VIII

A/N, hey sorry about the long wait. Karen (zeta) and I went to LA this weekend sad saw ghost of the robot. ALthough they werent as good as I had hoped, the band that went on before them Powder, was amazing. That was one of the best one hour sets that I had ever seen. It was well worth the long flight from Tulsa Oklahoma to LA!

Anyway, I hope you like the chapter, and I want to thank Smithers, Zeta, Flames, Nikita, and also I forgot to add in the first chapter, I dedicate all the sex scenes in this story to Prank. He really ummm inspired me for this, and helped me out when I needed a male POV.

I also want to add that this is a Spuffy fic. NOT an A/B. I dont write A/B mainly cause I cont seem to write Angel very well.



Chapter 4. Tails all gone

She went to the couch and curled up against the cushions and reached out for the remote. Passions was coming on in a few minutes and she wondered if she had time to grab a drink. But her head was pounding and all she wanted was to fall asleep to the sounds of her favorite soap.

Joyce died on a Monday afternoon.

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Dawn met him at the airport.


After one tight long hug, the two moved silently to Dawns car. If he was surprised that she was driving Joyce's old Jeep Cherokee, Spike never let it show. They made it halfway to Sunnydale before Dawn spoke a single word. Spike almost smiled. Once she started, Dawn couldn’t even wait for a breath to disturb her words.

“The doctors said it was quick. That she probably just felt tired and decided to lay down. She liked to nap on the couch in the afternoons. At least since she stopped going to the gallery. You do know that she gave the gallery to Angel completely?” Spike nodded. Dawn had informed him of the change in a letter a few months back. Dawn didn’t even look at him before starting again. “Mom said that Angel was the besoiceoice, because Buffy and I aren’t really into running the place. I mean I like art, but I don’t think I want to be stuck in Sunnydale my whole life. Connor and I are thinking about moving to LA after I finish school. You know he graduates this year, right?”
therther silent nod ignored.

“He has a 3.8 GPA. Major in communications. Which is funny because he doesn’t really talk a lot. I am still not quite sure what a communications major is anyway.”

Pause for breath.

”Angel is going to take care of the arrangements. I mean selling the house. He said that since he and Buffy have a house already and it is almost paid for and stuff that Connor and I should get the money for the house, to help pay for my school and stuff. And cause he and Buffy got the gallery. She gave him the place fully not long after he came home from London. Wow I can’t believe that was almost a year ago. Anyway, I don’t know how I feel about that. But I guess that is fair. I mean it will save me from getting more student loans. Right?” Another Pause. “He wanted to go ahead and start getting rid of some of the things in the house, but Buffy and I wanted to wait until got got home. Connor and I thought maybe you would stay with Buffy and Angel, since we don’t really have a lot of room at our place."

Pause. Breath. Breath. Breath.

“You do know she left some stuff to you right?”

Pause. Breath.

Spike glanced over and saw tears streaming down her face. He looked away.

“I think she started doing it last year when was having surgery. Or after. Or before, since you know- can’t do anything really during surgery, unless you’re the doctor. But as a patient you need to… to…” Suddenly, Dawn pulled the car off the road.

“Bit?” Spike wasn’t surprised to see her shoulders shaking. “Oh bit. Come here.” Spike unbuckled both their seat belts and pulled her into his lap. His hand traced circles along her back as he held her tightly.

“I am sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to c Sni Sniffle. “I have been doing so well, not as good as Buffy, I don’t think she has cried since she found Mommy.” Spike reached into the glove box. He smiled as he found the small box of tissues Joyce always kept in the car.

“Nibblet, you are more than welcome to cry on me anytime you need.”

He was rewarded with a smile.

“You know she thought of you as a son, right? When we first moved to Sunnydale I asked Mom to give me an older brother, and Buffy yelled at me for being silly because Mom already had two children and she couldn’t just magically produce another sibling older than me. But when you moved in next door she took to you right away. When Buffy and I were cleaning stuff up yesterday, we found your name on the bottom of some stuff in the house. Angel said after the funeral the three of us need to go and see what she left us.” Dawn turned away and moved back into the driver side.

“Do you think that is morbid?” Her voice was quiet. Her hands gripping the wheel lightly.

“To go through the house? No. First of all, it needs to be done. Secondly, it will give us a chance to remember the good times.”

“Remember the good times? While digging through my dea… dea.”

“Stop there bit, and look at me.” Once he was satisfied he had her complete attention, Spike started again. “Mum knew one day this would happen. She knew that she would be gone and we would have to live without her. I bet she knew how hard this would be.” His hands cupped her face, and Spike used his thumbs to brush away stray tears. “She wanted this to be as easy as possible, because this is the easy part. The stuff, the things, the objects, bullocks, who needs it. But we need her. And now we have to learn to not need her. So yea, after we go tomorrow to the…. After we leave tomorrow, the three of us need to go and spend some times with her. In her home, reliving memories of times when we all were happier. And bit, the longer we wait, the harder it becomes.” He handed a few more tissues over to her. “Now why don’t you change sides with me and let me drive.”

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In the end, Spike opted to stay at the lonely house on Revello Drive, instead of Angel and Buffy's. No one but Dawn protested.

“I’ll be ok Bit. I think I would like some times to myself with the old house. Give me some time to be alone.” Dawn smiled understanding.

“Get a chance to remember all those late night hot chocolate memories.”

Long after he was alone, Spike made his way into her bedroom. The room was quite. He was surprised by how warm it still was. As though the house was still was a home. As though the woman who lived inside it was only gone for a few hours, ready for her to return soon. He moved to the bed and picked up the old ratty blue robe, he sat down on the mattress and brought it to his face. The terry cloth soaked up his tears. He wished it wouldn’t.


