Eyes of the Soul

Title: Eyes Of The Soul

Author: Jennifer

Copyright (c) 2002 by Jennifer Johnson
Feedback: jennpurr@yahoo.com or willowtaralove@netzero.com Please, giv fee feedback. Good or bad. Feel free to tell me what you think. Or just post it here.
Disclaimers: All characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. This is solely for my entertainment. Please do not copyright this story.
F/F romance: If the idea of a same sex relationship bothers you, please do not read this story.
Pairings: W/T eventually, X/A
Spoilers: Season 6. This is set after Seeing Red, but Tara never dies at the hands of Warren. The rest is just my own creativity. Oh, and Giles never left.
Summary: Tara is missing, or so the Scoobies think. What will happen when they find her?
Rating: PG - There's a little angst concerning Willow.
My Thanks: To Sam (Blue77) and Danie. Thanks for being my betas and for helping me out with all the suggestions. You truly are gifted for writing, both of you. I hope you continue to do so. ;) And Danie, don't forget the catnip. ;)
Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at writing Buffy fan fiction, so please tell me what you think. I usually write fan fiction for ER. I apologize for the heavy subject of W/T angst in this story, especially after what has happened to Tara. These thoughts have been floating around in my brain lately and I just wanted to see if I could turn them into a story. Willow and Tara WILL have a happy ending, if that helps. Let's just hope we get that on the show. Some of the inspiration for this came from "Unexpected Consequences" Lisa's a genius. Thanks for your story Lisa. :)

Eyes Of The Soul: Chapter 4/?
By: Jennifer



"Dawn! You're gonna be late!" Buffy yelled up the stairs to her sister. "Xander's here. Hurry up!" she shouted impatiently.

"I told you I was coming," said Dawn, incredulously, as she stomped down the stairs.

The slayer just raised an eyebrow at her sister.

"Hey Dawnster. Ready to go?" Xander asked from the door. He was twirling his keys around his finger on the key ring.

Smiling brightly. "Yeah, I'm ready," she beamed at him.

"Alrighty... let's go." He opened the door and made a motion with his hand for Dawn to go ahead.

Buffy walked up beside Xander, "Thanks for taking her."

"Hey... no prob., Buff," he said with a proud smile. "I'll see you later. I'll pick Dawn up from school on my break and bring her to the shop."

"Sounds good. I'll see you there." Buffy shooed him out the door.

"See ya," he said, as he hurriedly ran to the car and hopped in.

Buffy gave him a quick wave before going back inside. After closing the door she headed up the stairs and walked over to Willow's door. She listened for any sign of life, but the room was silent.

Knocking lightly, "Will, you awake?" she asked.

No response from the other side.

Buffy gingerly turned the knob and stepped inside. She found a still sleeping redhead, who was mumbling something in her sleep. Stepping closer to the bed, the blonde tried to see if she could make out any of the words.

"NO! It'll eat you, Buffy," Willow said, as she turned her head upwards, still deep in slumber.

The slayer smiled at her best friend. She kneeled down beside the bed in front of Willow and whispered. "What will eat me, Will?"

"The frog," Willow mumbled.

"The frog'll eat me? But I'm the slayer. I'll slay it." Buffy laughed softly under her breath.

"No... you can't," the redhead replied somewhat frightened.

"Why not?" she playfully asked.

"Cause it's radioactive."

Buffy could barely contain her laughter. Willow would often talk in her sleep and you never could predict what words would fall from her lips.

"Then how do I kill the frog?" the slayer played along.

There was a short silence and a repositioning of the redhead's body before she spoke again. Once she stilled, she said, "Smoochies."

"Huh?" Buffy scrunched up her brow at that. "I have to kiss it?" She frowned. "But it's radioactive."

"No... you have to hide," Willow said sleepily.

"Why do I have to hide?" the slayer asked.

"So you can't see my red cheeks." Willow quickly flipped over onto her stomach and buried her face in her pillow. She was embarrassed that she had been caught talking in her sleep. And the worst part of it was that, it was Buffy that caught her. She would never hear the end of this one.

"Will, are you awake?" The blonde laughed at her friend's sudden shy behavior.

A muffled, "Yes," found her ears.

Buffy ran a hand over Willow's back. "Good. Cause Giles is waiting for us at the Magic Box."

