The re-education of Xander Harris

FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series
TITLE: The re-education of Xander Harris
AUTHOR: Willie J
EMAIL: wmj166@yahoo.com
ARCHIVE SITE(S): http://www.slashaholics-island.com/library/viewuser.php?uid=69; http://www.brain-insane.com/beyondcanon; http://www.adult-fanfiction.org
PAIRINGS: A/X
RATING: R but will eventually reach NC-17
WORDCOUNT:
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Buffy et all, nor Angel the Series.
FEEDBACK: Oh please send me feedback, privately or thh thh the list
DISTRIBUTION: List Archives
SPOILERS: Everything up to just before Faith killed the Mayor’s assistant
SUMMARY: Angel is determined that Xander understands the truth about demon
A/N #1: Those of Buffyverse are naturally Joss' creations, however, any and all other characters mentioned are my own.
A/N #2: This deviates greatly from Season 2. Wesley took Faith away to continue her training as a Slayer; the Mayor-becoming-a-giant-snake never happened; graduation went off without a hitch; Angel still in town and hasn’t left for L.A.
BETA'D BY: Elaine (the Mighty)


Chapter 4

Days later Angel sighed as he studied the boy's pale, drawn face. Finally Xander was asleep. Resting the book he had been pretending to read on the table, he stood up and stretched tired, tensed muscles. Dr. Adams gave him a quick look then looked away. Reg thg the stethoscope on Xander's chest he listened carefully to the reassuring thump-thump of the boy's heart.

Pulling back, he took off the stethoscope and packed it in his bag. "He seems to be stabilized and his heart's beating normally again. I think we're gonna hafta monitor his progress even more closely. On a side note, it seems like little Misty's health is improving dramatically," he said dryly. Already the tiny Nestor's legs had grown phenomenally in the five days since she had leeched herself onto the boy. Hell, you could practically see the lengthening of her legs if you watched long enough. It was like stop-animation photography.

He hid a wince at the flat look the vampire gave him. The fact that Angel didn't give a damn about the little demon girl didn't escape anybody; all the vampire was concerned with was making sure the boy lived. Giving a cryptic answer about a burgeoning witch and a Watcher, what they would do to him if Xander died wasn’t funny.

The breathing difficulty that frequented Xander was relatively easy to handle. Get the boy to calm down, and gradually he would regain his ability to breathe. Though getting Xander to that state was difficult, but Angel seemed to be able to manage it with gentle ease.

At least until now. This morning they learned a very important lesson: if Xander didn't calm down, and quickly, his terror would trigger Misty's. And this was something they discovered that should boideoided at all cost. This concerned Dr. Adams. It was what had him barreling to the vampire's quarters in the early hours of the morning. Being confronted by a panicky snarling vampire was not conducive to him helping, though.

Those damnable little filaments stopped Xander's heart!

Slumping wearily in a chair, he decided that being a doctor was a wonderful thing. CPR was a beautiful, miraculous application in the medical field. It should be heralded as the moarvearvelous thing since penicillin, he thought dreamily coming down from his euphoria of saving the boy's life.

"Is he gonna be alright?" Angel asked quietly. Crossing the room on silent feet he gently traced the curve of the boy's cheek, cursing himself for bringing the lad down here.

"Yeah, I just need to alter his meds a bit," Adams said with a weary sigh. He regarded the way the vampire hovered over the boy. He heard the rumors circulating about the two of them, the fighting, the kissing, the sudden illness that struck the young boy. It had most of the tenderhearted females sighing over tra tragic romantic duo. The feisty, spirited young boy and his dashing, older would-be lover. He snorted in contempt. Idiots! One and all.

Enough visits in their quarters, he knew what was what. And if it wasn't for moments like this, he would have thought the only thing Angel felt for the boy was grudging friendship.

The boy felt something for Angel. Nobody could fake that kind of happiness when someone walked in the door like Xander did. Every time Angel had to leave, the boy drooped. Sometimes he had to quickly disguise a laugh in a cough. Xander had an uncanny ability to channel an incredible amount of pathos in those expressive eyes. Only when Angel returned did the boy perk up; a soft glow in those wide doe-like eyes. Which was immediately countered by sna snarky, irascible comments that spewed from Xander’s lips.

He had a feeling that the snippy exchanges between the two had its foundation in sexual tension. Dr. Adams hid a sigh as he settled in one of the comfy chairs Angel had procured from somewhere. Unfortunately, he well understood why the demon was playing it cool and wasn't making any overtures.

Human males were touchy enough about their sexuality. Especially the young ones. To even allow a hint that Angel pressured Xander into a sexual tiontionship would be enough to destroy whatever chance of a bond between the two before it had even begun. Dr. Adams shook his head. No...Angel had the right idea. If Xander wanted him, the boy would have to make the move himself. But he had a feeling hell would freeze over before the boy worked up enough gumption to do so. For one so young, Xander was still bound by outdated morals of conventionality. Sighing, the old man levered himself out of the chair. Muttering quietly to Angel that he was staying in one of the empty quarters two doors down, he left the two alone.

After blowing out the lantern, Angel slid into bed and gently pulled the slumbering boy closer to him. At pains to avoid jostling Misty and doing unknown what kind of damaged to Xander. He stroked the soft disheveled locks at the restless murmur the boy gave. Dropping a kiss on the pale forehead, he smiled sadly when Xander sighed and nestled closer to him. Only in these precious moments could he let his guard down and be close.

The room was softly illuminated by the fire, its’ warm glow, a flickering pattern of shadows on the walls. And it created a false sense of intimacy that he found hard to fight. He tried. Dear God he tried to fight, but he felt like a man drowning. That is, if he still needed to breathe he would be a man drowning, he corrected himself. In the darkness, it was as if all their defenses were down. The revealineandeandering conversations during the night gave him a sharp insight into the boy. To listen to Xander talk, about his home life, Willow, his feelings about Buffy, about his respect and admiration for Rupert…they hung the moon and the stars in his life. And it was just bittersweet. Because, although Xander waxed eloquent about everyone else, the boy had nothing good to say about his own self. Just a mocking, wryly amused rhetoric that sounded as if he was reiterating what someone had drummed into the boy’s head at an early age.

Jokingly referring to himself as an immature little boy, claiming that for the first time his dad was gonna be proud to be proven right about something. But Angel could hear the naked, emotional pain behind the jesting. Though why a father would beat a child down before it even had a chance to grow, he had no idea.

Maybe to make himself look like a big man? And he had to wonder just how much Xander had unconsciouslyternterned himself after his father.

But the boy at least recognized what he was doing and was making an effort to change. Step by step, he laboured to discard the heavy burden of his father's outlook that he had unknowingly carried. Struggling to remake himself into someone he would be proud to look at in a mirror.

He and Xander had spent long hours, comfortably sprawled on the trunk, warmed by the gentle flames of the fire. He sat with the boy carefully ensconced between his legs reading poetry and books from obscured authors. Dissecting the meaning of various poets and authors. One in particular, 'Myself' by Edgar Guest, left Xander quiet and reflective. At times, he could hear the boy whispering passages to himself as if to enforce the meaning in his soul.

I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for things I have done.

I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of a man I really am;
I don't want to dress up myself in sham.

