Here Without You

2 months later

"Honey I'm home.” William grandly exclaimed as he entered their room. He saw Buffy sitting at her desk, crouched over a book while scribbling madly on the notebook paper she had spread out in front of her.

"How did the midterm go?” She asked, not looking up.

"Surprisingly well," he smirked. "It's amazing what studying mixed with a little bullshitting can do.” He walked over to her and peeked curiously over her shoulder. "Calculus?" he inquired.

"Yeah," she answered. "My test is today and I still don't know half of this crap. At least I know they'll give me credit for spelling my name correctly. They will give me credit for that right?” Buffy asked finally taking a moment to look up at William.

"Not sure, I think it depends on the teacher,” he said. Noticing the troubled look on her face, he quickly amended, "But I'm sure that you don't have anything to worry about. You're going to do fine."

"Wah!” Buffy replied slamming down her pencil on the desk. "This doesn't make any sense."

"I'm sure it does," William tried to reassure her. "Here let me see.” With that he took the paper she had been scribbling on and studied it carefully. When he was done he looked at her with a raised eyebrow and said, "You're right this doesn't make any sense."

"See," she exclaimed snatching the paper back from him. "It's senseless.” Buffy began to rub her temple with the palm of her hand in frustration.

"But, at least you know that, so you're learning.” William tried to comfort her. He decided to take matters into his own hands and began to lightly massage her shoulders.

"Mmm," she moaned. "That feels good."

William leaned down so he could softly whisper in her ear, "When's your test, love?"

Buffy glanced at her alarm clock and sighed. "Twenty minutes and counting. In fact, I should probably get going because I'm meeting Willow on North Campus. We're going to walk to class together and go get coffee after."

"Well, just make sure that you're home no later than 8:30. Remember we're going out tonight.” William stopped massaging her shoulders and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "I think you're in need of some non-school related fun, wouldn't you agree?"

"I know. I didn't forget.” Buffy rose from her desk and gathered her things for class. "I'm off to fail miserably."

"It's good to have a goal love,” William replied sarcastically.

Buffy playfully swatted him on the arm and leaned in for a quick kiss. "I'll be home by 7:30 at the latest.” She turned to leave and heard him call out to her.

"Good luck baby, I love you."

She turned and smiled. "I love you too.” With that Buffy stepped out of her room and made her way to North Campus.


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"So how did you do?” Willow asked as soon as Buffy stepped out of the auditorium. Willow had been the first student in the class to finish her exam and had been impatiently waiting for her friend to emerge.

"Words cannot describe how much that sucked,” Buffy groaned. "I am in major need of some caffeinated refreshment.”

"Well luckily they sell coffee in the coffee shop,” Willow smiled as she and her friend exited the building together. They walked quickly to the Starbucks across the street from campus and made their orders. They decided on an outside table and sat to enjoy conversation and their tall non-fat lattes.

"So how are things with you and William?” Willow asked in a suggestive tone. "Still snuggly?"

"You could say that.” Buffy tried to hide the grin that was forming on her face. "Things have been really hectic since midterms started. We haven't been able to see much of each other, but when we do it's...nice."

"Yeah I'll bet,” Willow replied again with her suggestive tone. "Well, luckily midterms are over, and you'll have him all to yourself again, not to mention all the brainless fun we're going to have tonight."

"Yeah.” Buffy replied.

Willow cast her friend a questioning look. She and Buffy had been best friends ever since Willow could remember; she could tell when her friend was holding something back. This was undoubtedly one of those times.

"Buffy” Willow started, " You have ‘But Face’.” Willow told her.

"What?” Buffy exclaimed.

"You know, ‘But Face’. Like you're about to throw a big ‘But’ in the middle of your happiness,” Willow explained.

Buffy's only response was the confused, almost frightened look on her face.

"B-U-T.” Willow further explained. "Not B-U-T-T, ya perv,” Willow smiled.

Buffy couldn't help but laugh and shake her head. When the laughter subsided her face turned serious again. "Well maybe a little ‘but’."

"So then we're definitely not talking about yours,” Willow joked.

"Bitch!” Buffy exclaimed, throwing her napkin at her friend pretending to be offended.

"I'm sorry,” Willow laughed. "That was too easy."

"Like I was saying,” Buffy continued. "There are a couple of things that I'm trying to work through."

"Like what?” Willow probed.

"Well do you want me to start with the minor or the major?” Buffy asked.

"There's a major... oh man this is serious.” Willow gasped, the conversation taking a definite turn for the somber.

"Yeah,” Buffy replied.

"Major like what?” Willow continued to probe.

"Major like I still haven't told my mom that we're living together,” Buffy answered with a guilty look.

"That's major?” Willow asked obviously confused.

"Well yeah, in the sense that I promised William that I would tell her like two months ago. He's going to be pissed if he finds out."

"So when are you going to tell her?” Willow asked, taking a sip of her now lukewarm latte.

"I was thinking that if I could make it until Christmas break I would tell her then.” Buffy paused slightly to taste her own drink, and then continued. "I've just been so stressed with the move, and the adjusting and the midterms that the added stress of a pissed off mom is so not something I want to deal with."

