A Very Ordinary Evil
folder
AtS/BtVS Crossovers › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
35
Views:
2,654
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
AtS/BtVS Crossovers › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
35
Views:
2,654
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Part 4- The Inner Silence of the Soul
Part 4 – The inner silence of the soul
Willow POV, internal. No time frame, the decision making process
I can’t believe it. I love him. I have done for months. He loves me though! Can I accept the fullness of what he offers?
Goddess, A man who’s seen the Indian Mutiny, the Civil War and everything since, loves me? How can he? I don’t understand what makes me so special. Why would he want me? I’m not complaining. I’m so not complaining. I just don’t understand.
Eternity? Never aging. Seeing everything change. Never having to worry about not knowing what will happen. I know one thing. I’m pleased I’m not an historian. That would be just too great a temptation. To watch history occur, and have a long enough time base to make intelligent conclusions, based on first hand experience. I don’t think a real historian would hesitate a moment.
He loves me! How, why? What’s so special about me? I’m just the boring nerd.
He wants me forever! How can I deal with that? Why me?
What would Buffy say, about me with Spike? About me eventually becoming a vampire? I can’t believe this, I’m seriously considering becoming a soul-less creature of the night. And it’s intriguing! Not frightening, but intriguing!
He’s clever and funny and caring and he can’t bite me and … what on earth am I thinking? I want him, so damn much.
Every time I think of him I get chills. He’s so handsome, his voice, it’s like … like scotch and cigars. Why does that effect me so much? Sometimes, if I look at him, and no-one can see me, I can feel myself getting wet, wanting him, needing him. He gets into every thought, every part of my brain. There are flashes of him, at Giles apartment, in the ruins of the factory, in the school that first time we saw him.
He’s a hottie, as Buffy would put it. I remember the one time I saw him without a shirt. Goddess, he looked stunning. I remember staying as far away as possible, so that he wouldn’t be able to smell my arousal. And he wants me!
I just don’t understand. I’m not complaining, but I really don’t understand.
Goddess, I love everything about him, what should I do?
I don’t know. I’m so scared, so apprehensive of what I could become. I know there’s only the curse that was used on Angel, so if I wanted to become a vampire with a soul, I’d lose Spike.
What do I do?
What would Buffy say?t wot would she do? And Xander? Giles? Giles will have a pink fit! Still, the only real physical danger to my Spike is from Buffy.
He said he’d turn me later, like around 20 years time. We should be able to find a permanent version of the curse in that time.
The idea of seeing changes happen in society, that’s nice. Even if I would technically be an outsider.
Do I want to be outside society? Well, I am already, to all intents and purposes.
OH! The thought of him naked, caressing me, teasing me.
What do I want?
That’s simple, I want Spike. For ever.
That’s not the problem. It’s how I get to forever that’s the problem.
Would the others allow it? Should they be able to make that decision? Is it really mine alone to make? I’m so confused. All I really know is I want him. Every fibre of my being aches for him.
How would the others react to me being with him? Would they even allow it? Would they try to hurt him, to kill him? What about my parents? They’d never believe me if I told them the truth. So how can I explain that my lover never goes out in the daylight?
There’s a disease. What’s it called? Where people can’t go out because exposure to the sun cracks their skin open. What’s it called? Doesn’t matter, I can look it up later.
It’s my decision. Mine alone. I know I can’t get anyone else to help me.
Let’s try and look at this logically. If I say yes to Spike, the others either will or won’t accept it. If they do, there’s no problem, if they don’t then Spike and I will leave.
If I say no, then I’ll never see Spike again.
Can I live without him? Yes, but it would be an existence, not a life.
What if I was to transfer to Oxford, or Harvard, they both wanted me? No, it wouldn’t make any difference. If I just ran away, they’d all chase me down. It’s good to have friends like that, but just occasionally, it can be annoying as well.
I saw how he was with Drusilla, and he was … amazing. Even though she preferred Angel, he stayed by her, cared for her, worshipped her. I can’t believe he wants to do that for me. Why do I deserve such treatment?
