Poof

Poof B/G (Part Four)

Buffy and Giles just stared at one another in the doorway. Eventually Giles cleared hhroahroat and asked Buffy the inevitable question.

"Tea?"

"Huh?"

"Tea? Would you like some tea? Or some water? I might have a bit of orange juice left," said Giles with a slight smile.

"Tea's fine," replied Buffy going over to sit on the couch dumping her duffle on the desk as she passed it. While Giles fiddled in the kitchen, Buffy switched on the television. The discovery that Giles owned a television had been a wonder. But since Giles had to be one of only five people in America who didn't even have basic cable, the choices were limited. Fortunately every channel was showing the same thing.

"Giles."

"Yes?"

"The demon's hit again." So much for avoiding the issue, thought Buffy.

"Where?" asked Giles, bringing with him the tray of tea and cookies, Giles was incapable of serving tea without snacks. Either it was a British thing or Giles was conditioned after years of having Xander over. Giles seemed determined to put a fair amount of distance between them as he sat in the chair adjacent to the couch and glanced at the television.

"The Espresso Pump."

"Pardon?"

"The demon's gone and attacked the only place to get a decent mocha latte in this town. I am not going for coffee at Starbucks. How am I supposed to slay night after night if I can't get a mocha latte after I'm done? Starbucks is gross. The coffee is weak, the music is bad and everyone is way too cheerful. It's like Stepford coffee."

"Are you certain?"

"Giles, a gang of bikers on PCP attacked the Pump. Again. Do you ever wonder why the DEA never comes to Sunnydale for an investigation? We have more unexplained biker attacks than any other city. Oh, and it also had a run in with Riley and his team."

"The tea's also horrible."

"What?"

"Starbucks, the tea is horrendous. All of them taste the same, cute names, bad tea. I really don't want to have to journey to Starbucks for tea. And you're right the music is horrible. Did you know the last time I was there they were playing a muzak version of The Seeker? It's appalling as to how many groups have sold out. Although to be factual, Michael Jackson sold the Beatles out. I wonder how much he got for that?"

"Giles."

"I know," said Giles, running a hand through his hair and getting up to pace around the room. He reached to his face to remove his glasses, but then noticed said glasses sitting on the desk, half hidden under the duffle bag. He sighed and turned to Buffy, lifting the bag, giving his glasses a quick polish and putting them down on top of the bag. Buffy cringed, just a little.

"So the demon's attacked both the military and downtown Sunnydale? Have you spoken with Riley? Are they planning an attack?" he said with a well-placed sigh. Two sighs from Giles in less than a minute.

Things were looking up for Save the World sex. Giles sounded like he'd rather be impaling the Mayor with a sword, dating chairs or basically anything other than having Buffy in his apartment, smushing his glasses. Or having sex with her.

"I think so. The Initiative doesn't handle demons that don't react well to a well-placed rifle blast. I figure we've got a few hours before they get it together. Than we've got unstoppable yeeha demon versus American military. Not to mention hundreds of people in a state of caffeine depravation. It should get ugly fast."

Yet again the Giles sigh. Buffy wondered if that was something they taught in Watcher School. Because Wesley used to sigh like that. Right after Giles had done something to show him up. Since Giles did that by walking into the room, Wes had sighed a lot. Or squeaked. But Buffy was fairly sure that was a Wesley thing because Giles really never whimpered.

"It's a Yeoz demon."

"It's a pervert."

"A deviated prevert."

"What?"

"A quote from a movie I once saw."

"Oh" replied Buffy , eating a cookie. Giles went to the movies? Probably some foreign film in some obscure accent like Inuit or something like that. Giles did not seem like the type to go to a big action movie with lots of special effects. Buffy really wasn't sure what Giles liked to see. The television had been a surprise, Giles with something that wasn't created by men wearing tights seemed wrong. Parker had at least been a modern kind of guy. The modern sort that slept through the freshmen class. Giles and sex. Giles and Buffy and sex.

Yet again those delightful chosen destiny wonders.

