Healing

Part 5

The following morning found Xander and Spike curled around each other once again. Spike was nestled back to chest with Xander's arms around him holding him tightly. To a casual observer they would have looked like lovers.

Spike woke up when he felt Xander's arms tighten around him, he didn't know where he was at first and was about to pull away when he remembered he was in Xander's bed. He lay still enjoying the warmth that was seeping into him from the body behind him. It felt nice to wake up warm and cozy in a soft bed, in a nice place, with someone who cares holding him. He could feel Xander’s erection pressed up against his ass but he was expecting it this time so he didn't panic. He knew Xander was straight, and didn't want him that way. The boy went after anything in a skirt, species be damned.

The problem with being a vampire was you didn't change physically from the time you were turned. William was a virgin in every way when Dru got to him. After he was turned he had bedded her almost exclusively, therefore he had very little experience with males in general. And he had never been fucked before, the only male he had ever had sex with had been Angelus, and he wanted to be fucked. Therefore Spike had always been the one to top. Darla took care of most of Angelus's needs, except that one. It was part of the reason he was made, Drucilla wanted to give her 'Daddy' a prezzie. Angelus enjoyed pain with sex. The more painful the better. The first time 'William' had taken the older vampire he was almost sick afterwards. The blood that poured from Angelus's ass when he pulled out was shocking. He knew that he was bleeding, but had it been a human he had fucked the poor bugger would have died from it. William himself wasn't in great shape either, his penis was so sore and bruised that he wasn't able to bed his Sire - or anyone else - for an entire week. He learned to accept that part of his place in the 'family' was to keep Angelus properly buggered and therefore had built up a tolerance to it, leaving him able to still shag afterwards.

After being raped repeatedly by those humans, Spike couldn't understand why any man would want a cock up his ass; it hurt! Vampires enjoy pain, but that was excruciating. How the hell Xander survived it for years he'd never understand. The very thought of someone doing that to the boy made him growl. Which of course woke Xander.

"Spike? You okay?"

"Sorry pet, didn't mean to wake you."

"Mmm, s'okay. What's wrong?"

"Nothin' jus' thinkin' s'all."

"About?"

"Things best left unsaid."

"Ah, I see. You sleep okay?"

"Not too bad. You?"

"Surprisingly well. Helps having someone here."

"Don't like sleeping alone, eh?"

"Nope, got used to having someone to cuddle with."

"Yeah, noticed that. You're a real cuddly one, you are."

"Does it bother you? I can stop. Or at least try to."

"Nah, it's kinda nice. Haven't been held since I was a lad."

"But Dru...?"

"Not much for cuddles, she was into sex and blood, enjoyed the pain mostly. She was what Angelus created."

"That's... Horrible. I couldn't see going a century with out being held. It would make me crazy."

"It's different for vampires mate, no soul remember."

"I'm thinking having a soul is highly over-rated. It was souled beings who did that to you, and to me. Demons haven't cornered the market on badness, humans can be monsters who don't care about anything so why can't a vampire want to be held?"

"Never said I didn't want it. Just said it was different is all."

Painfully long pause.

"Um, breakfast?"

"You cooking?"

"Cheese omelettes, home fries, toast and coffee."

"Sounds bloody fantastic."

"Ah you say that now, but wait 'till you taste it."

The rest of the day was spent inside watching sports and playing cards. When the sun set, it was off to the latest Scooby meeting to set up for patrol.

That night, patrol went off without a hitch. Xander, Spike and Buffy patrolled together while Willow, Tara and Giles researched the identity of a demon Buffy had run into the night before.

After patrol was over Xander declined the offer of hanging out at the shop with the gang stating that he needed to sleep as he had to work in the morning. Spike offered to see him home, spouting off about how he'd likely get in 'one more decent kill tonight' following after Xander.

Once they got back to Xander's place The two men relaxed back into their private selves, neither one of them needing to keep up appearances in front of each other. Spike found that he was actually relieved to be able to let down his guard, not have to play at being the Big Bad 24/7. It was a good image for him but it was nice to shake it off for a while and let someone know the real him. Even if the real him did have wanker tendencies, like reading books - which he had to wear glasses to do - and listening to classical music. The last one had surprised Xander when he found out.

