Christmas Blunders

Sry again guys! I’ve been working on my other fics and forgot that Christmas was nearing. Well, here’s something to put under your Christmas tree…

TITLE: Christmas Blunders (4/5)
AUTHOR: AsianObsidian
RATING: PG-13 (NC-17 a little later don’t worry)
PAIRING: Faith/Buffy, Willow/Kennedy, Xander/Anya
SUMMARY: *sings* It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Yes, it’s the holiday season. Our two favorite slayers go up to Mrs. Summers’ cabin and bring along the whole gang. Unfortunately Christmas cheer is cut short when odd events occur. Who will save Christmas?
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from BtVS. They are all property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
FEEDBACK: Oh yes please! Your feedback is much appreciated.
DISTRIBUTION: Fine by me as long as you ask first.
BETA: Carolyn aka HotLezzi6969 *snicker*

Chapter 4

Buffy was splayed out on the couch, a snoring Faith snuggled closer into her stomach. Both slayers didn’t bother moving from the plushy couch after their intense love making. The sun streamed in through the curtains of the living room.

“Xander! They’re even too lazy to put a blanket on after their wild lesbian sex!” Anya strolled on through the living room to the kitchen. A very groggy Xander emerged through the door.

“Ahn. What have I said about chirpiness in the morning? And what about…” He stopped his sentence once he eyed the two slayers on the couch; two very naked slayers. A husky voice snapped him out of his trance.

“You better put that tongue back in your mouth X-man before Anya and I snap it back in your throat.” Faith leered at him while covering up the naked blonde cuddled up against her.

“Uhh, well…I just…it’s morning and…breakfast?” The red faced brunette walked swiftly into the kitchen. A groaning Buffy stirred next to her partner.

“Why do you have to tease him AND have a strait face about it?”

“What can I say B? We’re two hot chicks with super powers. Gotta tease drool boy once an awhile.” Faith nuzzled her nose into the crook of the blonde’s neck.

“Mmmm…did I hear breakfast? Wait…we forgot to put our clothes back on!” Faith grinned as her girlfriend’s eyes became excessively wider.

“I do recall a certain sexy blonde saying ‘clothes be damned!’ after we came down from our big O’s.”

“Still! We have people in the house and did I mention we’re naked?!?” The brunette merely raised an amused brow. She scooped Buffy in the couch throw and headed for the bedroom.

“Faith! Put me down…you’re naked too!”

“No I’m not B. I slid my boxers back on after you fell asleep.” Low and behold, Faith was wearing her silk boxers, just not a top. Buffy sighed in relief. She would take seeing naked Faith any day but the little blonde didn’t want anyone else in the cabin to have a free show.

~In the Kitchen~

“Sometimes I don’t understand why humans do this! I mean…you chop down a tree then you put mindless ornaments on its branches then ceremoniously toss it out or burn it after Christmas! It’s bizarre!”

“Anya. We chop down trees and decorate them because it’s a tradition. You don’t turn your back on tradition.” Buffy explained while taking a sheet of Christmas cookies out of the oven. Willow walked through the room carrying Christmas tree ornaments.

“Even though I don’t celebrate Christmas, Buffy’s right about tradition.” The red head chimed in.

“Fine fine. But I still say it’s pointless.”

Kennedy, Faith, and Xander walked in the kitchen. They were all bundled up and ready to hit the chilly outdoors. Faith held the axe over her head while a very grumpy Kennedy tried to jump up and grab it.

“Faith! Come on! I had dibs on cutting down the tree! Willow…” She started to whine while continuing to try and snatch the axe from the brunette slayer.

“Oh go on, whine to Red.” Faith teased Kennedy and sprinted around the living room, a red faced potential-turned-slayer on her heals.

“What did I tell you two about running around in the house with an axe! And Faith…give Kennedy the axe, she had dibs.” Buffy had her hands on her hips. The brunette slayer handed the axe over to a smirking Kennedy.

“Come outside with us B, we were gonna have a snowball fight before heading off to get a tree.”

“Oh no…I’m not falling for that again! Last time you said ‘just an innocent snow ball fight’ it turned out to be another Apocalypse complete with killer snow balls!”
“Willow... you’ll come out and play with us right?” Kennedy gave Willow her puppy dog eyes.

“Sure baby…but play gentle.”

“Wahoo! My girl’s in…what about yours Xander?” Xander turned to the ex demon.

“Anya do you wanna come outside and play with us too? I’ll make snow demons with you…”

“Oooh! I love making those in the snow! Yes yes, lets go!”

“Beeeee… everyone else is going! Come on, be one of the cool kids and join us. You know you want to.” Faith waggled her eye brows.

“But what about my cookies? I have another batch to bake.” The little blonde held out the platter of partially burnt cookies. Everyone tentatively grabbed a cookie and bit into it. The five had sour looks on their faces after their first chew.

“That bad?” Everyone nodded.

