I'm Sorry William
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
11
Views:
8,156
Reviews:
82
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
11
Views:
8,156
Reviews:
82
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
I'm Sorry William_4
Thank you so much to Willowmouse, Mari, Celestria, Txjmfan, Draconiansrock, Jen, Gweni, Kar, October, Meli, Andrea, Shina, IloveKyle, Camran and Rachel. for the reviews. They are truly what keeps me writing.
I’m Sorry William_4
“And Bit? Don’t tell the Slayer it was me who brought her in ok?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She awoke to something cool being pressed against her forehead. She opened her eyes and saw Dawn. She was wiping Buffy’s head with a cool cloth. “What happened?”
“You passed out…” Dawn spoke softly.
“Outside? Oh god…” Buffy closed her eyes remembering his hurtful words. ~ Why does it hurt so much? I thought I didn’t care, but if it hurts I must. Right? ~
“Earth to Buffy? What were you doing out there?” Dawn had called her name twice.
“I was…Spike was walking me home.”
Dawn stayed with Buffy for a little while, talking and noticed how upset she seemed. She waited until Buffy started to doze before she left the room, headed straight for the phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell her your date was with me!” Dawn twisted the phone cord around her finger.
“She was jealous Bit. I couldn’t tell her. I wanted her to be jealous. Why do you think I had Willy tell her I was on a date? And I had to give him my number so he could call me yeah?”
“She’s still upset. She said you had some Bimbo at you’re crypt.”
“She called it my crypt?”
“Yeah. She knows it’s in a basement somewhere but that’s it.”
“So you’re not going to tell on me?”
“God no. It’s about bloody time she showed some feelings towards you.”
“Language bit. I don’t want the Slayer to think I’m a bad influence on you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy tried not to stare. She tried not to even look in that direction, but eye eyes kept wandering back in towards the pool tables where Spike and Dawn were playing and talking. Sighing she glanced towards the dance floor where her friends were slow dancing with their girlfriends.
She listened to the new song starting and it brought tears to her eyes.
How can I just let you walk away,
just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ohoo
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain,
and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
She felt the tears sliding down her cheeks; she felt the pain of having him walk away all over again. He was the only one who really knew her. He knew her better than she knew herself.
So take a look at me now,
'cos there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'cos there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
and that's what I've got to face
Buffy’s face crumpled. OH MY GOD! I know why it hurts so much. I’m in love with him. Buffy let her tears fall silently, mourning the way she had treated him. She sat and tried to compose herself and the song played on.
I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
'cos there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'cos there's just an empty space
But to wait for you, is all I can do
and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now,
'cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
Its the chance I've got to take, oh, oho
Just take a look at me now
She realized he was going to keep treating her this way. Not specifically to hurt her, but so he didn’t hurt anymore. If she got hurt in the process…
“What’s wrong?” Willow noticed instantly that she was upset. The rest of the gang followed behind Willow and were looking at her questioningly.
Buffy closed her eyes and sighed. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet. I need time…”
“Ok Buffster. Anything you need. You know we’re here for you.” Xander hugged her tightly.
“I know. Thanks guys. I need to go patrol…Will can you make sure Dawn gets home safe?”
Willow nodded and hugged Buffy quickly. “If you need to talk…or anything…”
Buffy tightened her grip on willow. “Thanks. I know. It means a lot.”
Tears were starting to form again so she made her way out of the club.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike watched her leave. ~ I can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch her cry and pretend it doesn’t hurt me. ~ He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was in the first cemetery of the night when she spotted a fledgling digging his way free. She stood and watched until he was completely out of his grave, tapping her boot impatiently.
He got himself free and snarled, turning towards her. Buffy crouched a little getting ready for a fight.
His foot caught on something and he tripped,dingding on a branch that was sticking up from the ground dusting itself. “Oh come on! At least give me a little bit of a challenge!” She said. The frustration was obvious. ~ I didn’t even get to hit him once! ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike followed her sent. He stayed far enough away so she didn’t know he was there. All he could think of was Buffy. How she felt in his arms, how she fit perfectly against him. She was light and he was dark, she was soft and he was hard. She was everything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy felt them all around her. There were four big vamps circling her. ~ It’s about time. ~ She grinned at the vampire in front of her.
“What are you smiling at little girl? You’re gonna be our dinner.”
“Really? Cause I’m thinking not so much. I’m the slayer.” She said proudly.
“Yeah…sure you are…” The one to her left laughed. Laughed. At her.
