No! But? Bollocks!

Title: No! But? Bollocks!
Author: Margie
Rating: NC-17 (for the naughty sex parts)
Pairing: X/S
Spoilers: None really.

Summary: Another sequel in my Who? What? Huh? Series. This
follows How? Why? Bloody Hell, Yes!. X/S are married and still
fighting the good fight.

Author's Note: Some angst, but overall a happy fic. This might be a
long one folks…I haven't quite decided. Although I hope I don't sound
as if I plagiarized anything, I'd say that this story was probably
inspired by Velvet Crypt's Family (if you haven't read it, go -
http://www.angelfire.co2/fi2/firebird_ascending/fics/SpikeXander.html
). I love the idea of X/S having kids, and thought I'd give it a shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Joss owns it all, damn him!
Feedback: Yes please! margaritagomez1@msn.com
Archive: If you want it just email me to tell me where it's going. It will
eventually be on my own website when I get the chance to update
(www.angelfire.com/indie/margarks/index.html)

***

Chapter 5 - The Hard Questions

When Xander and the kids returned home they did indeed have
several good movies, Goobers, and extra-buttery popcorn.

"Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Please? Please? Please?" Dor was
begging for his choice of first movie.

Xander laughed and sorted through the pile of DVDs they'd brought
home. "Which one?" They'd gotten both The Sorcerer's Stone and
the Chamber of Secrets, at Dor's insistence, of course.

"Stone! Stone!" Dor was clapping in between grabbing handfuls of
popcorn.

Xander looked at Spike who was grinning foolishly at Dor's antics and
then at Lonnie. Both shrugged their acceptance and seated
themselves comfortably on the living room floor, where they had piled
all the snacky goodness.

Before joining them, Xander made sure to turn off all the lights. With
the curtains firmly shut, the room was almost completely dark. "Wow,
it's almost like actually being at the movie theater," Lonnie
commented.

"Yeah, luv, but this way we t hat have to worry about any other
wankers ruining the movie for us." Spike ducked Xander's balled fist.

"Spike, language!" Xander admonished him.

"Sorry, pet." He pecked Xan on the cheek in apology, although in
truth he never actually considered 'wanker' to be a 'bad' word. But he
supposed he'd have a devil of time explaining if one of the kids asked
what it meant.

They spent the afternoon sprawled on the floor, eating junk food and
watching Harry Potter battle all sorts of nefarious villains. By the time
they made it through the second movie, Dor was yawning widely.

"Time for your nap, pet." Spike scooped him up from the floor and
carried him back to the bedroom. Xander gave Lonnie a look and she
followed, also yawning sporadically.

They climbed into bed together, Xander and Spike tucking them in on
each side. As they were straightening the covers, Dor blinked at
them sleepily. "Poor Harry," he whispered, drifting closer and closer
to sleep.

"Why's that, luv?" Spike asked, as he finished tugging the wrinkles
out of the coverlet.

"He had to live with the mean old Dursleys. He didn't have a mom
and to to love him," Dor answered before closing his eyes and
falling into a light slumber.

Xander's eyes filled with tears. He blinked them back not wanting to
alert the kids to the reawhy why Dor's statement had caused him so
much pain. He looked up to find Spike watching him, the vampire's
own eyes wetter than normal.

Xander leant down to kiss Lonnie on the cheek. She had been silent
the entire time, making no comment on Dor's remark or its effect on
Xander. "Get some rest, sweetheart." Both Xander and Spike quickly
escaped the room before anything more could be said.

***

"Oh, Spike." Xander breathed a sad sigh. "How are we going to tell
them?"

They were cuddled on the couch together, the Die Hard DVD playing
in the background. Xander hadn't wanted to talk about Dor's
comments when they'd first come out to the living room so he'd put
the movie on. But after a few minutes Xander found that he couldn't
stop the worry and had to voice his concerns.

"Maybe it's time to have a sit down with them and explain," Spike
suggested.

"Explain what? That their parents are never coming for them? Thatheythey're gone for good?" Xander couldn't keep the anger from his
voice. He didn't know where the feeling had come from, but the fact
that these two little kids were left all alone made his blood boil. He
wasn't angry with their parents, of course, just at the situation itself.

"Calm down, Xanpet," Spike soothed, running his hands up and
down Xander's arm. "They're not alone, yeah? Even if we never find
any relatives, they'll always have us."

"How do you always know what I'm thinking?" Xander gave Spike a
wan smile.

"Years of study, luv." Spike returned Xander's smile with one of his
own. He reached up to run a finger along Xander's jaw line before
leaning toward his mate for a comforting kiss. "So, what shall we tell
them, then?"

"Well, you're right that no matter what happens they'll always have
us." Xander's smile became more genuine. "Thank you, Spike."

"For what, Xan?"

