Choices

Buffy's eyes fluttered open as dawn began to creep its way through the cracks in her curtains. She wasn't sure what woke her up, but she wasn't ready to get up yet. They had shifted during the night and she was now on her back, between Angel and Spike. Angel lay on his side still and she smiled as she watched him slumber. God, but he was gorgeous. He looked like...well, an angel. Unable to stop herself, she leaned in and pecked his lips quickly. He murmured something incoherent and rolled to his stomach, draping an arm across her, resting his large hand on her stomach. Half on top of Spike's hand already resting on her stomach as Spike slept on his stomach too. She smiled at how boyish he looked while sleeping. She'd always enjoyed sharing a bed with Spike. He enjoyed cuddling just as much as she did, even though he'd deny it to hell and back if she dared let out that secret. Pressing a kiss to his lips as well, Buffy snuggled deeper under the covers and let her mind drift as she fell back to sleep.

**Buffy: Age 15. Year: 1998**

Buffy sat on the park bench at dusk, just as Whistler had told her to do. He had told her he was bringing in some help for her. She was wary on what kind of help he could possibly be bringing her, but being the trusting soul that she was, she went with it. Whistler had been nothing if not helpful thus far, assuring her she wasn't a freak, telling her stories of great Slayers and glossing over their short life spans to spare her feelings.
Just as the sun had finally descended and the sky was turning black, she saw Whistler coming from across the street, from an alleyway. She squinted to see the tall figure coming behind him, his head hung low. Was this her help? She stood, suddenly nervous.
Whistler waved and grinned his trademark grin as the pair approached. The closer they got, the more Buffy could make out the tall, dark stranger. She took him in, drank him in like water. If this was the help Buffy was getting, she wanted to know everything she could about him. This was a working relationship after all wasn't it? Well, she had to make sure she liked this man, didn't she? And what kind of man was he? Whistler had been shady on the details. All he'd said was that she wasn't going to have a Watcher. Well, a Watcher was human, so did that mean this man wasn't human?

"Hey kid, how've you been?" Whistler asked as he strolled to her.

Buffy smiled warmly at him, "good," she darted a glance at the man next to him who was watching her. He was handsome, was her first thought. "So, who's this?"

Whistler chuckled, "impatient, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah," she said as if he should have already known this. "Not everyday a girl gets a...what exactly are you?" She asked pointedly.

He looked up at her and their eyes met. Warm, chocolate brown. Inviting. Soulful. Troubled. She cocked her head to the side feeling something akin to tenderness for him. She wanted to help him for some reason. Perhaps they could help each other.

"I'm Angel," he told her, his voice smooth and welcoming.

Her eyes widened. "Angel? Are you...are you an angel?"

Whistler laughed, "no kid. He's not. Why don't you tell her?"

Angel narrowed his eyes briefly at Whistler before locking eyes with Buffy again. "I'm a vampire."

She stared at him. Then furrowed her brow, squinted her eyes and shook her head. "Okay, I don't get it."

"Don't get what?" Angel sounded defensive.

"You're a Vampire and you're going to be my protector?" She was seriously confused.

"Well, he agreed to meet you, he didn't agree to-"

"Yes, I'm going to be your protector," Angel cut Whistler off.

Buffy nodded slowly, "but you're a vampire? Don't you want to, kill me or something?"

"I have my soul."

Her eyes bugged, "your soul? You have your soul? Oh my God, that must suck!"

Angel stared at her, seeming uncomfortable. Buffy thought maybe she was a bit over zealous with the questions when he started to chuckle softly. Whistler had a look of shock on his face and he looked at Buffy, almost accusingly. She shrugged.

Angel shook his head, still chuckling. "No one's ever put it quite that way before. It does 'suck'."

Buffy sighed and smiled brightly.

"So, I think we should move things along here. Angel should probably get a feel for how you fight."

"Oh, yes, of course. So, we should probably patrol," Buffy agreed and started off. Angel hurriedly caught up and Buffy kept stealing glances at him out of the corner of her eye. He was the tall, dark and handsome type. Too bad he was so OLD.

Suddenly, Angel stopped and looked around.

Buffy took in her surroundings. "Vampire?" she whispered.

Angel nodded and then one came barreling out of the bushes, growling. Easily, Angel coat hangered it with his long arms and it tripped, falling to the ground.

