The Forget Me Not Series

Forget Me Not Part III- Who the Hell Are You? By Strange Bint

"My heart is like a broken cup. I only feel right on my knees. I spit out like a
sewer hole, yet still receive your kiss. How can I measure up to anyone now
after such a love as this?" The Who

"There is no such thing as a lover's oath. "--Plato

"Happiness is not an ideal of reason, but of imagination."-Kant

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Spike was pissed. He knew that this wouldn't be easy. The deeds with the big
pay-offs never are, but he couldn't believe the depths he was sinking to here.
He thought all the evil corporate crap could not taint him if he kept this job
on his terms. But he was wrong, and now he would have to pay. The horrible thing
he was about to do would stay with him. More than all the other things, because
he was doing it after Buffy made him a real man... And now he was throwing it
all away.

"W-who are you? Why- why would you want--- Who are you?" The bloke had asked
Spike. .

"Do you really wanna know?... God, people keep askin' me that and it makes me
get that bloody 'Who' song in my head... There are worse things to have stuck in
your head like this night so far, eh?" Spike said to the waiter, who handed his
pants and shirt over.

"You're tellin' me." The bloke whispered.

"Oh please!" Spike grumbled, " You're getting more than you deserve. Just gimme
your bloody clothes. I'm the one that has to go to a new low here!"

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Spike stood over the family and looked down at them. He smiled. He hoped it
didn't look too put-on. He was usually good a performing when a happy exterior
was needed,. but it had been so long since he had to deceive people that weren't
evil, and he never had to do something like this.

The mother of the family seemed dazed. The father was obviously troubled. The
older girl that was at that tender "I- have- been- a - real- grown-up for twenty
minutes" age. She was the age Spike felt he would always be forced to be at in
some way, no matter how much of an old man parts of him where. She was the age
of everyone else Spike spent most of his time with. She was the age of Buffy. In
the dimension Buffy was in she would be married to Angel three sodding years
already. Those were the only memories Buffy would have. It wasn't right. Buffy
was too young to have her whole life decided. No matter how safe and happy she
was. This girl that looked up at Spike looked like she was going to have a hard
enough time deciding what he would ask of her.

"Welcome to Friday's. Can I take your order?" Spike asked. God, was he actually
smiling. What the hell was he doing? He wasn't the kind of man to sink so low
for money. He should walk out right now. Yes, there were three of Angel's agent
Smiths watching him. Two by the bar and one by the door. That was just all the
more reason to sod the whole thing. But it wasn't about the money. He wasn't
keeping the money.

The bit had been leaning back hiding behind her big sis. She scowled as if the
whole place brassed her off. Spike thought she had the right idea.

"I want a candy store." She grumbled. Okay. She was a little too old to be
making such ridiculous requests. She was still a bit, but she was in secondary
school, or high school, or however they did it here and now.

"A candy story? That's not dinner, that is seven scoops of ice-cream!" The
mother bellowed.

Spike looked down at the obnoxiously bright menu and saw a huge cup of ice cream
with various candy thrown in. Oh, it was a stupid name for a dessert they did at
this place. It looked pretty good. He wanted one.

"Jo-jo, you have to eat something real." The father said. Spike really looked at
the bloke for the first time. So, brain surgeons weren't off on some high and
mighty plain. They could be actual parents unlike any of the fathers Spike had
known, or merely heard of because they had never been around

"Nothing is real." Jolene, the bit, said.

"A philosopher in the family." Spike smiled with false naivety.

"Oh God!" The big sis sighed and put her head in her hands.

"Jo, please! You promised you wouldn't today." The Mum pleaded, and she did
plead. She wasn't merely annoyed.

"I don't want any food." Jolene said fiercely.

"Great... I'll just order than..." The big sis said some dish with false
happiness. She was angry at the Bit as well as worried.

"Jo, fine. Just get a candy store." The father said when the girl said she still
wanted nothing. He was a man that knew when he was defeated by a woman. He had
three of them. His life had probably been fine before the boy.

"Don't indulge her, Dad!" The older one spat. Birds were so jealous when it came
to sharing a man.

"I don't want anything" The little one said. She was old enough to be a slayer.
She looked like she might cry. Spike admitted this was a mess of Angel's he was
glad to fix. Didn't he fix all the birds Angel made miserable? At least now he
was getting paid for it.

"Where's your boy?" Spike asked.

"He's running a little late. So, he said to order with out him, and he'll order
later. I hope that is no trouble." The Mum smiled.

"No." Spike smiled back.

His smile was just as fake as hers as he had his own heavy concerns. Yes, that
was trouble. That could throw the whole sodding mission off. He'd have to be in
these bloody clothes longer to make sure the boy took his medicine like everyone
else in the family. The family that gets dosed together grows together. That was
the whole sodding point of this mission wasn't it? No it wasn't. It was Peaches
not having to own up to his fuck-ups. Peaches could never look his mistakes in
the eye while he made sure they were taken care of. Hell no. That was Spike's
job. Spike looked Drusilla and Buffy in the eye and told them what was what, or
what they wanted to hear, and now he would do it for this boy too. Of course,
Spike wasn't doing it for Peaches, and he wasn't doing it for the boy. As always
it was for a girl... two of them actually.

"How did you know about Brian?" Jolene snapped suddenly.

"The other waiter, Kevin, told me" Spike explained.

"We didn't have another waiter! Who are you?" She demanded and rapped her hand
around the handle of her steak knife. Clever girl. "Do you know Brian? Do you
know Brian from his other life?"

"Jo!" The mother snapped. "Stop it! Brian has or had no other life. He told you
that himself."

"No! He told me the truth...What he couldn't tell all of you. He told me all
about his other life with the monsters. All of my dreams were true." Jolene
snarled at them.

"That was a mistake. Brian made a mistake. He only told you that you were right
because he thought it would make you feel better, and it only made you worse."
The father insisted.

"He told me the truth!" Jolene insisted.

"No. You know how much Brian loves you. That's why he told you that you were
right, but it was a lie to try to make you happy... He told you that." The
father said this softly with patience. Patience Spike was sure Peaches would
neveve wve with children.

