A loving heart is beg beginning of all knowledge

CHAPTER 8
Giles moved restlessly in bed. He punched his pillow, adjusted his covers, and did everything he could to make it more comfortable. He needed to fall asleep. But the feel of Buffy in his arms and the taste of her lips kept replaying in his mind. Finally in frustration he threw the pillow across the room and plopped back down on the bed.

Buffy was going through very similar frustration, although she managed without manhandling her pillow. With a disgusted sigh she got up and started pacing her room. After 15 minutes she gave up and put some clothes on. Once again she left a note for her mom saying she was at Giles’ and that she would meet her for breakfast at the museum the following morning. Remembering Giles’ warning, she called a cab instead of walking.

In no time she found herself standing in the doorway of his bedroom watching Giles’ sprawled and slng bng body. She let insecurities get the best of her and was just about to descend the stairs when she heard his voice drift out into the hallway.

“Going somewhere?”

She almost tripped as she turned around, and Giles chuckled when he saw her startled expression.

“I was just, ah, I mean. . . ” She stuttered as a blush covered her face. He laughed again and pulled the covers back.

“Buffy, get in here.” She smiled and removed her shoes and sweater, leaving only her tank top and shorts as she approached the bed and crawled into his waiting arms.

Just as he was about to kiss her he suddenly lifted his head and looked at her sternly. “What did I just say this morning about you venturing outside after dark? Don’t misunderstand, I am extremely happy to have you here in my arms, but Buffy, you must understand how dangerous it is outside after dark!”

Buffy smiled up at him while she let him vent and then gave him a quick kiss before responding, “I took a cab. And before you say anything I made the cab driver wait until I was safely inside.”

“Oh.” Was all he said.

As her smug smile appeared, he decided to wipe it off her face, and leave this discussion for a less pressing moment. He quickly took possession of her mouth, and covered her body with his. He kissed her senseless and quickly divested her of her clothes. When he was done she rolled him over and placed loving kisses down his torso and helped him out of his boxers. Both barely held still as their naked bodies touched for the first time. Buffy couldn’t help but think how right it felt.

She was unsure whether she’d had other lovers before, but realized as he slid effortlessly inside her that it didn’t matter. She had no previous memories of anyone else. Being here with him with a blank slate made it a first for her.

He seemed reluctant to let go of her mouth as he pushed them both together towards the edge, where he kept them both for some time until he let them go. Suddenly they were tumbling over and into an abyss of pleasure.

Long after their breathing had slowed, Giles held her tight to his chest with his head buried in her neck, occasionally letting his hands trace her curves, making her shiver.

She had hoped he would tell her that he loved her. She had to swallow her disappointment when she realised he wasn’t going to say it. She wanted to say the words almost as much as she wanted to hear them, but now she worried he didn’t feel the same way, so she held back.

Giles was dealing with his own demons as he held her tightly. He buried his face in her neck to prevent the words he’d wanted to say for so long from bursting forth. He tried to savour this moment as much as possible. He was afraid this wonderful dream might end. Telling her how much he loved her were words he could never take back. He wanted her to have her memories before he tried to place a burden of love er. er. Instead he rolled her onto her back and tried to convey without words how precious she was to him. Most of the night he made love to her over and over again, until they fell into an exhausted sleep just before dawn.

When Giles’s alarm woke them a few hours later, they regretfully got up. Giles explained that he had to be at the Magic Box to receive a delivery. Buffy had to meet her mom for breakfast, so it worked out. They agreed that Buffy would swing by his shop after breakfast.

Unable to resist, they showered together, and inevitably ended up in bed and a little late for their respective appointments. Once again, Buffy was disappointed when Giles didn’t say the words she longed to hear.

CHAPTER 9

Despite his fatigue, Giles couldn’t help but happily grin all morning as he completed various tasks around the shop. His muscles ached and screamed in protest when he strained them, but knowing what had caused it made him take it with a glorious smile. Sure there were times when Buffy’s training sessions had left him in similar condition, but then he usually grumbled around for hours.

Even Anya commented on his behaviour and mumbled something about how ludicrously happy he was after just getting a couple of smooches. Giles only laughed and told her to never underestimate the power of a kiss. There was no way he would tell her about what had happened between him and Buffy at his apartment. He shuddered as he contemplated the ramifications of such a confession. The fact that Anya somehow knew he had kissed Buffy last night did not even cross his usually sharp mind.

