Xander's Diary
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
4,616
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
4,616
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Entry 4
Entry 4
Tonight.
Patrol.
Paired with Spike as always.
Smoke. Leather. Copper.
Spike.
Far too near to me.
I am thankful
That my want of him
Is not the burning need
To fuck him.
Think, he dismisses the
always present arousal,
The bulge my semi hard cock
makes in my jeans.
Explaining it with my youth
or just thinking,
I am a horny bastard.
Well, until tonight.
Stepping into the Magicbox,
a six pack of beer under my arm,
calling Spike names,
okay, more nicknames,
basking in his present.
A crying Anya,
wobbly chin stubborn set,
screamed out her frustration
to the girls, including Dawn
and the glasses scrubbing watcher,
screamed that
“Xander refuses for weeks now
to give me orgasms with
his cock or his mouth!”
The urge to just grab her
and snap her neck
- a satisfying sound –
was nearly overwhelming.
Idenldenly felt for my father.
Sometimes you just lose patience.
My face is reddened more by
anger than embarrassment.
I now wonder,
if I would have simply snapped
her neck when she still was a
vengeance demon?
Demon. Not human.
Something I kill
without second thought
every night.
Something easily to get rid off.
Dust and gone.
Like Spike.
No, not like Spike.
He has more personality
than most of the humans.
More insight. More perception.
More beauty.
I am not angry
Any Anya complained.
She just shouldn’t do it in public.
Not in front of other men,
not in front of customers.
I turned my head to look at Spike,
to get my daily dose of humiliation
from the person it hurts the most
to receive it from.
Cutting through bones with his accent,
sdingding my heart with his sharp words.
I was prepared for a smirk,
even for barely contained laughter
or for a disgusted expression,
But never ever for the concerned look
in his dark blue eyes.
The anger for Anya forgotten,
totally confused
I just turned around
and flew out of the store.
On my way “home”
I had the creepy feeling
that someone was following me,
but I have seen no one.
So now I am lying on the couch,
the six pack already misses four bottles,
and the two left will follow soon.
I am determined to sleep on the couch,
there is nothing Anya could do
to make me sleep in the bedroom.
And all I feel is relief.
Relief that I don’t need to pretend
to be too tired to get it up,
that I am okay with bringing her off
without getting off myself,
that I am okay with her.
X
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