"Excuse me." Jolene said in a mellow dramatic stage whisper and bolted towards
the "restrooms." Spike doubted the bit would get any rest there.

"She's had a bit of trouble adjusting to her brother going away to school. You
know how kids are with their big imaginations," the Mum said apologetically to
Spike.

"Don't worry" Spike said genuinely, "I'm sure it will pass." He went off slowly
still picking up their voices out of the many there with his hearing.

"A bit of trouble? Mom, she's gone psycho...or she's pretending to. So, Bri will
come home and she'll get her way... It's what we call malingering,." the big Sis
grumbled.

"One year in grad school and your already have her diagnosed as a liar. You must
be doing really well there. Too bad you're considering dropping out," the Mum
snapped.

"Stop it both of you," the Dad pleaded "If only Brian hadn't encouraged her!
What was he thinking?"

"Don't you dare blame Brian!" big Sis snapped.

"I am NOT blaming Brian. I just don't understand why he would..."

Okay. Spike heard enough. It was starting to sound like an old Scooby meeting
when Buffy had been here. Now there really weren't a lot of Scooby meetings.
There were Scooby run-ins and check-ups. Spike and Faith patrolled with Kennedy,
Amanda and Dawn. Red would pop-in to make sure that Dawn was all right. As if
Spike, Faith, and her own girl might have Dawn getting stoned or something.
Harris would tag along and pick at Spike when he was bored. But, there were no
meetings. No need. Since the Hellmouth closed there were no big bads. Still, it
was a nesting ground for vamps. When Sunnydale returned the vamps headed back
home like everyone else. Spike suspected the old Scoobies might not argue
anymore if they did meet. You had to be comfortable with people to argue with
them. Since Buffy left who was comfortable? Spike, of course, still argued with
everyone, but that was his way.

Spike got the family their food. The little black pills that Fred designed
dissolved slowly when he put them in the food, like they had never been there at
all. Spike could practically hear the eyeballs of the three agent Smiths on him
as he brought the food to the family.

"Now she's going to spend the whole time in the bathroom" The big sis was
grumbling about Jolen

still being gone.

"I need a candy store," Spike heard himself say.

"Who are you?" the girl in the kitchen window asked.

"Tell me, do you really wanna know?" he smirked.

"Huh?"

"Never mind. New waiter." he said.

"They prefer you say 'server' here. You need to be trained" she said.

"Don't train easily, love." He sighed and took the ice cream from her.

Spike saw the agent Smith stare at him as he put the little black pill in the
ice cream. The agent reported it into his cell phone as he pretended to have a
casual conversation. Spike rolled his eyes.

"With today's modern technology spying is so bloody easy, and you are all still
so sodding bad at it" He sighed to the agent, who had a good square jaw and even
a square head like they all did.

"Excuse me. Who--" He began.

"Don't even bother!" Spike scoffed and grabbed the cell-phone from him.

"What's the matter? Don't trust me, Peach? Want one of these guys to do it for
you? No, I know you don't. I'm the one that always cares for you damaged goods
best, and you know it," Spike said slyly into the phone giving Angel no time to
answer. He handed the phone back to the guy.

"I don't know what you're talking about or--" The agent Smith began.

"Then why are you whispering? What do YOU have to hide? Tell your friends by the
door we should be done in a minute...and tell Angel to hire some birds next time
because I know a bunch of blokes that look like you wouldn't be watching my
every move in this area of sodding California." Spike whispered back
obnoxiously. Moron.

"Jolene" Spike said gently as the girl came out of the bathroom. The girl looked
up startled.

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" She said regaining some courage.

"Wha?"

"You know. That is what the good witch asked Dorothy when she first came to
Oz... And I'm asking you. You're one of Brian's other life people--"

"No, I'm not." Spike insisted. He wasn't. He didn't know the boy from Adam
before, of course now he had all of Angel's son's "Stats." Come to think of
Adam, this was all very "Initiative-like."

"Then how did you know my name was Jolene?" she demanded.

"Your parents--"

"Only call me 'Jo' or 'Jo-jo'" she completed. Very clever girl.

"This is melting. I figured you could eat it here and no one would have to
know," he said.

"Jolene?" The Mum called from the end of the hallway an Agent Smith had blocked
her view.

"Um..Mam.." he said "We just need to close this hallway off for a sec. We
spilled some food."

"There. She just called you 'Jolene'" Spike insisted.

"My daughter..." The poor woman said. This was all wrong. Messing with these
people's heads. Maybe he should.... The Bit had already begun eating the ice
cream.

"That's only when she can't find me...Coming Mom," Jolene called.

"So, I'm going to say you are a good witch. A bad witch wouldn't give me ice
cream," she said.

"Well, I'm not a good witch... I'm not a bad witch either... But, not taking
candy from strangers is a good rule to follow, lil' girl," he warned.

"If the bad people from Brian's other life are going to come and get us they
wouldn't come with ice cream. They'd come with sharp teeth or tentacles or
something," she said.

"Tentacles?" he asked, folding his arms.

"Yeah... See, at first I started to remember that we didn't always have Brian in
dreams... Then I started to have dreams about what Brian's other life was like"
She swallowed some ice cream and then paused pensively ..."I think when you are
very close to someone you can have dreams about them that help you see how they
are." She continued. Spike smiled. He wanted to tell her how very right she was,
but kept his mouth shut. "Like, two years ago I had a dream that Bri was lost in
the woods underground. It turned out he WAS lost camping. Accept I guess that
didn't really happen." She sighed heavily.

"That's what your family thinks happened though, right?" Spike asked.

"Not Brian... He remembers his other life too. It sucked. Monsters everywhere.
But, there were some nice people he told me... So, I'm figuring you're one of
them."

"If everyone else believed that your brother didn't have this wonky monster
life...Isn't it better just to believe them?... Since the other life was so
awful... Just chalk it off to bad dreams," he asked.

"I think that's what Brian is trying to do now." She said shaking her head. "He
sold me out. I know he didn't mean to... But now he's saying that he only
pretended what I was saying was true... as if I were some kid playing a game...
I think he wants to believe what he's telling everyone... Brian always wants to
make every one happy... But, I can't do that... I have to keep it real, ya
know?"

"Yeah," Spike sighed "At least I used to."