I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men's respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to look at myself and know
That I'm bluster and bluff and empty show.

I can never hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

The setting, the now familiar surroundings created an effect of drawing them closer. Delicately weaving bonds of companionship as each man cautiously let down the defensive barriers that kept the world at bay and their hearts protected. Cradling the boy in his arms, they quietly talked, revealing much of themselves. Softly amazed at the way some of their views and opinions often coincided. In the easy companionship that slowly grew, they could argue cheerfully with one another when they disagreed on one subject or another.

Angel groaned softly. Of all people that he found sexually attractive, why did it have to be Xander?! What was with these Sunnydale people? Was he going to fall for Rupert next? Or who knows, maybe Willow was next? He thought wildly. Slowly an image of Rupert sprawled naked on a bed, a come hither look on his face. Whoa! Now that’s a scary thought! He shuddered slightly. His balls drew up as if in agreement to the sheer horror. And at the thought of fucking the shy Willow, profound dismay had his stomach churning. No, I can definitely rule out both of them, was the rueful thought.

It had to be the fact that he was taking care of the boy that fostered the unwilling attraction. That and the vulnerability that was revealed, as well as the trust the youth gave him. Not that Xander had much of a choice, there really wasn’t anyone that could take care of such intimate details as bathing, brushing Xander’s teeth and combing his hair.

At first, it was deeply mortifying for them both. The young man’s face was beet red the first two times a cloth was shoved between his legs. A look that changed quickly to wrath when a toothbrush was shoved into his mouth. But gradually, Xander became resigned to being bathed by a man he once claimed was evil in disguise.

Angel paused, regarding the boy’s sleeping face with brooding eyes. Not that anybody would claim Xander looked his best. What with the dark circles under his eyes. And despite their best efforts, the boy was becoming increasingly gaunt as Misty’s voracious need to repair her damaged body slowly consumed him.

Only a madman would find such a person attractive. Or a horny man, Angel added wryly. Sighing, he settled himself closer to the unconsciously tempting body, and ordered himself to sleep. Firmly deciding to deal with all of this another day.


~ ~Xander sat on the white, pristine beach with Willow and Jesse. Quietly talking and laughing with them, he shifted sand between his fingers as he watched Misty play in the surf. One last hurrah. He sighed, their time in this beautiful dreaming place was coming to an end. In an unusual introspective mood, he sat quietly beside the memories of his friends and examined his feelings. In the short time that he had been co-joined with Misty, his whole world had shifted almost 90 degrees off it’s axis. He was no longer the shallow, immature boy that sprouted so many unbelievable ‘truths’ with so much conviction. He cringed remembering the words that dripped from his lips.

For a while, he had felt cast adrift, anchorless and unsure of who or what he was. His world, his very self had changed and become so different than what he once used to be. Jostling confusion was paramount in him, and he was no longer able to see in any direction. He couldn’t go back. And while the path was dark and smoothy, he felt a deep abhorance of returning to that ignorant piece of shit.

Yet the path in front of him was cloudy and hazy. He couldn’t see, and couldn’t help but wonder what lay ahead. It had scared him more than anything. His thoughts turned to Angel, the one he secretly called friend. The man of the golden voice.

Angel was always there. His voice a shining beacon, calling him, showing him the way past the jagged, painful rocks that tripped him up. Whispering comfort, giving him a hand up when he stumbled and fell. A shield that he was able to shelter behind, slowly growing strong enough to stand on his own. Teaching him, all without a word, how to be the man he was meant to be.

If ever he found a wo reo repay Angel for everything the vampire had done for him, he would take it. And count the cost later.

Xander sighed and looked around at the beautiful dreamwold of sun, sand and fun. It was so dark when he was conscious that she always got scared, so together they made this place to ease her loneliness and keep connected. There were toys aplenty for them both. He got to relive his childhood. A good one this time with a warm and loving father that looked and sounded remarkably like Giles, and a mother that hugged and loved him like Joyce Summers. He even introduced Misty to his memories of Jesse and Willow. To Buffy and Giles. Though she was hesitant to get too near them the last two. However, Willow and Jesse kept her from being lonely while he was awake.

He took a long look at the imaginary purple sky and smiled. Misty's contribution to this dreamworld that they jointly created. The turquoise sea and white sand was his. He vetoed her idea of living underground; they compromised on the tiny dark shack.

He smiled at her barking laughter when the waves crashed over her. As expected she came galloping back to him. Laughing he extended the towel for her and swept her wet shivering body in his arms. Huge mint-green eyes blinked cheerfully up at him, a mischievous grin playing on her tiny face. Unnoticed, Willow and Jesse faded away. Back to the place they resided, deep within the wellspring of his memories.


"You silly girl, I told you the waves were too rough," he teased gently; briskly rubbing her rotund, furry little body.

//"Did not,"// she immediately chimed back at him. Although her lips didn't move, he heard her loud and clear.

"Did so," he smirked back at her. Sadness eating away at him despite his playfulness.

//"Nuh uh."// Long simian arms wrapped around his neck as he stood up carefully. He turned and made his way back to the small shack that served as their home.

Her skinny arms tightened before she lay her head on his shoulder with a weary sigh. //"When we get on the outside, will you still be my friend?"//

Xander paused in midstep, his eyes watering slightly. "Always, babygirl," he answered hoarsely, his arms holding her closer.

//"But I hurt you...!"// came her tiny scared voice.

"I know...and I forgive you. 'Sides, I hurt someone special too and now look at me and him."

//"And you're so in looooove with him,"// she chanted mischievously up at him and wiggled hastily out of his arms. She ran laughing from their home, her sadness forgotten in her endless quest to tease her friend.

Xander blushed and charged after her. "I so do NOT! He's my friend!"

Catching up to her, he swung the giggling little demon back into his arms. Blinking, they gazed solemnly at each other.

//"Promise me that we'll be friends..."//

"Pinky promise," he replied through the thickening of his throat. He hugged her close before stepping into their one bedroom shack.

They were going home.~ ~


Xander sighed in his sleep and his body made a slight jerk. It woke Angel up instantly. The vampire sat up and peered at the sleeping boy. Then blinked. And blinked again. Hurriedly he snatched Xander from the bed and put the boy in the comfortable chair. Just in case.

Then he sent for Dr. Adams and the Nestors while keeping a careful watch on the piteously chirping bundle of fur. There was no fucking way he was going near her! He didn’t care how the sounds tugged at his heart; ‘sides, he was dead. His heart was supposed to be withered and dried up. Or so he told himself as he tried to ignore the chirping child.

Xander yawned as he came awake. He yelped in surprise at the vastly different place he now was in. “Dude, warn a guy the next time,” he said mildly at the wild look Angel gave him.


After that, it was practically all over except for the fat lady singing. Angel sat in awe at the glorious voice Tanglefoot had. What ever she was saying or singing he badly wanted to make a recording. Who knew Nestors had such beautiful voices?!

Gathering their daughter, the Nestor prepared to sweep from the room. For the first time, Angel saw why Xander was so protective of Misty. One look into those huge, melting eyes and he wanted to find the nearest dragon to slay for her.

