Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned

Buffy didn’t know how she managed to make it through the rest of the day. She felt like she was floating through her classes as her thoughts were centered on Father William and what had transpired at lunch. He put my hand on his…his…his…oh my…Buffy blushed from her thoughts all throughout the afternoon. She commented how hot it was in the gym as several students looked at her with questioning looks why she was so flushed. She also used exercises as an excuse. Anything she could think of so they wouldn’t know the truth. The truth that the very center of her. Her heated core. Her womanhood was throbbing in anticipation of seeing William that evening.

After school, Buffy went to her prayer sessions ainneinner with her fellow sisters as per usual. At eight pm she retired to her room for the evening as did the majority of the sisters, save a few stragglers here and there. Buffy lay stiffly on her narrow bed watching the minutes tick by on the clock until it reached nine thirty. With her heart in her throat she, as silent as she could, climbed out her window and dropped to the ground fairly gracefully. Good thing her room was on the first floor and that she was so physically fit and flexible.

She had snuck a small flashlight from the janitor’s closet at the school earlier that day into her pocket. She used the light of the moon as much as she could to follow the paved trail by the present Church and then through the gardens but once she got to the dirt path that led through a wooded area, she brought the flashlight out to help guide her way. She felt nervous and even a little scared. Not just from the forbidden act she was on her way to participate in but it was dark and creepy in the woods. She hurried along the path as quick as she could.

She finally came to a small clearing and saw an outline of a quaint chapel. She stopped outside of the entrance and swallowed the lump forming in her throat. She turned off her flashlight and just stood there, contemplating turning back.
“Little girls shouldn’t be out here alone at night. You never know what kind of devil you may run into” came a husky voice as she was grabbed from behind.
Involuntarily out of sheer basic survival instinct, she elbowed her “attacker” and then turned and kneed him in the groin before flipping him over onto his back.
“Buffyyyy” her perpetrator said with a strangled moan.

Wait a minute. That didn’t sound like a perpetrator. That sounded like her William. Oh no!
“Oh my God! Father William! I’m so sorry. You frightened me! Don’t you know not to sneak up on women in the dark like that?” Buffy knelt down beside him to check the damage she had inflicted on him.
“Who else did you think it would be? Did I not tell you to meet me here now? Who else has a British accent on the estate?” William gritted out between clenched teeth as he cupped his hands over his injured crotch.
“Well, actually Father Wesley does…” Buffy began but then stopped as she turned the flashlight on and shown it in his face to reveal his pained expression.

“Just help me up and inside, pet” he said.
Buffy assisted to hto his feet and helped him walk into the chapel and sit down on one of the pews.
“I’m really sorry.” She repeated.
“Me too. I think I may be too injured to perform…” his eyes met hers and he stopped as she flushed a bright red which in turn made him blush as well as the reality of what they were meeting here for started to sink in.

“I didn’t come here for…I mean…we don’t have to…I mean…oh god” Buffy threw her hands over her face.
“You know exactly what you came here for Buffy. I’ve been fighting with the demons too these past few days. I’ve begged God to help me. To stop tempting me. To forgive me for my wickedness but God, when I saw you with Father Charles, I just snapped. Buffy, I’ve never felt what I feel for you with any woman in my life.” William pulled her hands from her face and held them with his own.
“Father Charles? You can’t possibly think that I? William, how could you? I’m…I’m…you know I’m a virgin…” she blushed even more “and I’ve never had…ummm…intimate thoughts about any man…until you” she managed to get out.
“I had assumed and hoped you were Buffy but I didn’t know for sure. I am too, believe it or not. I went straight into my studies of becoming a priest right out of high school. All through college, the seminary, my initial assignments…” he informed her.
“I did too. I mean, not becoming a priest, but a nun...because you know...I’m a girl and yes, out of high school too you you’re really a virgin too? You’re way older than me” Buffy babbled on.