Buffy didn’t even glance in his direction. She threw her stake. The three remaining vampires stared open mouthed at the slayer.
The stake hit him with perfect accuracy. He dusted instantly. A fierce wind picked up the particles whipping them into Buffy’s face.
It felt like someone threw a handful of sand at her. She pressed her hands gently to her eyes and tried to open them. She couldn’t.
She grunted when she felt the blow to her stomach. Doubling over in pain she was gasping for air.
She felt something slam into her back and she was pinned to the ground. Buffy bucked wildly, throwing the vampire off of her. She hopped up on to her feet and crouched, sending her senses out, getting a feel for where they were.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike sensed there were other vampire’s in the area, he moved closer to watch her fight. He loved to watch her fight.
Spike smiled when she announced she was the slayer. He was frozen in place as he watched the dust fly into her eyes and the vampire’s attack. He moved closer still, watching waiting. He saw her groping around for something. ~ Her bloody stake? The bint went out with only one and no bloody backup? ~ Spike was furious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The three vampires were so intent on the weakened slayer they didn’t notice Spike getting into position.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy felt HIS presence. She felt his confidence in her. She felt his love for her. Buffy was ready, as always in a fighting situation it was almost like they communicated silently.
“Oi”
Buffy reached out and grabbed the stake hurling through the air at her. She quickly dusted the vampires were ere watching her stunned.
As the dust touched the ground Spike had his arms around her and held her tightly.
“Spike…I can’t see…my eyes…”
“It’s ok Buffy. I’ve got you luv. Gonna take you home and fix you up all right and proper.” He kissed the top of her head softly. Holding her like this, her letting him, made Spike’s anger of moments before vanish.
“It hurts…”
“Shhhh I’ll carry you.” Before she could even think of protesting he was holding her close, up against his chest and heading in the direction of her house.
“Could you…take me to you new crypt instead of my place? It feels really good to be in your arms…”
Spike almost dropped her he was so stunned. He nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Uh…yeah…I’ve got a first aide kit…need to flush your eyes…”
Buffy didn’t say another word, She just wrapped her arms around his neck, settling her head gently against his shoulder.
Spike could feel her little puffs of warm breath against his skin. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, wanted to so badly in fact her had to repeatedly bite his tongue so as not to say those three little words. He held her closer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike set her on the toilet. “Ok, just got to get the stuff ready. Then I’ll bring you to the sink and rinse your eyes out ok?”
Buffy nodded. She could feel her eyes overflowing, trying to get rid of the foreign objects in her eyes. Her eyes hurt. They burned and itched. It was so painful that she didn’t even register the fact that Spike carried her UP the stairs and not down.
“Luv? I’m ready for you ok? You’re going to have to lean over the sink and let me flush them ok?”
Buffy nodded and reached for his hand. Spike clasped her hand in his and led her to the counter, he had the water the perfect temperature. He gathered her hair in low low ponytail, securing it with and elastic.
Spike gently helped her bend and held the eyewash in his hand. He cleaned her eyes thoroughly.
“Well?”
Buffy opened her eyes. To her great delight she could see again. She squealed and wrapped her arms around Spike.
“Thank you. Thank you so much…you saved my life and you…wait…why did you follow me tonight?”
Spike took a deep breath “Couldn’t stand the thought of you hurting anymore.”
“Spike…I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize until last night that I do have feelings for you. Strong ones.”
“What changed your mind?”
“The thought of you never coming back to me. The thought of you being gone. The thought of you with another woman.” Buffy turned to look at him. “Were you trying to get over me? Is that why you went on a date?”
“The so called ‘date’ I was on? It was with the bit.”
“Dawn?”
“Yeah Dawn. You honestly think there could ever be anyone else for me? God help me Buffy…It’s still all about you. Always has been. I love you. I swear I’ll be by your side until I’m dust. I know you don’t need my protection, cause you are the slayer, but you’re also a woman. I want to be there for the woman too. I want to hold you when you cry, I want to hold you while you sleep, I want to take care of you. I want to be yours.”
“I didn’t want to admit it Spike, but I wanted those things too. I thought they would think that I was wor nor needy, or just be really pissed cause I wanted to be with a vampire.”
“And now?”
“You are more than that. The monster doesn’t control the man. It’s the man that controls the monster.”