"You're not here to take Brian away, are you? To some place where he has to
fight...He doesn't want to fight...But, if you tell him he has to go...He
probably will," she said with tears in his eyes.

"No one is going to take your brother away from you," Spike assured her.

"Get the hell out of my way!" Someone yelled and pushed past the agent Smith
that was going on about some non-existent burst pipe.

"Jolene!... Jo, Oh man! There you are I---" The boy stopped short and looked up
at Spike suddenly.

"Brian, this is one of those good people from your other life... Isn't he?" she
asked the boy.

"What are you doing with my sister?" he demanded.

"Mom said you've been back here for twenty minutes. Have you been talking to
this perv the whole time? What ever he's telling you is a lie." The boy's eyes
narrowed.

Great, now he was a child molester again. He was used to it. He was too young
looking to appear fatherly to Dawn or Amanda, but too old looking to be their
friend. Meanwhile, sods who were older and younger looking them him did things
to little girls everyday. The "real" monster-less world, where the boy now lived
was ridiculous.

"You like high school girls, Man? I'm sure they'll love you in prison." The boy
said shoving Spike. He was a scrawny one. Apparently, the boy still had his
stones in this world.

"Brian, no!" Jolene said.

"Get out of here Jolene!... Tell everyone I had to go to Walden's to get a book
I forgot! Do it! GO!" He yelled when the girl paused. When he yelled she did run
off. She was more scared of big brother than the nice man witch-at least when he
was brassed off.

"Look, it's not what you think," Spike said with his hands up "She got upset at
the table and I came to give her some ice cream, and she started telling me
about her - or your- lives.---"

It was then that the boy charged Spike. He grabbed something from his pocket.

"Who are you?" The boy demanded.

"Do you really wanna know?" Spike asked as the boy had pushed him up against the
was. He felt the tip of something against his chest. It was a stake.

"Not really, just die." The boy grunted as the boy struggled to push the stake
into Spike's chest. Spike threw the boy up against the other wall. The wood
cracked. The boy barley noticed, and sprung on Spike again. Spike smiled--
impressive. A woman came out of the kitchen and screamed. The agent Smiths were
still trying to block the door and were talking to a Friday's manager.

"Sorry," Spike said to the scared woman.

"Family squabble. You know this is my lucky stick, mate," Spike yelled mockingly
to the boy and grabbed the end of the stake.

"You leave my family alone!" The boy snarled. Two agents were all staring at
them. The boy glared at them. Spike rolled his eyes at the agents. One was
probably off making the family stay in place.

"Sodding Angel. I should have known he'd have to try to bollix this up," he
grumbled.

"Angel! Is he here? I'll kill you before you can fuck with my family because of
him!" the boy snarled.

"It's a bit late for that...If only you got here twenty minutes sooner." Spike
smirked. The boy looked horrified. Spike then took off running at a speed only
the boy could match. He took off through the kitchen.

"What did you do to them?" The boy roared. Someone dropped a bunch of dishes in
surprise.

"Nothing worse than what you did... Shame on you. Selling out your lil'
Sis...Lying to her and your Mum and Dad!" Spike tisked as he ran. He ran across
the busy street dodging cars with the boy following him. He stopped at the truck
rest stop. The boy sprung on him. Hitting him in the face.

"You know nothing about them! Nothing! They aren't your family. You're a dead
thing! You have no family! You fucking freak." The boy roared. Hitting him up
against a dumpster.

"I--am--really--tiered--of--being-a- -symbolic-- punching bag--for- people with
self hatred!" Spike roared in between punching the boy. The boy landed on the
ground. "Got enough of my own, thank you," Spike added.

"I mean really." Spike scoffed indignantly as he offered the boy a hand up "You
don't even know me. How do you know I don't have a family or that I know nothing
about your family or that I'm---"

"A fucking freak!" The boy spat sitting on the ground. "I smell the vamp in you.
The beast... You smell like Angelus!"

"Takes one to smell one, I'd say," Spike goaded. The boy kicked him to the
ground and they wrestled.

"Would--You--just---bloody---stop!" he said, pinning the boy on the ground.

"What do you want? How do you know my father? If you're trying to do something
to get revenge on him you're in the wrong place. He'd probably LOVE the idea of
you taking what I have!"

"You're a boy after my own heart" Spike laughed.

"And now is when you say some line about eating my heart," the boy said and then
he head butted Spike.

"Don't make puns about eating heart anymore. Never really liked them
anyway...too chunky," Spike laughed as he rubbed his head. The boy had run into
his other hand that was a fist.

"You're not a normal vampire. A normal vampire couldn't do that to me," the boy
growled.

"No, I'm not, Blade! In a lot of ways! I have a soul for one. AND before you
mouth off and tell me you could give a rat's ass," Spike said loudly to stop the
boy from interrupting, "I'm not like your old man! I'm not gonna tell you how
bloody great and noble I am. 'Cause I'm not. I AM here to make your old man
happy as much as it kills me, but it will make things better for you too."

The boy ran at him again and Spike pinned him to the ground again.

"There is a difference between persistence and idiocy! But, I know you're young
yet," Spike sighed.

"He sent you, didn't he?" The boy's voice broke "He's making me remember...Fine!
But, why my sister? She's fifteen. What does he want? I just want him to leave
me alone. I'd do anything to just keep him out of my life for good" Boy, the kid
was brassed-off! It made Spike smile.

"Well, you're the lucky boy, then," Spike said.

"You're gonna kill me... He doesn't even have the balls to do it himself." The
boy stated calmly now, but calm in an eerie way.

"Well, that's what he does best. He runs. So you remember it all?" Spike asked.

"Let's see... My whole life has been a lie, a Hell dimension that makes 'The
Blair Witch' experience look fun... Two total manipulative FUCK HEADS doing a
Kramer vs. Kramer on me... Vampire Dad stealing the only girl I ever loved and
making me destroy my town when it was finally at peace... Then back to the part
where he made me realize my life was a big lie...A perfect circle, Chief." The
boy laughed crazily.

"There were a lot of movie references in there for someone that grew up in a
Hell dimension." Spike said with his eyebrows raised.