Giles did that combination cluck and sigh and sank back into his chair. Looking at Buffy he opened his mouth. "It's not you." "Obviously" "Buffy," she just stared at Giles and dunked her cookie into the tea, Giles continued, "this Watcher business," Giles began, leaning forward a bit, clasping his hands over his knees and turning to face Buffy but not really meeting her eyes. He stared at some vague point over her shoulder but myopically. Buffy wondered if his glasses came off when he was kissing someone. They weren't going to kiss were they? At this point, Buffy thought, they'd be lucky if they had a chance to do the deed before the Initiative brought out the tactical nuclear weapons. And she really needed to pay attention to Giles right now, because he was all into the explaining of things.

"I never had a choice. As much as you never had a choice, neither did I. My life has been defined by the word Watcher and demons and things that people don't believe exist. My only solace has been in my personal relationships. They've been separate. I could turn to them and forget for awhile that I'm a Watcher. I could relax, let go. It was a balm."

"Like Blistex?"

"As in a haven. Something I could turn to and not worry. Until recently, it's been safe. And I'm furious that I'll have nothing left. las last bastion of my privacy will be taken from me with this."

Buffy turned cold at Giles's words. "It sounds like it has everything to do with me Giles. You resent the destiny thing. You're mad at this whole ritual thing, with the Slayer, who if you've forgotten is me. So tell me how this doesn't mean me. You think I'm thrilled? Hello? I've got a relationship going. With a boyfriend who wants to get together with me and and take me to meet the family, with grandparents. There's probably a dog involved as well. How'd you like to explain this one to Riley? He's from Iowa. They have crops there. Farmland. Think the traditional family values guy is going to go along with this?"

"Buffy," began Giles

"What?" asked Buffy crossing her arms defensively in front of her.

"I don't want you hurt. I want you to have a normal life. This," said Giles waving his hand towards the book on the coffee table, "is as far from normal as you can get."

"So sex with me would be abnormal?"

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Well, what exactly did you mean, because all I heard was Buffy and not-normal sex. And you're not exactly normal. Most guys your age would be drooling to bag some nineteen year old. I know my Dad is."

"Buffy," snapped Giles, standing up and pacing, stopping to pick up his glasses on the way, Giles was nothing if not talented at multitasking. So there he was, pacing, clucking and cleaning his glasses. And turning red again. Buffy wondered if this was why the British always turned purple in the sun, their skin cells were incapable of any colors other than pasty white and beet red. Giles didn't seem to have a mid-range. He stopped and turned to Buffy.

"I'm not your father." Giles quietly said.

Buffy had actually come up with a fairly good quip to that one when she looked at Giles' face and closed her mouth.

"I'm not your father." He repeated.

"I know."

"I don't make a habit of bedding nineteen year olds. I'm well past the age where sex, is, casual. As you would say, I've been there, I've done that."

"Well, actually I'd leave out the 'I'ves."

"Pardon?"

"Been there, done that. Correct grammar usage laws don't apply. And what's the deal with you and Olivia? She flies in, flies out, you lock the doors for the weekend; that sounds pretty casual to me."

"It is a far better thing to travel hopefully than it is to arrive."

"Huh?" Buffy was again dazzled by Giles' ability to avoid the subject at hand. If she was old (er) and some nineteen year old was going "we have to have sex in order to save the world" she'd go along with it. In a heartbeat. But then women, she recalled from some magazine article she'd read long ago, were happy in a sexual way at like, forty. With men it was seventeen, so the whole Giles and Viagra thing was looking more and more certain.

Giles just shook his head and began prowling around the apartment. Buffy thought she might get dizzy watching him. His circles took him closer to the bottles on the counter, but he just eyed them longingly and went back to her. He sank down on the couch beside Buffy and took her hand in his.

"I don't want to force you into anything. This 'sex to kill demon' has me thinking one of two things."

"Just two?"

"Well, more, but I find myself a little overwhelmed at the other possibilities."

"So what are the two options Giles?" Asked Buffy, letting go of his hand and curling into a corner of the couch, looking at Giles,

Giles' hand rested gently on her leg as he began: The first is that "is I don't want to hurt you. It took us a long time to get over past grievances on both sides, and I'm not entirely sure we are over those. This adds fuel to the fire. I don't want to lose you Buffy. I couldn't stand it. This ritual is forcing us to have sex. It is as though both of us are being raped in someway by our duties and it feels like a violation. It is a violation." Corrected Giles. "Rape is unforgivable."