"That's understandable,” Willow nodded in agreement. "So what else? There was a "minor" if I recall correctly."

"Oh yeah, well you have to promise you won't say anything to anyone. Not even to Tara.” Buffy looked at Willow who was just nodding her head. "Do you promise?"

"Of course,” Willow agreed.

"I'msortoflate” Buffy rambled taking another sip of her coffee.

"What? Okay back up a sec, I thought I just heard you say that you were late?” Her friend exclaimed.

"Yeah, you heard right.”

"Okay, that's what you call minor? I think we need to seriously re-think your problem labeling.” Willow's eyes were now wide with wonder as she stared at her friend. "Does William know?"

"Not yet. And it's not really that big of a deal. I'm just late right now, and it's not like that's never happened before. It could be anything; like I said I've been really stressed.” Buffy took a deep breath and then continued. "The way I see it is there's nothing to worry about until there's something to worry about. If I'm not, great. If I am, then we'll deal. William's not going to run from something like this.”

"Totally, I definitely do not see William as the impregnate and vacate type; he is so in love with you. Buffy, this is a big deal. Are you going to take a test?” Willow was starting to get frantic. She hadn't expected this kind of news.

"Well I thought that I would actually do that this weekend. Since midterms are officially over, that takes a load off. Will, I know what a big deal this is, I just don't see the point in getting all freaked out until I know for sure.” Buffy gave Willow a reassuring smile and went back to her latte.

"I'll be worried enough for the both of us, how's that?” Willow asked trying to smile at her friend.

"Deal,” Buffy agreed. "Now let's get out of here. We're going to be late and I promised William I'd be home by 7:30."


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William was standing in front of his closet, fresh from a shower with a towel around his waist, searching for the proper attire for his evening activities. It wasn't often that he got to go out with all of his friends from Sunnydale, and the fact that he would get a little undistracted quality time with Buffy made him want to look extra special. He decided on her favorite: black jeans, black t-shirt, and a red button down dress shirt. He smiled at his appearance in the full-length mirror and thought, This bird's totally domesticated you mate. William noticed a small flashing light behind him reflecting in the mirror: the answering machine. Realizing that someone must have called while he was in the shower, and he had been too busy ogling at clothes to notice, he walked over to the table that held the machine and pressed the play button. "You have one new message,” the mechanical voice rang out. "Buffy, hi it's Mom. I've been trying to call you to see what your plans for Thanksgiving were, but you never seem to be home anymore. I guess college is keeping my baby busy. Just call me whenever you get the chance. I love you sweetie...Oh by the way, I need you to give me William's new number if he has one. When I couldn't get in touch with you I thought that I would try you at his place and kept getting the message that the phone had been disconnected. Did he decide to move closer to campus after all? Let me know hon., take care." William felt a lump rise in his throat. Not only had Buffy broken her promise to him, she'd been lying to him for the past two months. He was barely able to control the anger that was rising inside of him. So much so, that he began to tremble.


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Buffy smiled contentedly as she looked around the small table at each of her friends. They had decided to go out to dinner and then to the Georgia Theatre for Retro Night. Willow had a strange weakness for oldies, and the rest of the group had a strange weakness for watching Willow do her infamous Village People impression. All in all, the evening promised to be chock full of brainless fun for everyone. Everyone that is, except for William . Buffy noticed right away when she returned to their room that he was in a foul mood. She tried to question him on it but he just shrugged her off and said that he was exhausted from his exams. Buffy could relate to the exhaustion, but she had a feeling it was something more. He had barely touched her all night. She had her hand resting on his thigh at the moment and would give him a gentle squeeze every now and then to let him know that she was there. He wouldn't even look at her. Instead he focused his attention on Xander and their conversation about the current fraternity house renovation.

When Tara got up to go to the restroom, Willow leaned across the table towards Buffy and whispered, “Is it just me or is it a little cold in here?”

"You noticed too?” Buffy asked with disappointment in her voice. She had hoped that she was just being silly in thinking that William was not acting like his normal self.

"A little." Willow admitted. "Did you have ‘the talk’ yet, or rather ‘the talks’?” she asked, .looking worried.

"Not yet. I was thinking I would sit him down tonight, but now I'm thinking that's not such a good idea.” Buffy grimaced. "I just wish he would tell me what's got him so pissy."

"Are we discussing William's mood?” Anya interjected, growing bored with the boys’ conversation. All Buffy could do was nod in response.

"What's wrong with him?” Anya whispered

"That's the question before the court,” Willow answered.

"Maybe Xander could talk to him.” Tara added having returned to Willow's side catching the tail end of the conversation.

"Um, Xander is going to be preoccupied tonight, with orgasms,” Anya protested.

"That's okay Ahn, I think I'll handle this one.” Buffy reassured her. The evening progressed with light conversation amongst the group. The tension between Buffy and William was mounting, and Buffy could feel it. She had tried to take his hand after he was done eating but he had just gotten up quickly from the table, stating that he had to ‘hit the head.’ Buffy couldn't help but wonder what she had done to upset him so. He was perfectly fine before she went to class. It was when they were getting ready to leave that Buffy decided that she had had enough. The waiter brought the check around and Anya was busy trying to decide who owed what.