"Oh, but that's too easy!" She exclaimed and started for it, stake in hand. She didn't get a chance to however, because a lean figure all in black picked up the vampire and punched it dead in the face. The figure looked up and Buffy noticed it was a man, a man with platinum blond hair, the bluest eyes she'd ever seen and cheekbones so sharp they could cut glass. He grinned crookedly at her and punched the vampire again.

"Spike, what the hell are you doing here!" Angel exclaimed, annoyed.

"Helping the girl out," Spike replied matter-of-factly and gestured for Buffy to go ahead and stake the vamp.

Without hesitation, Buffy staked the vampire, dusted herself off and looked up at the blond. "I don't think it was really necessary to punch him. I could've just staked him as he was."

"Not as much fun that way," Spike shrugged, bowed, and held out his hand gallantly. "Spike at your service. And you are?"

Buffy couldn't help but giggle. "Buffy," and she shook his hand.

"William, you changed your mind." Whistler said, surprised.

"William? I thought it was Spike," Buffy was confused.

"Spike's my nickname. William is my Christian name. I prefer Spike though," Spike explained.

"Why don't you tell her how you got the nickname Spike, WILLIAM," Angel said, irritated. He crossed his arms and stared the shorter man down.

Spike shrugged and looked Buffy up and down. "Maybe I will later. Don't want to scare her."

"Not much scares me anymore," Buffy said dryly. "But, you can try," she challenged.

Spike smiled wide, "we got ourselves a saucy one here," he said approvingly.

She giggled again and pointed at him, "he's funny," she told Whistler.

"He's my grandchilde," Angel said wryly.

Buff's eyes widened. "Grandchilde? Is this a family reunion? Is anyone else going to be popping up or is this it?"

Spike laughed, "this is it, kitten."

"Do you have your soul too?"

Spike nodded. "I do."

"Wow." She looked at Whistler. "Is he for me too? I thought I was only getting one. You never said two."

"I was unsure about what I was going to be able to get-" Whistler began.

"Seems you've hit the jackpot, sweet pea." Spike teased.

Buffy giggled again.

"You're staying?" Angel asked.

"Yes I am, Peaches." Spike was smiling at Buffy.

"Oh great," Angel grumbled.

"If you don't like it, you can always leave."

"I was here first. You can leave."

"No!" Buffy burst out. She surprised even herself with that. She chewed her bottom lip and the three of them watched her expectantly. "I mean, why can't you both stay?" She started to fidget. She liked them both so much, felt an instant spark for them and she didn't want to see either of them go. They were both so different; their differences could be beneficial to her. "I know I could use the help and I like you both...could I have you both?" She nervously awaited her answer.

Spike smiled gently at her and gave her a quick nod. "I'd be happy to stay, pet."

"Angel?" She looked up at him, all innocence.

Angel's expression softened and he nodded. "I'll stay."

She smiled brightly. "Great!"

Whistler moved forward and embraced Buffy. "I'm out of here, kid."

Buffy's happy expression changed to one of sadness. "You are?"

"It's time. I did my job. I got you your protectors."

"Where are you going to go?" She asked, a slight whine to her voice.

"I'll be around. Take it easy, kid. You're in good hands now."

Buffy embraced Whistler, "thank you."

"You're going to be all right kid. I have a good feeling about the three of you," with that, he moved out of Buffy's arms and walked away.

She turned to the two vampires, expectantly. "So, what now?"

**End Flashback**

Spike awakened slowly, having the sensation that he hadn't slept that well in a long time. He peered over at Buffy laying next to him and Angel next to her. He smiled. That was why. They were together again, this time, more than family. Things were as they should be. They had their girl, they had each other, and the girl had them.

Angel had surprised Spike when he had approached him about wanting to share Buffy's bed with him. The look on Spike's face had to be comparable to the face Buffy had when she saw them waiting for her.

Angel had just casually shrugged. "Why not? She needs us right now and honestly...I need her too, don't you?"

"Always have."

Angel looked Spike in the eye. "And you Spike. I need you too. You're not just my grandchilde, you haven't been JUST that for a while now. You're my brother...my friend. If anyone is going to be sharing Buffy's bed, I want it to be you. Just you."

Spike had given him a bear hug for that and Angel, not one to show that much affection for him, tentatively hugged him back. Spike wasn't offended; it was just the nature of the beast when it came to their relationship. It was a step in the right direction, especially considering the fact that soon they'd be sharing more than just a hug and a bed.