Another muffled answer was heard, "Okay."

"We're gonna to do research, remember?"

All of a sudden, Willow sprung up from the bed and almost knocked Buffy on her backside ae fle flipped over again. "Yes, research." She picked up on her friend's scowl. "I'm sorry, Buffy," the redhead's eyes full of apology.

"It's okay. I'll go downstairs so you can get ready to go." Buffy started to stand, but Willow's hand gripping her own stopped her.

"Do you think she's safe?" Willow asked sadly.

"Do I think who's safe?" the slayer asked as her eyes found her best friend's.

"Tara..." the redhead whispered.

With a sure expression, "I'm sure she's fine, Will." Buffy tried to keep her tone even. She couldn't bear to think of Tara hurt or in danger. That wasn't even an option.

"Really?" A tear snaked down Willow's cheek.

"Really." Buffy squeezed the hand in hers.

"Buffy?" the redhead whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Will you do something for me?" Her eyes locked with the blonde's.

"Anything," Buffy said without question.

"Will you hold me?" Willow whimpered, as her tears started to flow ever.

Buffy got up off the floor and slid in beside her friend on the bed, pulling the crying redhead into her arms. "Always. All you have to do is ask."

Willow nodded her head on Buffy's chest and just held tight to her.

Tilting her head down, she kissed the top of Willow's head. "It's gonna be okay, Will. I promise."

In response, the redhead pulled Buffy's body closer and she cried into the warmth of her embrace.

The slayer comfortingly ran her hand up and down Willow's back and whispered calming words to her. Her words inadvertently calmed her own tears that were just aching to flow over.

*****

At the Magic Box, Giles was in full research mode. He was combing through every page of the various volumes in front of him, looking for anything useful.

He had found a few passages on animal possession. Most of them referred to certain behaviors that different animals might display, if suspected of being possessed. He didn't quite know what to look for in the text. All he had to go on was what he had learned from his conversation with Buffy the night before.

Every now and then a, 'Hmmm... that's interesting,' could be heard.

"Anya, did you ever deal with any type of animal possession while you were a demon?" Giles asked, hopefully.

Anya was sitting across the table from him flipping through pages in a book. "Not really. I would hear talk about it, but it wasn't really my thing."

Nodding, he replied. "Yes, of course."

"Although, I did deal a little bit with punishing men by turning them into animals for the rest of their lives. It could be quite unpleasant, if you ask me," she said, with a hint of malice in her eyes.

Giles looked at her somewhat horrified. "I can imagine." He quickly looked back to his book.

As soon as he started reading again, the bell above the door to the shop rang and in walked Buffy.

Willow was following close behind.

Re-adjusting his glasses on his nose, he smiled at the sight of the two and gladly called out to them. "Ah... Willow, Buffy. How are you this morning?"

Willow found her way over to the table and sat next to the watcher. "Woo Hoo," she said flatly. "YAY... couldn't be better." She slumped down in the chair until her head was resting on the back of the seat.

The sight of Willow's features was enough to be concerned. "Are you quite alright?" Giles asked the sorry sight beside him.

All the redhead did was shake her head no. It took everything she had to hold her tears back. She desperately wanted to just curl up in a ball in the corner and just stay there, but she couldn't.

Willow forced herself to stay strong; her thoughts betrayed her though. 'God... please let this be over soon. I can't do this.' Her lower lip quivered.

"Anything yet?" Buffy tried to steer the attention away from her best friend. She knew Willow didn't like being the center of everyone's focus.

Pulling his attention away from Willow, "Oh...I'm not entirely certain. I have found some interesting passages, but I'm not sure if they mean anything or not," Giles admitted honestly.

Buffy put her hands on her hips and let out a long sigh. "Do you think I should look for the cat tonight? See what it will do?" She was almost afraid to hear the answer to her inquiry.

Pondering his answer briefly, "That might actually be a good idea." Giles smiled at his slayer. "Yes. I think you should."

"Do you want me to go with you, Buffy?" Willow asked. She didn't like the idea of her best friend patrolling with a Jaguar running the streets of Sunnydale. They didn't know yet if it wasn't dangerous.

"It could be rabid, you never know. OH... rabid animals can act like that. They can act all nice and sweet, but really they are just sick and you could get sick from them. Buffy... you could get sick."

