Who I am...

Firstly, the font for this update's author's note is in a different color due to the fact that I also put characters' thoughts in italics, and as at least the beginning of this update is a lot of in-head-musings, I figured this might be a bit less confusing.
Firstly, I gotta send my love out to Lele Angel 03, cause Angel has a way of knowin how to boost my ego. Glad to see you're still reading my stuff Angel. Luv ya.

As well, Faith's inner musings and the first little scene of this is due to confused comments I received prior to the great Delete, as I'm calling the glitch from dec. 1-6. Not everyone quite got or understood what exactly happened between the second "chap" and the third. Hopefully, her musings explain it better. It wasn't originally planned, so if it seems out of place to people, my apologies.

Alrighty then, here goes...
~Disclaimers in first chapter.
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Faith was, of course, still sitting on the very edge of the bed. She hadn't moved out of the room to explore and see if it was, indeed, the same motel that all of her senses screamed at her that it was. She was leaned forward, head bent to stare blankly at the object in her hands. She didn't really see it, or anything at all. Her gaze remained unfocused, her concentraion solely in her mind.

Okay... so what happened.... What happened? I was on patrol. I know I was on patrol, but I wasn't doing a good job cause I wanted to get home and pack, to go visit B for Christmas. Even that small thought brought the barest of smiles to Faith's lips. Alright, that's straight. I know that happened. Then, I'm walking down the street, and I see a truck and a kid.... and the kid runs out in front of the truck.... Faith paused again and frowned down at the pendant in her hands. Now that was stupid. Yeah, I had to save her, just in case... but what kid, what real kid, would be out that late to run around in traffic, at least without parents? Whatever, it happened, can't change that. I saved her... and ended up getting slammed into by a big-ass truck. That's where it gets hazy.

Faith stared into the little pendant, so simple a thing to be a gift from a demon, girl, whatever she was. With a groan, she closed her eyes against the already raging headache. Her brain hurt just from trying to figure it out. So I get hit... and then the kid is there trying to keep me awake... I was tired. Fuck, I was dying... I died! "Holey shit, I died!" Her eyes went wide at that and she seemed to completely zone out for a minute. Only the curiosity of what the hell she was still doing here brought her back to her train of thought. I died... fuck that's hard to get around. I... I died and... and I woke up back here. What the hell happened? Okay, rewind. I'm dieing, and the kid is saying something... then I say something. Fuck, what did I say? Faith groaned. I know I made a wish that I knew things now. Why did I make a wish? What was the exact wish...

The dark haired woman growled to herself again and rubbed the jade pendant with her thumb. She vaguely remembered the "kid" saying something about deserving to die, and her trying to convince the girl otherwise. Then... "I wish I knew then what I know now." Fuck that was stupid. Never, never wish. What the hell Faith? You know better'n to make a wish. "The kid was a damned vengeance demon." She spoke aloud to herself, just to drive the point further home. Alright... I made a stupid wish... and... and died. I guess... she brought me back. I wished to know then what I know now... er... know now what I will know... or something. I guess that means she brought me back to Sunnyhell... before whatever bad choice she thought I meant....

Frightened for a moment, Faith ran quickly to the bathroom and flung the lights on, wincing at the sudden flare of florescent brightness. She winced, then looked in the mirror. No, she hadn't changed. Her hair was still in long, brown curls that reached just past her midback. Her face and body were still matured more than she had been as a teenager. She hadn't been thrown back into her teenage self. Reliving everything... that would have been hell. Letting out a relieved sigh, then one of frustration, she walked slowly back to the bed and fell back on it. "So what now? She said that it was up to me. If... if I can get my younger self to put this thing on... she, I, will go through all of the memories that I, me, want her, me, to know. Fuck that's confusing." She looked at the pendant. Her younger self would only know immediately what she wanted, and she could walk the younger, more volatile version of herself through it. Then other things would crop up as they were needed.

The wish was for her to know at a younger age what she already knew, not for her to be her younger self, or to be in the past. If the demon wasn't lying, if her senses weren't lying about the girl, creature, thing, whatever, having a soul, then it was true. A second chance. "It's worth a fucking shot."

It only took about five minutes for Faith to shove the pendant in her jacket pocket, shuck of a sweater, and head out the door. Scents and sounds assaulted her senses, driving home that this was, indeed, the old Sunnydale motel that she'd known so closely all that time ago. She shivered, dispite not being a bit cold, and scowled, heading out toward the streets of Sunnyhell, and probably the Bronze. She'd thought she'd finally gotten away from this hellhole.

~

Faith still didn't know exactly when she had been dropped. For all she knew, it could be the night of the killing. Thus, though she knew that getting Buffy to break and enter was a mistake, she wanted to first check where Balthezar should be, and the alleyways. Nothing. It wasn't then. She quickly ran all over town, not even knowing the time of night, checking the school, the apartement the Mayor had set up, the docks, even Angel's old mansion. She honestly had no clue as to how she was even going to approach her younger self. If she remembered anything at all, and she knew that she did, one of the last people that young Faith was about to trust was herself, even older and "from the future."

Sighing, she walked back toward the Bronze, probably one of the first places that she should have checked. It was mostly packed, and just as she walked up, she saw a very familiar form walking out, with a lanky, fashion-victim vamp. Her... her first night in Sunnydale?! Without preamble, she made a quick decision, and threw her younger self away from the vamp and staked it without any playing or talk. The younger girl looked up, and seemed to grow silent, and defensive, in shock. It was unlike her, but also her only chance, so she merely smiled, winked at the girl, and ran. It had felt dizzying and nausiating to have even been near the younger self, and she knew the younger girl had felt it. She heard running feet behind her, and felt the same sensations creeping in again. She'd taken her own bait.

As soon as they were a long distance away from the Bronze, she turned and came to an abrupt halt. "Hey, F. How's it hangin?" She smirked, trying to play this off right, as her younger counterpart came to a skidding halt.

"What the fuck are you?"

TBC