Tanglefoot hesitated at the door. Now that the crisis was past she was well within her rights to rescind their invited status into the Family Draken-dal. But one look at her daughter, and another at how unnaturally thin the human had become and she thought better. “Should you ever need assistance, your Family, Draken-dal, stands ready to help,” she said quietly to Angel. She gave a slight bow to his human mate.

His daughter now firmly in his arms, Echo-in-Darkness watched quietly. He changed subtly from the lighthearted young Nestor of the previous week. It had been a most painful and sobering experience for the young father. His first child, hurt and wounded. And he wasn’t able to comfort or be with her to avoid putting her in further danger. He leaned gratefully against the reassuring bulk of his husband, Blazeroot.

A mournful chirp came from Misty; she peered at Xander with tragic eyes. But at the slow smile he sent her, a mischievous sparkle began to take shape in her eyes. He laughed weakly. Once her feet finished growing, she was going to be a holy terror to her parents.

With uncommon patience he held still while Dr. Adams checked him out. He peeked at Angel a time or two. Growing more puzzled by the overly casual pacing Angel was doing behind the doctor. It almost reminded him of some kinda animal uneasy by interlopers in its den. He turned his attention back to Dr. Adams, who was assuring him that the weakness in his limbs would pass. Gathering his stuff, the old man brusquely told him to continue taking his medicine every day for the next 30 days and then left.

Xander eyed Angel. During his examination, they had switched places. He was back on the bed while the vampire lounged at the table. Watching him. Just freaking watching him with no expression on his face. Although Angel had the poker face down pat, there was something different about this non-expression of his. For one thing it was giving him the wigs. He frowned. But he wasn’t scared. He just had a feeling something…was going on that he couldn’t see. Whatever was happening was causing butterflies to grow in his stomach.

“So, how ‘bout them Dodgers?!” he exclaimed with false brightness. Then groaned at the sheer stupidity of his words. Note to self: Think before speaking!

Angel allowed an amused smile to play across his face. He knew he was making Xander nervous but he couldn’t help it. Deciding to take pity on the boy, he played along. “Yeah, how ‘bout them?” He smiled at the grateful look Xander gave him. He got up and casually sauntered to the bed. “Ready for your bath?” Without giving the boy a chance to respond, he scooped Xander from the bed and headed for the bathroom.

Xander flushed. Somehow without Misty between them, having Angel bath him felt…
Different. “Uhm, maybe we could sorta postpone the bathing until I get my strength back…” he said hastily. Giving an utterly false laugh, he continued, “Hey don’t want you to have all the fun.” Then quivered at the look Angel gave him. An unreadable look descended on the vampire’s face. But there was some unnamable emotion that flared in the seemingly blank eyes that had his butterflies mutating into bats.

“I don’t mind,” Angel said huskily as he lowered the boy into the stone bath. Quickly he had the youth sprawled naked and blushing a furious red now that he had nothing covering his body. Turning on the spigots to fill the bath, he adjusted the water and began bathing the gaunt young man.

Eyeing Angel’s neutral expression, Xander thought unhappily that it was one thing for Angel to feed, bath and clothe him every day when he was really unable to do it himself. But it was totally different when he didn’t have Misty as a buffer. Sinking into his reverie he paid little attention to Angel’s action. His thoughts dark and gloomy as he brooded on his situation. With Misty gone there wasn’t much of a barrier anymore between him and those broad hands. Hands that washed him with rough enthusiasm. Hands that were sweeping…his eyes widened and a tiny ‘eep’ escaped his lips.

“Angel…!” His voice was shocked.

With a small smirk, Angel removed his caressing hand from the boy’s genitals. “I thought that would get your attention,” he remarked blandly, though a devilish look sparkled in his eyes.

Xander blinked. “I would think you’d get anybody’s attention with THAT move! And what happed to simply saying, ‘Yo, Xander!’ huh?!” His voice was heated, and his face was a fiery red.

Angel sighed and wondered what ever happened to his calm and orderly life. “I’ve been calling your name for three minutes,” he said patiently. “But apparently your mind was elsewhere.” There was a look of polite inquiry on his face.

Xander paused, just now noticing the cooling water. “Oh…” he said in a small voice as Angel lifted him out of the tub into towel draped arms. “Well, you didn’t have to put your hands…down there,” he finished in a whisper. And blushed again.

Laying the boy on the bed with the towel Angel smirked. “It’s no place my hands haven’t been before. ‘Sides, my way was much more fun,” he whispered back as he began toweling Xander off.

“For you, not for me!” Xander insisted firmly. He flushed and looked away from the penetrating look Angel gave him.

Kindly Angel chose not to comment. Slipping a pair of pajamas on Xander’s lean body, he eased the drowsy youth back onto the bed before retreating to the bathroom to clean up.

By the time he finished, Xander was fast asleep once more. Angel broodingly studied the dark half-circles under the pale translucent lids. He sighed and shook his head at the boy’s heedless foolishness. If Xander was so interested in turning over a new leaf, he couldn’t have picked a more stupid way to do so. Despite everything they did, Misty still managed to siphon off more than a third of the boy’s bodyweight. Everything they fed Xander, seemed to go directly into Misty greedily consuming body, plus a significant reserve of the boy’s bodyfat.

Xander was gaunt and almost skeletal looking. He looked like a hummingbird could kick his ass with one wing tied behind it’s back. Pathetic.

And what flashed though his mind was a hard driving need to fuck the boy silly. Shocked by that thought, Angel stepped away from the bed. Oh, I am so screwed, he moaned silently to himself.

Retreating to the overstuffed, comfortable chair he sat there. Just studying the puzzling bundle of humankind that snored gently in the bed. Round and round his thoughts circled in his mind, until wearily, he fell asleep.

* * *

To Angel’s endless source of fascination, it took Xander a total of three days to regain his mobility. Two more days to began causing trouble. Oh, no it wasn’t by himself that he caused it, Angel thought darkly. He had help. Lots of help from the irrepressible merrymakers, the Erosno demons.

Now people were accosting him in the tunnels, some complaining about the pranks being waged on them and others to slap him on the back, laughing as they congratulated him on bringing a spot of fresh air in Undervale. Always the central character was Xander. The boy did this; the boy did that. Or ‘did you see the look on Jerome’s face when…?’

He had originally called upon the small clan to help Xander recover his strength. The Erosnos were a good match for the boy. Merry, jovial and always up for a good laugh. It didn’t hurt that Erosno demons were complete sensualists. They were very tactile with everyone they met. It would give Xander another opportunity to further his knowledge of demons. Though he had made it very plain that in regard to any amorous activities, Xander was strictly off limits. He ignored the knowing look in Jaile’s silvery-blue, amused eyes.

Now that he had time to come to his senses the question begged an answer: What the hell was he thinking when he thought the Erosno demons would be a good way for Xander to recover his strength? Why? He should have known that the boy would fit too well within the clan of laughing demons.

A snide inner voice slyly asked if he was jealous because the boy didn’t seem to need him now? Strongly, Angel protested that he wasn’t. Not really. Well, Xander could at least look back when he ran off to play with THEM! Shocked at his petulant thought,
Angel blinked coming back to himself, finding himself gazing into Xander’s worried eyes.

They were sitting opposite each other at a table in the dining room. For once, choosing to eat their dinner among the native dwellers of the underground community.