Willow was working herself up with worry. "It should have tried to eat you last night, not help you. And why didn't it? Not that I want it to eat you. I still think it's possessed. Why else..."

The redhead's babble was cut off by Giles, "Willow, I don't want you putting yourself in danger by helping Buffy. We don't know what to expect, if she should come across this cat again."

Willow tried to object. "... But..." The redhead knew she didn't have anything to worry about. She knew Buffy was capable of taking care of herself. 'I just don't wanna be left at home doing nothing, when I could be out helping Buffy and trying to search for Tara. Tara. Where are you, baby?' She frowned at her thoughts.

They automatically went back to her love, no matter what she was talking about or doing.

"No, 'buts,' Will. I don't want you in danger." Buffy's tone implied that she would not accept any argument from her friend. 'As long as I'm around, you're not gonna be in any type of danger. Not if I can help it.' She added in her mind.

The slayer had watched her best friend go through her depression and mood swings, since Tara had disappeared. 'An injured Willow, is not gonna help find Tara. And we have to find her,' Buffy thought to herself as she watched the redhead's face accept the final decision that she was not going to go out slaying tonight.

A pout formed on Willow's lips, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Here," Giles said, pushing a book in front of the pouting girl. "Why don't you see if you can't find anything useful in here that we can use."

Willow put a hand on each side of the chair by her thighs and pushed herself up into a sitting position. After forcing a smile at Giles, she flipped open the book and started reading.

"I want you to be extra careful, Buffy. Here, why don't you read these few chapters on Animal possession? I want you to watch this cat very carefully, if you should find it. Watch its movements, its actions. Just be on top of everything it does, it could be imperative to your safety." Giles searched her eyes for understanding.

"Gotcha. I can be watcher girl," she half joked.

"Buffy, this is not a matter to joke about. It could be your life that is in danger if this animal shows any type of aggression. I need you to be extra careful. I don't want..."

"Giles... I'll be careful. I promise." She squeezed his forearm for reassurance.

"Yes, well, lets just see that you hold to that promise." He smiled at his surrogate daughter before looking back to the text at his fingers.

"What if..." Willow began to say something, but cut herself off. She continued to read the words of her book.

"Yes, Willow? Did you find something?" the former librarian inquired.

The redhead crinkled her brow as if in deep concentration. There was a moment of silence before she turned towards Giles; he was staring at her curiously. "What if it wasn't possessed? What if it's just a really nice kitty? There can be some like that you know, if they are handled and raised properly."

"What's goin' on in that noggin of yours, Will?" Buffy looked at her expectantly.

"I don't know. Will you go with me to the library at the campus? Maybe we can find some books on kitties to use. They might have something in them that might help." She looked at Giles for his reaction. 'Anything to get out of here.'

"I say, that's a good idea, Willow. Yes. Buffy why don't you go with her and see what you can find." Turning back to the redhead. "Can you check them out and bring them back here?" He knew the answer to that without even asking.

"Me, check out library books? Giles, you know better than to ask me that." Willow smiled warmly at him, her former mood lightening somewhat, but not disappearing. 'I can put on this act and then everything will be okay, right? No... it won't, but what else am I supposed to do?' She argued in her mind.

"I'll see what they have and bring back what we can find." She scooted her chair back and stood.

"Okay, Giles can we take your car?" Buffy asked. "I promise to behave while driving." She all, but batted her eyelashes at the watcher.

"Alright, but be careful." He reached into his pocket and handed over his keys. "Bring it back in one piece, will you?"

"Yes... I promise. Besides," pointing at Willow, "She'll see to it that I behave." Buffy grabbed Willow's hand and yanked her towards the front of the shop, towards the door.

"We won't be gone too long," she said, as they hurried out the door.

Willow barely squeaked out a, 'Bye,' before being pulled completely out of the shop.

"I hope my car will be alright," Giles said, worriedly.

"With Buffy driving?" Anya started laughing.

"Oh, Dear Lord!" was all the watcher could say at the thought of Buffy behind the wheel of his convertible.

*****

At the library, Willow and Buffy had found the section on animals and were looking through the books vigorously.

"Awww... kitties," Willow exclaimed. "Look, Buffy." She pointed at the book that was open in her hands.