Later, he'd acted nonchalant when Buffy had joined them, but inside, he was elated. Angel had been a tough nut to crack, but now he was there and willing to give it a go.

It occurred to Spike that Buffy and Angel hadn't really had any time together to talk, to kind of let it settle in on the both of them that there relationship had taken yet another turn. He and Buffy had had plenty of time for that, for a while it had been just the two of them, now Angel was back and Spike wanted to give them that moment together. Crawling out of bed, careful not to wake them, Spike stretched and started for the door.

"Where you going?"

Spike jumped at the voice, not expecting Angel to wake up. He turned around and grinned. "Going to give you some time with her. I reckon you both have some chattin' to do."

Angel blinked and slowly sat up in bed. He shook his head. "You're amazing, Spike. Every day you surprise me, teach me something new. When did you become so wise?"

Spike shrugged, "years of watching you I suppose."

"Don't. Angelus wasn't wise. He was a monster."

"Yeah, he was. But you, Angel isn't. You've got class, Angel, and you've got wisdom. This grown-up, adult, mature thing is new for me...you've been like that for a hell of a lot longer."

"I didn't act like it," Angel muttered.

"Love makes you crazy. I wasn't exactly the best at it either. I'm trying now. For her."

Angel looked down at the sleeping beauty and smiled. "She's something isn't she? She turned a couple of foes into something greater."

"I'd like to think that one day it would have happened on its own."

Angel nodded thoughtfully. "Me too. She just sped up the process."

"Exactly. You know how she is once she gets something in her head."

Angel rolled her eyes, "don't I know it."

Spike smiled. "I'll be watching the telly."

"Thank you Spike. Again."

"No problem. You know me? one day, I'll expect the same in return. Might be generous right now, but you know me, selfish to the core," Spike grinned.

Angel chuckled. "I'll remember that," he said as he slipped back under the covers with Buffy.

********
Angel's eyes popped open and he smiled instantly. Buffy. He was sharing a bed with Buffy. Angel gazed at her, watched her sleep. Her blond hair was falling in her face and he gently pushed it back, running his fingers through her silken tresses. She moaned a bit and curled herself into him, laying a hand on his bare chest. The heat from her hand warmed his skin and he closed his eyes to savor her touch.

"Angel? Are you still sleeping?" Her small voice caused his eyes to snap open.

She was regarding him through lidded eyes and she was now sucking on her bottom lip.

"Morning, sweetheart."

She smiled shyly and bent her head, resting her forehead against his chest.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she replied, her voice slightly muffled. "Just not used to waking up with you right next to me. You usually greet me fully dressed with a mug of blood and the laptop in front of you."

"You make me sound as if I'm a negligent father or something."

She pulled back and looked up at him, wrinkling her nose. "I'm all on board for us being a family again. I tend to get wigged by references to you being like my father though. Where's Spike?"

Her gear shift in the conversation caused him to stumble for a minute, then he got his bearings. "He's watching TV."

She nodded. "Guess what I dreamt of?"

"Kissing me, I hope?"

She giggled, "no, but I'd be happy-"

She never got to finish because Angel covered her mouth with his. He pulled her up closer against him and moved so that he was eye level with her. Brushing her hair with his fingers, he smiled tenderly at her. "So, what were you dreaming of?"

Now it was taking her a minute to get her bearings. The glazed over look in her eyes made Angel smug as he waited patiently for her to continue.

"I dreamt of the first time I met you and Spike."

Angel nodded. "I remember."

"You were so quiet."

Angel smirked, "has much changed?"

Buffy chuckled, then became thoughtful. "Actually, yes. You're different now, you have been for a long time now. I mean, you're still kind of a loner, but not as bad as before."

"Because of you."

"I think it's because you became happy."

"Because of you," Angel insisted.

Buffy smiled, "and my mother. And, maybe even a small part of it had to with Spike."

Angel nodded and ran his hand down from her shoulder to her hip. "Yeah, I can't argue too much with that."

"Even though part of the snarkiness between you two is part of the fun."

"Exactly. Some things will never change."

"I like that. I hate change."

Angel raised an eyebrow and met her eyes. "Not all change is bad. This is a change you know. Not just us, right here, right now. The whole concept is a change."

"That is true. And if memory serves some of us weren't too keen on the change at first."

Angel smirked again, "at first."

"I don't like bad change-"

"No one does, but sometimes it can turn out for the best."

"Still not fond of it."

"You're stubborn, you know that?"