“Deadboy…? Angel…? You okay in there?” Xander whispered urgently. He was concerned about the blank, stunned look that was in the vampire’s eyes. He cast a wary look around, flushing at some of the hostile looks still directed towards him. Casting his eyes down, he chewed nervously on his lips. Half-way certain that coming to the central dining room was a singularly bad idea. But he wanted to get out of their living quarters; the atmosphere in there was starting to feel…strange.

Looking up, he saw Skoal headed their way. He groaned quietly. Yep, coming to the dining room was definitely a huge, whoopin’ bad idea.

In their quarters, he could keep the irritating blonde out, but in public…he shook his head. In public he had to play nice and put up with the twisted little freak. Damn bastard didn’t know how to keep his hands to himself, he grumbled silently. Like Angel really liked being touched all the time.

He directed a cold unwelcome glare at the sleek and elegant young man; the weight of his stare gaining heat at the sly, nasty smile on Skoal’s face. Bastard!

Settling easily into a seat at Angel’s side, the blonde touched the vampire gently to draw his attention. “Hello, I almost gave up hope that you and Xander would ever venture out your dank little quarters,” he said lightly. A slight amused smile on his face giving levity to his words, despite the cool questioning look in his eyes.

Angel blinked, and raised his brows. He cast a puzzled look at Xander. Confused by the scent of anger and despair wafting from the boy. His brows went up even further at the hot glare Xander was giving Skoal.

The blonde, seeing the puzzled look on Angel’s face leaned to whisper in his ear, “Methinks, your little boy is jealous and doesn’t like sharing your attention.” He drew back with a tiny, amused smile as if to share in the joke of Xander being jealous. Glancing surreptitiously beneath long lashes at the effect his words had on Angel. Carefully he hid his smile of satisfaction. He saw Angel’s jaw tighten, his little seedling that Xander was far too young for Angel was taking root. He was quite sure that Angel’s mind would slide to the next logical part, that the vampire’s unwonted attraction to Xander was like that of a pedophile. A child molester.

Xander, straining his ears to the utmost, heard what Skoal said. He drew in a furious breath to refute the charge. His mouth opened and ready to blast the smirk off the blonde’s face when his attention was attracted by the startled hush that fell over the room. A glance to the left and right showed, humans and demons alike frozen in the act of eating. Confused, he glanced up. His face lighting up at the sight of the Nestors cutting a swath through the room like imperious jungle cats.

Skoal’s eyes widened as he saw the hulking demons cg tog towards them. He scrambled hastily to his feet, a distinct feeling of dread overcoming him. A feeling he knew was shared by the majority of the citizens of Undervale. Very few wanted or felt any desire to tangle with Nestors.

To his shock, he saw Xander dart past him…straight into the Nestors! His shock was further compounded by the tiny figure that leaped from the ring of insectile warriors into Xander’s outstretched arms.

“Misty…!” Ignoring all else, Xander swung her into the air. Laughing delightedly at her barking laughter. Uncaring that two of the insectile warriors broke off from the main body surrounding the Nestors to follow him as he headed to the buffet table.

Angel got up and strolled over to the Nestors, leaving Skoal reeling in shock. Slapping forearms in greeting, he quietly began speaking with them. This was the first that he had seen of the demons since Misty and Xander had separated. Now that the girl wasn’t threatening his boy’s life, he could afford to be concerned about her and her parents.

Keeping half an eye on Xander who was chasing Misty around the food table, he conversed with Tanglefoot and the others. Long story short, he found out that his adopted Family was involved in a blood feud with the other Family, the Harken-dals. So far, the casualties were all on the other side. He didn’t notice the awed looks on the diners’ faces towards him, or Xander as he became engrossed in the conversation with the Nestors. Nor was he aware of the public opinion towards his boy shifting. If the Nestors associated with Xander, the boy couldn’t possibly be THAT bad, could he?

Xander, meanwhile, was giggling as he chased after the mischievous girl. It was good to see her moving, running after their separation. It felt wonderful to actually hear what her voice sounded like in reality instead of in their little dream world. He ignored the growing shortness of his breath, just as Misty ignored the aching sensation in her newly grown feet. At least they both ignored it until Xander collapsed to his knees, struggling to breathe.

Whistling her distress, she took a step towards him, then back. The aching feeling in her feet developing into a burning pain. Gasping, she fell on her bottom and chirped weakly through her agony. The two bodyguards restlessly chittered as they looked on. Then moving abruptly, one grabbed her and raced back to the Nestors while the other stood guard over Xander. It chirperrierriedly, patting his head and back. At the sight of the vampire and Nestors rushing towards them, it stood back. Then jumping high into the air it flipped and shot a sticky line of webbing straight at the ceiling. Then dangling above the circle it hung, watching the proceedings. In the air and out of the way as Angel coaxed a panicking Xander into breathing.

Taking the boy’s head in his hands, Angel stared down into the wide, terrorfilled eyes. “Shhh, calm down…it’s okay...everything going to be okay. Xander, listen to me...I’m not gonna let you go. I’m here for you. Remember what Dr. Adams’ said? The more you panic during the attacks, the harder it is for you to breathe.” He saw the acknowledgement in the huge brown eyes. Taking a deep breath to encourage Xander, he whispered, “Remember us, sitting in front of the fireplace? Just you and me, reading…talking…laughing? Remember how peaceful it was? How quiet things seemed? Remember?”

Angel’s words were a soothing, calming balm to the terror that cast a suffocating shadow over Xander’s nose and mouth. Clinging with all his strength to the quiet promise of support in Angel’s eyes, Xander frantically cast his mind to the tranquil restful scene. Quiet, enjoyable time spent with the vampire wrapped around him. Closing his eyes, he pulled that memory from his treasure trove of goodtimes. Just listening to that comforting voice helped ease the turbulent and black stormtossed waters thhreahreatened to pull him under.

Between one second to the next, the hoarse sucking sound of Xander drawing a lungful of precious air was loud in the hushed stillness of the dining room. To their surprise, many of the people cheered lustily at the sound.

Xander slumped exhaustedly in Angel’s arms, hardly aware that he was swung up and cradled tenderly to the broad chest. He grinned tiredly up at first Angel, then at Misty’s spidery bodyguard, blinking in confusion when it dropped to the ground and chirped. Cocking its head to the side, it chirped again. Receiving no answer, it reached into the pouch at its waist and popped a piece of chocolate in his mouth.

Skoal closed his mouth at the sight of Xander held in Angel’s arms. The sickening rage that made up so much of him, deepened at the awed, respectful looks directed at Xander. And the looks of suspicion directed at him. People weren’t stupid. Some were even capable of putting 2 and 2 together. Coming to the conclusion that the blonde-haired half-breed was behind a good portion of the rumors circulating about Angel’s boy. About how Xander took part in a ritual that harvested demon organs. Or that he regularly killed dozens of demons every day.

They felt angry and sheepish to have believed the gossip about the young man. Should have known that Angel would never choose someone that was so unworthy, so blatantly unfit to be a demon’s mate. Maybe before, they could have believed it. Would have believed it based on the boy’s atde wde when he first came downside, but not now. Not when Xander tried so earnestly to understand them. Asking questions, and remaining somewhat unjudgmental when he saw some of their less unsavory cultural exchanges. He was still easy to squick out, but at least now he didn’t look at them with that holier-than-thou contemptuous face.