“Ugh! Fine, but only if you promise to put on your sweater. I packed it for a reason.” Faith groaned and Kennedy snickered.

“Oh yeah! I packed yours too sweetie.” The red head bounced up and down. Kennedy gave out a groan of her own.

“Ha! Take that Brownie!” Faith gave Kennedy a playful punch, only a playful punch from a slayer actually hurts. Kennedy scowled at her.

“Lets make a snowman Xander!” Anya was already pulling Xander out the door.

“Ok Ahn, but remember where to put the carrot this time. The little kids at the park looked at us funny the last time. I don’t think they were prepared to listen to your anatomy lesson.

“It doesn’t make sense though. Why would you give me a carrot and expect me to put it on its face? You can plainly see that it’s for the snowman’s pen…” And they were out the door.

“Come on B! This sweater is so lame!” Faith whined like a five year old while Buffy shoved it over her head to get into.

“I have to agree with Faith on this.” Kennedy was scowling as her girlfriend helped pull the Frosty sweater over her head.
“But they’re so cute baby!”

“And they put you in the Christmas spirit!”

Willow and Buffy stood side by side admiring their handy work.

“I feel like one of those life size Dress Me Up Barbies.” Kennedy looked down at the Frosty sweater with a look of loathing.

“Fuck man!” Faith trudged outside.

~Outside~

Womp!

A snowball hit Faith square on in the face. The brunette slayer hadn’t anticipated the throw because she was sneering down at her reindeer sweater. A laughing Xander ran as fast as his human legs could take him.

“Yeah you better run Harris!” Faith wiped the snow off her face, balled up a clump of snow, and aimed.

Must run! Must run! Those were the thoughts running through Xander Harris’ head while he ran for his life. Any moment now a very pissed off slayer would tackle him and he liked his head not buried in the snow.

Womp! Thud!

“Whoo! Take that hyena boy!” Faith had hit Xander in the back of his head which made him fall face first into the snow. Anya stood over him and rolled her eyes.

“You knew she would catch up with you eventually…why did you do it?”

“Hey, it’s those little moments in life where you savor the look of surprise after hitting Faith in the face with a snowball. Then, after the moment is over you run for your life.” He brushed himself off and helped Anya roll up pieces for her snowman.

Kennedy and Faith immediately took off chasing each other with snowballs. They looked like little kids.

“Aww, look at them all Buffy. We’re like a family again.” Willow and Buffy were sat on a bend watching their friends play and laugh.

“And don’t they look so cute in their sweaters?” Buffy squealed in delight. Willow just laughed.
The brunette slayers had a plan of their own. They made eye contact while Faith spoke just so Kennedy could hear.

“Lets make them regret putting us in these lame ass sweaters.”

“On three?”

“One…three!”

Willow and Buffy were enjoying the snowy weather and talking about the old times before Sunnydale became a crater. Though their past time was interrupted when two brunette slayers ran and picked the girls up; slinging them over their shoulders in a fireman’s hold.

“Gahh! Faith!”

“Eep Kennedy!”

Buffy and her best friend were dropped into a snow bank. The two brunette slayers were holding their sides while they laughed.

“Serves you right for putting us in these things!” Faith pointed at her girlfriend. Willow and Buffy did not have amused looks on their faces when they dug themselves out of the snow bank.

“I’m gonna…” Buffy fumed.

“Not funny…” Willow scowled.

Both snow covered girls stomped inside. A miffed ex demon was not far behind.

“Now that was priceless!” Kennedy was trying to catch her breath.

“Anya! The hyena thing was a long time ago…” Xander called out to his girlfriend. Faith patted him on the back.

“Don’t worry Xan man. She’ll forget all about your yen for B when you were dog boy. I know I did a long time ago.”

“Can we get the tree now?” Kennedy was taking practicing swings with the axe.

“Sure Brownie. The girls need time to cool off.” The three headed off into the forest.

~Back in the cabin~

“I can’t believe they!”

“I know…and I thought they liked the sweaters.”

“Well, I know they didn’t exactly adore them like we do Buff…but that’s no reason to toss us in the snow unawares.”

“Maybe we should give them a taste of their own medicine.” The blonde slayer smiled.

“Oooh Buffy. I see that look in your eyes…what do you propose we do?” Buffy’s smile grew even wider while she dug through her duffel bag.

~An Hour Later~

“Oof! Xander…watch where you direct the end! You almost took me out!” Kennedy dodged the Christmas tree’s trunk for the third time.

“Well, I wouldn’t have so much trouble if either one of you gave me a hand.” Xander looked pretty funny trying to carry the humongous tree all by his lonesome.

“Sorry X-man. I was grown up to believe that the women chop down the trees and the men carry them.”

“Willow! Buffy! Anya! Honeys we’re home!”

“Maybe they’re still miffed at us.”

“Nahh. B’ll get over it.”

“Let’s get out of these clothes....” Xander started to peel off his jacket while two brunettes raised their eye brows at him.