“Thanks Buffy” William said grimly.
“I mean...not old as in...wearing depends at a nursing home old…like grandpa old…but…oh God” Buffy trailed off.
“You have a way with words, don’t you pet?” William chuckled.
“Besides, even if I wasn’t a virgin, I AM a nun, you know. I don’t just go around…engaging…in…well...you know...fornicating with men, especially priests at that” she lowered her voice to whisper the word fornicating as if it wouldn’t be as dirty if she didn’t say it with a normal voice.
“But you want to fornicate with me, Buffy?” William reached out and trailed a finger down her cheek.
“No” she squeaked out.
“Good…because I don’t want to fornicate with you either Buffy. I want to make love with you” William said as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers softly and gently.

The earlier pain from Buffy’s attack, now forgotten as William pulled Buffy up against him so she basically straddled one of his legs as he sat on the pew. He deepened the kiss and ran his hands down her back. They must’ve made quite a vision. A priest, in full dress sitting with legs splayed on a pew with a nun, in full habit straddling him, kissing ravenously as moonlight peeked through the windows to give off a soft light to the darkened chapel.

“I…I’ve set something up in the back room” William had pulled away to breathe.
“What?” Buffy looked at him with passion glazed eyes.
“Come with me” he said as he pulled her up with him and walked her to the back of the chapel and off into an adjoining room.
“This used to be the sleeping quarter for the priest when this chapel was in operation. It’s very old so back then there was just a small congregation and one priest. Even though we don’t use this anymore, it’s still kept up in fairly good condition. It’s historical so the cleaning crews we employ come out here about once a month to make sure it’s kept up. There’s still a small cot in here and I brought some candles.” William explained to her as he led her into the room.

He had some candles on a small desk that sat against one wall and he lit them with a matchbook he had laying there as well. The soft candle light illuminated the dark room with an intimate glow. Buffy looked everywhere except at the bed, embarrassment and nervousness taking a front seat again.
“Would you like to sit down?” William motioned her towards said bed. Buffy swallowed and nodded then sat stiffly as far to one side as possible.
William sat down in the middle, close to her but not quite touching.
“I won’t bite you, Buffy. Well, not if you don’t want me to” William reached out a hand to stroke her arm. She shivered.
“Are you cold?” he said concerned. “I brought an extra blanket also” he reached to the end of the bed and held it up.
“No…just…nervous” Buffy said honestly.

“Are you afraid of me, Buffy?” William scooted closer to her.
“Nnnoooo….O.K. well maybe a little. You were kinda scary in the courtyard today.” Buffy looked up at him.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I just don’t want anyone other than me touching what’s mine” he said matter of factly.
“Is that what I am? Yours?” Buffy inched closer to him.
“Yes, Buffy. You are” his mouth latched onto hers again and they kissed deeply.

Buffy pulled away first, “I know this is wrong, William. Why does it feel so right then?”
“I’m the last person to answer that, Buffy. I’m a full fledged priest. I took the vows sometime ago. At least you are just temporarily professed. This is the trial period to see if this life is what you want.” Willtoldtold her.
“I still took vows, temporary or not. We are not only breaking those vows, but we are committing a huge sin by…being together, even if we weren’t a nnd and a priest, we’re still not married, William” she looked down in shame.
“In my heart, I’m married to you, Buffy.” William’s eyes shone with unshed tears.
“Oh William” Buffy teared up as well.
“I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to, Buffy” William said.
“I know. That’s not the problem” Buffy replied.
“What’s the problem then?” William asked.
“It’s that you don’t need to force me. I want to…make love with you…I’m so bad…” she laid her head on his shoulder and sniffled.

