Nobody's Home

I wake up when the sun is in my eyes and there’s a bus conductor standing over me.
“Miss?” he yells prodding me. I open my eyes slowly one at first then the other. Why the fuck am I lying in the bus station.
“Are you on drugs?” he asks me. What the hell? What’s it to him if I am?
“No err um where am I?” I sit up, my head is pounding. How long was I asleep for?
“Are you lost?” he asks me monotonously. I sit up and push him away. A line of coke will fix all this, I stumble over to the ladies toilets and make up a line on the counter I sniff it up quickly and rub my nose and shake my head from the rush.
I walk back out into the warm sun and walk down the street taking in the new sights and sounds of this busy city.

I head into a bar and find some poor delusional fool to buy me some drinks. I tell him I’ll make it worth his while. He seems satiated by this and keeps me satisfied with Jack Daniels and Cokes for the night. When the bar person rings the bell for final orders he finishes his drink and takes me by the hand and takes me into the cold night. We go back to his flat, it’s a nice apartment, but I figure in this city they’re all pretty alright. He turns the lamps on and tells me to sit down and make myself at home, except I don’t get that far I’m about to reach the sofa when I collapse just in front of it falling to the floor.

“Yo babe?” He holds my head up and I slowly and dazedly open my eyes and look at the guy in front of me. He passes me a glass of water; I take it from him and sip the cool liquid. I sit up properly and look around me.
“I’m so sorry” I whisper looking at the plant I knocked over when I fell.
“It’s ok…are you alright?” he asks me genuinely worried. I smile and nod and clumsily stand up, he helps me and he walks me to his bed. I lie on it and wait for him to join me, I kiss him passionately darting my tongue in his mouth and massaging mine against his. He lays me backwards and runs his hands down my body and back up again reaching under my t shirt. He caresses my breasts softly then reaches down and up my skirt rubbing my moistening clit with his strong fingers. He releases himself from his jeans and wanks himself harder, he pushes my skirt around my waist and pulls my knickers down. He positions himself between my legs and pushes inside me; I lie back and close my eyes, so sleepy…

I wake up early the next morning and pull my knickers on; the guy is flat out on the bed next to me. I sure hope he enjoyed it… I go through his cupboards and fridge and take some cookies and chips to eat and leave him to it.

For the first two weeks in the new city I did this every night as a means for somewhere to sleep and every time I end up falling asleep on them. I wake up, it’s Saturday and I look at the random bloke lying next to me and sit up, I pull my clothes on and find his wallet, I take the $40 he has and take the Doritos from the cupboard. I walk onto the street, I’ve used all the coke I had and I’m desperate for a boost. I leisurely dawdle around, eating the potato chips slowly, I think about things again, it’s been a month since I last saw Buffy; I kind of miss her presence.

I walk into a different bar and wait in the corner; I look around at the different people in here, wondering which one can give me some coke. My eyes land on a bloke surrounded by beautiful women, he’s wearing sunglasses and a suit. I roll my eyes to myself, why is he wearing sunglasses inside…what a prick. I sidle over to him and wait for him to acknowledge me.
“What can I do for you pretty lady?” he asks me without looking at me.
“I err…need…” I think of the right words to say in case he isn’t a dealer.
“No problem, how much you got?” He jumps in
“I have $40” I say disheartened, it won’t get me much but anything will do for now. He reaches into his inside pocket and pulls out a small bag of white powder and places it on the table. I take the $40 out of my pocket and lay it in front of him before snatching my coke up.
“Thanks” I say before turning on my heel and walking to the toilets. I make a small line on the counter, I want to make it last as long as possible. I snort it up and hold my head; it hits me hard like a punch in the face. I stagger backwards but regain my posture and walk back into the bar, I look around I don’t see anyone who I can take advantage of tonight, I head out into the darkening city, the sky is slowly turning a midnight blue. The coke still hasn’t settled on me, I stumble down the street and walk into people, I try to move out of the way and end up falling over the curb and fall onto the road. A car swerves to miss me, I slowly climb my way back on the sidewalk and sit for a minute, my head is completely spinning, I rock back and forth helplessly then fall backwards banging my head on the concrete floor.

A police officer stands over me and tries to stand me up, my legs buckle beneath me, I feel myself frothing at the mouth, when I open my eyes it’s blurry.
“Help me please” I beg the officer before falling to the floor again. He speaks into his mobile for an ambulance, I sit at his feet sobbing and coughing up vomit and blood. I cover my mouth with my hand but my hand becomes covered in the sticky mess, the sight of the blood shocks me and I cry hysterically.

The ambulance arrives and I’m taken to the nearest hospital, the paramedic walks me into reception, sits me down and tells me to wait. He adds my name to the list with the receptionist and leaves me there. I look around, everything is still blurry I wobble about on the chair. I glare at the floor and see red under my chair, I move forward for a closer look and fall forwards off the chair, on my hands and knees I see blood all over the chair, I kneel upwards and look down on myself, my denim skirt is drenched in blood. I start screaming at the mess, I stand up and clamber my way over to reception.
“I’m dying, please god help me, I’m dying” I shriek at anyone who may hear me, I stagger backwards and look around the room, no one even bothers to help me, I sob loudly blood still running down my legs.
“Someone…help…me…please” I whisper for anyone to acknowledge me, I drop to the floor and cry my hands red from the blood that’s everywhere. I feel light headed and fall forwards into a heap. I think I’m dead.