propped up on one arm with an expression that he couldn’t read, and he looked away again. “Hi, and welcome back to the ‘Top Ten Ways to Scare Away Someone You Just Said ‘I Love You’ To’,” he said in a fake, gameshow host voice that he had developed after too much time spent watching ‘Wheel of Fortune’, “and our number one tip, come on too strong and freak them out beyond all measure, ensuring they never come near you again and that you’ll die alone without ever knowing the love of a woman.” He shook his head, looking back at her. “I’m sorry, Will.”

He turned back around, not waiting to see her reaction which he was sure was going to be one of disgust, possibly with something like ‘Xander, you’re a great big pervert who only thinks about one thing’ thrown in, maybe with a slap, just for good measure. Because of that, he didn’t see the smile that was starting to form on her face. He didn’t see the way she was looking at him, something in her eyes that no one except him had ever seen – desire. It was strong, and it was great, and it was only him she had ever felt it for before, and she was pretty sure it was always going to be him.

He didn’t see her pushing her hair back from her face with a deep breath, her hands shaking as she pulled her legs up beneath her and knelt on the bed. He didn’t see her use her hands and knees to crawl the short distance between them until she was right behind him.

He did feel her hands coming around him, though. He felt them on his shoulders, the touch so light it would have been hard to believe there was even anyone there if it hadn’t been for the fact that he could feel her knees, one at either side of his hips. Her hands ran down from his shoulders, pressing into him and sliding down to his chest and he felt her body pressing into his back. He felt her lips, soft and sweet, against his skin. Gentle kisses were being placed under his ear and on his neck, the tip of her tongue leaving a trail in its wake.

“What are we doing?” he asked her in an almost nonexistent voice, his breathing thick and fast.

“Remember that diagram in ninth grade?” she whispered in his ear, her mouth gently taking the lobe into her mouth and suckling lightly. He nodded, “That’s what we’re doing.”

“What?” he asked, quickly turning to face her, his eyes wide in surprise.

“Did you need me to explain it you?” she asked.

“No, it’s just…”

“Do you think I’m a horrible person?” she asked him.

“Why would I think that?” he asked back.

“Because of this…” she said, kissing his neck again briefly before looking up at him.

“Of the hundreds of things I’m thinking right now,” he informed her, “That really isn’t one of them. Wait, you’re not possessed or anything, are you?” he asked suspiciously. “No spells or chants or curses involved?”

“No,” she told him. “Just me. Do you think this is wrong?” she asked. “Do you think I’m, like, a slut or something?”

“I’d never think anything like that about you,” he told her. “And no, I don’t think it’s wrong. I mean, it feels right, but are you sure? This is kind of sudden.”

“Xander,” she said, looking into his eyes. “What would you say if I told you that I wanted you to be my first?”

“I’d say ‘someone wake me up because I’m having that dream again’,” he told her.

“I’m serious,” she told him softly, meaning nothing more. “I want you to be my first.”

“And again I ask, are we talking baseball here?” he asked dubiously.

“Not unless they’ve found a new way to play it.”

“Just checking,” he said. “Are we sure we want to do this?”

“Well, I can only speak for one of us…” she said.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he told her. “Because I really, really do…” He looked down at the bulge in his pants and squirmed uncomfortably again, the feeling quickly becoming more familiar than he cared to acknowledge, “…Obviously…” he added quietly. “I love you, Willow, but why do you want to do this with me?”

“Because I love you,” she said simply. “And because I want to know you again.”

“We don’t need to have sex for that to happen,” he assured her.

“Xander, we’ve lost so much over the past few years,” she explained, “and I hate that. But I want to know everything about you. Everything. I have to. I need to. I always thought it would be you I shared this with,” she said. “I want to do this.”

“It’s hardly the perfect time or place,” he said, looking around the room. “Shabby furniture, country music playing… It shouldn’t be like this with us. It shouldn’t be like this with you. You deserve so much more. It should be somewhere romantic, and special, and it should be magic. There are so many things that I’ve done to hurt you, whether I’ve meant to or not. There’s so much I haven’t given you. This is the one thing I want to do right.”

“Don’t you understand?” she asked him softly, a smile playing on her lips. “You already have. It doesn’t matter where we are, it’s always going to be special. It is romantic, and us together…it will be magic. It’ll be perfect. It couldn’t be anything else.”

“But this is going to change everything between us,” he said.

“It will,” she agreed. “But it’ll make them better.”