Buffy nodded, smiling brightly. She leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "It's just part of why you love me so much."

Angel grinned lazily, "oh is that it?"

"Spike told me once that he only agreed to meet me because of you."

"Doesn't surprise me."

"What made you decide?"

"I wasn't doing much of anything with my unlife. I was existing, that was pretty much it. I wasn't happy, I wasn't?anything."

Buffy pouted, "that sounds so sad, Angel."

He nodded, "it was. I didn't know it then of course, but after I came here...I knew what was missing."

"Family."

"Love."

"They do go hand in hand."

"You brought me to life. Not many people can make me laugh like you do."

"Don't I know it. And it's hard for even me to get you to laugh sometimes. I love it though, sometimes I just have to keep trying and trying until I can get a laugh out of you."

"You always make me happy though, sweetheart."

Buffy smiled. "I'm glad. Because you know, you make me very happy too. Especially when you actually listen to me and not being such a doofus."

"Hey!" Angel put his hand over his heart in mock hurt.

She laughed, "it's true."

"It took an instant for me to fall in love with you, you know."

"When?"

"When you told me that having a soul must suck."

She laughed, "really? Then?"

He nodded and leaned in to kiss her. "You're so full of life, Buffy. You don't allow me to sit and brood. You've got me constantly on my toes, wondering what you're going to do next. You make me feel like the man that I never was."

"You ARE a man, Angel. I mean, yeah, you're a vampire, but you're a man in your heart and in your soul." She pressed a kiss to his heart and wrapped her body around him, tucking her head under his chin. "I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart, I love you so much. Nothing will ever hurt you again, I promise."

"Can that be something we promise to each other? For all three of us? Because I don't want any more hurting or battles like...you know."

"I know. We take care of each other, it's what we promised to do when we moved in here, and we'll continue to do it."

"Except now there's a lot more love to be going around."

Angel smiled, "definitely."

Chapter 42

Spike smiled as Buffy crawled across the couch and lay down on top of him as he watched TV. She tucked her head under his chin and sighed, content.

"Happy, pet?" He asked as he leisurely stroked her hair.

"Very."

"Everything right as rain with you and Angel?"

"Perfect. Are you okay?" She looked up at him.

"More than okay," he kissed the tip of her nose. "What's Angel doing?"

"Calling that contact he said he had. Spike...can we just stay in here and never leave? I didn't have one nightmare last night and I woke up feeling so rested and happy. I don't want to think about what's going on, about us being the hunted."

"I know, kitten, but it's something we have to deal with. It won't go away and no, we can't hide from it."

"I know we can't," she told him on a sigh. "I was just hoping to put it off as long as possible."

"Why didn't you tell me that you've been having panic attacks?"

"I don't know. I guess I was hoping they'd go away on their own if I just waited it out."

"It's not safe for you to be out there having attacks like that."

She moved off him and they both sat up. "What if I can't be out there anymore? What if I end up having slayaphobia?"

"Slaya-a-what? Oh, I get it. You're not going to be alone, pet. You have me, you have Angel. We can work through this together."

She was frustrated, Spike could tell by the grumble she let out and the way she jumped up from the couch and glared at him. "I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying here, Spike. When I'm out there I have an attack so bad I can't breathe, I can't function. How can I slay when I can't even lift a stake to...stake."

"Do you want to quit?"

She stared down at him for a long time. "No," she finally said. "I can't do that. But... I want to be better. I feel like a nutcase."

"You're not a nutcase, Buffy," Angel said as he strolled in the room.

"Then how do I stop my panic attacks?"

"By going out there and fighting. It's your fear that's crippling you and stopping you from doing it. The only way to get over your fear is

by facing it. We'll be right there with you, Buffy."

Buffy welled up in tears and Spike immediately jumped up to hold her close. "Pet, don't cry."

"What if someone hurts you?" She cried. "What if someone hurts both of you?"

"Don't think like that, it's your fear that's ruling you," Angel told her, coming over and stroking her back.

Abruptly Buffy pulled away from them. She wiped away at her tears. "I just...I need to be alone." She shuffled her feet into her room, leaving Spike and Angel staring after her.

Angel turned to Spike. "There is one way to protect her."

Spike looked up at his elder and instantly knew what he was thinking.

"How do you suppose you're going to propose that to her?"

"Telling her that it would save her life."

"That's a little extreme. It would only save her from getting bit."

Angel shrugged, "at least they would know she wasn't to be touched."