“Before we catch cold. What? Anya makes me take off my wet clothes before I catch cold. Oh, you thought I meant…haha…no I didn’t…” Anya walked into the living room with her bathrobe on.

“Xander! Why don’t you have your wet clothes off! Jeez, haven’t I told you enough that the worst colds come after having your wet clothes on?” She dragged him back into their room.

“Yo Ken. I’m gonna take a quick shower and get ready for the party down the street.”

“Yeah, I’ll take one after. I’m gonna check up on Willow.”

~~~

Faith was standing in front of the bathroom mirror applying her mascara. She was wearing her tight read top with the v-neck and string tied back. If only I had my bra then I could push the twins up, she thought.

“B…are you sure you didn’t find my bra?”

Buffy sat on their bed reading and merely pointed out the window. Faith ran out of the cabin with a towel clad Kennedy behind her.

“Ahh come on! It was only snow!” Kennedy whined while her teeth chattered.

Both brunettes’ bras were slung on the branches of the tree outside the cabin window. They looked like Christmas tree ornaments on a tree…but bras.

“The only thing left is to get them down.” Faith rubbed her chin and thought.

“I dunno. But all I know is that I’m not go…”

Faith picked up Kennedy mid sentence and threw her up on a branch. Luckily the smaller brunette landed feet first on the branch.

“Faith! When I get down here I’m gonna...”

“Just get our bras Brownie!”

“If you look up my towel Willow will fry you!” Kennedy yelled back down at her partner in crime.

“Bras Brownie! Hey, isn’t it a little cold out here?” She wiggled her eye brows.

Kennedy finally got their bras and leapt from the tree branch into Faith’s arms. The taller brunette cradled her friend in her arms and walked back in the cabin. They were greeted by a smug looking blonde and red head.

“Serves you right!” They both sing songed.

Faith and Kennedy were on them like white on rice. Faith pinned Buffy’s hands above her head and sat on her kicking legs. Kennedy took Faith’s bra and strapped it on the squirming blonde. She duct taped it on for good measure too.

“Oh goddess Buffy!” Willow covered her mouth trying not to laugh.

“Oh no you don’t Red!” Faith leered at the now pale red head and grabbed the duck tape from Kennedy.

“You’re not getting off that easy baby.” Kennedy pinned her girlfriend down while Faith strapped and duct taped on Kennedy’s bra to the wiggling red head.

“Haha! Is it cold baby?” Faith and Kennedy laughed while running back into their rooms.

“Oh my god! They’re snow cones!” Willow wailed in agony trying to find scissors.

“I think my nipples have frost bite!” Buffy jumped from foot to foot. It looked like she was doing Xander’s Snoopy dance but with a painful look on her face and frantically waving her hands in the air.

“Buffy…just rip the bras off us! Use your slayer strength!”

“I can’t…too cold! And the duct tape is on too tight!”

“Looking for this?” Faith dangled a pair of scissors from her hand.

Both girls looked at Faith in the doorway and ran towards her. Though neither of them were in the right state of mind to avoid a head on collision. Buffy and Willow collapsed on the floor rubbing their heads. Faith decided to give them a break and cut the icy bras off. Anya and Xander were in their doorway watching the whole scene. They might as well of had a bowl of popcorn in their hands because it seems that it had been very amusing to watch the fiasco.

“Xan-man, if you’re done watching, can you get some more fire wood? Seems Red and Twinkie need some warmth. Ken wouldn’t mind some heat either.”

Kennedy, teeth still chattering, wrapped a blanket around herself and Willow. Faith grabbed the couch throw and wrapped it around Buffy while her teeth chattered also. The blonde spoke up first.

“Lets agree to never play pranks with snow ever again.”

“Here here!” The three agreed. However, the ex demon thought otherwise.

“Oh no…please continue on with the highly amusing pranks! Xander and I thought it was quite humorous.” Anya smiled cheerily and nodded her head

~Outside~

“How come I always have to get the wood?” Xander grumpily piled the logs in his arms. A tall hooded figure emerged from behind a tree. The brunette gave a yelp and dropped the logs.

“Alone at last my sweet.” The tall hooded figure stalked closer towards Xander.

“Who are you? What are you?” Xander stood in what a slayer would call ‘a lame fighting stance’.

“I’m going to take you away from these mere mortals. You will be my princess of the dark for eternity.” The tall hooded figure was three feet away from touching distance of Xander.

“Princess? Eternity? I’m a guy! Wait a second…I’ve heard this before! Sweet has already done this story before buddy!” The dark figure removed his hood.

Xander couldn’t believe his eyes. There stood an eight foot deer-like demon in front of him. Instead of standing on four legs, it stood on its hind legs. The Deer demon was complete with pointy antlers and cloven hands. From where Xander was standing he could also tell that the Deer demon was male.

“Oh great googly moogly!” Those were the last words Xander muttered before blacking out.

~~~~~
What will happen to our dear Xander Harris? Please review and I will promise to update soon before New Years!
~AsianObsidian~