* * *
“Angel…” Xander called as he looked over his shoulder. He was growing more concerned and puzzled at the number of people smiling at him, and slapping him on the back. This was the second day after the dining room incident that he had been congratulated. For what, he couldn’t quite figure out just yet. All he knew was just about everybody was acting real friendly towards him.

“Hmm…?” Angel barely paused in his step as they walked back to their quarters. His jaw was clenched from the disturbing sight when he had arrived at the Erosno domicile. His eyes were slowly bleeding to an ugly yellow color as he struggled to master his rage. He told them that the boy was off limits! They goddamn well knew that they had better keep their hands off of his boy! They knew.

He willingly ignored the fact that it was Xander that had his hands on the female Erosno, and not the other way around.

It was a bit of a shock to walk in, expecting to see the familiar sight of the boy playing Kitten poker with some of the other Erosnos. Instead, he was treated to the sight of Xander sitting on the counter with Jilly resting between his spread legs. And if that wasn’t enough, he was rubbing her shoulders and laughing down into her face!

Xander peered at Angel closely, set expression and sighed. “Nevermind…” he muttered in defeat. Lowering his head, he trudged along silently after the morose and brooding vampire. Then he perked up slightly, a secretive look of glee on his face. Two more days! Two more days! He almost did a Happy Dance in his enthusiastic joy. He could only hope that his performance would wipe that sour look off Angel’s face. He had been practicing so hard with the others in his group. They were going to perform the dance of Connubialis Suscitatio! He mouthed the words slowly to himself, hardly able to stand keeping this a secret. Boy, was Angel gonna be surprised at the Jamboree the day after tomorrow. Especially when he started dancing!

That would show Angel just how well he had been learning to understand his neighbors below ground. ‘Sides, he actually found himself liking most of them. Hell, some of them acted just like humans, if not better than them. Especially the way they treated their kids, he thought darkly. Remembering the screaming and yelling that ritually took place in his home. His dad apparently couldn’t function without a drink in his hand, or speak without shouting and calling people a whole bunch of nasty names!

etlyetly he was often amazed at how far he had come in such a short time. While the easiest thing to do, it was also the hardest to let go of his prejudices. Because to finally come face to face with your own inner demons was the toughest thing he had ever done. He wanted to crawl into a dark corner and die. But he didn’t. He wouldn’t. Every time he felt like doing that, he would look at Angel for inspiration. If the vampire, who he secretly called his friend, was capable of standing up and fighting the good fight then he should be able as well. He shuddered slightly…he almost came close to being the man his father was.

Casting off his maudlin thoughts, he focused on what Angel’s face would look like the day after tomorrow. He couldn’t wait to see Angel’s face! Xander couldn’t resist doing a few dance steps in happiness.

Angel glanced at the boy, smiling in puzzled confusion. He didn’t know what caused the sudden ebullient mood, but it was always worth a smile or two to watch Xander bounce with happiness. Slowly he lost his smile, a brooding look coming into his eyes as they stepped into their quarters. Xander was chattering a mile a minute, about whe whe wasn’t exactly sure, something to do with one of the Erosno and a sore shoulder.

Placing Xander’s dinner on the table he urged the boy to eat. Cowardly deciding to tell him the news after dinner.

Damn! Who know the kid could eat so fast, Angel grumbled to himself ten minutes later. Well, nothing to it but to do it. He sighed mentally already dreading what he had to say.

“Xander…” he began abruptly, stopping the boy in midspeech. Wide, sparkling eyes focused on him. He adverted his eyes for the bright look of joy in Xander’s eyes. “We’re going back topside in two weeks.”

Xander felt like he had been punched in the stomache ble blinked rapidly. Top-side? Back above ground? He looked slowly around the familiar surroundings, feeling Angel watching him worriedly. He waved a hand vaguely to reassure him. Okay…I can handle this, he said shakily to himself. It’s gonna be okay. Willow’s topside, so is Buffy, Giles and Oz. But there were so many more below ground that he liked as well.

“Ar…are…are…you sure that…uhm…that…we hafta go?” he said in a shaky rasp. He hid his trembling hands under the table.

“Yeah…” Angel replied softly. His eyes were grave and sympathetic. He hid a wince at the anguished look in the boy’s eyes, before long lashes swiftly descended. Hiding the expression in Xander’s gaze.

“Oh…”

“And then I’m leaving Sunnydale…for good.” At his words Xander looked up and Angel had to look away from the wide frozen stare.

“A…away?” The young man managed to stammer out, not sure if he heard correctly.

Tightening his jaw, Angel simply nodded.

“oh…”

Licking his lips, Xander thought about what it would mean. To not see Angel every night, to not hear him reciting poetry and talking to him. His heart clenched painfully in his chest at the uncomfortable thought. “Bu…but…what about Buffy? I mean, you love her! You can’t …leave her! And…and your…redemption? What about it?! So you…
you…hafta stay, doncha?!” He looked desperately at the vampire, wildly clutching at straws.

Angel raised his head and regarded the boy’s tear bright eyes. “No…what Buffy and I had is over. Sure, there’ll alway a p a place in my heart for her. But while I respect the hell out of her, I don’t love her,” he said softly. His words gentling, as the boy’s eyes swam with tears. He searched for the right words to convey his feelings. “Xander, there’s a whole world of evil out there. Sunnydale…it belongs to Buffy. This is her territory, her proving ground…not mine. My redemption doesn’t lie fighting at her side, backing her up. It rests with me. Showing the Powers that Be that I am one of their warriors, that I truly desire this chance at redemption. And I can’t do that, not in Sunnydale.”

Xander got up from the chair like an old man. He wrapped his arms around his waist protectively and wandered away from the table. His back to Angel, he asked, “Does Buffy know? Know that you’re leaving?” His voice was harsh, thick with tears that he refused to shed. He took a long shuddering breath, feeling a god awful pain in his chest. Vaguely he wondered if he was too young to have a heart attack.

“Yes…”

Angel watched the boy worriedly. Praying that Xander didn’t embarrass them both by asking to come along. He didn’t want to fall for another Sunnydaler; he was all too aware of the unconscious, yet flirty and provocative looks that the boy had been giving him. Those heated little glances stroked over hime a e a physical caress. He would stiffen up so fast he had to hurriedly excuse himself from the room.

It took everything in his power not to return the boy’s gaze, and turn it into something that would have them both moaning with pleasure. Half the time, he didn’t know whether it was unconscious or conscious, the way Xander played at being a little coquette. But until Xander made his desires plain, he had no intention of coercing the boy into any type of sexual relationship.

He continued watching Xander, feeling helpless and regretful about his decision to leave. Maybe if he had known this Xander, perhaps he would have…

Made the decision to leave anyway, he sighed. Sunnydale belonged to Buffy. She was more than capable of defending and championing the citizens of the Hellmouth.

“Xander, I’m…” he began but the boy whirled around a bright, wobbly smile on his face.

“Sorry?! Why be sorry? This is like your chance, man; you know, to be the guy that swoops down and rescues people! I’m happy for ya! Really, really happy.” He faltered, his happy smile dimming at the searching look Angel gave him.

He rushed in a torrent of words, saying anything and everything that popped in his head. He sidled towards the door, babbling with manic intensity.