" You know I still remember my other life of course, Chief. You think that it
would have been a convincing lie if I had supposedly been Brian Fox for 18 years
and somehow never made a trip to Blockbuster... Is that what Angel thinks? That
I am the same old loser I was when I knew him as my only kin? No wonder he wants
me dead." He sounded almost like he was in normal conversation voice now.

"The Git doesn't want you dead. He wants what you want. He wants you to forget
about him... To go back to your real life," Spike explained.

"This life? But, it's not real. Why did he make me remember, then?" Connor or
was it Brian(?) asked in rage.

"No, no Blade. It wasn't Angel that made you remember. The spell is just going
all wonky... That's why your little Sis is remembering too... It's wearing off
or somethin'. Who knows, the magics are a sodding crap shoot," Spike grumbled.

"Spell? This was fucking magic! This whole thing... My life was some bitch-tit
witch's game! Who? And Why?" The boy demanded in full yell now. Spike held him
down on the cement as he tried to head-butt him again.

"Whoa. Whoa. Don't punch the massager, Blade... I'm not a fan of the magics
either. There's always a price...and here we are paying it. Not your Peach of a
Dad, who should be paying it. The bastard always wants an easy out."

The boy was using so much force Spike really had to focus to keep him down. He
was almost as strong as Faith. But, Faith was usually laughing when she was in
this position with Spike. Who knew how string Faith could be when she was really
angry? "Angel did this to me...to Jolene! That is it! I'm killing the
motherfucker! God! I fucking hate him!" The boy yelled.

"Blade, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship between you an'
me." Spike laughed.

"You're not one of his loyal followers?" The boy softened a bit in voice, but
was still struggling.

"HA! Hardly! I can't be in the same room with him for too long or I end up
beating his ass."

"Then why the fuck are you here helping him?" Blade demanded.

"Well, isn't that the one or two hundred thousand dollar question-literally? I
know a girl that wants to go to college... and even though the slayer would
never admit it she wants to go too or have a little business... I don't know if
she's the school type... Such bloody drone factories... Anyway, they don't come
from rich families like you" Spike explained.

"You're here because he's paying you, and your giving that money to Faith?" The
boy asked now totally confused and sneering, but no longer struggling.

"You know Faith?" Spike asked.

"I remember her. How could you forget?...Unless...Your asshole dad puts a spell
on you. Hey, in reality I don't come from a rich family either." The boy laughed
a little too long. "How the hell did Angel get that kind of money?"

"He sold-out. Went all bloody corporate. He owns the LA Wolfram and Hart" Spike
told him.

"Wolfram and Hart? They were the ones that--- Wolfram and Hart!---" The boy
stammered, but his anger was as far off as he was staring into the sky.

"I know. I know...Captain Bloody Irish-America working for evil incorporated...
He says he did it for you...and Buffy. You know Peaches, he can rationalize
anything and do whatever he pleases---"

"---As long as he says he's sorry for it...," the boy finished for him.

"And do you think he's really sorry for any of it?" Spike demanded.

"No! Angelus is just under there laughing... Meanwhile Angel thinks he's a hero,
but all he does is fuck up lives," the boy said fiercely.

"I don't know whose life he buggered more mine- or the girl he took from me. She
seemed to fail to notice all his bad points, like the fact he made her
miserable... He knew he could never really have her and the sod swooped in and
took her anyway," Spike grumbled

"He did that to you too? When?" The boy demanded making eye contact for the
first time since he wanted to kill him.

"'Bout a year and half ago, and there was a time before."

"You're shitting me! You are shitting me! ... That is the same time he did it to
me with Cordy."

"Wha? Angel had Cordy when he went to my slayer?" Spike grumbled.

"Angel stole Faith from you?" The boy gasped. Spike smiled.

"No. Not Faith " Spike scoffed "Faith- the only thing Angel and I don't share in
the same bloody way . Did you---" Spike was interrupted by a Not so subtle
throat clearing.

Spike and Connor looked up from the ground as they heard this. There was an
agent Smith standing there.

"Um," was all the agent said as Spike was still on top of the boy.

"This is a private conversation! We're not selling bloody tickets! Now we're
going to do this my way! Get out of here-- completely or I'll make you and those
who are linked to you miserable, understand?" Spike roared.

"It's not what it looks like!" the boy called after the Agent who was walking
away.

"That's all I need to get busted for lewd behavior in a truck stop... I'll get
kicked out of Brown... I worked really hard to get there...Oh, no wait I
didn't... When I thought I was struggling to get an A in trig...I was really
destroying Reiner demons...Which was oddly more rewarding," the boy told Spike
as he let him up.

"I never heard of those," Spike said, surprised.

"Oh, it's kinda like a Spther demon...You have to reach down the throat..."

"And break the spine?" Spike finished.

"Yeah...No, I don't smoke... cigarettes. Do you have any---?" The boy paused as
Spike offered him a cigarette.

"No, more of a drinker. Though Faith has been getting me into it," Spike
answered his pause.

"How is Faith?" the boy asked.

"Good. Good. A real firecracker! We can make her the best I think. She can live
a long life." Spike smiled.

"She's not the best?" the boy asked, surprised.

"Oh. No- no. I had the best. But, Faith's had very little training. So, I figure
when were done she'll be as good as Buffy! Who knows? Maybe better, but I doubt
it," Spike told him.

"I can't believe Faith isn't the best!" the boy exclaimed.

"That was-is Buffy-- though she is in a different dimension now with a different
HIM," Spike grumbled.

"Angel! There is more than one of him-Gah! They all are probably going for as
many women as possible at once!" the boy spa.

Spike laughed a hearty laugh.

"That wouldn't bloody surprise me! Not one bit," Spike laughed.

"But doesn't it piss you off?" the boy demanded.

"Everything regarding Peaches brasses me off, but I'm over dwelling on it,"
Spike said as he took a drag.

"Huh?" the boy asked.

"I mean sure I'm bloody pissed off. Sure I know he isn't worthy of my girl's
love, but I know even if she didn't love Peaches she probably still wouldn't..."
Spike's voice trailed off.

"Well, all I know is that if Angel left me and Cordelia alone we would have been
fine! But- um- who's Peaches?" the boy asked.

