Saying It With Flowers

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Xander/William
Rating: G then R then NC17 ( but not till later…..he he he)
Author: Mightbeme
E-mail: Lee_Michelle_t@hotmail.com
Feedback: Yes please
Disclaimer: Not mine, don’t own em (pout…stamps foot….dammit) they belong to Joss etc.
Spoilers: Up to Grave and then we take a left and head off road.
Thanks: To my wonderful friend Meg for encouraging me to finish this and for being the best beta in the world. Thanks also to the many people who sent me feedback I really appreciate it.

Notes: Thoughts in * * flashbacks in # #

Saying It With Flowers

Part 4 Xander

The door made a satisfying thump as it slammed shut behind me. I left the apartment, taking the steps two at a time, anger driving me away as quick as I could move.

*Damm Buffy, damm him, why does he have to stay with me. It’s not enough he ruined my life, slept with the woman I loved, slept with my best friend, now he has to live with me again…..god its dejavu. Am I never going to be rid of that bleached blonde pest. *

Still angry I hauled open the truck’s door and slid into the seat banging it shut as well. Revving the engine I sped off to work, eventually winding down a bit on the way. The day went from bad to worse, nothing went right, and orders for timber weren’t delivered on time. My crew sat on their hands for an hour before it was sorted out. Then the plumbers found a problem with the drainage for the site, which added somewhere in the neighborhood of three G’s to the job estimate. By the end of the day I was about ready to tear my hair out, and thanked god I only had tomorrow before the weekend. My smile faded as I remembered just what awaited me at home.

#“Sodden sleeping chair is bloody – sodden.” #

#The quake just knocked a couple of pipes lose. There is a wrench hanging up over there by the workbench. Try tightening the coupling.” #

#” Look like a plumber to you?” #

#“No, you look like a big mooch that doesn’t lift a finger around here. But I have to get to work.”#

# “Yeah delivering melted cheese on bread, doing your part to keep America constipated.”#
*God what did I do to deserve this?*
I drove away from the site, my head pounding and my body aching from busting ass to help my guys get the job back on time. I parked and staggered up the stairs to my apartment, frowning at the unlocked door as I stepped inside. Quiet laughter drifted to me from the kitchen and I looked around in surprise. The place was tidy, no ashtrays overflowing with cigarette butts, the TV was off and the radio was on. Soft classical music filled the air and the door to Spike’s room stood open.

I hung up my coat and noticed for the first time the vase of flowers on the side table. The fresh, clean scent drifted to me, tickling my nose with its unexpected fragrance. I breathed in deeply, feeling a little of the tension disappear. Reaching out to touch a delicate blue petal, I felt the softness caress the tips of my fingers. I had no idea what kind of flowers they were, only noticing that three different kinds of plants made up the group. Something bright green and leafy wound around the dark blue and purple blooms, contrasting nicely. The broad leaves bruised easily, a familiar scent rising to waft around me. I shook my head, clearing it of the unknown plants, my smile fading as I headed towards the kitchen and the voices I’d heard. Pushing open the door, I saw Buffy perched on the kitchen counter. Her blonde hair hung down around her face as she laughed at something Spike had said. A wave of negative emotion surged through me and I tried to push it down.

“Hi Buffy, Spike”

B swu swung her legs, drumming her heels lightly on the cupboard under her. Her attention focused on me and I could see the plea in her eyes to at least be civil.

“William”

“Oh, sorry…. William” I said a little sarcastically, dragging out a chair and dropping gratefully into it.

“Had a hard day at work Xan?”

I rolled my head and then my shoulders, stretching the kinks of the day out or trying to at least.

“You could say that Buff, so how was your day? You two get up to much?”

* Oh geez, suspicious much Xander.. what did you think, that they probably spent the day doin’ the horizontal mambo? *
#Oh, like, uh, "Say, you're evil. Get on me"? #
# You fought side by side with him when I was gone. You let him take care of Dawn#
# But I never forgot what he really is. God, what were you thinking? #
# You're asking me that? Oh, 'cause your decision making skills have really sparkled lately. #
# I'm not saying I didn't make any mistakes. But last time I checked, slaughtering half of Europe wasn't one of them. He doesn't have a soul, Buffy. Just some leash they jammed in his head. You think he'd still be all snuggles if that chip ever stopped working? Would you still trust him with Dawn then? #
# It doesn't matter. I'm not seeing him anymore. It's over. #
# Yeah. There's a lot of that going around. #
I couldn’t stop the memories that spilled through my mind every time I so much as looked at Spike. As if he knew what I was thinking, he turned from where he had been doing something on the bench and glanced at me. I noticed he wasn’t wearing the same clothes I’d given him. Damm if he didn’t look so much better in these than in my old baggy clothes. He gave me a small smile and ran his finger over the pocket of the shirt. I couldn’t read the letters because I was too busy noticing how the blue of the shirt exactly matched his eyes. Those eyes were so beautiful, with full lush lashes sweeping down as he looked shyly away from my gaze. A delicious pink flush rose on his cheeks and I suddenly realised he was waiting for me to say something.

*Shit, Xander.*

Mentally slapping myself, I tried saying the first stupid thing I could think of to disguise my lengthy stare. I must be more tired than I thought, noticing anything about the bleached wonder.