Giles' voice had done all rough and quiet and he was staring into space. Seeing something that Buffy didn't even want to know about. Something she couldn't know about.

"Giles, that book's all for a Watcher and Slayer sex romp." responded Buffy pointing to boo book on the table which contained all that delightful information on the yeshiva demon. Trying to break the mood that permeated the apartment.

Giles gave the book a look previously only bestowed on the Mayor and Angel. Angel. It was a contained blankness that scared Buffy. She couldn't read this Giles.

To be honest, and self-reflective, yea! psych class, thought Buffy, she really didn't want to go where Giles was right now. And maybe this was what all that previously thought to be Buffy induced anger was. Not the seeing her only as the Slayer, but more as the girlfriend of a vampire. Something that had less to do with her and more to do with that never discussed thing that happened with her ex-vampire-lover who was running around like nothing had ever happened between him and Giles. Neither of them were talking about it and Buffy wasn't sure she could ever ask. Because it might be too late. So she took the obvious out.

"What's the other?"

"Other?" Giles looked at that really fascinating point over her shoulder again.

"Other thing. You said there were two things."

"Ah. The second." He gave a short laugh and Buffy saw him visibly pull himself out of the hole that he'd gone to. "Kill the demon."

"Kill the demon?"

"And Wagner's Ring of the Nibelungen."

"Giles?" He had to be off the deep end. Because Buffy wasn't even following the tangent, tangentially. She just knew she wasn't even close to this one.

"If you'd given me the Slayer handbook we wouldn't be having these problems." Buffy said, "My handbook would have explained how to handle a cranky Watcher who won't have sex with me in order to save the world."

"You would have tossed it at me. And I." Giles sighed, but didn't cluck, "I only want to protect you. I'd do anything to do so, even from myself."

They looked at each other for the first time since glaring at one another over pulpy orange juice. Giles smiled slightly at Buffy, came back from that dark and scary place and placed his hand on her cheek. Buffy leaned into his palm.

It was warm and had calluses on it that a scholar would never have. But a Watcher would. Someone who used swords, quarter staffs and knives. Who was nicknamed Ripper and when he poked his head out of the books written in dead languages fought demons and death with a ferocity that rivaled hers.

Someone who would die to protect her.

She turned her head slightly and brushed her lips over his fingertips. His eyes never left her as his thumb began to trace the outline of her lips and he shifted on the couch, turning towards her. His hand ran lightly up her leg and Buffy warmed to his fingers on her leg. She parted her lips and his thumb slipped inside her mouth and she touched the tip of her tongue against it. She felt his hand shake, just a little, and it wasn't like her leg wasn't quivering a bit. Not at all.

Which was the exact moment Willow came in. With a thump. Not knocking. Just flinging the door open like she belonged. Here. The door banged against the coat rack with a thud that was equal to the noise Buffy and Giles made as they sprang apart, both of them red, vaguely guilty and somewhat flushed. Buffy had never felt this uncertain or excited from a touch. Not even when she and Greg Bingham had taken off their underwear and run around the block when they were six. Buffy had been grounded for two weeks after the naked romp around the block and they hadn't even played doctor.

Having sex with a man who was old enough to be her father, yet wasn't her father, and was very specific about that little fact, was sure to elicit some response from her Mom. Plus there was that whole fact that Joyce and Giles had done the nasty on a police car, twice, with handcuffs and a gun.

And Giles thought goats were kinky. Her mom was going to go postal if she ever found out.

"Hi guys!" said Willow, sounding way too happy.

Any excuse to browse the local Magic shop for items to be used in bizarre sanctification rites, and, thought Buffy, mustn't think of goats, as she turned her attention to Willow who was now kneeling in front of the coffee table and unpacking candles and smelly things. She and Giles had moved so far apart on the couch that they might have been on separate planets. Buffy snuck a sideways glance at Giles and saw just a little tinge of red above his collar.

"So I got the candles and the oils, did you know there are 32 types of sanctification oil? The book didn't specify what type of oil to be used so I thought... what would be best with you two? Those really floral ones were out, because I couldn't think of Giles and lavender in the same sentence, and do you remember Buffy how those musky ones made you sneeze?" Buffy focused on Willow. Anything to stop thinking like she and Giles had done something illicit. Because they hadn't. The ritual was making them do this. It was perfectly acceptable for the Slayer, which was her, and her Watcher, Giles, to do anything to protect the world from doom and gloom. They'd blown up the school and no one seemed to mind. There had even been a party. After the funerals.

