A Gift from Evan

"It's too bad you weren't feeling well and had to skip Psych," Buffy says, sitting next to me in the Cafeteria at UC S. Way to recap, B.

I know, I know. I'm the pseudosemtic epitomy of teenage rebellion... Yeah, I did some reading whilst B and Red were in class. I don't want B to think I'm some sorta dumb ass, especially now that I'm gonna be in her class... Did that rhyme?
Anyway, yeah I skipped psych. We were walking down the hall and ran into 'Professor Walsh'. Man, she's like this evil bitch monster of death! She was growling at some poor kid for transferring into her class late. So, I decided to skip. Faked being sick and ran like a pussy to the nurse. But it was cool. She was hot.

I tried to make it back to the motel straight afterwards, but I got cornered by the girls. Though it’s cool, B can corner me anytime. I just wish Red wasn’t here.

"So, Evan," the B's-and-mine-alone-time blocker says. "Are you new in town?"

"Brand spankin'," I reply. "I just came in from Missouri."

"Oh," Willow says. "We have a friend from Missouri called Faith. You might like to meet her."

Hold up. B hasn't told her about me? What's up with that?

"Evan is Faith's cousin," B says to Willow. "I mentioned it, remember?"

Oh. So she did tell her about me and Red pretended to forget - that means I'm in.

"Oh that’s right," Red says, real unconvincingly. "Are you and Faith close?"

You could say that, but I won't.
"Not really. Me and her are real different, y'know?. But I still find her really..." Wait I'm gonna have to say something good about me just in case things between B and man-me don't work out. Er... I find Faith... Attractive?... Nope, not in the State of California, I don't. I find Faith... funny?.. Since when? I dunno! Think Faith, think!

"Cool." Of all the words.

"Yeah," Buffy chimes in. "She's... the coolest."

This is weird. Why are they talking about me, when they should be talking about ME?... You know what I mean. You don’t?

"What about you?"

Sorry, Willow interrupted me, so now you'll never know.

Wait, what about me? I wasn't listening; I was too busy talking to myself... Er.. She asked, 'Are you from Missouri?' I said 'yes'. Do you and Faith get on? I answered that too, didn't I? Shit, what was her fucking question?
"Hey, we've spent the whole evening talking about me," I deflect. "I wanna know more about you, Willow. Faith tells me you practise magic."

Just like that she lights up. "Well, yeah, I just started. I'm going to this new Wicca group on Thursday and blah, blah, blah, bla-blah, blah."

Wow. Buffy looks so hot. She's just sat there, her hand resting on her chin whilst she stares at Red. Whoa, I can totally see down her top! What? What's wrong with me?

"So what do you think?"

Uh-oh. They're both looking at me. Damn. I can't say 'What do I think about what?' They'll know I wasn't paying attention.

"Yes," I say. 50-50 chance that'll mean something, right?

"Evan, don't put ideas into her head," B says.

"No, Buffy," Willow argues. "Evan's right."

"He's really not," Buffy says. Is she getting worked up?

"I'm gonna go and do it right now," Red tells her, getting up. Uh-oh. What did I just do?

"You really shouldn't encourage her," Buffy tells me.

"I didn't mean to." Which is true. I dunno what the hell I just did.

She gets up and is all huffy… She’s a huffy Buffy… and she’s all, "I should head back too. I don't want to leave my new room-mate alone with all of my stuff."

"I'll walk you back," I offer.

"That's okay," she says back.

I must have really pissed her off.
"Buffy, I want to. Look I'm sorry if I made you mad, but I think Red should follow her dreams and do whatever she needs to do to make her happy."

Thank you, Hallmark.

"Follow her dreams?" she says, looking at me weird. "I wouldn't call breaking into the Chem lab to do magic a dream of Willow's. She's just being reckless."

I told Red to go break into a Chem lab? Whoa. Way to go me. "I say Red needs to have some fun once in a while. If random destruction of property does that for her, then she should go for it."

"You really are Faith's cousin," B decides. "You think very much alike."

"Faith's infectious like that. But I like it. I like picking up on this huge energy she has."