“This is a big step,” he told her. “One that needs consideration.”

“Xander,” she said slowly. “You are an eighteen year old guy who has a secret stash of dirty magazines under his bed. I want to do this with you, and you’re only concern is me and how I’m feeling. What does that say to you?”

“That I’m an idiot?”

“Apart from that,” she said, “It says that you’re more mature than you think you are. I know that I want this, but if you’re not ready—”

“I’m ready!” he exclaimed, startling her with the level of his voice. He took a moment, composed himself and tried again. “That may have come out a little louder than I expected, but I am ready for this. I just have to be sure that you are.”

She leant down to place another kiss on his neck, “I am,” she told him. She kissed his neck again, his skin slightly stubbled against her lips, and she breathed in a lungful of his scent. It was a mixture of the fabric softener on his clothes, of his soap and of deodorant. He didn’t really wear aftershave, which she kinda liked because he didn’t need it. Anything heady like that would just distract from this smell, how he always smelt, and she didn’t want that. She kissed him again, and again, and he tilted his chin to giver her better access to the spot just underneath there, too.

She used one of her hands to turn his face, needing to kiss him properly, to feel his lips and his mouth and his tongue. He responded in the best possible way, in the way she wanted him to, and she felt his hand coming up to the back of her head, pulling her closer and pressing their lips closer together.

He had never thought it was possible to want someone as much as he wanted her right now. He had seen the romance movies – against his own will, of course – and he had scoffed at the way couples were portrayed on screen, commenting that it was all full of crap – to which he had received numerous punches from his two best friends - but now he suddenly knew what it was all about. This was an entirely new experience for him, and he was loving every second of it.

Her hands ran down his chest, over his sweater and further down to find the bottom of the material. He felt her hands slip underneath, brushing lightly against the material of his jeans, dangerously close to the tightening in the crotch, although he wasn’t sure she was aware of it. Either way, he didn’t particularly care, especially when he felt her fingers tickling his stomach intentionally.

He broke away from her, laughing lightly, Willow doing the same and for a second he forgot the intensity of the situation, and just looked at her. Her chin was resting on his shoulder, just a breath away, and he had never seen anything so beautiful as her. Her hands were still running over his skin underneath his sweater, and he felt himself shiver as she began to pull the material up and up. She moved slowly, kissing his neck in a way that was just too damn sexy for words until she lifted it over his head, pulling it from his arms and throwing it somewhere across the other side of the room.

Her hair fell across his shoulder and he loved the feeling of it, silky and teasing across his skin. He turned his face to kiss her again, hardly believing this was happening, and he felt her body pressing into his back again, only now he could feel the softness of both of her breasts against his bare shoulder blades. His hand came up to tangle in those red tresses, and in one movement he had turned and stood, never breaking the embrace as she lifted herself on her knees to follow him.

He pulled back, watching her intently, watching her like he was afraid she’d disappear if he didn’t keep his eyes on her. She was on her knees on the bed, her hands on his shoulders to keep herself from toppling over, and his hands come to her cheeks, pulling her closer and lowering his head to kiss her. He made this one slow, he made it sexy, even though the situation was that already. The situation was that in spades.

His lips brushed over hers, and he felt her respond by her opening her mouth to pull him in deeper, but he wanted to wait. He pulled away, watching her closed eyes and face trying to follow him, and he went back for more. He brushed against them again, this time taking her top lip into his mouth and suckling gently on it. He felt her whimper into his mouth, and he smiled behind the kiss. His hands were still on her face, holding her firmly while hers came to his chest, running along his skin and across his stomach tantalisingly. His tongue darted out, just a little, to lick her lips, and she opened her mouth to let him in again, but he let her go, chuckling lightly to himself.

“It’s not nice to tease,” she murmured breathily, bringing her hands up to his face and pulling him to her. She took his mouth with her own, slowly letting her hands travel around his neck to make sure his body was against hers once more.

His hands found the bottom of her back, his current favourite place for them to be, although he was sure he’d find another soon enough, his knees bending just a little to allow himself better access to her. It was funny how deeply intense this situation was, but the kiss was slow and romantic and everything it was supposed to be. He moved his lips to her cheek, soft kisses placed there as he worked his way down to her neck. Along her jawline he continued, her chin automatically tilting up to give him better access, and down even further. He kissed the patch of skin that was exposed where her shirt opening was, and he felt her chest rising and falling heavily against his lips.