"Peaches is Angel of course!wantwants it all to be so peachy and he's the one
that buggers it! Why are you so hung up on Cordelia now? Don't you have your
whole other life now? You didn't even remember her until, when?"

"A few months ago, it all came back to me a few months ago. But, even before
than I had her with me, My dream girl in my mind. The woman who loved me when
everyone else didn't. Before high school I was a loser. The smart skinny kid in
the audio/visual club, who got his books dumped, ya know?" he asked.

"Um, Smart, skinny, books, dumped... I've heard of that animal. Have no sodding
idea what the audio/visual club is, though Is it like a poets' society?"

"She always told me I was special. She needed me, Trusted me. I thought she was
my creation, my fantasy. Kid stuff. So, I gave her up to peruse the real thing
when I could, but it turned out she was real. The realest thing in my life!
Everything else was fake. She was the only one who knew me. I didn't even know
myself. I was NEVER that little nerd. I was never anybody! But, I was somebody
to her."

"Boy, you've got it bad! ! How was Cordy real? She's gone. She wanted Peaches
over you, right? Then she decided on neither of you and jetted off! Her being a
dream sounds like a bunch of bullocks to me." Spike laughed bitterly.

"She was the only one that knew the real me! I dumped my girlfriend here. What
does she know about me?"

"You are the only one that knows the real you-ever."

"What about your slayer? The one that's not Faith. It seems like you're pretty
hung up on her. Where is she? Is she not real? " the boy scoffed.

"'Ey!" Spike yelled and stuck his face right in the boy's "You shut-your bloody
punk ass mouth! You know nothin' about what went on between me and Buffy!"

"Buffy?" Connor laughed, "Hate to tell you, Chief. You don't exactly look like a
Bif! Of course a 'Buffy' is gonna prefer Peaches! What is your name, anyway? Who
the hell are you?"

"I'll be your worst sodding nightmare if you don't shut-up! Name's Spike."

"Spike?" The boy laughed "Oh, you must have been sired in the 80s when 'Spike'
was a cool name."

"Try the bloody eighteen eighties, you little Sod. You're startin' too remind me
of your mother, very sharp tongued! Had a much quicker wit than Peach! Bloody
bitch."

"You knew my mother? What was she really like?"

"An evil bitch," Spike said plainly. He waited for a response. The boy just sad
there pensively.

"Sorry." Spike said and the boy looked at him bemused. "I'll let you have a shot
at me! I mean I just insulted your Mum."

"Well, it is true." the boy said after a bit.

"Well, you have a good Mum now, anyway. Whole family seems solid. Bet they even
fancied you when you were a little Git none of the 'lil girls talked to."

"But, They aren't my family, are they? It's all been a big fat lie! Fucking
Angel! If I wanted lies I wouldn't have killed Jasmine."

"Whose Jas-Never mind. We'll be here forever! Lemme just ask, you: do you love
your family?"

"Of course I do! How can you ask me that? I was gonna take off to protect them!
In case anything from the underworld came to get me! But, then I figured staying
to protect them is better."

"The Underworld?"

"That's what me and Jo-jo were calling it, when I stupidly decided to tell her
the truth! I've read too much Tolkien. Well, not really." He chuckled.

"Lived it instead, huh? But, you love them. You wanna stay that's what matters."


"Yes, I have to. I could never leave. It would break them...and me. But, they
don't know me at all--not really. And if they did they wouldn't want me anymore.
I wasn't just in the Underworld, I was part of it. They would hate me for the
things I've done! You don't know." The boy was tearful now.

"Bet I do" Spike said. "But, all this 'real you' crap is bullocks! This is the
real you sitting here now! You think any mother knows the true darkness is her
son? You think-you think- any son knows the true darkness in his Mum?! They
don't. At least they bloody shouldn't. But, if they did they would still love
you... You're li'l Sis does, right?"

"They aren't going to react like Jo-jo. She's young and thinks I'm superman. She
never thought to see this for what it was!"

"Which is?"

"The truth, Chief. That I am not her brother. I don't belong to her. I'm
nothing. Nobody."

"I know a girl just like you. She was not even a person. She was a powerful
force. These religious freaks made her into a lil' girl, gave her all these fake
memories that made her think that she was always with her family. Gave her a
family the same."

"There is someone like me? Who is she? Where is she?"

"Yep, Dawn Summers. She's the Slayer's sister - Buffy's. She's in Sunnydale with
me. Since the slayer left I watch out for her."

"There is a girl in my same situation and she lives in Sunnydale, California?
With you? Another vampire with another freakin' soul?"

"Well, I don't live with her. I do sleep there at---You're missing the point!
She is like you. But, unlike you her family did find out the memories had all
been bollocks! and you know what happened?"

"What?" The boy's eyes were huge.

"Nothing! Well She went a bit around the bend at first, of course! But, then
when she calmed down everything just went back to normal. She went to the
sausage factory high school. She hung-out with her friends. Well, sometimes she
did get into spots of trouble with Gods after her, but her family always helped
her out of it," Spike said.

"Gods? I had a God problem too.. But my family can't---"

"There won't be anymore problems like that for you. That's why Peach sent me,"
Spike assured.

"But her family didn't care that it had all been a huge lie? She was never
really there!" the boy insisted.

"She was to them. All those memories real or not are part of them. We all have
our own reality of what happens anyway, right?" Spike said.

"Well, I guess I'll find out if my family will feel the same way."

"Well, not exactly" Spike told him.

"Well, why not? Jo remembers. You said they'd all remember soon. Soon they'll
know."

"No, they won't, and li'l sis will forget too." Spike sighed "That's why Peach
sent me. That's why I'm in waiter drag. You think I always dress like this? He
gave me these pills to put in their food so they won't remember. Li'l Sis won't
be so---"

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" The boy screamed and began pummeling Spike in the face.

"Ahh! Not again! You an' your ol' man...always going for the face. Must be
jealous of how pretty I am" Spike threw him off and rolled his eyes and the two
of them began trading blows.

"I'll kill you. It'll feel good killing one of you again," the boy sneered.

"That's it! I'm not visiting you at that fancy college of yours on family week,
Bro." Spike sighed as if he were bored.

"What?" the boy demanded.

