Reaching out in the darkness

Chapter 4: Realizations and confessions.
***

“Knackered. He won’t be waking up…well, ever.” Spike leaned closer over the injured man, one hand moving on its own to touch him, fell the warm skin that meant Giles was alive. It comforted him. The sight of the watcher falling bonelessly to the ground had dragged pained outrage from his throat and every muscle in his body. The demon had never had a chance. And Giles was alive. //Thank God.// “How’s the head?”

Spike swallowed back a moment of disappointment as Giles rolled away from his hand, breaking the connection of touch. But he thought he’d seen a shiver tremble through that body. “I…I’m fine. Thank you.” Was that roughness in Giles’ voice physical pain…or something else?

Giles made it up onto his knees before he started to pitch back to the ground. //Damn stubborn bloke.// Following more than one emotional urge, Spike dove under a flailing hand to wrap one arm around his waist and shore up his watcher. That hand flexed against his shoulder and Spike tremblingly breathed unneeded air at the heat of that palm on his skin. In that breath he smelled again two of his favorite things. This time it was the smell of Giles’ skin and human blood. //God, he smells good.// And was that…? No, it couldn’t be. Could it? Spike in in a deep breath as if to speak and smelled it. //Cor, it is.// It was the warm musk of a man feeling desire.

And it was coming from Giles.

He had to be sure. There was too much at stake to not know for certain before doing something about it. And did he ever want to do something about this. “Not looking too fine, Rupert. That demon knock more than blood outta your skull?” Burying the gesture in casual movement, Spike raised two fingertips to the blood at Giles’ temple, flicking out his tongue to taste…//Sweet Bloody hell.// Arousal flared over his tastebuds at the same time as the pulse in the wrist pressed against his should leapt.

Rupert Giles, Watcher and Demonfighter, got all hot and bothered at a bleached blonde vamp tasting his blood and touching him. And Spike loved knowing it, locking his eyes to Giles’. The warm body pressed against Spike’s trembled even as those eyes, full of heat, turned away.

“It was just another head injury, Spike, I’ll be fine.”

//‘Course you will, my watcher. Ol’ Spike’ll make sure of that. // Tightening his arm around his watcher’s waist, Spike pulled his heat closer, listening to his heartbeat.

That blood never slowed its frantic pace during the entire trip home. And Spike felt each and every beat of it.

Spike stopped the car in front of the Summers’ house, pocketing the keys to close the door behind him. Outside the car it was harder to hear the heartbeat that fascinated him. Moving quickly around the hood, he pulled open Giles’ door and reached in a hand. “Let’s get you inside, Rupert.”

Those eyes followed the bare skin of his arm up then down his body. That adam’s apple bobbed and those hands clenched. Spike smiled at the sound of the watcher’s heart speeding up again. “I…I can walk, Spike.” Then those eyes turned sharply away as Giles moved carefully out of the car to walk towards the front door.

//Go on, Watch, try to deny it. Wait ‘til I get you indoors and alone. We’ll see how long you hold out.// Spike grinned once Giles wasn’t facing him, letting all the desire and plans he had for the man write themselves across his lips. //This will be so much fun.//

The front door opened and Dawn met them at the top of the porch steps with a concerned expression on her face. “Giles, Spike. Did you find the demon?”

“Yeah, pet, we found your demon and gave ‘imood ood heave-ho outta the land of the living.” Spike caught up that step or two to reach Giles’ side, tossing an arm around his shoulders. “Our watcher here caught himself a fist to the head. Get the door, would you, luv?”

Even though his eyes were locked on Dawn’s face, all Spike’s attention was on the hitch in Rupert’s breathing and pulse.

“Oh, of course,” Dawn turned to the house, opening the door and heading quickly up the stairs. “I’ll get the first aid kit.”

“Spry little girl we’ve got there,” Spike turned to look at Rupert’s face from less than a foot away and fought the urge to lean closer. Wait, wait until the niblet goes to bed. Giles turned, pulling away from Spike’s arm when Dawn was out of sight and lowered himself into a chair.