“I know the slayer in you is strong and independent. T’s one of the things I love about you. Your strength, and resilience. But sometimes the woman in you needs taking care of and that doesn’t make you weak or needy. It just makes you human. I want to be there for all of it Buffy, all of you. I can’t stand the fact that I made you cry by pretending to be insensitive, and I want to spend the rest of my un-life making it up to you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC…? Let me know. I hope someone is still reading this.
I’m Sorry William_4
“And Bit? Don’t tell the Slayer it was me who brought her in ok?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She awoke to something cool being pressed against her forehead. She opened her eyes and saw Dawn. She was wiping Buffy’s head with a cool cloth. “What happened?”
“You passed out…” Dawn spoke softly.
“Outside? Oh god…” Buffy closed her eyes remembering his hurtful words. ~ Why does it hurt so much? I thought I didn’t care, but if it hurts I must. Right? ~
“Earth to Buffy? What were you doing out there?” Dawn had called her name twice.
“I was…Spike was walking me home.”
Dawn stayed with Buffy for a little while, talking and noticed how upset she seemed. She waited until Buffy started to doze before she left the room, headed straight for the phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell her your date was with me!” Dawn twisted the phone cord around her finger.
“She was jealous Bit. I couldn’t tell her. I wanted her to be jealous. Why do you think I had Willy tell her I was on a date? And I had to give him my number so he could call me yeah?”
“She’s still upset. She said you had some Bimbo at you’re crypt.”
“She called it my crypt?”
“Yeah. She knows it’s in a basement somewhere but that’s it.”
“So you’re not going to tell on me?”
“God no. It’s about bloody time she showed some feelings towards you.”
“Language bit. I don’t want the Slayer to think I’m a bad influence on you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy tried not to stare. She tried not to even look in that direction, but eye eyes kept wandering back in towards the pool tables where Spike and Dawn were playing and talking. Sighing she glanced towards the dance floor where her friends were slow dancing with their girlfriends.
She listened to the new song starting and it brought tears to her eyes.
How can I just let you walk away,
just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ohoo
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain,
and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
She felt the tears sliding down her cheeks; she felt the pain of having him walk away all over again. He was the only one who really knew her. He knew her better than she knew herself.
So take a look at me now,
'cos there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'cos there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
and that's what I've got to face
Buffy’s face crumpled. OH MY GOD! I know why it hurts so much. I’m in love with him. Buffy let her tears fall silently, mourning the way she had treated him. She sat and tried to compose herself and the song played on.
I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
'cos there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'cos there's just an empty space
But to wait for you, is all I can do
and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now,
'cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
Its the chance I've got to take, oh, oho
Just take a look at me now
She realized he was going to keep treating her this way. Not specifically to hurt her, but so he didn’t hurt anymore. If she got hurt in the process…
“What’s wrong?” Willow noticed instantly that she was upset. The rest of the gang followed behind Willow and were looking at her questioningly.
Buffy closed her eyes and sighed. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet. I need time…”
“Ok Buffster. Anything you need. You know we’re here for you.” Xander hugged her tightly.
“I know. Thanks guys. I need to go patrol…Will can you make sure Dawn gets home safe?”
Willow nodded and hugged Buffy quickly. “If you need to talk…or anything…”
Buffy tightened her grip on willow. “Thanks. I know. It means a lot.”
Tears were starting to form again so she made her way out of the club.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike watched her leave. ~ I can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch her cry and pretend it doesn’t hurt me. ~ He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was in the first cemetery of the night when she spotted a fledgling digging his way free. She stood and watched until he was completely out of his grave, tapping her boot impatiently.
He got himself free and snarled, turning towards her. Buffy crouched a little getting ready for a fight.
His foot caught on something and he tripped,dingding on a branch that was sticking up from the ground dusting itself. “Oh come on! At least give me a little bit of a challenge!” She said. The frustration was obvious. ~ I didn’t even get to hit him once! ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike followed her sent. He stayed far enough away so she didn’t know he was there. All he could think of was Buffy. How she felt in his arms, how she fit perfectly against him. She was light and he was dark, she was soft and he was hard. She was everything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy felt them all around her. There were four big vamps circling her. ~ It’s about time. ~ She grinned at the vampire in front of her.
“What are you smiling at little girl? You’re gonna be our dinner.”
“Really? Cause I’m thinking not so much. I’m the slayer.” She said proudly.
“Yeah…sure you are…” The one to her left laughed. Laughed. At her.
Buffy didn’t even glance in his direction. She threw her stake. The three remaining vampires stared open mouthed at the slayer.
The stake hit him with perfect accuracy. He dusted instantly. A fierce wind picked up the particles whipping them into Buffy’s face.