"S'right! Who do you think is responsible for both our miserable little lives
besides us?"

"Angelus made you!" The boy scowled in hate now as Spike just grinned.

"The only family I have you just fucked with and now they will never know me!
I'll never know if they could really!" The boy stopped trying to hit Spike and
just stood. Spike was still silent.

"Forget it!" the boy snarled "Just do it! Take me down. I can tell you fight as
good as he does.

I just want it all over with! I want to rest. Tell him you did your little job
so good that he never has to worry about me again."

"You're a sodding brat, Blade, you know that?" Spike smirked.

"You really think I fight as good as him? You mean Peaches, right?" Spike then
asked earnestly.

"If I were a brat I'd find a way to blackmail his company broke. I'm asking you
to kill me! Do the neck-breaking thing though! No biting." the boy ordered. He
was a brat.

"Blackmail him! What a brilliant idea! I love it!" Spike giggled.

"C'mon! Let me see your real face! I haven't seen a real vampire's face in
forever. I came from one. I should go out from one," the boy said miserably.

"You're as stuck on yourself as your old man,and as selfish."

"I'm selfish! You took money from someone you hate to go make sure innocent
people live in a lie! Vamps, even with souls; You're all evil!"

"This isn't about me. Look at your lil' Sis. She knows and she loves you, but
she's bloody miserable and scared! and I'm sure that's how Mum and Dad and Big
Sis would react too. And look at you, weren't you just a Hip little Gen Y boy a
few months ago? Angel may be a Git, but he wanted you to be happy, and I'm sure
you want your family to be."

"But, it's a big fucking lie! It's not who I am!" the boy's voice broke.

"Why are yctincting as thick as your old man? I thought we went over this! It's
not a bloody lie. You love them. They love you. You are who you bloody are.
You're made up of you life with Peach and your life now and even that fake past,
because it's in you. It's in your family. Maybe it didn't really happen, but it
is really there now! It's all about what you believe. Aren't you taking
philosophy? I swear Yank schools---"

"Of course I have. That's Kant!" the boy spat

"Well, It's any Metaphysical philosopher really," Spike said.

"Nu-unh! Plato said that there are necessary truths."

"Riiight! And I'm saying that this 'They aren't my real family' thing isn't one
of them, Blade," Spike said impatiently.

"How can you say that? How can how someone's real life they've lived and the
choices they made not be a necessary truth?"

" Look, Blade...I'm bloody tired and I have girls that need me to be home before
the next Post-Modern theory of meta-physics comes out."

"You really are nothing like Angel," the boy smirked. "But you're still a
philistine monster that doesn't understand the most basic of metaphysical
principles! Not your fault. I'm sure you didn't have time to keep current with
the Post-Modern stuff with all the killing you had to do."

"Well, isn't Blade an Ivy league snot nose punk Yank, that deserves a good ass
whipping! I was at university before your school even had a decent library,"
Spike sang amused.

"Well, that just shows that education is out of date...And...I am not an Ivy
League snot nose! I am-I am!"-the boy broke down crying - "some demon freak!"

"Shit," Spike rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I fuckin' know! I lost my edge.. I guess I am an Ivy League whatever! I'm
a crying pussy now. I'm sure you'd rather I go around piercing God's heads and
telling you I feel nothing!"

"Um. No... The God thing would have come in handy a while back....But it's not
you, hang on." Spike sighed.

"Out! O-U-T! Bad doggie! Out, Smith!" Spike yelled as he pulled one of Angel's
agents out of the dumpster by the collar.

"What the fuck?" The boy was startled out of tears.

"It's your old man! The one you would say is your real one, though I don't know
why. He has his little spies! That guy before was one too. Peaches needs to feel
he's in control," Spike explained.

"He watches me!" the boy shrieked. "If he wants to be in control so bad, where
is he? Why did he send you? I wish he had come. It would have to have been me or
him left alive."

"I think you may have stumbled upon why he sent me. Bugger off, Agent Smith,"
Spike grumbled to the agent.

"How do you know his name? What am I doing trusting you!" the boy demanded
fiercely.

"I don't...That's what they call 'em in 'The Matrix.' All the little agent cogs
that work for the big wheel." Spike chuckled.

"What makes you different from them? You are STILL taking money from him!" The
boy was angry with him again. Kids. Spike ducked from the boy trying to punching
him. His heart wasn't in it like before though

" I'm a just little glitch, aren't I? Something in Peach's program that he made
that didn't go as planned. But, he needs the glitch to keep the whole program
running." Spike grinned.

"Oh" The boy smiled "That's-that's cool."

"Mr. Angel wants to know why you haven't completed the mission," the agent said
sternly.

"Wha? You mean why haven't I slipped the boy the Mickey to make all of Peach's
worries disappear?"

Spike sneered at the agent. Suddenly the boy was up again. He hit the agent in
the face and the bloke fell.

"Blade, we don't want Peaches out here," Spike chided as he pulled the boy back.


"No, let Peaches come," the boy sneered.

"You wanna explain all that mess to your family?" Spike demanded. The boy
stopped trying to get out of the vampire's grasp.

"Get gone, Curly, or I'll let the boy lose on you" Spike said menacingly. The
agent walked away.

"So, Angel made you? You really are nothing like him," the boy stated wiping his
eyes.

"Why would I be? I had other parents, another life before him, certainly after
him. He didn't make me really, though. Safe to say I was made entirely by women
With men doing their part to bullocks things up"

"My mother, Darla. She came to me in a vision once, and she was good. I know
that sounds crazy."

"It happens."

"I asked her if it was really her and she said something like she had all her
memories and feelings and isn't that what makes a person real. so, what was that
guy bitching about? What is the 'mission'? Isn't the mission usually killing
something bad? Are you here to off me after all? Is that why you keep calling me
'Blade'? Some code for cutting me out?" The boy sighed. His eyes red from
crying.

"I call you 'Blade' because you are just like the bloke in that movie. Well, a
skinny white version. You have all of our strengths and none of our weaknesses,
and you have the extra bonus of being innately good. Some blokes get all the
luck."

"I am not good! You don't know, Chief," the boy sighed.

"Oh, but I do. You sound just like Faith! So much potential, you have no bloody
idea. I feel it in you both."