Blame the book. Kill the demon. Have sex with Giles. He had a point.

"I thought that wouldn't work, so I had them up up a blend. Then, I was so right about the candles," Willow prattled on, "there was this run on them. The Wicca group was offering mid-term blessings instead of a bake sale. They've got 600 dollars now. Apparently the students at UC Sunnydale are much more interested in blessings and magic rites than cookies at midterms. Who knew? Even fake blessings from a Wicca group that doesn't believe in real magic and only wants to say 'Praise be the Goddess' while doing their hair. I talked to Ruth, the head wicca, and they're going to use the money to go to that big Renaissance Faire outside of San Diego next month. So I had to get the candles from Tara."

"Tara?" Snapped Giles, looking to Buffy for an explanation.

"Tara, had some of the supplies we needed, so Willow had to let Tara know why we needed them." Buffy softly replied.

At this, Giles grabbed his glasses, put them on and glared at Buffy. Again. The Watcher stare only worked at full power with the glasses on. And Willow was still going on.

"So, um, I was thinking that I should stay and help you guys through the ritual."

"Help?" Buffy replied, looking at Willow as though she had grown a tree limb. Or turned into a giant snake. Either way, Willow had to be on crack if she was suggesting to Buffy what she thought she was suggesting. From the look Giles gave Buffy before he began to circle behind Willow, he obviously thought Willow was possessed somehow. Next Giles would go for the weapons chest.

Willow , oblivious to the tension within the room continued merrily along with her explanation.

"Well sure, I mean Giles hasn't really cast anything alone in a really long time. And I've gotten really good at casting so I thought I should lay out the perimeter so you two wouldn't be distracted. And Tara said she'd be willing to help. And then the whole ritual thing. I could, you know, watch. To make sure you do it right." At that last remark, both Giles and Buffy stared at Willow as she finished unpacking the bag.

"Oh! I've forgotten." Cried Willow, sticking her head almost into the bag looking for something not there.

"It looks like we have everything Willow," replied Giles. Who by this point was glaring at Willow from the other side of the room and eyeing the weapons chest with a certain gleam in his eye.

"No, no, I forgot," cried Willow. "I mean, Tara and I, we never need them. And it's been a really long long since I was with Oz, and well. You know. The world these days. I could run out and get some. Because even if I found some, they might be, expired and that would be bad. And Buffy only took her weapons bag. So I can get Tara and she can go over the ritual with you and help you two set it up correctly. Tara and I have gotten really good at casting together. And you should have some impartial witnesses. For cover. So if you want to wait for a few minutes I'll just run down to the AM/PM."

"For what?" Buffy asked, afraid to look at Giles, because he seemed to be vibrating right now. With his hand over his mouth. And he was purple. So there was another color range for Giles. White, normal, red and purple. She didn't think Giles was breathing.

Willow gave Buffy a look like she was just the dumbest slayer on the planet. "For condoms. I mean Tara and me? No need. We just worked our way up to the dental dam. But you and Giles? The whole condom thing is really needed. Because did you know that when you sleep with someone you're sleeping with everyone else that has slept with that person and everyone else they've slept with. It's a huge number. And Giles, we already know about that whole magical sex orgy thing. So who knows who you've been with. It could be half of England." Willow paused and looked at Giles, who had his head hidden in his hand. But his ears were a really cute red. And his neck. "And you two have enough to worry about without the whole unprotected sex thing. So I'll help. I'll go get the condoms, you guys can get relaxed and when I get back I'll set the ritual up and make sure you two get it right. I'm ritual girl!" Willow proudly proclaimed. "You just have to let me know what kind you like."

Giles gave a muffled groan and went to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Buffy could hear water running.

"We'll be fine Willow." Buffy said as she guided Willow to the door. "I'm sure Giles can do the spell, you said it was really easy didn't you? We'll handle it. You relax. And forget about condoms. And the whole thing Giles and I are doing. And I'll talk to you later, much later. I have to slay the demon. So you should go to Tara. And stay there. As in not come back here. Ever. Tonight I mean'" corrected Buffy as she pushed Willow out the door and closed it behind her.