“It’s not that serious, I’m fine.” His face brightened and he started to stand. “In fact, I’ll just go to bed and worry about this scratch in the –“

“Sit down, Rupert,” Spike flattened a hand against the top of his shoulder, pushing him gently back down into the chair. “Let me take care of you.” Hearing his own voice, Spike watched a shiver pass along the shoulders under his hand.

“Got it,” Dawn’s voice was accompanied by the thumping of her feet down the stairs.

Spike, determined to get Rupert Giles alone, met her on the bottom step. “I’ll take care of Rupert, pet, you go on up to bed now.” Her eyebrow quirked and her lips pursed in the ‘oh, really’ face Spike had never seen anyone else use quite so effectively. Her eyes flicked past his bare should to Giles then back and her lips moved from disbelief to a wide grin. “Really?”

“Yes, pet, really. Now scat.” Ruffling her hair, he took the supplies from her hands and nudged her back up the stairs. “And no sleepwalking tonight, luv.”

“Believe me, Spike.” She whispered with a smile. “Totally approving, soo not wanting to watch. Be careful with him.”

“I plan to.”

“Good,” Moving up the stairs, Dawn called out over her shoulder. “’Night, Giles. Glad you’re safe.”

“Dawn?” Giles’ eyes followed her up the stairs, like he was a lost camper watching the search party go the wrong way. “You’re …you’re going to bed?”

“What, Watcher, afraid to be alone with me?” Stalking towards Giles, Spike reveled in the movement of those eyes over his body and the increasing scent of arousal floating in the air. Stopping right in front of Rupert’s chair, he leaned down close, touching his fingertips to that clenched jaw. Tilting back Giles’ head, Spike met his eyes. “I won’t hurt you, Rupert.” Sliding one hand along the line of that jaw, he raised the other to dab at the bloody gash with a piece of gauze. Under his fingers, the pulse in Giles’ throat leapt and jumped. Spike could feel breath, tremblingly uneven, hitting the skin of his lips. It took every ounce of his self-control not to let his lips follow that breath back to its source. To move too quickly now…could destroy so much. “Feel better?”

“Ye—yes, much. Thank you…I’ll just be going to bed, now.” Giles stood, ducking under Spike’s arm and heading for the stairs. “Good night,”

But letting Giles retreat back behind his walls, letting him build back up his denial, would be just as disastrous. //You’re not getting’ away so easy, Rupert.// Catching the fleeing man by one elbow, Spike pressed Giles backwards against the wall, pinning his hand on either side of his head. Those lips he’d been thinking about were so close and the heart pressed against his ribs was pounding at a frantic pace. “Just where do you think you’re going, Watcher?”

Giles trembled against him, trying to find words with Spike pressed so close against him. “I…upstairs…Spike, why are you…let me go.” Cool hands tightened on his.

“Not likely, Rupert. You don’t want me to let you go. Admit it.” Spike breathed in deeply, wrapping himself in the scent of desire. And despite the look on Giles face, it was mostly desire, not much fear at all.

“No, I …you’re…this is insane.” Still the warm body Spike pressed into the wall didn’t struggle, didn’t try to escape.

“You think I can’ tell, Rupert. Smart man like you should know better. I can smell it in the air, feel it in the pounding life through your body.” Spike released one of Giles’ hands, raising his own to touch trembling fingers to the raw skin hear his hairline. “I tasted it in your blood, Rupert. Don’t deny it. You want me.” He cupped Giles’ chin in his hand to stop the man from shaking his head. “I said, don’ deny it, Rupert. I know you want me and you know I’d never hurt you.” Releasing Giles’ other hand, Spike cradled that precious face in both his palms, his eyes detailing the emotions there. Still very little fear, and that would take care of itself. “So if you want to deny it, stop it. Stop me.” Blue eyes dropped from Giles’ eyes to his lips and a voice got lower and rougher. “Bloody hell, I want you.”