Winking at Angel, he gave the vampire a shrewd man-to-man look as he added, “’Sides, we all know Buffy was just holding you back. From your…your…heroing,” he finished lamely. The desire to escape to a nice, dark and safe place was nearly overwhelming. He turned and reached for the door, desperate to run away. Cowardly? Sure, but hey I never said I was a hero, was his painful thought.

Unfortunately his escape plans were foiled by a broad shouldered immortal suddenly standing behind him and holding the door shut. Frantically, he tugged harder, his throat thick and his nose becoming clogged with tears he refused to shed.

“Let me go! I forgot something at Jilly’s…!” he shouted.

“What…?” Angel said gently, the smell of grief, pain and loneliness pouring off toy woy was staggering. He knew Xander liked him, and was interested in him…but for Xander to care this much?

“My…my…clothes! I forgot my clothes! Now let me out, dammit!”

“Xander, we need to talk about…” Angel started to say.

“What’s there to talk about? You’re leaving on your grand adventure; I’m not!” Xander flushed at his childish wail of loss. He renewed his struggle to escape.

“You don’t understand…!” Angel said in frustration. He continued to hold the door shut. He knew that if Xander got away from him now, the boy would be gone and it would take hours to find him. They needed to talk.

But suddenly the door was shoved open, allowing Xander to wiggle through the opening and dart away. Angel made a hasty grab, but was too late to stop him. The large, horned demon peered bemusedly down at the angry vampire.

“Angel…I…wanted…to…talk…to…you…about…the…mine…shaft,” it said with excruciating slowness. Angel growled his impatience.

“Look, you’re gonna hafta talk to Degan; he’s the one in charge, not me,” he said rapidly. Grabbing a cloak from the hook on the wall, it got cold at night and Xander left without a jacket, he ducked past the startled behemoth. Yelling for it to close the door when it left, he chased after the boy.

Despite the confusing scents that overlapped Xander’s he was able to track the boy. He was unsurprised to find the young man perched on a flat rock in one of the many caves that riddled the underground. It was their favorite place to simply sit and talk. Stepping quietly, he made his way over to Xander. By the slight stiffening of the boy’s shoulders, he knew Xander awa aware of him.

He settled beside the boy, placing the cloak around them both. Making sure Xander got the lion’s share of the warm material. Then joined the boy in the contemplative gaze at the sparkling underground water. When he felt a warm weight lean into him, he merely lifted his arm and hugged the boy closer.

“I’m sorry I acted like a jackass,” Xander said quietly. He rested his head on Angel’s chest. Automatically finding the right comfort zone on the vampire’s broad torso. It was a well familiar spot, one that he used extensively when he was joined with Misty.

“No apologies are necessary,” Angel replied roughly. “I should have told you, maybe told everybody that I was leaving Sunnydale. Maybe if I had that dustup at Rupert’s place wouldn’t have happened.”

“Yeah, and maybe I would still be that same smug, arrogant no-nothing idiot,” the boy responded evenly. He shook his head. “I’m glad you didn’t say anything. Now that I’ve gotten the chance to know this ‘Me’, I like him a lot better than the old ‘Me’. The old Xander was lucky you didn’t accidentally on purpose kill him. Trust me, that wouldn’t have been much of a loss,” he added cynically. He was very much surprised at the low growl that came from Angel.

Startled he sat up, only to have a pissed off vampire, in full demonface, glaring at him. “Every life is a loss; demon, humans…it doesn’t matter! You had some stupid, crazy opinions, but you fought, beating back the Darkness outside and inside. Despite what you may think about that Xander, he was loyal, courageous and a fighter. Dumb and ignorant as he was, obviously he had something going for him. Some part of him was capable of understanding that there was something wrong with him, with the way he was thinking. That part that lead to the new Xander Harris,” Angel finished softly. He tapped the boy’s chest gently with a closed fist. “A new Xander that I’m proud ave ave had the privilege of watching grow.”

The young man blushed furiously at the pe ane and ducked his head shyly. His heart thumping erratically in his chest at that warm gaze directed towards him. All sorts of interesting tingly sensations flickered crazily throughout his body, before settling in one southern loc…he firmly stopped thinking about a certain stirring in his pants.

Abruptly to distract himself, he recalled what Angel had said before. Pulling back, he raised his hand and glanced at the vampire. “You said you weren’t in love with Buffy anymore? When did this happen?” Then his face darkened. “Does that mean you’re in love with Skoal?” Try as he might, he couldn’t stop the blech sound in his voice.

Angel gave Xander a level look; misunderstanding the reason for the disgusted face the boy wore. “I believe we’ve had this conversation before.”

“Yes, yes we did!” Xander said rapidly, his eyes wide. He was so NOT remembering that night, nor was he going to remember the sweet insanity of kissing Angel. And he was definitely not going to recall how he felt because hey, he was so ungay that it was laughable. Ha ha…hehehe. See? Laughter.

“And I’m not saying anything about that, I mean about your…sexual activities,” he said carefully. Peeking up at Angel beneath his lashes to make sure demonyAngel was not gonna pull another kissy punishment on him. “I’m just…it’s just that…it’s Skoal!”

The older male rolled his eyes. “I know it’s Skoal. You just want me back with Buffy,” he said teasingly. At the hot reply he saw on Xander’s lips, he held up a hand and cried peace. “Don’t get your knickers in a bunch…no, I’m not in love with him. It was just sex between us. Once I found out my curse had been nullified, I felt like…
experimenting.” Angel’s slow reminiscent smile was a slash of erotic wickedness. It sent shivers through the mortal youth that rested trustingly against him. It caused a weird, disturbing sensation in the boy’s stomach.

“Ant wit with Buffy?” Xander squeaked out, his gaze intent on that darkly, seductive look.

Slowly Angel’s smile faded, disappeared into a sorrow. “Not with Buffy,” he quietly agreed. He sighed and ruefully said, “’Sides, it’s always kinda difficult to get all romantic and aroused by someone that shoved a freaking sword in you, then sent you to hell.” Immediately he felt the boy tense in his arms and looked down inquiringly.

Xander moved away. But that wasn’t far enough; the comforting weight of Angel’s arm was about his shoulders. With lowered eyes, he removed that as well and slipped from under the warm cloak. He sat shivering, goosebumps dotting his arms and legs in the cooling underground air. “It wasn’t Buffy that sent you to hell,” he said at last. Visible tremors wracked his frame. It wasn’t only from cold that he shook. “It was me. I lied to her. I told her that Willow…”

“…said to ‘Kick his ass’, I know.” Angel nodded to Xander’s shock. The boy gaped opened-mouth at the vampire. A slight smile kicked up the corners of the older man’s mouth. “What? Did you think I didn’t know?”

“Well, yeah…” came the confused answer.

“I’ve known for several months what happened that day. When I came back from Hell, I felt something was wrong with me. What it was, I couldn’t quite figure out. All I knew was that there was a definite weight on my soul that had never been there before. Dark thoughts of pain and blood would sometimes wake me up, gasping and just short of screaming. I was afraid that maybe I was going to lose my soul again, so I came to see the shamans. Hoping that they could give me some answers about what was happening to me. They did their mumbo jumbo. There was smoke, there were mirrors and I saw Willow in the hospital telling you about the spell to restore my soul. I heard you and Buffy. I heard you tell Buffy that Willow said to kick my ass.” He held the boy’s shamed, tear bright gaze evenly.