Xander had headed for the shower after he hung his coat up. He knew he'd be too tired to do it in the morning if Spike had any bad dreams tonight.

Once in the shower, Xander tried to keep his thoughts from drifting to the way it felt to hold Spike in his arms, the softness of the vampires skin over the hardness of his muscles. He tried to ignore the fact that the other man fit so well against him, as if they were jig-saw puzzle pieces. He squeezed his eyes tight against the image of him standing at the foot of the bed wearing nothing but Xander's too big shorts. In the end, Xander had turned the water so cold that his lips were turning blue and he was shivering from head to toe. Unfortunately, it did little for the raging hard-on that refused to go away.

Xander stepped out of the frigid shower and proceeded to dry himself off. He refused to allow himself to think about Spike while jerking off. First of all, he was sure that Spike wasn't into guys, and even if he were, what had happened to him was enough to turn him off sex with men for the foreseeable future. Just remembering what had happened to Spike was enough to wilt his manhood.

After getting dressed, Xander sauntered out to the living room and flopped himself down on the sofa beside Spike. The vampire was watching an episode of the British improv show 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' and drinking a beer. Spike never ceased to amazed him, he was so much more than a bad-ass vampire with a cocky attitude. He was an actual person, with real likes and dislikes, with a unique personality that made Xander glad he was getting to know the real man behind the image. During a particularly funny scene on the show, Spike had laughed so hard he choked on his beer. Xander thumped him on the back and then as Spike stopped choking, he just rubbed his hand up and down on the vampires back until the coughing had subsided as well.

"Y'all right?"

"Fine, thanks. You'd think at my age, and what with not needing to breath, I wouldn't choke to a second death over a stupid TV show."

"Oh, I don't know, that Ryan Styles is pretty damn funny."

"You watch this?"

"Yeah, this one and the new one."

"They made a new one?"

"Yep. Drew Carey hosts it."

"That fat bloke that looks like Dilbert?"

Xander fell over laughing at the look of befuddlement on the vampires face, that and the fact that he knew who Dilbert was.

"Y-you know who Dilbert is?"

"Hey, I read the funnies you know."

"You know Spike, you're the strangest vampire I've ever met."

"Yeah, well, considering you don't usually talk to the ones you stake, and the only others I've seen you speak with are the poof and Harmony, I'll take that as a compliment."

"It was meant as one. I gotta work in the morning so I'm going to bed. Make sure you turn off the lights before you join me."

Xander felt the bed dip a short while later as Spike climbed in beside him. Without hesitation he rolled toward the colder body and wrapped himself around it. Spike sighed in contentment.

"You know, I could get used to this. Having a nice warm body wrapped around me."

"Mmm, I was thinking 'personal cooling device' myself. I always get so hot at night."

"Mutually beneficial then eh?"

"Too many big words, sleep now."

"Night pet."

"Night."

Spike woke in a freezing sweat, he had that dream again. He was in the park, they came after him, they hurt him. Then Xander showed up, only this time he didn't help Spike, he pulled the others off of him but then he took their place, using him, hurting him. He cried out for him to stop. That's when he woke up. Xander was still asleep, still curled protectively around him, as though he could keep him safe just by holding him close.

Spike calmed himself, chanting in his head 'just a dream, Xander would never hurt me' over and over. He looked at the sleeping form of his bed mate, all soft and sleep tousled. He wanted to know who had hurt the boy, he had his suspicions but he wanted a name. There were still a few demons who owed him favours. The horrible dream images assaulted his mind once again. He shuddered.

"Please Xan, don't ever hurt me like that. I don't think I could take it, not from you."

Xander squeezed Spike closer in response to his voice. Spike felt the human nuzzle into his neck and then the softest of kisses was placed just below his ear. It was nice, comforting, and yet somewhat... arousing. Not the best thing for Spike at that moment. It confused him, to feel aroused by Xander's innocent kiss. A kiss given in his sleep, one that the human wouldn't even remember. Spike calmed down at that thought. Xander wouldn't remember, so it was okay. He kissed the top of Xander’s head, much the same way as Xander had kissed his head that first morning.

"Sleep well pet. Pleasant dreams."

Spike eventually drifted back to sleep.