He reached down and took one of her hands, stepping back and encouraging her to follow. She swung one leg down onto the floor, the other after, and suddenly she was there, standing in front of him. He brought his hand to her face, leaning in to kiss her briefly, before he pulled back to look into her eyes.

His hand ran from her cheek to her neck, and one of his fingers touched the collar of the old shirt she was wearing. He ran his finger along it, the material soft and worn, until he reached the opening. His finger stayed just slightly under the seam of the material, running down until he reached the first button that had been fastened, and his eyes followed it down, catching just a glimpse of the white cotton bra she was wearing underneath. He had to close his eyes, just momentarily and take a deep breath, before he brought his eyes back to hers. She was biting down on her bottom lip, something he’d seen her do a million times, but this time it was more erotic than it had ever been before, and he grinned to himself, knowing that every single time she did that in the future, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from thinking of this moment.

He unfastened the first button, slowly, for many reasons. He wanted this experience to last, he knew that, and he wanted to be able to remember every single detail about it when he thought back on this night in the future. He wanted her to know that it was okay if she changed her mind. But when he looked into her eyes, all he saw there was this desire and passion that he knew he’d never be able to get out of his head.

His hand slipped down to the second button of the shirt, and he felt the back of his fingers brush against the soft material of her cotton bra, and he had to stop for just a second to take another deep breath and calm himself down because if he didn’t, this might be over before it had even really begun. The button came undone and his hand slipped down again, repeating the process on the remaining four or five buttons that were keeping him from her.

He leaned in to kiss her, lips moulding together like they were made to fit, tongues touching and rolling together as one of his hands rested against her cheek, and the other ran back up the seam of the shirt. The hand slipped underneath as it reached her shoulder, fingers lightly grazing her skin as the material tickled the back of his hand, and he slowly pushed the problem garment away. The shirt slipped over one of her shoulders, and his fingers found the thin strap of her bra. One tip pulled it to a side, and he moved his mouth from hers to touch his lips to that spot where her shoulder was exposed to him, and he felt the straining of his erection against the already-tight denim of his jeans.

Both of his hands found her neck, holding her gently, as his fingers ran trails down to her collarbone, right in the middle, and began to move outward. The shirt fell from her other shoulder, the material falling down her arms and he felt her shiver, though it was anything but cold, the temperature rising in the room and between the two of them. His hands found each of her arms, and with dip of his head he was kissing her neck as he slowly and gently pushed the shirt down her arms. He heard it fall to the floor with a soft whisper, and a soft sigh escaped her that made him smile against her skin. He felt her hands move to his head, fingers gently teasing locks of hair as she gently pulled him up so she could look at him again.

“We haven’t done this before,” she said quietly, “Do you think we’ll know what to do?”

“Well,” he said, his hands touching each of her bare shoulders, gently coaxing the one bra strap that was still sitting on one of them down to match the one at the other side. “Let’s just say that we’re going to have to take this really…really…slow,” he told her, a kiss on her lips with every word to emphasise his point. “Plus, I’ve seen a lot of movies…”

She laughed softly, “You know, you were doing really well up until then,” she informed him. “If I didn’t know already, it might have freaked me out.”

“You know everything about me,” he told her. “Although I’m not convinced that’s a good thing.”

“Not yet,” she said, her hands trailing over his chest and down over his stomach to find his belt buckle. “But after tonight I will.”

She pulled on the brown leather strap holding up his pants, unfastening it with shaking hands and pulling it from the tabs in his jeans. She held it between both her hands before she hooked it around the back of his neck. He grinned at her as she used it to pull him forward gently, a glint in her eyes that he couldn’t quite place, tilting her head so she could kiss his lips again. She let the belt go, dropping it to the ground as she found the buttons of his pants. She had to use both of her hands, use weak and trembling fingers to coax the stiff buttons undone one by one, and she felt his body tense as the air hit his exposed skin.

Her arms circled his waist, his skin soft to the touch as she slipped her hands into the jeans and gently gave them a tug. They fell just a little way down, and she used her hands to guide them even further, her hands at his sides and she could see the dark blue boxers he was wearing underneath. The pants kept falling down, and she bent her knees to make sure they would keep going. She looked up at him one more time, before she lowered her eyes to the tent that was forming in his underwear, and still she felt herself blush, even after everything else that had already happened tonight. Her eyes lingered there, widened in curiosity as the jeans fell to his feet.