"For being you. For being the kind of man that wouldn't think twice
about taking in two kids who need a home," Xander answered.

"Don't you mean the kind of vamp?" Spike smirked.

Xander just continued to smile taking Spike's hand in his and rubbing
circles on Spike's palm with his thumb. "Nope. Man," Xander
rebuked. "You know you're not just a monster to me, Spike."

"I know, luv." Spike's heart contracted. Xander was right, Spike
knew how his mate felt about him. Bt alt always made his undead
heart beat in his chest whenever Xander said the words aloud.
"Thank you."

"Anyway, maybe we should just start by making them understand that
they won't ever have to worry about being alone. Worry about not
having a family." Xander got the conversation back on track.

"Why would we have to worry about that?" A small voice interrupted
their talk.

Xander's head whipped around to find Lonnie standing in the
doorway. Her eyes were huge in her face as she stood staring at
them, chewing hard on her bottom lip.

Xander's voice got stuck in his throat and he found himself unable to
speak. His heart was hammering in his chest and he could feel his
eyes begin to water. How much had she heard?

"Luv..." Spike began but the word trailed off into nothing when he
realized he didn't know what to say.

"They're not coming back are they?" Lonnie whispered, her eyes on
the ground, her big toe drawing circles in the carpet. "They...they
went to heaven, didn't they?" Her eyes came up to meet Xander's in
time to see the first of his tears fall.

And then Lonnie was running. She raced across the room and
launched herself into Xander's arms, sobbing all the way. Xander
held her close as she cried, giving Spike a pleading look. Spike
wished he could give Xander what he wanted. But there was no
getting around death. And Lonnie's grief would only wane over time.
So Spike did the only thing he *could* do, he wrapped his arms
around Xander and purred softly. They stayed like that, huddled
together on the couch for what seemed like hours.

Finally, Lonnie's sobs died down, and she pulled away from Xander's
chest to wipe at her wet cheeks. "Are we going to stay with you
now?"

"Oh, sweetie." Xander kissed her softly on the crown of her head.
"You can always stay with us. But we're going to try to find some
relatives. They might want to take care of you. And they would want
to know about your mom and dad, too," he answered truthfully.

"Relatives?" Lonnie asked, confused at the big word.

"Like aunts and uncles and cousins," Xander explained. "Do you
know any of your relatives names?"

"Nuh uh." Lonnie shook her head. "We just had mommy and daddy."

"You've never met anyone else in your family, luv?" Spike asked,
curious.

"No." Lonnie shook her head again.

"Okay, well we'll just have to find them the hard way," Xander
interjected.

"But you said *you'd* take care of us! Why do you have to find
someone else? Don't you want us?" Lonnie was almost in tears
again.

"Oh, God!" Xander exclaimed. "Of course we do! We just want to do
what's best for you, sweetheart." Xander swept Lonnie back into his
arms and hugged her close.

"Does Dor know, as well?" Spike asked after a bit.

"No," Lonnie answered. "I didn't tell him what I thought. I didn't want
to scare him."

"How did you know?" Xander asked, turning Lonnie's face up so he
could see into her eyes.

"They *sniffle* told me to wait in the car, but I looked out and saw the
big monster." Lonnie wiped at the fresh tears. "I heard yelling. And
*sniffle* I unbuckled Dor and pushed him to the other side."

Spike nodded, remembering how they'd found the children huddled
on the far side of the bench seat. "That was right smart of you, luv,"
Spike praised her. "And very brave to try and keep your brother
safe."

"We should tell Dor." Lonnie suddenly stood straighter. "He's waking
up now."

Spike's brow furrowed at Lonnie's comment. "You know Dor's
waking?"

"It tickles." Lonnie shrugged.

"What tickles, luv?"

"My head." She pointed to the back of her head.

"Your head tickles when Dor's around?" Xander asked.

"Only sometimes. But I can tell when he's awake and when he's
sleeping," Lonnie told them.

"Maybe we can wait a little while before we tell him?" Xander
suggested, wanting to put off the unpleasant task.

"He'll know something's wrong," Lonnie said.

"How?"

"Because I'm sad."

Xander was done trying to figure out the mentink ink that existed
between the two siblings. His head hurt and he was exhausted from
the emotional embrace they'd all just shared. It was something that
could wait for another day. Besides, from the look on Spike's face
Xander had a feeling that the vampire was thinking about the
implications of Lonnie's statements enough for the both of them.

They all untangled themselves from the couch, each man dipping
down to kiss Lonnie on the cheek before heading back toward the
bedroom. Lonnie ran ahead, wanting to be there before Dor was fully
awake and wondering where she was.

"You ready for this, luv?" Spike asked, his hand clasping Xander's as
they made their way through the apartment.

"No," Xander answered truthfully.

Spike's only response was to squeeze his lover's hand as they
walked into the bedroom together.