Lost and Forgoten Series

Xander stood by the door with his head resting against it, tears streaming down his face.
‘What the hell are you doing? Spike’s standing right outside and wants to talk to you. Why the hell is the door shut? Is he even still there?’
Xander listened to the sounds filtering through the door. The sound of rain falling on the sidewalk, thunder rumbling overhead and a strange keening sound.
Xander looked through the spy hole out in to the world.
‘One last look at him before I let him leave.’
The last thing he expected to see was Spike standing in the rain hands clenched at his side head thrown back as the rain poured down over him, drenching him, the keening sound Xander had heard was clearly emanating from Spike.
Xander banged his head against the door before opening it again.
Spike fell silent, as he looked at Xander, surprised that he had opened the door again.
“There will be rules.” Xander stated firmly.
“Rules pe…luv?” Spike asked softly confused yet elated at the sudden change of mind that Xander appeared to have had.
“Yes rules. If you want to come in then you have to promise to leave if I want you to and you can’t touch me. Is that understood?” Xander asked as he stepped back from the door.
“Yes luv I promise” Spike nodded franticly ‘Anything just as long as I get to talk to you. Get to explain’
Xander stared at Spike trying to see if Spike would keep his word before turning and walking away down the hall, he called over his shoulder to Spike as he walked through the door at the end of the hall.
“Then you had best come in Spike.”
Spike quickly followed Xander in to what proved to be the sitting room.
Cream walls and black leather sofa and chair, a black iron and glass coffee table with a red rug under it and a full screen television made up the room. Spike looked around in surprise.
This room just screamed vampire.
Looking over at Xander he realised that he was closed off from him, his face was blank as he stood facing Spike and his eye was dull with pain. The usual fiery passion that was present was gone.
“Luv. Can we talk now?”
Xander sighed and sat down in the chair leaving the sofa for Spike.
“Say what you have to if you must.” Xander answered his voice cold and tried.
Spike fiddled with the edge of his duster and walked over to crouch in front of Xander, but left enough space between them so as not to risk breaking his promise not to touch.
Six months ago I… well I sort of came back but not really. I had been trapped in the amulet and when Peaches opened it, I popped out.
We don’t know why.” Spike looked up into Xander’s eye. Sighing, he looked down again. The distant interest Xander’s eye had causing his unbeating heart to clench in pain.
“When I came back I was a ghost. I wanted to contact you but I worried it would hurt you more to find out that I was back but not as I was. Then we found out I was being slowly pulled into hell. I decided not to tell you I was part way back because if I left again it would hurt you so much.”
Taking a deep and unnecessary breath, Spike looked up at Xander.
“After a few months, Fred managed to give me back my body, this meant I wouldn’t be pulled into hell but we didn’t know if it would last. She said we could only wait and see.” Spike grimaced in sorrow. “So again I waited until she could tell me I wasn’t going to disappear. Then the whole rogue slayer thing happened. That’s why I didn’t want anyone to know I was back when I saw Andrew.” Spike got to his feet and paced restlessly for a few moments before returning to crouch in front of Xander again.
“A few weeks later Fred told me she was sure I was back for good so I started to look for you. Angel asked... well told me really not to contact the Slayers council and because he was the one paying for my blood and stuff I had no choice but too obey. I used my few remaining Demon contacts to try to find you but every time I got word it was that you had been in this place or that place but had moved on and no one knew where you had gone.
I soon realised that this wouldn’t work so I wrote to your address in London hoping that it would be sent to where ever you were. I guess you never got it.”
“You sent me a letter to tell me you were back?” Spike jumped in surprise as Xander spoke. He could only nod in response.
Xander got to his feet and walked out of the room waving to Spike to get him to stay where he was.
He was soon back carrying a large, thick brown, unopened envelope with him.
Opening it he emptied the contents out on the table.
“This is my mail for the past six months I moved around so much they kept it for me and sent it here.”
Xander looked through the pile of letters before him.
Spotting the letter he had written Spike reached out and pulled it from the pile and handed it to him.
Xander stared at it for a few minuets before opening and reading it.

Beloved,

I’m not sure how to say this but I’m back from the dead as it were. I’m in LA with the poof. Please contact me. I miss you so much. Can’t sleep without you.
I don’t know what else to say. Could you please at least let me know that you got this letter or I’ll keep trying to find you.
I’ll wait for you to contact me and will explain every thing then.

Eternally yours

William.

Spike watched as Xander read the letter tense and nervous about Xander’s reaction.
When Xander finally looked up his eye was filled with tears.
Xander reached out and cupped Spike’s cheek with one hand the other still clutching the letter.
“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I thought you didn’t want me I understand now. I love you”
Spike leaned in to Xander’s hand.
“Can I hold you?” he asked softly.
When Xander nodded he move slowly to wrap himself around his boy cradling him to his chest as they wept.
Spike buried his nose in Xander’s hair and kissed his head whispering softly “I love you.“

The End?