She pulled herself back up and he leant in, his finger under her chin to bring her face to his, and kissed her as he stepped out them, balancing on one foot and then the other carefully, thinking that him falling over like the clutz he was and taking her with him could really kill the moment. He smiled as she broke the embrace, and he felt her gently pulling at his boxers to get his attention. He looked down at them, and she grinned, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes that he couldn’t help but feel himself get harder because of.

“Hey, look,” she said mischievously, “No pee this time.”

He laughed with her, his palm coming up to rest on her cheek. “Maybe we should discuss how hot you looked when you threw up on Woodstock.”

“Yep,” she said with a sigh, “Nothing says ‘sexy’ more than pee and barf stories.”

“Will, you could dress up in a full clown suit right now, and you’d still be sexy,” he assured her. “And we both know how I feel about clowns.”

“Wow,” she said, “You must really like me.”

“Maybe I should show you how much…” he said with a smirk.

She giggled as he leant into her neck and nuzzled her there, his lips caressing her skin softly, making her tilt her head even more so he could give her more. She could feel his breath course over her shoulder, hot and perfect, as he touched his lips to her skin. He moved his lips along her collarbone until he reached the centre, and he let his tongue trail down over her chest. He lay tender kisses over her skin, stopping when he reached the swell of her breast and the white cotton fabric that was covering them.

His eyes were drawn to them, of course, and he wasn’t about to deny it to anyone. Everyone knew he was a walking hormone, and he was okay with that. Plus, the proof was in the magazines under his bed. He could say he just had an appreciation for the female body, but everyone knew that was a lie. He had seen the women in those magazine, and he always thought that given the choice, he’d go for those big, round orbs if given the chance. But now…he wouldn’t swap these for anything in the whole world. They sat high on her chest, small but perfectly formed, and if he just touched them, he knew they’d fit into his palm in just the right way. But he wasn’t ready for that yet. He wanted to. God, he wanted to so much… But he was going to wait.

Instead, he gently guided her back to the bed and let her sit carefully. He put his hand behind her head, and guided her as she lay down, her back flat against the bed with her feet still on the ground. He bent over her to kiss her collarbone again, his head moving down lower and lower to kiss the spot just between both of her breasts, over the bra and further down. He could feel her hands in his hair again, spurring him on, and his lips fell over her navel and the flatness of her stomach. He moved lower still, separating her legs and kneeling between them. His hands found her hips at the edge of the bed and the jeans that were riding low there.

He kissed her stomach, all along her waistline, just above the band of her jeans, before he pulled back, just a little, to look at her. His hands had snaked around to rest on the small of her back as she arched against his touch, and he gently ran his thumbs along her sides, making her laugh lightly to herself and her skin goosebump under his touch. They continued to move down her jeans, slowly stroking over the denim as he brushed over the spot of blue paint on her right thigh that he had noticed earlier.

“I remember when this happened,” he said quietly, looking up at her with nostalgia in his eyes, before his attention was brought back to the stain with his thumb rubbing over it gently.

“That’s probably because you put it there,” she told him with a laugh, propping herself up on her elbows. “And it matches the spots on your ceiling,” she said, gesturing upwards to where there was more evidence of the paint fight.

“I was trying to make you laugh,” he said. “You were all upset about your fish dying. I just wanted to see you smile.”

“Well, it worked,” she said, “Although, when I couldn’t get the blue paint out of my hair for a week, it wasn’t so funny. But it was worth it.”

His eyes went back to the blue stain, and he found himself lowering his head to place a kiss over it softly. His hands worked their way back up, his fingers fumbling with the buttons on her jeans. They were opened soon enough, and he slowly pulled them down as she lifted herself slightly to help, his eyes drawn to the white cotton panties that matched her bra and pulled them away from her.

He touched one of her ankles, if for no other reason than because it was just there and it was Willow, so he had to, and he pretty much made a decision that before this night was over he’d touch every part of her. It was delicate, fragile, just like she had always seemed, even though she had proved on more than one occasion that she was anything but. She had fought dark forces, gone through more with her friends than anyone could have predicted, she had restored someone’s soul, and she had done it all with a smile on her face and hardly a thought for herself.

His hand trailed up her leg from her ankle, over the back of her calf and then over the knee, tickling her thigh with his fingertips, dancing further and further up until she took his hand and pulled him up to kiss her again. She sat up on the bed, him still kneeling between her legs, and his arms slipped around her waist, pulling her to him and pressing their bodies together closer. His arms tightened, and her hands ran up his biceps to make him tingle all over.