The one thing I do know, is that Spike loves me. The me that I am now. So he loves my soul as well. Twenty years should be long enough to find a permanent anchor for my soul.
Goddess! I decided!
Willow POV, internal. No time frame, the decision making process
I can’t believe it. I love him. I have done for months. He loves me though! Can I accept the fullness of what he offers?
Goddess, A man who’s seen the Indian Mutiny, the Civil War and everything since, loves me? How can he? I don’t understand what makes me so special. Why would he want me? I’m not complaining. I’m so not complaining. I just don’t understand.
Eternity? Never aging. Seeing everything change. Never having to worry about not knowing what will happen. I know one thing. I’m pleased I’m not an historian. That would be just too great a temptation. To watch history occur, and have a long enough time base to make intelligent conclusions, based on first hand experience. I don’t think a real historian would hesitate a moment.
He loves me! How, why? What’s so special about me? I’m just the boring nerd.
He wants me forever! How can I deal with that? Why me?
What would Buffy say, about me with Spike? About me eventually becoming a vampire? I can’t believe this, I’m seriously considering becoming a soul-less creature of the night. And it’s intriguing! Not frightening, but intriguing!
He’s clever and funny and caring and he can’t bite me and … what on earth am I thinking? I want him, so damn much.
Every time I think of him I get chills. He’s so handsome, his voice, it’s like … like scotch and cigars. Why does that effect me so much? Sometimes, if I look at him, and no-one can see me, I can feel myself getting wet, wanting him, needing him. He gets into every thought, every part of my brain. There are flashes of him, at Giles apartment, in the ruins of the factory, in the school that first time we saw him.
He’s a hottie, as Buffy would put it. I remember the one time I saw him without a shirt. Goddess, he looked stunning. I remember staying as far away as possible, so that he wouldn’t be able to smell my arousal. And he wants me!
I just don’t understand. I’m not complaining, but I really don’t understand.
Goddess, I love everything about him, what should I do?
I don’t know. I’m so scared, so apprehensive of what I could become. I know there’s only the curse that was used on Angel, so if I wanted to become a vampire with a soul, I’d lose Spike.
What do I do?
What would Buffy say?t wot would she do? And Xander? Giles? Giles will have a pink fit! Still, the only real physical danger to my Spike is from Buffy.
He said he’d turn me later, like around 20 years time. We should be able to find a permanent version of the curse in that time.
The idea of seeing changes happen in society, that’s nice. Even if I would technically be an outsider.
Do I want to be outside society? Well, I am already, to all intents and purposes.
OH! The thought of him naked, caressing me, teasing me.
What do I want?
That’s simple, I want Spike. For ever.
That’s not the problem. It’s how I get to forever that’s the problem.
Would the others allow it? Should they be able to make that decision? Is it really mine alone to make? I’m so confused. All I really know is I want him. Every fibre of my being aches for him.
How would the others react to me being with him? Would they even allow it? Would they try to hurt him, to kill him? What about my parents? They’d never believe me if I told them the truth. So how can I explain that my lover never goes out in the daylight?
There’s a disease. What’s it called? Where people can’t go out because exposure to the sun cracks their skin open. What’s it called? Doesn’t matter, I can look it up later.
It’s my decision. Mine alone. I know I can’t get anyone else to help me.
Let’s try and look at this logically. If I say yes to Spike, the others either will or won’t accept it. If they do, there’s no problem, if they don’t then Spike and I will leave.
If I say no, then I’ll never see Spike again.
Can I live without him? Yes, but it would be an existence, not a life.
What if I was to transfer to Oxford, or Harvard, they both wanted me? No, it wouldn’t make any difference. If I just ran away, they’d all chase me down. It’s good to have friends like that, but just occasionally, it can be annoying as well.
I saw how he was with Drusilla, and he was … amazing. Even though she preferred Angel, he stayed by her, cared for her, worshipped her. I can’t believe he wants to do that for me. Why do I deserve such treatment?
The one thing I do know, is that Spike loves me. The me that I am now. So he loves my soul as well. Twenty years should be long enough to find a permanent anchor for my soul.
Goddess! I decided!