He’d been so close to him for so long and now those lips were finally going to touch his. //Rupert,// Slowly, ever so slowly, Spike moved closer to those lips, waiting to be stopped, hoping he wouldn’t be. Then, warmth on his skin and Spike swallowed back a groan at the way those lips responded to his, the sweet eager hesitance of this kiss. Weakly pulling back, he stayed close enough to taste the ragged breathing against his lips.

“Spike,”

//Cor, that sound…// And the way Giles leaned forward with that look on his face wasn’t bad either. //Hell, yes.// “Still pretending you want me to stop?” Pressing his body harder into the watcher’s, Spike groaned at the feel of this man so close, so warm. //So bloody hot.// “Not holding your hands down now, Rupert. Still gonna push me away or are ya gonna admit you want this as much as I do?”

Some tension left the body pinned between his and the wall and Spike watched something flow over the lines of that handsome face. Warm hands slowly lowered, moving away from the wall for the first time to rest lightly against his shoulders. “You…really want me, Spike? This isn’t just some game you’re playing.”

Relief flooded Spike’s body. The look in those eyes said it all. Smiling, he leaned closer, whispering softly against those delicious lips. “Does this…” Spike pressed his hips forward into Giles’, gasping at the feel of an erection hard against his own. “feel like a game to you, Rupert?” He watched those eyes flutter shut, felt that body arch against hhis, felt those hands tighten on his shoulders.

“Spike,”

The sound of that voice saying his name like that made Spike groan. Then a warm hand curved around the back of his neck, and warm, sweet lips opened over his own. Spike leaned heavily against Giles and the wall, nearly collapsing into this kiss. //Sweet bloody hell, *yes*.//

***

//Dear Lord,//

It seemed like his mind had been stuck in a continuous loop of those two words all night and this very minute it started playing the loop even faster. Maybe it was the hard press of Spike’s body against his own. Maybe it was the pale fingers trembling against the line of his throat. Maybe it was that low, rough, sexy voice saying his name, his first name like that. //Dear Lord,// Maybe it was that everything, all this felt so unbelievably good.

“Don’ deny it, Rupert. I know you want me and you know I’d never hurt you.” The second pale hand moved to his jaw and those piercing blue eyes searched for something in his face, seeming to find it at the back of his skull. “So if you want to deny it, stop it. Stop me.” //Dear Lord,// Even with both hands free, Giles couldn’t move. He could only watch as those eyes fell to his lips and that face moved closer. //Spike, please.// “Bloody hell, I want you.”

Cool lips pressed against his own and he couldn’t move for an entirely different reason this time. Giles didn’t want this to end. //Dear Lord,// Closing his eyes, he eagerly returned the soft kiss. This simple touching of lips was better than any of his half-denied imaginings. Until those lips pulled back, left his achingly alone. On its own, his body tried to close that new distance between their lips. “Spike,”

“Still pretending you want me to stop?” Giles felt that body press harder into his own, driving a groan from his lungs. Against his face, he felt the air of Spike’s groan. “Not holding your hands down now, Rupert. Still gonna push me away or are you gonna admit you want this as much as I do?”

//Dear Lord,// Finally, he could move. Resting his hands on those strong pale shoulders, Giles search Spike’s face for the truth and found it. Those simply gorgeous blue eyes spoke need and want more than words ever could. “You…you really want me. Spike. This isn’t just some game you’re playing.” His fingers tightened, kneading the hard muscles under his hands.

A smile, a beautiful smile curved the lips Giles desperately wanted more of. Nearly close enough to taste, those lips whispered. “Does this…” //Dear Lord, please, yes,// Spike arched against him, and Giles fought against swallowing his own tongue at the feel of all the proof he’d ever need to know that Spike really did want him pressing into his hip. “Feel like a game to you, Rupert?”