“Do you have any idea how proud I am of you?” he asked her, looking into her green eyes with a seriousness she had never seen before.

“What?” she asked, confused. “What is there to be proud of?”

“Everything,” he told her. “I always thought that you needed protecting, and I always thought the person who’d be doing that was me. I liked that feeling. It made me feel like you needed me.”

“I do need you,” she told him.

“I know,” he said. “But I didn’t know that before. I thought that when Buffy came into our lives, and when you met Oz, you stopped. Buffy is stronger than I ever could be, and Oz gave you more than I did, and I couldn’t compete with that. I just realised that you never needed protection, because you’re strong enough on your own. You just needed me to be your best friend.”

“And you were,” she told him, her hands on his cheeks. “I know it was hard sometimes, but you always have been. No matter what’s going on with us, I’ve always known that you’d be there.”

“And I always will be…”

Her hands slid from his face to his shoulders, and then around his neck to bring his face closer so she could kiss him. She felt like she had to, because if she didn’t, it was a very real possibility that she might explode.

His hands travelled up her back, slowly and softly, the tips just grazing her skin enough to make her shudder at his touch, and she released a breath that felt like it had been stuck in her chest somewhere, like she hadn’t breathed in an age and she felt a sound escape her that was somewhere between a moan and a sigh.

His hands moved over the back fastening of her bra, and his lips moved from hers to attach themselves to her neck, lightly taking the skin there into his mouth and running his tongue over it as he moved down. He hit her shoulders again, the straps holding up her bra already falling down her arms due to his earlier ministrations. One of his hands held her tightly to him, while the other unhooked the fastening of the flimsy bit of material. He could feel her breathing, he could feel the way her heart was racing, just like his was, but most of all he could feel two hard points pressing into his chest through the cotton of her bra.

His lips moved down her arm, his free hand preceding them and guiding the thin piece of fabric over her forearm and away. He switched arms, holding her just as tightly with his other hand as he followed the process with the other arm. He pulled himself back, just a little, pulling the cotton material from her, looking her in the eyes the whole time.

She was exposed in front of him, but he wanted her to know that she was more than that. He was curious, of course, and excited in ways he couldn’t even describe, and his stomach was doing that flippityflip thing and his heart was doing that thudthudthud thing even more than it had been ever since she first came here. But he wanted her, not just this, and she had to know that. Did she know how much she meant to him?

Willow leant forward, burying her face in his hair. “I know…” she whispered in a voice that he almost couldn’t hear, before she kissed him again. She shuffled back on the bed, Xander automatically following her as she lay her head on the pillows again, his body covering hers.

He lay on his side next to her, still never taking his eyes from hers, leaning down to kiss her, the feeling becoming familiar but still new in all kinds of different ways that was adding to this situation, one he’d never be thankful enough for being in.

He eventually pulled away, his fingers touching her forehead and running down her cheek, over her chin and down her neck. She let out a whimper, and he finally brought his eyes down to her chest. His finger traced across her collarbone and down, and that’s where he found himself in awe.

Her breasts were alabaster, just like the rest of her skin. A perfectly clear, creamy skin tone that he loved when he saw her hair fall across it, the vibrant red against the pale ivory. He also loved the way his skin looked next to it. His own complexion was darker than hers, tanned from being in the sun when she could barely go outside in the height of summer without two layers of SPF 50, but it seemed so perfect next to hers, and he smiled to himself because of it. They were rounded and firm, he could see that even without touching them, but he thought he should probably make sure, just to be on the safe side. They were just what he had thought they were going to be like, with these rosy pink nipples that seemed to be calling his name.

His hand found the place where one of her breasts began, just where they began to swell. The very tips of his fingers grazed over it slowly, making the pinkness stand on end, responding to his touch. His fingertips ran over it, and she whimpered beneath him and arched her back. He began the process again, this time tracing around one of her breasts, around the curve and under, the sensation tickling to her, making her giggle and moan, all at the same time. He moved over to the other breast, the same thing again, light traces of his fingertips over and around her breast, over her nipples and small noises escaping her that he wished he could record and play to himself every night and day after this.

His hand moved back to her chest, letting his fingers trail between the two perfect orbs of flesh, and he looked up at her. She had closed her eyes, and now she nibbling on her own bottom lip, her tongue popping out every now and again to wet them in anticipation of what was to come.