When it was close to noon, and Buffy had still not arrived his spirit started to sink. When Willow, Xander and Tara arrived half an hour later to have lunch with them, they found a subdued Giles looking longingly at the door. They all stifled smiles and sat down at the table to devour their lunches. Giles remained behind the counter trying to distract himself with a book. He didn’t notice the Scobbisecrsecretive looks. They couldn’t wait to see Buffy and Giles interact with each other after last night’s steamy kiss.

Soon enough their impatient waiting was ended. Buffy came through the door heading straight for Giles. But this was not the same happy, on cloud nine Buffy that they had seen last night. No one moved a muscle when she came to a halt in front of the counter.

Giles had almost jumped over the counter to hug her when he finally saw her come in, but he quickly re-evaluated when he saw her expression.

“Buffy, what’s wrong?” he asked with fear clenching his stomach.

With a barely controlled voice that shook in anger when she spoke she asked the one question that made ice run down his back.

“How could you?”

“What?”

“How could you?” she repeated now, with more hurt in her voice. “You took advantage of me.”
He suddenly realised his worst nightmare had come true. His hands started to shake as he looked at her.

“When?”

“Breakfast. With my mom. It all came back in a rush. How could you, Giles? I trusted you!”

The gang at the table hadn’t moved an inch and stared transfixed, confused and shocked.

A lone tear escaped from her eyes and he automaticallisedised his hand to remove it, but she quickly flinched away from him.

“I will not forgive you for this” she said angrily and then walked out without a word to the others. Their eyes followed Buffy out the door and quickly returned to Giles. He was staring with so much hurt in his eyes at the door that it almost made Willow cry. Without a word, he walked into the training room and slammed the door.

Several minutes passed until Xander broke the silence that had followed. “What the hell just happened?”

That seemed to snap Anya out of her stupor and she immediately took charge. “Xander come with me to the training room. We have to try to get Giles to talk. Willow, Tara, you two find Buffy and do the same. Something big must have happened.”

CHAPTER 10

When Xander and Anya opened the training room door they saw Giles seated on the couch with his head in his hands. They slowly approached him, unsure of what they were going to say. He looked so defeated. Xander glanced nervously at Anya, and was just about to speak when Giles broke the silence.

“Please leave.” Anya took a breath to respond, but Xander stopped her with a hand on her arm. Xander moved them both out of the room. When the door to the training room closed, Anya shook his hand away.

“Xander! Aren’t we supposed to help when our friends are in pain?”

“Trust me on this one Anya. Giles was in no condition to talk to us right now.” As he ran a hand through his hair he looked at Anya with despair.

“Jesus Christ Anya, what are we going to do? I’ve never seen Giles like that. I mean, Buffy and Giles have always been, you know, Buffy and Giles, and, and now they’re not. What the hell happened?”

Anya only shook her head as if she was apologizing for not having the answers and drew him into a hug.

In the meantime Tara and Willow were searching all possible places Buffy could have gone. Eventually tfounfound her sitting on a bench in a cemetery. The sight of the Slayer’s shoulders shaking from the strength of her sobs made them run to her. Both women put their arms around her and tried to sooth her pain. When her sobs didn’t seem to ease, Willow looked at Tara, willing her girlfriend to come up with a solution to help Buffy. Tara nodded and pulled some hair out of Buffy’s face and asked softly.

“Buffy? What happened? You can talk to us.” Buffy only shook her head as another sob threatened to tear her heart apart.

“Come on Buffy”, Willow said soothingly. “Talk to us. You’ll feel better, and it might be good to get another perspective on things. Did Giles say or do something to you? I thought everything was great between you last night. You looked so happy when you came back into the house.” That only made Buffy cry harder, and Willow hugged her closer, at a loss to what she should do.

“Everything was great”, Buffy suddenly said between sobs. “And then, then he had turn into to a, a guy.” The last word came out as if she was disgusted by every male on the planet. Before Willow and Tara could ask what she had meant, she continued in a slightly more calm voice. “I mean, of course he already was a guy, and, and last night he made damn sure I knew, but”, the next words came out as her sobbing started again, “then he had to turn into one of those guys. I can’t believe he would be such a guy.”

Willow and Tara felt none the wiser, but as they listened to Buffy’s painful sobs they just continued to hold her, thinking they had never seen Buffy break down like this. What puzzled Willow the most was how Gihad had reacted in the Magic Box. He had looked as if his world had ended when Buffy had left the shop. Buffy pushed both Willow and Tara away gently. She tried to wipe away the tears streaming down her face, but they just kept coming.

She got up and said, “I’m sorry guys, I need some time alone.”

Before the other girls were able to respond she turned and walked away.

TBC