"Yes, Will. I see the kitties." Buffy studied her friend for a moment. A smile lit up her features whenever she saw a new picture of a cat in the book. She didn't appear to be down, at least at the moment. Willow was certainly smiling more than Buffy had seen her smile in the past few weeks. 'Give her a book on cats to concentrate on and she smiles. I know half of that smile is put on, though. She's so brave. Just wait Will, we'll get your girl back.'

The slayer took a step closer to the redhead and threw an arm over her shoulders. "You feeling better?"

Willow turned her head and met Buffy's eyes. "Um... you want a fake answer or a real one?"

"How about one of the honest variety?" she prodded.

"I'd be better if I knew this research would help me find Tara. I just hate this. Why can't we find her? And why didn't that guiding spell work and why can't I just get a gutty feeling to know where she is? We're always supposed to be able to find each other. So why... can't I... now?" Willow started to sob. She had been holding back her tears, trying to put on a brave face, but her heart wouldn't let her hold that shield up any longer.

Standing in the middle of the animal section of the campus library, Willow sobbed. She didn't care who saw her, it's the only thing she knew to do.

Buffy placed a tentative hand on the redhead's shoulder and momentarily found her friend leaning into that touch for strength.

Willow grabbed onto the Slayer's shoulders and started to sink to the ground, her tears falling faster and harder now. It felt good to finally let it out.

The blonde followed her to the ground, to offer her support and she just let the other girl cry. "Let it go, Will. It's okay. You just cry as long as you need to." Buffy hugged her close.


Once Willow calmed down, she pulled back from her friend's embrace and looked at her embarrassed. "I'm sure I look all silly sitting here crying in the middle of the library. I just don't know what to do, Buffy. Tell me what to do."

She knew Buffy didn't hold the answers, but she was growing more and more desperate everyday.

Buffy locked eyes with those searching for guidance, "You live, Will. You try to be strong... as possible, anyway... but you have the right to grieve. This is a huge thing. If it were me in this position, I don't know what I would do. Just remember, it's good to talk about stuff. Don't keep stuff locked away, that won't help."

She paused a moment. "...But, don't give up. Tara's alive and she's out there. We'll find her, Will."

Willow attempted a smile. It wasn't a full Willowsmile, but it would have to do.

Smiling warmly, "That smile looks good on ya, Will. Why don't you keep it there." She winked at her before helping the other girl stand.

"Thanks, Buff. I'll try," she promised.

"Good. Now, did you find anything in that book?" Buffy inquired, trying to change the subject.

"Um... I don't know. Most of it is stuff I already know," the computer whiz said, as she picked up the book from the floor and started to flip through the pages.

On one of the pages, a particular photo caught her eye. "Buffy look. This kitty has blue eyes." She held the book in front of her friend. "I forgot that Bengal tigers have blue eyes. Well, the white Bengal's do anyway. Isn't it pretty?" Willow cooed.

"And then there are the white lions. They have blue eyes. I forgot about them, too." She frowned. "Jaguars have green or brown eyes though, not blue. They're still pretty though."

"Yes. Very pretty, Will." Buffy sighed. 'I love seeing her smile. When she's smiling, things are usually right with the world, although... they aren't really right right, right now. That just sounded stupid,' she thought. "Maybe we should just take these back with us and just go through them with Giles and Anya?"

"You've got my vote." Willow closed the book in her hands and grabbed four more books off the shelf on large cats. "Just grab a few more of those." She pointed at the books. "Most of the large cats have the same personalities and things, so there should be something useful in all of these books."

"You're the boss lady." She smiled affectionately at the redhead. "Here, give me those. I'll carry them. My slayer muscles need a workout," Buffy threw in for good measure.

Willow gladly handed them over and they made their way to the front of the library. Once the books were all checked out, Buffy and Willow turned to go.

"Can you drop me off at the house? I think I'm just gonna go lay down for a while," the redhead asked.

"You okay?" Buffy's concern was kicking in again.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," she affirmed.

"Okay, but I think you really should come back to the shop. I think you need some distraction right now, Will... but it's up to you. I'll do whatever you want me to do." The slayer wanted to show her support, but she knew the last thing Willow needed was to be alone right now.

Willow nodded. Once again Buffy was right. She really DIDN'T need to be alone right now. "Okay. As much as I really want to be broody girl right now, you're right. So... let's go."

*****


End of part 4