Stroking the skin under his palms, Giles dragged one hand up to the back of his neck. “Spike,” Those lips were calling to him, and he couldn’t help but answer in kind, groaning into that mouth as their tongues touched for the first time. Spike drove the last of his breath from his lungs in a harsh gasp with the amazingly thorough exploration of his mouth by lips, teeth and tongue. Giles’ arms wrapped and tightened around the lean body that still wasn’t close enough. “Spike, hm, Spike. Human, remember? We breathe.”

Those lips pulled back about one inch. Giles both hated that small distance and eagerly dragged in air. “Fine, you breathe a bit, Rupert, I’m busy.” A quick, heated grin later those lips attacked the skin of his throat, making the act of breathing even harder. His knees threatened to give out at the nibbling of blunt teeth over his pulse point and the slick glide of a tongue into the hollow of his throat. Sliding one hand into short, bleached hair to hold him close, Giles clutched at Spike’s back with the other, fighting to reinforce weak knees.

“Ah, Spi—“ Teeth scraped lightly over his collarbone and he lost control of his voice for a second. Blinking, Giles moaned and tried again. “Spike,”

Those lips left his skin and Giles found his breathing again. For a second at best. Then Spike smiled at him and his throat closed. “What, Watcher. Remember, you’re breathing and I’m busy.” Black-painted nails flicked open the top button of his shirt, lightly scratching over the skin of his chest.

“Yes, breathing, I remember.” Giles wrapped his arms around Spike’s shoulders for support as those hands and lips continued to strip away his shirt and explore his chest. Since when had the word ‘watcher’ become an endearment like luv or pet. Giles curved a hand into Spike’s hair as his own head fell back against the wall at the stroke of hands, lips, teeth and tongue over his ribs. Enough breathing, more kissing. He needed more of that mouth, now. “Spike,” Tugging the vampire up by the hand at the back of his neck, Giles smiled against those lips, whispering. “Such delicious kisses,” He swallowed Spike’s harsh groan and sent his tongue on a long imagined exploration.

Strong hands tightened against Giles’ back, pressing him harder against a sculpted chest as Spike eagerly returned the kiss. That beautiful body touched his from the belt up and it reminded Giles of something. Of all that lovely bare skin that was so close and begging to be touched. Unwilling to break this kiss, he raised both hands to cup the chiseled line of Spike’s jaw, nibbling at that lush lower lip. //Lord, Spike, your mouth…// Sliding both ands down, Giles lightly dragged the edges of his nails along the pale skin of his neck and shoulders.

“Ru- Rupert,”

Every part of that gorgeous body trembled and pressed closer. Giles smiled against the lips that were gasping his name. //Sensitive here, are we?// “More?”

“God, please, yes.” Fingers tightened in his hair, tugging Giles’ face down even as Spike’s head arched back to expose every inch of his throat. “Rupert, more.”

Grinning now, Giles moved forward, his back leaving the wall as his arms tightened around Spike. “More it is, then.” Letting those had guide him, he softly touched his lips to a lean collarbone, flicking the tip of his tongue over pale skin. “spike,” With a groan, Giles trailed his lips up and down every inch of that neck, loving each gasp and moan vibrating in his ears. “How…hard…do you like it?” Scratching his teeth over Spike’s skin, he thrilled at the twitch and tremble of the body in his arms. //My vamp’s got a thing for teeth and nails. This’ll be so much fun.//

“Cor, Watcher, harder, please…”

Closing his eyes and swallowing back a groan, Giles tightened his arms around Spike’s body and sank his teeth into a patch of that smooth skin. If the scratching of his teeth had caused an entire body twitch, then the bite brought on a grand mal seizure as every inch of that lovely pale body nearly jerked itself out of his arms. The pleasured growl on those lips dragged a harsh sigh from Giles’ throat. Or maybe that sound was caused by the sharp dig of fingernails into the back of his neck. “Spike,”

“Good god, my Watcher, upstairs…bed…now.”

//God, that voice…// Giles was about to respond, to say yes however loud his voice could manage. But then lips covered his and his tongue was otherwise occupied.

***