“Sssshhhh…my sweet Buffy. You’re not bad….God, you’re beautiful” William took her face in his hands.
“But everyone else would think I was bad. We were bad. In the eyes of the Church and God we are bad and sinful” Buffy cried.
“Then, God help me, let me burn in hell for being bad but I’m not leaving here tonight without being inside you, Buffy. Will you let me inside you?” William said huskily.
“Yessssss” Buffy breathed Wil William reached up and removed her wimple from her head and set it to the side. Her long honey brown hair cascaded down across her shoulders. He wrapped some around his fingers and brought it to his nose to inhale the fragrance of her shampoo.
“You smell so good” he told her.
“So do you…like a man…William smell” she hugged him.
William unbuttoned his shirt and removed his collar. He briefly closed his eyes as he laid the collar down, a final act of submitting to his desires over his vows. He whispered softly, “Father, forgive me” and then opened his eyes and stood, taking Buffy’s hands and bringing her to her feet with him.

He bent over and grasped the hem of her dress and pulled it up and over her head, leaving her in her bra, panties, a slip and her shoes. Buffy stared in awe at his alabaster smooth chest which rippled with well defined muscles. She paid particular ationtion to his dusky rose nipples and the little pooch of his stomach below his belly button. She had this overwhelming desire to kiss and lick him there.

With a will of their own her lips descended as she bent over and kissed him softly on that expanse of skin.
“God, Buffy!” he exclaimed as she watched the bulge in his trousers below her face grow to enormous proportions.
She stood back up to full height and gave him a small smile.
“Temptress” he said as he led her back to the bed and laid her down on it. He reached down and removed her shoes and then slid her slip down and off. He leaned over her and reached up to get her bra off and couldn’t figure out how it came undone.
“How do you get this blasted thing off?” he finally said in frustration.
“There’s a clasp in the back” Buffy informed him.
He finally found it and undid it then pulled it from her body. She shyly put her hands up over her breasts to shield herself from his view.
“Don’t Buffy.” He pulled her hands away to stare at her ripe full breasts with nipples that seemed to harden under his gaze alone. “Don’t ever hide yourself from me. You’re beautiful”
William leaned down and took one nipple into his mouth and sucked hard.
“OHHH” Buffy arched her back. Never in her life had she felt such things.
“God, you’re so responsive” he said, lifting his mouth.
“Not like a nun, right?” she replied.
“I don’t know. I’ve never sucked another nun’s nipple. I have no comparison” he said.
“You better not have!” Buffy chucked him in the shoulder with her fist.
“Hey now! You’ve already beaten me up once tonight. None of that” he smiled and then lowered his head again to suck her other nipple.

He began molding and squeezing her breasts as he kissed her all over her neck, chest and stomach. When he got to her panties, he took them in his hands and slowly began to slide them down and off her, revealing a neat little soft brown triangl cur curls to his gaze. He almost ejaculated right then and there. He had never seen a woman’s sex up close and personal before, only in pictures or movies from when he was younger.

He closed his eyes and tried to get his body under control. Buffy noticed him stopping and closing his eyes and feared the worst.
“What’s wrong? Am I not…ummm….I’m ugly down there, aren’t I?” she blushed yet again.
“What? No! Of course not!” his eyes snapped open.
“Then…why did you stop? Why are you closing your eyes?” she asked.
“Because I’m trying to control myself and I almost came all over my pants by looking at you. You’re exquisite, Buffy” he explained to her.
“Oh…umm…what do you mean “came”?” she asked innocently.
“Do you not know anything about what’s to take place here, Buffy?” he searched her eyes.
“Umm…a little. I mean…in school, girls would talk and I’ve seen some movies and stuff but…uhh…sorry” she looked away nervously.
“Don’t be sorry. Hey, look at me. We’ll learn together O.K.?” William dragged her panties down the rest of the way.
“It seems to me that you know what you’re doing.” Buffy replied.
“I’m driving on instinct, I guess” he responded. “But, I do know what an orgasm is. Don’t you?”
“I don’t know if I do or not…” Buffy started.
“I’ll take that as a no then….spread your legs for me, Buffy” he instructed her.