“You…you’re taking this awfully calmly,” Xander stuttered out.

“Calmly?” Angel thought for a few moments. “Yeah, but when I first saw what you had done…calm is far from what I felt. If I could have, I would have ripped you from limb to limb. And at the time, I felt even that was too good for you. I wanted to make you suffer an eternity of pain. I wanted to see you writhing in torment. Just like I did in hell.” Angel’s face took on a fearsome dark menace.

“And is this what all this was about? Your getting revenge? Making me think we’re friends, then kicking me to the curb?” Xander managed to say with enviable steadiness. His eyes were dark, but he held his head up high. If Angel said yes, it was still only what he deserved. God, he had fucked up big time!

Startled, Angel glanced at the boy. “NO!” he exclaimed in shock. Then reaching out, he pulled the tensed figure into his arms. “No,” he repeated much more calmly. “It was during my planning of what I was going to do to you that something occurred to me. Now while I’m not quite up on the vernacular of speech these days, it changes so rapidly. But even I know that when someone says, ‘kick his ass’ they are generally not telling another person to kill someone.”

Xander pulled away again. He frowned at Angel’s pained face. “What are you talking about? I’m the one that lied! If it hadn’t been for me, Buffy would have…”

“…still slid that sword in my chest.”

so so not liking the way you keep interrupting me!” The young man grumbled sourly. It made Angel grin despite his sorrow.

“Xander, Buffy knew what the prophecy said. My blood could open the portal, my blood could close it.”

The boy sighed. “Yeah, too bad Angelus managed to open it. If he hadn’t done that, Buffy wouldn’t have had to…” he stopped abruptly. Not wanting to remind the other of what the blonde girl had done.

“No Xander, you’re missing the point,” Angel said patiently. “My blood closes the portal.”

Xander frowned, thinking on Angel’s words. Then he gasped, his eyes darting up to the pained brown gaze. The vampire nodded. “Only a small amount of my blood was needed to close the portal.” His lips twisted in an unamused grin. “But you know Buffy, she’s always willing to go that extra mile.”

“I’m sorry…” Xander pulled the vampire in his arms to provide comfort. Trying to give back some of what Angel had been giving him. “It was my fault! If I hadn’t lied, hadn’t made Buffy confused about what she was doing, maybe she wouldn’t have… done what she did.” He stroked the tensed figure’s head gently. “Be mad and pissed off at me, not her. It was all my fault.”

Angel rested for a minute in the boy’s embrace. Feeling some of his torment ease. Xander felt amazingly good, he thought to himself under the soothing caress. He was embarrassed at feeling a purr beginning to rumble in his throat. He pulled away gently. “Thank you…but it took three people to bring us to this point. Angelus, you and Buffy. Maybe if Angelus hadn’t been so insane and was willing to destroy the world, then maybe we never would have gotten to this point. Maybe if you hadn’t been so jealous of me, so afraid of Angelus getting the better of Buffy, maybe you wouldn’t have lied. Maybe if Buffy had given some more thought to the actual meaning of the spell toockiocking Acathla, maybe she wouldn’t have slid that sword in my chest and pushed me into Acathla.” He held Xander’s eyes for a long deliberate moment.

“And maybe if I had been honest enough, and stopped trying to be human, my sleeping with Buffy never would have happened.” He saw a mutinous look fill the soft brown eyes and knew the boy wanted to argue. He shook the boy lightly. “Xander, I’m not absolving you of anything. You acted like a damn fool! A jealous, fucking idiot! The fact that I am a demon doesn’t matter. You cowardly chose to hide behind two people to do your dirty work which was to get rid of me…Buffy and Willow.”

Xander shuddered at the simmering amber highlights speckling Angel’s eyes. But he still met the vampire’s hard gaze even though he was scared half to death. He was determined to take everything that he had coming to him.

Angel nodded approvingly at the way the boy faced him. “I had a choice to make once I put things into perspective. I could either hate you and Buffy, or I could move past this and get on with my unlife. Thatrimarimarily the reason why I decided to leave. And no, it wasn’t because of you,” he said in response to Xander’s questioning eyes. “I kept watch over Sunnydale months before Buffy came here. Now I can leave, knowing that the Hellmouth has a more than capable bunch of guardians watching over it.” He smiled at the boy, watching understanding dawn in Xander’s dark eyes.

“Between you, Buffy and Willow with Giles directing you, the bad guys won’t know what hit them.”

“You trust me…? Still?” Xander breathed out with a wide goggle gaze.

“Yes…you haven’t seen what I’ve seen. You’ve grown so much since you came down here, hating everything in sight. At best, I hoped for at least tolerance from you for some the more passive demons that inhabit Sunnydale. What I didn’t expect was for you to change so much that you would risk your life to sa dem demon.”

Xander frowned and protested. “She’s just a baby…I mean, I wasn’t that bad was I?” At Angel’s slow nod, his heart sank. “Geezsh, it’s a wonder you didn’t kill me,” he muttered.

“Believe me, I seriously thought about it,” Angel replied quietly. Xander’s head jerked up at the seriousness of the vampire’s tone. He blinked and looked down. Hell, he even felt like beating the shit out of his former self.

They sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. “Where are you going…? Will you ever come back? To…to…see Buffy and Willow, of course,” Xander asked, tacking on his last question hastily. He kept his face down, feeling an annoying blush climb his cheeks.

“I don’t know…” Angel answered honestly and hugged the embarrassed boy closer to him. “But if I do, more than likely I’ll see Buffy. And Willow. Who knows, maybe if you’re hanging around I’ll even see you,” he teased softly. The only response he got was the shaggy dark head nodding against his chest.

Long moments later, Angel nudged the boy. “Let’s go home and get in bed,” he said huskily. His words conjuring immediate visions of Xander sprawled totally naked on their bed. Long, sleek limbs spread, revealing everything to his greedy, covetous eyes. A welcoming smile of alluring temptation graced the boy’s face. Dark eyes gazed hungrily, bewitchingly at him. Inviting him to partake of a sweet, endlessly seductive body. Rolling to his knees, a hot, pleading look in his eyes, the boy stretched out a hand…

Roughly Angel shook his head, denying the fantasy. Banishing the erotic image, he got to his feet, deftly hauling a pensive, reflective Xander to his.

They headed back to their quarters. A solemn, quiet silence between them as they prepared for bed.


* * *

Xander squirmed impatiently as his costume was adjusted by a member of his dance group. If the bits of cloth and leather could be called a costume, he thought darkly.


When he first saw it, he had flushed a vibrant red. All his ‘business’ would be visible! He might as well dance nekkid, he had yelped at Jail. He shut his mouth hastily at the thoughtful, interested look that the older demon had exchanged with B’Lak, the other dance instructor. And firmly he insisted on wearing at least some kind of underwear.

They gave him a thong.

Leaning from side to side and wiggling with impatience as Jilly adjusted the cunningly tattered wrap that encircled his hips. His restless movements netted him a hard smack on his bare thigh from the girl.