“You’re beautiful…” he whispered to her, his lips moving to her neck, “…And sexy…” he told her, his lips moving to her chest. “…And cute…” he said, moving back up to her face, “…And adorable…” He kissed her on the lips, deep and long and hot, “…And you’re mine…”

She laughed, and his hand traced a pattern from her chin and down again, this time allowing himself to cup one of her breasts in his palm. He smiled to himself, and to her when he looked up at her flushed face, his earlier predictions proved right at the perfect match between them. He began gentle massaging movements with his fingers around it that made him breathe quick and shallow, his thumb rubbing over her nipple to make her arch again, and he found his hand closing tighter around her.

He bent his head down, eager to taste those pink, round mounds that sat atop the perfect breasts. His tongue darted out to it, whirling slowly around the tip of the nipple, the other still being tended to by his other hand, and he gently sucked it into his mouth, the sound she was making encouraging him that this experience was of the good.

She had never known that something could feel this good. Even in her wildest dreams she had never thought it could be like this. She had imagined, of course, but nothing came close. On more than one occasion she’d find herself thinking of him when she was alone at night, tucked up in bed in the dark, and she’d feel something seemingly fluid moving through her when she thought of him, pictured his face, that made her stomach turn and her heart pound, and she’d feel something warm and tingly between her legs that she’d dared to touch her fingers to once or twice, but never for more than moment. That had been nothing compared to this.

His hand was so light and gentle, and she felt in every single kiss and touch how much he wanted this. She wanted him, and the dampness between her legs that was growing by the second told her sooner rather than later. She wanted him to touch her there, right where she needed it, and she wanted to touch him. She wanted to tell him that she needed it, but it seemed that she couldn’t speak while he was touching her. She hadn’t expected that. How could you expect something like that?

His mouth was still on one of her breasts, while his hand teased the other, and it was all she could do to keep from crying out. She could feel herself taking handfuls of the comforter underneath her, and she could feel herself arching against him, but there seemed to be nothing she could do to stop herself, not that she wanted to. For that to stop, Xander would have to stop what he was doing, and she was definitely voting in the ‘let’s not’ category of that poll.

She had always been self-conscious, ever since kindergarten. She remembered seeing the other little girls in the playground, swooshing around in their pretty dresses, and then she’d look down at her overalls and sweater, and feel out of place. She had felt like that her whole life, hiding herself away as much as she could. She wasn’t big on the fashion, and that didn’t bother her so much when she was with her friends, but sometimes she had just wished that she could be more like the masses, just for the sake of it, just to stay out of the limelight of Cordelia or Harmony’s teasing.

There was a full length mirror in her bedroom that she’d had forever. When she was getting ready for school or to go to the Bronze, it was great. When she had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed, it wasn’t. For some reason, she had never been able to stand naked in front of that mirror and look herself over. That wasn’t normal, and she pretty much knew that. So, if she couldn’t really look at herself, why was she letting someone else roam so freely over it, eyes and hands taking in every bit of her?

Because it was Xander, was her answer. He was the only person in the world she felt like she could be herself around, and she loved him for that. For many other reasons, too, but that was a big part of it. The point was, in front of him, she didn’t feel self-conscious. She didn’t feel nervous, or worried, or embarrassed about anything. She just felt like Willow, and he made her feel perfect.

She felt his hand move from her breast, fingers trailing down over her flat stomach and across her navel, and she felt her breath catch in her chest. His fingers played over the waistband of the thin cotton panties she was wearing, and when he brought his eyes up to look at her, she pulled him closer to make him kiss her. His fingers danced downwards, lightly tracing patterns over the material, and she felt herself gasp into his mouth, making him kiss her harder.

Xander took the sounds she was making as a positive, and his hand continued its journey downward. His fingers came into contact with damp fabric, and he felt something well up inside of him that it was because of him, because of how much he loved her, and he used two fingers to rub her over the cotton, right where she was the wettest.

She whimpered loudly, tearing her mouth away from him to push herself up from the bed, her eyes closing tightly as her head fell to the side, and he used the opportunity to kiss her neck again, finally seeing what the attraction was to all of those vampires he had met and seen dispatched in the last few years.

His fingers found the elastic band of her panties, and he slowly and carefully lifted the material, pushing it down at one side, then the other, further and further down until she lifted herself off the bed so he could remove them altogether. He slipped them down one of her legs, then the other, and he had to look at her.