She stared at the wood pattern on the door as she locked it. Repeatedly. She just stared at the door and moved the lock from open to closed and back again, listening to the tumblers turn. She heard footsteps behind her and stop at her back as Giles's hand closed over hers and locked the door for a final time. Buffy could feel his body near hers. Way closer than he usually stood. Buffy could feel his breath on the top of her head. Smell his cologne and she wasn't really sure, bhe she swore she could feel this heat radiating from Giles even with a couple of inches between them.

"There are a couple of things we need to go over for the ritual," said Giles as Buffy turned to face him. The edges of his hair were wet and he was back to normal color. He also didn't look like he wanted to slay Willow anymore. Giles didn't really seem to mind the personal space violation and took one step back and gestured for Buffy to follow him to the table. Buffy sat on the sofa, trying to reconcile the feelings Giles had generated before Willow had come in to the clinical detachment he now displayed.

"It's really very simple." Buffy realized that at some point Giles had been going on and on about the Grinch ritual and she'd been off in the twilight zone. "Buffy." And once again, Giles' voice grounded her and brought her back to reality. "All you really have to do is draw a line in oil from here to here." Said Giles as his finger traced a line from the base of his throat to his waist. "It, um, has to, go to the edge of my pubic hair. I do the same to you, we have sex, we climax, the Gnarch ritual is activated and, I'm quoting here, all will be revealed."

"And you make it sound so attractive."

"I could..."

"What?"

"Well, Iht bht be able to anoint Riley as your Watcher." Giles reluctantly said, sinking to the couch beside her and staring at some distant point in front of her. "It would take a few days for the purification, and we'd have to minimize the rampaging demon, but at the end of it he'd be your Watcher and you could do this with him. I know this isn't your choice. I'd never force you to anything like this if you couldn't. Won't. Not again."

"What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you wouldn't be my Watcher? Anymore? I mean you aren't official anymore with the whole fired thing, but you're still, mine. Does this mean you'd leave?"

"If Riley was your Watcher, you wouldn't need me anymore. You could do this with Riley and the others. You'd be able to do this."

"Would you stay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Giles, don't play dumb. Would. You. Stay. Here, if you made Riley my Watcher?"

Giles got up from the couch and went to the bar and fiddled with the liquor bottles. "Buffy, there'd be no reason for me to stay. But I would. You know I would. I wouldn't leave you. Even if I wasn't your Watcher. Which I'm not. I was sacked. I haven't left yet. And I won't. As long as you need me, I'll be here."

"Riley thinks this whole demon fighting thing is a neat thing to do. He doesn't really get it. Willow and I talked about this earlier and I realized, you don't do this because it's fun and you get to play with cool guns. This isn't an adventure. You do it to keep the world safe. Like me. Riley's a boyfriend, but he's not a Watcher. So no to that."

"What?" Giles questioned, turning to face Buffy, who was standing at the edge of the couch and just glaring at Giles. The Slayer face was an ample match for the Watcher glare. "You're my Watcher. Mine. This whole thing sucks, but you, you'd make it okay, wouldn't you? You'd take care of me? It'd be safe? It's not a bad thing Giles. This is us. We'd be safe together, and not just in a whole safe sex way. Remember, this is a sacred duty. You're all for that. Right?"

"Buffy," said Giles with a little grin, "I'll always do my best to keep you safe."

"Because why?" Said Buffy with a little smirk as she walked up to Giles and leaned into him.

"Because you're my Slayer," Giles replied, cupping Buffy's cheek with his palm.

"And you're my Watcher. Even without a paycheck."

"Yes."

"So let's go do this thing and kill the demon and save the Espresso Pump."

"Perhaps the World as well, I'd hate to think we're doing this for less than altruistic purposes."

Buffy smiled up at Giles and walked upstairs to the loft. She looked over the railing as Giles gathered up the candles, the non-floral, non-musky sanctification oil and the book , who knew Giles needed a manual? He followed her up the stairs.

To the bed.

Where they both were. Now. Ready to save the world. With sex. And oil. And maybe, if she looked in Giles's bedside table, a condom or two.