She obeyed him and moved them…a miniscule amount.
“Buffy…wider” he smiled slightly.
She moved a bit more.
“Wider…” he started to stroke the insides of her thighs that he finally had access to now.
“Ohhh” she said as she felt his fingertips near her secret place.
“Wider, Buffy or I’ll move them myself” he said in a more demanding tone.
She swallowed in part desire and part fear. Tired of waiting he grasped her thighs and spread them far apart so he could look at her moist womanhood.
“That’s better” he said. With one finger, he reached up and touched her swollen pink sex very lightly.
She jerked and bucked her hips up. “Ahhh”
“Does that feel good when I touch you there?” he asked quietly.
“Oh yes.” Buffy panted.

If I’m going to hell, I might as well go all the way, William thought as he lowered his head and placed his mouth on her engorged lips.
“OHHHH…William! What…What are you doing?” Buffy looked down in horror.
He looked up at her, removing his mouth from her briefly to say, “Showing you how much I love you” and then he lowered his head once more and began kissing her. He stroked his tongue and lips along her labia until he reached a hard little nub nestled close to the top. When his tongue touched it, Buffy bucked up into his face and grabbed his hair in her hands, holding him to her and moaning loudly. Yep, he found the spot was all he could think.
“Ohh…Ohh…I…Ohhh…what’s happening to me, William? I feel….OHHH….GOD!” Buffy screamed as William felt a rush of liquid pool around his chin. He moved his mouth down and lapped her essence up. Finally when her trembling stopped, he removed his mouth and slid up her body.

Buffy looked at his hair all askew and face glossy and shiny with her fluid. She blushed all over anew. This is becoming a habit, she thought. Oh God. Habit. Nun. I’m a nun. I just had a priest kiss me and lick me on my…my my…oh God, I’m going to hell, Buffy’s mind raced. She looked at him in panic.
“Buffy? What’s wrong? Are you O.K.? It felt good didn’t it?” William questioned her.
“Oh God, YES William! I was just…thinking about…how I’m going to hell” she muttered.
“Well, at least I’ll be there with you” he smiled.
“Why am I the only one naked?” she blurted out, suddenly embarrassed that he still had his pants on and she was fully nude.

“Itching to see my goods, luv?” he grinned as he stood and began unbuttoning his pants at the same time he kicked off his shoes and socks.
“Right. Please! Seen one. Seen them all” Buffy huffed.
William grabbed her by the back of nec neck and kissed her hard before saying, “You better not have seen any others”
“Does a banana count?” she thought about her earlier incident with Willow and Tara and didn’t realize she had said it out loud.
“A what? A banana? What are you talking about?” William said with a quirk of his eyebrow.
“Nothing. Never mind. I’ve never seen one. Well, the statues they have here but they’re really tiny and you didn’t feel so tiny to me…and well books...yes…pictures but they looked funny and…o.k. I’ll shut up now” she stammered.
William smiled at her nervousness. He was nervous too. It was his first time as well but he was also 10 years older and more mature than she. He had a bigger life experience and wisdom than her. Even if he was a priest, he was still a man first. He resumed undoing his pants and pulled them and his boxer shorts down and stepped out of them. Buffy let out an audible gasp as she saw his maleness spring up, long, thick and hard. How will it ever fit?

“It will fit” he said as if he read her mind. “Women and men have been doing this since the dawn of time, luv”
“Yeah but were all those men as big as you are?” Buffy asked bluntly.
His male pride caused him to harden even further at her statement.
“It’s going to hurt, isn’t it?” Buffy asked wide eyed as he moved back onto the bed to lie beside her.
“I believe so…for you at least…the first time” William kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry”
“Why do women have to hurt and not the men? It’s not fair” Buffy pouted, her lower lip jutting out.
“Oh pouty…gonna get it” William sucked on her lower lip. “If I could make it not so, I would Buffy but that’s just how your body is made. Passage to womanhood and all that. I will try to be as gentle as possible” he assured her.
“O.K. then…William…I’m ready…make me a woman”

Continued in Chapter 4-Rites of Passage