"Faith kicked my fuckin' ass... But, oddly I don't mind remembering that." He
chuckled.

"That's my girl! When you say 'kicked' your ass you do mean...?"

"She beat the shit out of me. She was too wounded from Angelus and Wesley to do
anything else. She came so close to biting it and she came back just to kick my
ass to save Angel! Good times," the boy smiled sarcastically.

"What do you bloody mean she almost died? How could that git Wes---"?

"Brian? Bri? Is that you? What are you doing here?" It was Jolene. The little
bit looked different somehow.

"I think I should be asking you that!" the boy grumbled.

"I went outside to see if you were there and this man told me you were over
here.Why are you talking to our waiter?" she asked.

"You know why! You're right it's all true, okay?" the boy sighed sounding
defeated.

"What's true? Are you buying pot from our waiter?" she asked. The boy looked
shocked and then gave Spike a deadly look.

"How could you?" he said lowly. Then Jolene started laughing.

"You think the waiter was hitting on me or something. That's gross! He's like
twenty-five! He gave me ice cream. I could tell he was a stoner. So, this is
what your doing? Your buying pot instead of getting a free meal from Mom and
Dad. You really have turned into a college guy." she snorted.

"You seem much happier than before," Spike commented to her.

"Yeah, I get upset when my parents try to make me eat stuff I don't want. They
are way too eating disorder phobic! They should not be allowed to watch
Lifetime. I bet they paid you to give me that Sunday." she laughed.

"Jo! I have to talk to our waiter alone for a sec. Start back to the restaurant
and I'll be right there," the boy said softly.

"You are so buying pot!" She rolled her eyes and walked away.

"So, you're supposed to make me take one of those pills. Make me forget all
about him, about my power too. I didn't have them until I really remembered it
all. He must really hate me," the boy said blankly.

"I've known Peaches a long, long, sodding long time. I've seen him do things
that you can't imagine," Spike stated.

"I doubt it," the boy snickered bitterly.

"I don't," Spike said "I know what he does to people when he hates them. I know
what he does to people when he just doesn't really like them, and leaving them
with a nice family isn't it. In fact, leaving them with better people and hoping
they forget about his sodding ass is what Peaches seems to think love is."

The boy just stared. After some time he said: "Well, I'm supposed to get one of
those pills, right?"

"Yeah here." Spike handed him a small black pill.

"Aren't you supposed to make sure I take it? And then you get to laugh at me
when I start to think I'm oure tre to kick your ass for hitting on my sister."

"At the risk of sounding Ann Rice, I'm going to give you the choice I was never
given," Spike smiled.

"You're asking if I want to be a vampire?" the boy asked outraged.

"Nooo," Spike rolled his eyes. "Here's the pill! Take it or don't take it. I'd
hold on to it if I were you! Sometimes the pain of the memories can get pretty
bad."

"How would you know?"

"I know you think your better than the rest of us, Blade... and you are! But,
you're not the only one with dual lives, you know?"

Spike lit a cigarette as he walked back into the "Fridays" parking lot. He saw a
blue van. He suddenly ran over to it and kicked the door. The van shook and
rattled like a car hit it. The door seemed to believe it was hit by a car too
and dented. It didn't open though.

"Can we just stop this Spy vs. Spy crap?! We are on the same bloody team! I know
Mickey wants to talk to me, and my cell phone is in the car," he yelled. The
muscley guy that Spike had picked up out of the dumpster opened the door.

"Try to be a little less obvious next time. The only people that drive vans
anymore are either spies or child molesters! Gimme a line to the big cheese
already, right?"

Someone bolted up from the front of the van and hit Spike so hard he fell out of
the back of it..

"Hello Big Brother! or do you prefer Mein Sire now?...I should have known you
were here The Wizard of Wolfram, who has a heart... all behind the curtain with
your grandiose spells...or should I say shitty agents." Spike grinned on the
ground.

"You want to add more pop culture references to that? You could use that movie
'The Firm' and 'Mr. Burns' has always been a personal favorite" Angel growled.

"Sorry, you're boy's humor is contagious, I suppose" Spike smirked after he
bounced back onto his feet.

Angel grabbed Spike by the red and white stripped shirt and pushed Spike up
against the open van door roughly the glass in the back window cracked.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM? YOU WERE THERE FOR FORTY MINUTES! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO
BE IN AND OUT, Spike!" Angel growled in vampire face.

"Aww!" Spike's voice dripped with sarcasm "Is someone upset they couldn't
violate a boy they want to leave alone?"

"I am no violating him. I'm making sure he is safe form monsters like you!"
Angel said lowly.

"Protecting him from ME? I was the one YOU sent out there. It's not me your
worried about, Peach. Spying on someone is violating them. We're in America now,
don't you know? Thought you did. You dropped your accent after all."

"If you think spying on someone is violating them... I can't imagine how you
must feel about how many times you violated Buffy- Like the last time she was
with me...From what I hear, it seems Buffy went temporarily insane and started
screwing her stalker," Angel said.

" I was not--it's different if you happen to be walking by and here or see
something! You have people and equipment. Granted it's not very good if it
couldn't pick up a conversation a few yards away but---

"Tell me what you said to him and you can keep all of your teeth" Angel said.

"Wouldn't you love to know!? I don't think that is any of your business!" Spike
grinned now.

"If you turned him against me or told him a lie-about me and Wolfram and Hart...
I'll kill you!"

"I didn't have to say a word to him! He had pretty strong feelings about you on
his own. Smart boy! I like him! Must take after--- "

"I was insane to ever involve you in my life... Let alone the most important
thing-You already got a hold on my other most important--- I was insane to let
you stay in Sunnydale before or after Buffy left" Angel said letting go of
Spike's shirt.

"Well, I know one other slayer that wouldn't let that happen now... And Buffy
would NEVER have let you beat me off in Sunnydale... She was too busy and happy
doing that herself, but her style was a little---" Spike started laughing when
Angel put his head through the van window.

"Don't worry. I like it when he's rough" Spike laughed to the gapping agents.
"Buffy used to say I-"

"Why aren't you off in a hole somewhere covered in shit and insane because she
LEFT you? She didn't love you. Why are you all- all- up a pai pain in the
fucking ass?... I know you. When women leave you they take all of you with them.
What are you up to, Spike?" Angel demanded.