It felt like someone threw a handful of sand at her. She pressed her hands gently to her eyes and tried to open them. She couldn’t.
She grunted when she felt the blow to her stomach. Doubling over in pain she was gasping for air.
She felt something slam into her back and she was pinned to the ground. Buffy bucked wildly, throwing the vampire off of her. She hopped up on to her feet and crouched, sending her senses out, getting a feel for where they were.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike sensed there were other vampire’s in the area, he moved closer to watch her fight. He loved to watch her fight.
Spike smiled when she announced she was the slayer. He was frozen in place as he watched the dust fly into her eyes and the vampire’s attack. He moved closer still, watching waiting. He saw her groping around for something. ~ Her bloody stake? The bint went out with only one and no bloody backup? ~ Spike was furious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The three vampires were so intent on the weakened slayer they didn’t notice Spike getting into position.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy felt HIS presence. She felt his confidence in her. She felt his love for her. Buffy was ready, as always in a fighting situation it was almost like they communicated silently.
“Oi”
Buffy reached out and grabbed the stake hurling through the air at her. She quickly dusted the vampires were ere watching her stunned.
As the dust touched the ground Spike had his arms around her and held her tightly.
“Spike…I can’t see…my eyes…”
“It’s ok Buffy. I’ve got you luv. Gonna take you home and fix you up all right and proper.” He kissed the top of her head softly. Holding her like this, her letting him, made Spike’s anger of moments before vanish.
“It hurts…”
“Shhhh I’ll carry you.” Before she could even think of protesting he was holding her close, up against his chest and heading in the direction of her house.
“Could you…take me to you new crypt instead of my place? It feels really good to be in your arms…”
Spike almost dropped her he was so stunned. He nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Uh…yeah…I’ve got a first aide kit…need to flush your eyes…”
Buffy didn’t say another word, She just wrapped her arms around his neck, settling her head gently against his shoulder.
Spike could feel her little puffs of warm breath against his skin. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, wanted to so badly in fact her had to repeatedly bite his tongue so as not to say those three little words. He held her closer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike set her on the toilet. “Ok, just got to get the stuff ready. Then I’ll bring you to the sink and rinse your eyes out ok?”
Buffy nodded. She could feel her eyes overflowing, trying to get rid of the foreign objects in her eyes. Her eyes hurt. They burned and itched. It was so painful that she didn’t even register the fact that Spike carried her UP the stairs and not down.
“Luv? I’m ready for you ok? You’re going to have to lean over the sink and let me flush them ok?”
Buffy nodded and reached for his hand. Spike clasped her hand in his and led her to the counter, he had the water the perfect temperature. He gathered her hair in low low ponytail, securing it with and elastic.
Spike gently helped her bend and held the eyewash in his hand. He cleaned her eyes thoroughly.
“Well?”
Buffy opened her eyes. To her great delight she could see again. She squealed and wrapped her arms around Spike.
“Thank you. Thank you so much…you saved my life and you…wait…why did you follow me tonight?”
Spike took a deep breath “Couldn’t stand the thought of you hurting anymore.”
“Spike…I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize until last night that I do have feelings for you. Strong ones.”
“What changed your mind?”
“The thought of you never coming back to me. The thought of you being gone. The thought of you with another woman.” Buffy turned to look at him. “Were you trying to get over me? Is that why you went on a date?”
“The so called ‘date’ I was on? It was with the bit.”
“Dawn?”
“Yeah Dawn. You honestly think there could ever be anyone else for me? God help me Buffy…It’s still all about you. Always has been. I love you. I swear I’ll be by your side until I’m dust. I know you don’t need my protection, cause you are the slayer, but you’re also a woman. I want to be there for the woman too. I want to hold you when you cry, I want to hold you while you sleep, I want to take care of you. I want to be yours.”
“I didn’t want to admit it Spike, but I wanted those things too. I thought they would think that I was wor nor needy, or just be really pissed cause I wanted to be with a vampire.”
“And now?”
“You are more than that. The monster doesn’t control the man. It’s the man that controls the monster.”
“I know the slayer in you is strong and independent. T’s one of the things I love about you. Your strength, and resilience. But sometimes the woman in you needs taking care of and that doesn’t make you weak or needy. It just makes you human. I want to be there for all of it Buffy, all of you. I can’t stand the fact that I made you cry by pretending to be insensitive, and I want to spend the rest of my un-life making it up to you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC…? Let me know. I hope someone is still reading this.