After breaking into Joyces liquor cabinet, Spike made his way to Buffys room. So many things of hers were left n the room. Old posters hung on the wall. Trophies and medals graced the shelves. Spike noticed with humor the empty spot on the top shelf. Long gone was the old stuffed pig he gave her the first Christmas he lived in Sunnydale.

“So long Mr. Gordo, may you live a long life treasured wherever you are.” In a mock salute to the empty space, Spike pulled back the slightly dusty covers and fell into her bed.


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He wished for rain. So sort of sign that the world was morning. It should. After all one of the most amazing women to walk the earth, walked no more. The heavens should heave in tears. His tears. The earth should shake in grief. His grief. The wind should howl in pain. His pain. The world was calm. He wasn’t calm. Standing in between his two remaing girls, each holding his hand.

He wasn’t surprised when Dawn reached out and took his fingers in hers. But when Buffy repeated the gesture his face turned slightly. Spike knew her sorrow matched his own. Sighing, Spike pulled her into his side and reached his arm around her.

They stood in silence as the final handfuls of dust were placed over the grave. The walked in silence to the cold black Limousine. The rode in silence back to the lonely house on Revello Drive. The sat in silence at the dining room table, and Spike knew he needed to do something.

Quickly he moved to the phone and ordered a pizza. When it arrived he once more opened the liquor cabinet and grabbed three glasses from the kitchen. After filling each glass with vintage red wine, Spike sat them in front of the remaining Summers women.

“To Joyce, for all the good times, for the incree woe woman, mother, and friend. For making the most amazing hot chocolate-“

“And always remembering the little marshmallows” Dawn said smiling.

Spike matched it with one of his own. “For always remembering the little marshmallows. And raising two wonderful children.”

“Three.” Buffy reached out to her glass. “Three wonde chi children.”

“Three wonderful children.” Spike and Dawn said in unison.


Hours were spent going over various items. Dawn and Buffy recounted the tale of how they were aquired to Spike, as Spike shared tales of his own. Soon Dawn was asleep in Joyce's old bed and Spike and Buffy were left alone in the dining room.

“Do you think we should have put a trash can next to the bed?” Buffy asked, face flushed by the amount of alcohol drink throughout the night.

“I grabbed one all ready.” They were sitting too close. Side by side at the long table. Empty bottles and pizza boxes surrounding them. Nothing surrounding them. Nothing between them. Two people, no longer children, lost in a world without boundaries.

Later neither would be able to tell who leaned in first. Who reached out first? Who kissed who first? Who removed clothes first?

Everything was rushed. No time for exploration, but no matter, they knew each others bodies so well already. The table shook under their combined weight. Their combined movement made the wood under them groan in protest.

Once Spike was inside he vowed never to leave again. This was his home. This was his woman. This was his world. In. Out. In. Out. He moved. Words of love on his lips were swallowed by her own mouth.

Buffy never noticed the glasses fall to the floor shattering. All she could concentrate on was this man over her. Pushing her body like it had been asking for so long. When his teeth found her taunt nipple, Buffy arched her back bringing him closer. “WILLAIM!” She clenched around him, so tight, her flesh quivering as her peak filled her body.

Spike tried to hold off. To keep this moment forever in limbo. But as her nails dug into his back, Spike felt all resolve leave his body and he latched his mouth to hers.

Soon the couple found sleep on the hard bed made of wood.

Neither noticed the man in pain outside the window.


If Angel was hurt or upset by what he saw, he didn’t let on when he knocked on the door early the next morning. He came baring gifts of doughnuts and strong black coffee. He didn’t even flinch at the guilt on Buffy's face and the lack of expression on Spike's.

Dawn looked like hell. After spending the first part of the morning purging all the contents of her stomach she vowed never to drink again. “I can’t believe you two look so well this morning.” She said grumbling as she reached for a coffee. “You both drank me than me.”

"Experience love.” Spike said as he when to make some tea. He would be damned if he would take anything from the ponce.

“I see you have become an Englgentgentleman Spike. Or should I say, William.” Dawn teased. At her nod to tea, Spike smiled.

“You do realize you are the only person in the world I let call me that.” Spike teased back.

“And Buffy, that is. I seem to remember hearing her say that last night.”

Everyone in the room but Dawn stopped moving. Spike stared at Buffy as Buffy and Angel stared at each other.

Angel cleared his throat. “Dawy doy don’t you call Connor and tell him you’re all right. I know he was worried last night. He wanted to come over, but I said you three needed the time to resolve all your issues.” With the influx on the world all, Spike and Buffy knew that they were caught.

After Dawn left them alone, Angel sat at the table. “I am not going to shout. I am not going to be mad or upset.” He paused and for a moment Buffy felt his pain vibrate through her bones.

“Angel..I..” She started.

“No Buffy, you were in a… you were grieving… and I…. Fuck.” He swore as he stood. “I am not sd. Id. I know you two have some sort of… unresolved issues. I knew that and I left you alone while you were weak.” Spike watched Buffy turn red.

“I blame myself.” Spike said quietly.

“That’s good because I blame you also.” Angel said his anger showing.

“Angel, I am sorry, but it happened. Why it did or what it means… I don’t know.” Spike felt his heart break as she moved over to her husband. His teeth pierced his tongue as Spike saw Buffy lift her hand to reach for Angel.

“I know what it means.” Spike chose his words carefully before he started again. “Angel is right. You were grieving and it is normal to reach out for someone after loss. I just hope that what I did doesn’t affect your marriage.” Spike said as he left his seat and made his way to the bathroom, leaving the married couple behind.


A/N Also, I should have a new chapter for 7 lucky men today. I am going to post it after I am done before sending it off the to the beta. AFF.net will be the only place where i add any unvetaed chapters

and please review!