He had been supporting his own weight with his arm, and now he moved it above her head, giving her a chance for her breathing to stabilise and for her eyes to open before he continued. She couldn’t open her eyes fully, and he understood that when he saw the desire and lust in them, knowing it intensely because he was sure she was seeing the same in him. He was lying half over her, one of her breasts pressing against his chest, skin on skin, her nipple rubbing against him in a way that he encouraged by moving his chest over her, while his hand played on the skin of her thighs.

She opened her legs just that little bit wider, and he used that to run his fingers along the sensitive nerves and muscles just a few inches away from that wetness he couldn’t wait to taste. She closed her eyes, her head tilting back, as his fingers found the warm, silken hair that surrounded her centre. His eyes were drawn to the curls, red and inviting, and his fingertips made little circles in it, one finger on each side of her opening, slowly and steadily heading for the prize she was hiding inside. He dipped one finger into the place she was warmest, the tip running up and down her length in teasing movements, until he hit that pivotal spot that made her cry out louder than he had ever heard from her in his life.

His finger ran back down her again, the second finger that had been waiting just outside of the warmth in those soft curls joining it, dampness lubricating him until her found the place he wanted to sink into. One finger slipped inside, and he felt her arch herself and push down, wanting more from him. His finger slipped back out again, moving his digit back up to rub that swollen nub again, harder than before and listening for that sound. When it came, he did it again, this time for longer, and then around and inside of her with both fingers, then back up and against her, the sounds coming think and fast.

She moved beneath him, pulling his hand away slowly and bringing it to her face.

“I want you to taste me…” she told him, guiding the two slick fingers that had been inside her to his mouth.

He gladly opened his maw for her, knowing he’d do anything she asked of him, especially this, when he had been wanting to taste her for so long. He wanted to rest his head next to where the source of all that heat was, he wanted to feel it on his tongue and his lips. And he would, soon, but not now. For now, he would settle for this, and he took one of the glistening digits into his mouth, while she lifted herself up to taste the other.

She pulled the hand away and kissed him, hard and long, tongues and lips and heat, as she let her hand wander down. She touched over the sparse sprinkling of brown hairs on his chest, over his abdomen and his nipples, before she continued downward. She had been able to feel him pressing against her since he’d moved and she had loved it, but now she actually wanted to know what it felt like next to her skin. She wanted to know what it felt like in her palm, with her fingers running over it and around it.

Her hands ran around to his back, moving over his ass to push the loose-fitting boxers away from him. She pushed again, her movement restricted by his body on top of hers, and he quickly helped to divest himself of them. She was still kissing him as she pushed him over onto his back with just enough force that made her feel in charge and dominant.

Her fingers moved into the dark hair at the apex of his thighs, and she pulled away from him to take a good look at what she was doing. She was only a little bit surprised, which she told herself was a good thing. Her eyes widened on him, hard and waiting, and she curiously put her fingers on him. She heard him take a lungful of air, and she closed her fingers around it, her thumb brushing over the head of it and circling it in a way that made him gasp.

She moved her hand, first up, and he was making that noise again, so she took it a good, and moved down with it, the same noise only sharper escaping him. Her hand tightened as she moved up and down in a slow rhythm, the skin there softer than she had been expecting.

His hand closed over hers, ceasing the movements as he pushed her back over to lie on top of her. “Do you have any idea how much I want you?” he asked her.

“I think I have an idea,” she said with a grin.

He straddled her carefully, her hands still on him right there as he bent to kiss her, over and over until they both had to break for air, as she ground herself against him, her wetness rubbing against his erection, both of them moaning their own satisfaction at the contact.

“I want to feel you inside me,” she told him, her voice husky and low, feeling like if she didn’t have him right now she might possibly die.

He nodded, accepting her wishes, as he reached over to the bedside table and opened the drawer. He took something out, closed the drawer and pulled open the foil packet. It took a second to place over the head, and a breath escaped him when her hand closed over his, smoothing the latex down.

She brought her hands from him as he lowered himself to her, and she opened her legs further to let him nestle between them. He guided the shaft to her opening, the head of him rubbing against her teasingly, and making her let out a moan or three as she brought her hands to his back. Her hands ran along his skin as he shifted himself, finding her right where he was supposed to be, but taking a moment before he continued.

He was going to ask her if she was sure, if this was really what she wanted, but he already knew. All he had to do was look up into her eyes, look at her face and at the way she was holding him, and he didn’t need to.