Giving him an annoyeok fok from huge silvery-green eyes, the young Erosno finished making him presentable. Standing back, she smiled at the anxious look that warred with the excitement in Xander’s eyes. “Xan-de, you do not have to dance tonight. Our ways are not your ways,” she cautioned him gently.

“I know, but this is a chance to let Angel know that I …” he frowned as he searched for the word Jail had used, “…esteem him a lot.”

“He’s been good to me when I’ve been all sorts of nasty to him. Putting himself out for me when he didn’t have to, and just plain making me grow up. This is my chance to show him how I feel. That I know he’s a good person. Demon, human…he’s a good man. I like him,” Xander said quietly looking down at the slender female.

His eyes softened as he regarded her. Man, six-and-half weeks ago, who ever would have thought Xander Harris, demon-hater, would willingly associate with demons? Sure as hell it wouldn’t have been me, he thought wryly.

But coming here, surrounded by a bunch of cheerful, sleek silvery-green demons you couldn’t help but to like them. They were always smiling and laughing. Playing games and having fun! And he was warmly welcomed in their midst.

Though that first day was hard. None of them seemed able to keep their hands to themselves! Touching his hair, stroking his arms…always touching. It was enough to jumpstart his pre-wig wiggins and strain his breathing. But that tall Erosno, Jaile, he must had seen him quietly panicking. He shooed the rest of the demons away and took him into a corner. He calmed, but was embarrassed and angry with himself for nearly freaking out so bad that he almost had a non-breathing attack.

They understood, judging by their sheepish smiles, that it was too much, too soon. And Jaile soon had him settled on the floor, practicing his breathing. Apparently Erosnos had dozens of names for breathing.

Though after the first ten he zoned out. All he had been interested in was getting to the point where the least thing didn’t succeed in setting him off. They were masters of breathing he decided after managing to hold off an attack of non-bhinghing all by himself. After that he was a convert to the religion of breathing.

In…out….in…out. Look ma, see how easy it is?

The Erosno quarters were large, and extremely tactile. Everything in the huge room led a person irresistibly to want to touch, to stroke…to caress the various objects that adorned the rooms. Xander was no exception. Before the day was out, he was running his fingers over the smooth masks, urns, large and small statues. Though he had to admit he stroked the statutes simply for the naughty feelings they invoked.

Then growing curious about the muffled groaning in the next room he wandered over to see various Erosnos contorting themselves in fantastical puzzles. He winced at a particularly painful pose. He was mildly surprised to find that Jaile expected him to participate. Not the more painful and difficult ones, just the exercises that would help focus his mind, and increase his capacity to breath.

With gentle, laughing encouragement he was soon able to balance himself on his back. With his legs curled over his torso, toes touching the floor just beyond his head…he still managed to breath easy. There were several relatively easy exercises that Jaile thought appropriate for him to try.

Then he became intrigued by the dancing. It looked like fun. But he had hung back, unsure of his welcome. However, he hadn’t reckoned on Jilly yanking him into the middle of the dancing group. Laughing, all six of the young Erosnos taught him the steps. They all fell to laughter whenever he fumbled a move or a turn. His days with the Erosnos were filled with joy and laughter. The only seriousness that he encountered was when he learned that Jilly and her dance mates were going to be performing their dance in front of the entire community on Jamboree Night. It was an annual event, much like a fair.

When he questioned Jaile about it, the stately older demon replied that dancing the Connubialis Suscitatio was the first and only time a young Eroserfoerformed it. It was a once in a lifetime event, never to be repeated by the pre-adult demons. It signified growth, maturity. That a male or female Erosno was an adult and no longer a child. It was a dance that the young performed for someone that they esteemed. That they cared about. It was to their friend that they danced.

Struck by the thought, Xander had tentatively asked if he could perform with Jilly and the others. At the look of hesitation on Jaile’s face, he added that he wanted to show Angel that he wasn’t a kid any more. He was an adult, and ready to act like one as well.

After that, just about every Erosno helped him. Though bewildered by their enthusiasm, he shrugged it off as just being Erosno.


Now, it was almost time to dance. Making a flimsy excuse, he had left Angel talking to a couple of the men in the Common Square while he and his dance mates changed.

“Now Xan-de, you are sure you wish to dance tonight?” Jaile asked softly, his eyes rested fondly on the nervous human. “Our ways are not your ways, it is not necessary for you to dance in order to prove your adulthood to Angel.” The sleek, silvery-green skinned demon paused. “I’m sure he’s well aware of that fact,” he said under his breath. There was a suspicious twinkle in his eyes. Angel’s interest in the boy was something thas ses sending the Erosnos camp into fits of laughter. The vampire was just shy of pawing the ground and roaring whenever another looked at Xander admiringly. He wondered what Angel would say when the boy performed for him. There were bets being taken that the vampire would toss the boy over his shoulder and rush to their quarters for a long intensive Claiming. Or whether Angel would take Xander to the nearest semi-dark corner and Claim him right then and there.

Jaile’s shoulders shook with barely suppressed laughter. Oh, tonight was going to be fun!

Xander eyed the demon suspiciously for a few minutes then shook his head. Erosnos were just plain weird.

B’lak approached the pair cheerfully. She had a small bag of stuff especially purchased for the human. Exchanging twin mirthful expressions with Jaile she pushed the boy to a chair.

“Sit still, gotta put your makeup on,” she explained busily.

“MAKEUP?! I’m not a girl…what do I need makeup for?!” Xander immediately protested. His voice growing loud.

B’lak gave him a level look; for once her eyes empty of laughter. “No makeup, no dance,” she said firmly. At the unhappy expression that darkened the human’s face, she relented. “Xan-de, I’m not putting a lot of makeup on you; it would spoil the fresh look of innocence on your face.”

Xander blinked. Feeling his cheeks warm, he quickly decried her notion that he was innocent. “Hey, I’m no virgin or anything like that! I had plenty of sex,” he hastily assured the now amused female.

“I’m sure you did, “ she replied soothingly. “Now close your eyes,” B’lak commanded. Muttering to himself about NOT a virgin, dammit! Xander complied with her order. Seconds later he felt a cool stroke across first one lid, then the other. His lashes were gently tugged and brushed upwards. At the soft command to open his eyes, he blinked nervously at the seriously intent look on Jaile’s face. Then his lower lid was tugged down and a black pencil was aimed at his eye. Drawing back fearfully, he only allowed B’lak to draw a line along his lower lid when she quietly assured him that it wouldn’t hurt.

In for a penny, in for a pound, he said to himself, though he had no idea what that meant. He allowed her to do whatever she wanted.

B’lak drew back and drew in a soft breath. Her lip kicked up involuntarily at the luminous brown eyes peering at her. Lettint het her breath, she decided that Angel wouldn’t know what hit him tonight. Xander would be lucky if he was able to sit down tomorrow.

“What? What?” Xander asked anxiously. Growing nervous at B’lak and Jaile’s continuing silence.

“Were I a young male, I would be honored to have you dance for me,” Jaile replied solemnly.

Xander blushed at the compliment, modestly lowering his eyes. But he peeked up at the tall demon, a look of delight shimmering in his dark eyes.

B’lak bowed from her sitting position. While humans were generally not to her taste, right now she could see where the attraction lay.

Angel didn’t stand a chance.