B doesn't say anything. She just starts walking, so I walk with her. We walk real slow and real quiet, through campus 'til we get to her building. She stops and turns to me,

"So, how did you find your first day at the University of Sunnydale?" she asks in this dramatic voice.

"Pretty good.” I reply. “I met this really great girl, with a really great name and beautiful eyes." She gets that I'm talking 'bout her, so she smiles and I add, "And a beautiful smile."

"And this girl," she says. "Will she be seeing you around?"

"If she wants to," I say back. Then I ask her, "Does she?"

She nods and then it's my turn to smile. I lean in and kiss her real soft and it is totally awesome. It's so much better than I ever thought 'cause I never knew B was such a great kisser. I mean, I had thought - what with all the vamps she'd turned into slayerphiles - but she's so much better than amazing. She's like the Goddess of kissing. I feel her tongue go into my mouth. Wow, a Euro kiss on the first day? I must have done something right.
I break off though. First rule of dating; offer it all up on a platter and no-one's gonna wanna eat it. Give 'em a taste and they'll always want more.

"I should go get some beauty sleep," I tell her.

"Me too," she agrees.

"You don't need it," I say back. Second rule of dating; always compliment your girl. We'd give it up that much sooner, if you did.

"I'll see you tomorrow," B says, walking into the building.

"What number you at? Maybe I could come pick you up for class."

"214," she shouts back.

And she's gone.

"YES, oh yes!" I do my happy dance out on the lawn. Boppin' to and fro... Boppin' to and fro? What the hell? I'm so glad I said that in my head.
Then I start walking. I don't walk very far, when this bozo bumps into me and is all,

"Sorry."

So I go, "Whatever."

But he takes that like it's an invite for him to ask me, "Do you know how I could get to Dunwirth Building?"

I'm like, "No" and keep walking - away from him - but then he follows me and is all,

"It's just that, I'm kind of lost."

So you're following me, 'cause?
I look at the dude and he's holding a fricken map. How is it possible to get lost with a map in your hands? I take the sheet and look at it. It's even colour-coded!
"Here's we are," I say, pointing to this bike path. "I just came from Stevenson Hall, which is here... So Dunwirth Building must be that way."

I point it out.

"Oh. Thanks," he says, moving off in that direction.

I obviously go in the opposite direction, because I don't wanna be there when the dude can't find his way all of two feet, but then I hear a noise. I whip around and see some vamps having a field day with the guy.
Score. I've been dying to take this new bod for a ride, so I leap into action and charge towards them. I get like an inch to the ring-leader and she knocks me for six. So, I'm flat on my back and four of them are dragging the dude away. I go to get up and one of the vamps that stayed behind gets in my way.

"Like, whoa dude," he says. "You really shouldn't be out so late on your own."

"Yeah, monkey face," I say. What? He looks like a monkey. "Well you shouldn't really be out on your own neither." I couldn't have done any better than that? Damn.

"Hello," he says, going into game face. "Vampire."

I try to give him a snap kick, but these pants Xander gave me are really tight. I settle for a punch instead and it floors him. I grab a branch and he's dust.
"Hello, dead vampire," I say to the pile of dust and laugh to myself.

I race in the direction of the other vamps and see them going into this abandoned building. I stand outside and listen in. I can’t just go rushing inside- not with the performance this body just gave- so I wait real quiet and listen out.

"Well done Eddie Thomas of Dunwirth Building three, twenty four, you've just won an all expense paid trip to vampire town," I see this sexy, blonde vamp reading from a wallet.

“Haha. Vampire town,” this other not-so-sexy-real fat vamp says. She picks the dude up and he’s all woozy. Fuck, he's bleeding from his neck. The vamp goes to bite him but is stopped by the sexy one, who’s all,

”My God, is all you do eat?” The fat vamp gets a pout and the leader takes the body, drops it and says, "Leave him here. Let's go and see what we can grab from his room."

They all leave and the guy's body is just laying there. I walk inside and go up to him, bending down to feel for his pulse. Nothing. The dude's dead. I pick up the wallet and fish through. Nice, sixty bucks. I look around. Y'know, this place is kinda cool. It's got all paintings and real vintage looking stuff.
I pocket the wallet, step over the body and walk out of the building. I mean, it's too bad about the guy, but he really did kinda deserve it.

TBC...