Her hand came up to settle in his hair, “No matter what happens,” she said softly, “No one can ever take this away from us. We’re going to remember this, remember us, whatever happens in the future. This moment is ours. Forever.”

Lowering his face to hers, he pushed forward, just a little, the warmth surrounding him and filling him, even with just his head inside her. He pushed in just a little more, and she let out a scream as he felt resistance.

It was then that Willow felt it. Up until now, it had all been good. More than good. Out of ten, Xander was currently scoring three hundred and twelve, but this wasn’t so great. She felt the pain course through her, a fiery, searing pain emanating from that one spot just between her legs and shooting through her insides, and she felt her eyes watering as she winced.

Xander’s eyes instantly widened, his arms around her as he buried his face in her shoulder, bringing his face to hers to kiss her and kiss her and kiss her. “I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry…” he told her over and over, panic and worry filling his voice.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” she whispered back, lifting his face to kiss him gently back. “It’s okay…” she told him again, the pain gone now and the tingling and throbbing and the need and the want back in full force.

She lowered her hands to the bottom of his back, pushing him further inside of her as she lifted her hips to meet him and there was a combined cry that came from both of them as he sank fully inside of her, the hot core surrounding and contracting around him. He slowly pulled out of her, only to sink back in, the feeling better than he could ever have predicted. Again, he pulled back, then forward again, his hips rolling around and grinding against her, making her cry out. He continued on, her breathless cries making him move quicker, in and out, and his lips found hers for a crushing, passionate kiss.

“I love you…” he whispered into her ear, his head nestling in the crook of her neck as he pumped in and out.

“I love you…” she replied, her arms slipping under his and around his back, pulling him down, pulling their bodies closer as they moved in synchronisation.

They rocked back and forth, Willow suckling on his shoulders and his neck as he buried his head in the crook of her neck, before her lips found his as their pace increased. Every thrust was met with vigour, every nerve in her body on fire as they found each other again and again, his hand working its way down to find her engorged bundle of hyper-sensitive nerves, and she bucked as he rubbed it.

Xander could feel himself getting closer and closer. He could feel it building inside of him, he could feel it waiting to pour out of him and into her, and judging by the moans and cries she was letting out, this would be over soon, not that he wanted it to be. He wished this could go on forever, because nothing had ever felt so right.

And then he couldn’t see. He felt himself let go as he cried out, felt the sensation burst through every part of his body as he heard her let out a moan followed by a loud cry of pleasure, and he knew he was never going to leave her.

Willow felt it building inside of her, the most intense pleasure she had ever experienced, felt it building more and more every time her skin touched his, with every stroke of his hand, with every thrust of their hips. Her head fell back as she heard him let out a noise that she knew signalled his climax, and she felt an explosion inside, part of her knowing that his pleasure was because of her. She cried out as she felt it wash over her and through her, the greatest feeling she had ever known combined with being with him making this moment burn itself into her memory as something she’ll remember long after she’s forgotten even her own name, and Xander was the reason for it.

His breath was coming thick and fast when he finally opened his eyes and took her in, one of the most amazing sights he had ever seen, this night quickly becoming a series of them. Her eyes were still closed, her head still thrown back, still riding the wave of her pleasure, with her cheeks red and flushed, a few strands of her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat and her chest heaving.

He fell back on the bed, the arms that were still around her pulling her with him to rest on his chest, her knees at either side of him. He was still inside of her and he never wanted to leave, hot, slick skin against hot, slick skin, and all of her weight on top of him, but he had never been so comfortable in his life.

“Why did we fall apart?” she asked him, looking up at him with sadness and wonder in her eyes.

“We had to,” he told her, his hand coming to her face to brush away the hair on her forehead. “We had to fall apart, so we could come back together. We had to go through everything else so we could have this.”

“Then I’m glad,” she said. “Because I wouldn’t swap this for anything.”

“Me either,” he said with a smile.

Her chin rested on his chest, “What I said earlier,” she said, “About not knowing whether or not we’ll get a happy ending?”

“What about it?” he asked.

“I was wrong,” she said. “I think we will.”

“You know what,” he said with a knowing smile. “So do I.”

The country music played on, the CD he had chosen earlier on loop, as the world continued to turn outside of this room where everything seemed to stand still.

But inside, Xander Harris and Willow Rosenberg were in a very good mood.


The End