“I’m so tired I don’t think I can play charades right now. So why don’t you just tell me what happened to your clothes and I can go on to more interesting things, like clipping my toenails.”

Buffy glared at me and Spike flushed a deeper pink, his voice was trembled, like he was hurt. My heart sank until I reminded myself that I didn’t really care whether I hurt his feelings.

“I umm I have found employment and this is my new uniform. Since I didn’t have any suitable clothes my employer gave me two sets to wear to work.”

“So I guess you’re not saying ‘Do you want fries with that?’ then.”

I hardened my heart at the bewildered look that flashed through those innocent looking eyes. Steadfastly reminding myself that Spike had never been innocent.

“Xander stop being such a jerk. William just got a job at that cool flower shop on Main Street.”

“Oh that explains the flowers out in the living room, That’s how they’re paying you?”

“No, those are a gift for you, a thank you, for letting me stay here.”

I pushed away from the table, angry with myself for forgetting even for a minute how much I hated this man.

“Well don’t, I’m only letting you stay here until you find a place of your own. You owe me nothing…got it?”

“Xan…”

“What Buffy? I’m not about to forget who or what his is, something you seem to be conveniently able to overlook. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to go shower and watch TV. Buffy you’re welcome to stay for dinner if you want, we can order pizza”

Buffy hopped off the bench and nodded silently as I turned on my heel and headed to the bathroom. I stripped off and got into the shower, turning on the water to the right temperature. I let it stream over my head and shoulders, breathing in the steam that flowed around me. The ache in my neck relaxed a little and I stretched, my thoughts wandering back to Spike.

*God I hate him.*

All I could think of was how much he’d hurt me, hurt my friends. I savagely washed my body remembering how he’d had sex with Anya. How I’d felt watching them, the gut twisting pain of seeing the love of my life get groiny with the thing I hated above all others.

#You left me Xander, at the altar, I don’t owe you anything#

Painful didn’t apply, there had been a huge aching void instead of the gentle love and respect I’d once had for her. Anya and I still talked but I couldn’t kid myself that we’d ever get back together. Any trust we had between us was long gone.
#When this is your solution to our problems. I hurt you, and you hit me back? Very mature. #
I leant my head against the shower wall and let the water cascade over me, blinking back the tears that were prickling behind my eyes, remembering bitterly.
#I'm not joking now. You let that evil, soulless thing touch you. You wanted me to feel something? Congratulations, it worked. #
Remembering the anguish in Anya’s eyes.
# I look at you ... and I feel sick. 'Cause you had sex with that. #

Even Angel had never made me feel such loathing, and then to find out the Buffy had been sleeping with him as well.

#It’s good enough for Buffy#

It had taken time for me to get over the fact that they’d both done the worst thing imaginable, and now that thing was living with me. Confusion warred within as I thought about Spike, no not Spike…William….living, breathing, human William. A hint of a smile touched my lips, William who had looked so ridiculous in my old clothes. William who sounded nothing like Spike, his voice was soft and obviously cultured, even more so than Giles or Wesley’s. I remembered the flowers, so not a Spike thing to do. Who was William, was there anything of Spike in him, was he just lurking, waiting for a chance to come back, to make my life a misery again? I turned off the shower and shook my head spraying water everywhere. I stepped out and towelled off wrapping it around my waist and headed off to my room.

Buffy’s wolf whistle split the air and I turned to her, my answering smile frozen in place by the look I saw on William’s face. He looked embarrassed and surprised, his eyebrows high, his blue eyes wide with naive astonishment. I shut the door to my room and leaned on it for a moment wondering what I’d done to deserve that look. Dressed, I re-entered the living room, picked up the phone and ordered the pizza. When I finished making the call I bounced onto the sofa beside Buffy and picked up the remote. The music had been turned off and the TV blared into life. We sat comfortably for the rest of the night eating pizza and watching TV. After the late news Buffy rose to leave and William stood and opened the door for her, intending to walk her out. She turned and stopped him, her hand on his arm as they stood by the door.

“I’ll walk you home Buffy.”

“No William, that’s not necessary, I’ll be fine. You better get some sleep you have a full day’s work tomorrow.”

“I insist Miss Buffy, a gentleman always sees a lady home.”

I snorted from the couch and Buffy glared at me, I knew she was going to patrol, but William seemed to have no idea she was the slayer. If he tried to walk her home he was likely to get himself killed again. I sighed and stood, walking to the door so I could elbow him out of the way.

“I’ll walk you Buffy”

“Thanks. William, its ok. Xan will see me home, you’re still not sure of where you are in Sunnydale. You have a good night’s sleep and I’ll see you in the morning. Gotta be all bright eyed and bushy tailed for your first full day, right. I’ll be here at a quarter after 8 on the dot, ok?”

William nodded unhappily and I shot him a smug look as I shut the door in his face. Buffy and I walked to the nearest cemetery where we staked a few fledges that were dumb enough to tackle us. We said goodbye a while later and I headed home as she continued on her patrol. William was still up when I walked in the front door. He sighed when I appeared, like he was relieved that I made it home safely and said goodnight. I watched his door close and went to my own room, stripping off to my boxers and slipping into bed. I tossed and turned restlessly, still acutely aware of the guest in my house. Sleep was a long time coming

tbc