William handed Xander his credit card and said, "Here mate, you know what we had. I need some fresh air, just give it to me in the car."

"Sure thing, man.” Xander smiled at his friend and took the card.

William nodded in thanks and stood from the table grabbing his coat. He then proceeded to walk out of the restaurant. Buffy wasn't far behind him. He hadn't asked her to join him, but she needed to know what was going on and she needed to know now.

When she reached the door she could see him standing in the middle of the parking lot. there was a cloud billowing above his head, which told Buffy that he was smoking a cigarette, a habit she thought he had quit months ago. That is it, Buffy thought, striding towards him.

"William,” she called out. Buffy waited a minute and when he didn't respond she tried again, this time with more volume. "William.” Still no response. "Spike!” Buffy almost screamed his nickname.

William turned around to face her, glad that she was far enough away from him to hide the tears that were now staining his face. He didn't speak; he only watched as she began to walk over to where he was. He could hear claps of thunder in the distance and the faint smell of Georgia rain tickled his nose. Weather to fit the mood I guess, he thought to himself.

"What the hell are you doing?” she exclaimed as she reached him.

"What the bleeding hell does it look like I'm doing Summers? I'm having a smoke.” William replied coldly as he turned away from her.

"You told me you quit smoking,” Buffy accused.

"Yeah I guess I did.” William replied.

"What the hell is wrong with you tonight? You've been all bad moody ever since I got home,” Buffy continued.

"I told you, I'm tired,” William growled. He did not want to have this conversation here.

"Too tired to look at me?” Buffy asked with equal animosity in her voice. Her patience was seriously starting to weaken. William turned around to look at her when she said that and Buffy saw the hurt in his eyes and on his face. She could tell that he had been crying and began to soften her tone. "Please tell me what's going on?” she pleaded.

"I can't, not now.” He replied stamping out the finished cigarette. He began to walk past her towards the car but Buffy grabbed his arm to stop him.

"You have to talk to me, please don't shut me out,” she begged her own tears threatening to fall.

"You mean like you've shut me out these past two months?” William replied in an accusatory tone.

"What are you talking about?” Buffy asked.

"You know bloody well what I'm talking about.” William stared a hole right through Buffy. He was glad when it finally began to rain because he could feel fresh tears forming behind his eyes and did not want her to see him break down.

"I really don't,” Buffy replied.

"You lied to me,” William finally admitted. "For the past two months you've done nothing but lie to me. I know for a fact that you haven't told your mum that we're living together. You promised me, or was that just another lie?” William asked his tears falling freely now, cloaked by the quickening rainfall.

"William, I ...” Buffy trailed off not knowing what to say to him.

"You what? Are you ashamed of me, Buffy? Because I honestly can't think of another reason why you wouldn't want to tell you mother that you're living with me."

"Of course not,” Buffy replied, her own tears beginning to fall. "I just wanted to get through midterms without her freaking out on me."

"Then why didn't you tell me that? Why did you promise me you would tell her then lie about it?” William's voice was beginning to break with the strain of his emotion.

"William, I'm sorry. It's not that big of a deal, I'll tell her tomorrow. We can tell her together,” Buffy pleaded trying to placate him.

William smirked at her efforts. "If it's not that big of a deal, then why are you sorry?” With that, he shook his head and walked over to his car. Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara were all gathered outside now watching the scene unfold. They watched a now soaked William walk over to his black DeSoto and stand beside the passenger door. Xander was the first to reach his friend and nodded in agreement when William suggested they forego Retro Night and just head back to the dorm. Buffy walked slowly over to where her friends were.

Oh my god what have I done? Buffy thought to herself as she neared the car. She reached into her purse and took out the keys to William's car and slowly handed them to him.

"I don't think I need to drive right now,” he told her coldly.

Buffy flinched slightly at his response. All she could do was nod for fear of bursting into tears. She climbed into the drivers seat, and William sat next to her. Anya sat in Xander's lap with Willow and Tara in the spacious back seat. Buffy slowly started the engine and began to drive toward the dorm. She was trying to take it slow because the now pounding rain was making it increasingly hard to see. She looked over at William who was keeping his eyes straight ahead watching the windshield wipers dance in front of him.

"William, I swear I didn't mean to hurt you, I just ..."

"Buffy watch the road." William cut her off turning slightly towards her.

She nodded, keeping her eyes on his pained expression. She only looked away from the road for a moment, a second really. The next thing she heard was Willow screaming from the backseat.

"Oh my God Buffy watch out!"

Buffy turned in time to see the two lights of what looked like a pick up truck headed straight towards them. The lights kept getting brighter as Buffy tried to rationalize what she needed to do.

Turn Buffy, turn now. Buffy gripped the wheel and frantically began to turn, trying to miss the oncoming vehicle. The next thing Buffy heard was a loud crash as the truck came in contact with the passenger side of the DeSoto. Then the world was spinning over and over again. The last thing Buffy remembered was calling out the name “William” before the world went black.