"People change, Peach. One of us grew up. Love ain't owning and it ain't
controlling. It's doing. Before she left she asked me to watch over all of
you...Even you... I WAS her chosen champion. I saved the bloody world. She KNEW
she could trust me" Spike spat. Angel threw Spike far out into the parking lot
and pounced on him in vampire face.

"Asshole! I KNOW love isn't control! Why do you think I let them all go? Buffy
didn't want you and you wouldn't fucking let go!" Angel yelled holding a stake
up to a sneering, but non-fighting Spike.

"Now he's the REAL Champ, Ladies" Spike laughed. Angel stopped and turned away
from Spike.

"You're pathetic. You are NOT the real Champion! The real champion was supposed
to become purified by the Sanshu and come back as human...You are anything
but... You are a mistake," Angel said.

"Wha? That bloody tacky necklace thing was supposed to make me human... Thank
God that went wonky! At least some things work in my favor," Spike laughed after
a moment of speechlessness.

"Your persistent vampire presence only says how impure you are. Don't think I
don't know about everything that you put Buffy through... Don't think I didn't
consider killing you... Instead I decided to help you. Help you help them... And
what do I get for it?" Angel asked.

"I did what yloodloody asked. I gave the boy the pill! He's supposed to forget
it all, right? You just can't stand the fact that you weren't in control for a
second!... That I was," Spike sighed as he got off the ground.

"You were never in control, Spike. You are never in control. If you do
ANYTHING-ANYTHING...I can take you out with a flick of my wrist" Angel sneered.
Spike looked at the three agent Smith's that were surrounding him with
crossbows. He smiled and saluted them sarcastically.

"You're quite the dictator! Threatening execution on his hired gun with more of
his hired guns. If you wanted to take my impure ass out, you would STILL do it
yourself. A fight to the death. You haven't sold out that much" Spike told him.

"Don't think I won't do it if I see that you've hurt Connor in any way... Don't
think I won't beat your ass into the ground NOW because I KNOW you said
something to him" Angel spat turning around in vampire face.

"Promises. Promises, Peach! You don't even have the stones to face your own
blood! You lay any more of a hand on me and you will have one brassed off slayer
who thinks you're an angel now! And some very upset lil' girls who would think
the LA vampire is mean to their vampire. You want that?" Spike asked in mock
concern.

" Well boys, the man is speechless! Pleasure doing business with you, Peach"
Spike grinned to the Agents as Angel turned away. Spike was walking away when he
turned on his heel.

"Oh, and don't think for a second that you would really be able to kick my ass!
It's just the slayer-Faith- She wants to see you when we come to LA, and it
would be awkward explaining to her that you looked so ugly because of me" Spike
smiled as Angel only looked at him.

"See you when we get to LA. I'll show your friends---whoops--- I mean your
employees-- a good time." Spike called over his shoulder.

"Should we follow him, Sir? Your son is still in the mall." An agent asked
Angel.

"No...Let's go." Spike heard Angel say.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Spike gave the twitchy kid back his clothes. He'd been waiting in the changing
stall of

"Abercrombie and Finch" for quite a while. Spike slipped him some extra money.
That was when Spike heard the boy.

"Look, everything is camouflage. Like we are going to have a high fashion war or
something," he heard the boy say.

This was what Spike was talking about to Angel, if he happened to stumble upon a
conversation that was one thing. But, it was just plain wrong to go out with
agents and bugs. This was different. He didn't want to be seen--- couldn't be.
What if the boy had taken the pill? Seeing Spike might make his brain all wonky,
and what if he hadn't? The boy was trying to live his "real" life. He looked
happy, like a different kid, as Spike saw him through the cracks of the changing
door.

"I like the camo. It's butch," Jolene said.

"Where did you learn that word--- Butch?" Connor laughed.

"I don't mean it's gay. I mean it's tough." She blushed.

"Are my bloody knuckles butch?" he asked her. He showed her his knuckles rubbed
raw. Did Spike's face do that to the boy?

"What did you do?" Jolene gasped.

"Don't tell anyone," he said firmly.

"You know I won't," she said.

"Sometimes you tell!" he said.

"I never tell!" she insisted.

"Well, remember the waiter?"

Was the boy going to try to tell his sis the truth again? He'd kick his ass! She
had a right to a normal life.

"You hit the waiter! I told you he wasn't---

"No! He actually remembered me from somewhere! He never said where. But we both
know this guy. He used to kick my ass all the time in high school! Good times.
Anyway, our waiter hates him too, and we saw him in the restaurant so we went
out and kickes ass ass"

So, the boy had taken the pill, and it had made up some little story about Spike
for it to all make sense in the boy's big brain. The pill better not mess with
his head too much. There is nothing worse then having people put bloody things
in your head that hurt you. But this hadn't hurt a bit.

"Brian! You had me tell everyone you were buying a book!" she gasped "That is so
cool! You're not even hurt." Big brother was a hero. Spike closed his eyes
y. y.

"Cryin' on the inside, Jo" he said melodramatically !I'm kidding." He laughed
when she looked concerned.

"There you are," The Mother said as she entered the store. Spike took a good
look at Mum. She had some miles on her, but they looked good. Like a shoe that
was broken in right. Sodding Peaches. He knew how to pick the women.

"Hey Mom! Do I look butch in these pants, or what?" the boy said in a Clint
Eastwood voice.

"Shut-up!" his sister laughed.

"You need new pants," was all the mother said, like she was used to the constant
joking.

"No I don't," he stated

"Brian, you have like two pairs of pants," she insisted.

"Well, I don't want these. They are subliminally trying to make us think war and
fighting is cool," he told her.

"Yeah and you HATE fighting!" Jolene laughed. Little sister was quite a pistol
when she was happy. He jokingly held his fist up when the mother turned away. He
smile his his sister and looked off into the changing rooms.

"I only fight when I have to- unlike some! These pants are trying to get us to
support the government's unnecessary war," he said. Spike laughed. He was a
little snot nose, wasn't he?

End of Part three Scroll to part 4 ----------->