Spike narrowed his eyes, "so, what, you just plan to claim her?"

Angel rolled his eyes, "not just me, you idiot. We can both do it."

Spike sucked in his breath. "You mean that?"

Angel nodded.

"How do you figure we tell her?"

Angel sighed and sat down on the coffee table. "That, I'm not sure about."

Spike ran a hand through his hair. "It's not something we can just do,

obviously. I don't think it's something we can act on quite yet.

That's something for the future."

"I know...I just...I get a little desperate when it comes to her."

Spike sat down next to Angel and patted his back. "I know exactly how you feel. Did you find out anything about the Slayer?"

"Nothing to explain why she's here with her Watcher. Any information I found was found on the internet, and it was minimal. She has to be newly called. All I know is that she's from California."

"Who was this contact you had anyway?"

Angel looked over at Spike sheepishly. "His name is Rupert Giles. He used to be a Watcher some years back in Chicago. He stopped when his Slayer died and moved back to England to work at Council Headquarters. He's not always easy to get a hold of, especially considering I'm a vampire and it IS the Council."

"How the hell did you meet up with a Watcher?"

Angel shrugged, "just one of them things."

"Just one of them-"

"Guys?"

They both looked up to see Buffy standing in the doorway. She took a deep breath. "I'm ready."


*******


"Buffy, you didn't have to do this right away, we could have eased into it," Angel told her as they started their walk into the cemetery.

She shook her head, "no. If I ease my way into it then god only knows how long it'll take before I'm able to do it. I should just...jump-oh my god, there's a vampire."

"Easy, Buffy. He's crawling out of the earth. Stake him quick." Spike pushed her toward the grave.

Buffy nearly stumbled her way over and brought the stake down as its arms flailed about. She missed the target, sucked in a deep breath and staked again. This time, she got it. She stood up and dusted herself off. She looked up at her men, a look of determination on her face.

"This is going to take some time."

Spike nodded and took her hand in his, "it's ok, pet. We've got plenty of time. All the time in the world really."

Both Buffy and Angel groaned at his joke as Angel took her other hand and the three of them stalked through the cemetery.

Buffy focused on her breathing, she just had to remember to breathe.

'One step at a time', she thought to herself.

"You okay, pet?"

She nodded and stared straight ahead. Then she saw them. They all did because the three of them stopped abruptly. Up ahead there was a fight going on. Buffy inhaled deeply, silencing the tremors threatening to erupt in her body. 'I can do this. I HAVE to do this.' She told herself over and over as she propelled her body forward, running.

Spike and Angel tore after her, running ahead of her.

There was a man and a woman fighting off the vampires but all Buffy could see was the vampires. There were six of them. She froze, paralyzed, until she saw one of the vampires kick Spike to the ground and Angel being punched in the face. She snapped then. With a roar, she lunged at the vamp that kicked Spike and punched him dead in the face, sending him to the ground where she plummeted the stake to his chest with lightening speed. Feeling one approach her, and knowing that it wasn't Spike or Angel, she sent her leg back, back kicking it. She spun to see Spike stake it as she caught Angel stake another out of the corner of her eye. She saw the man being attacked from behind, the vampire about ready to sink his fangs in his neck and Buffy ran, plunging the stake into it from behind. She spun, ready for more. Except, there was no more.

She turned back to the attacked man. "Are you all right?" She asked as he coughed. She patted his back.

"He's all right. He tries to fight, he's just not that good at it."

Buffy froze. She knew that voice. She turned her head toward the source. "Faith?"

"Well done, B."

"Wesley?" She heard Angel say.

"Angel," Wesley sounded distressed.

Buffy pointed at Faith. "You're the Slayer aren't you?"

"Always knew you were a smart one, B."

Buffy was shaking now. From anger. "You bitch! What the hell are you doing here? You've been here this whole time and you never said a goddamned word!" Buffy lunged then, seeing red. She started for Faith when Angel and Spike stopped her, grabbing her arms.

"You better start explaining yourself right about now, Wesley!" Angel barked, full vamp face on.

Wesley ran around to face the three, standing beside a smirking Faith.

Buffy had never wanted to rip someone's head off as much as she wanted to rip Faith's off at that moment.

"You see, Miss Buffy, the Council sent us here. They wanted some information on you, they wanted us to investigate you."

"Investigate her? Why?" Spike growled, vamped out as well.

"They heard about you," Wesley darted a quick glance to Angel. "They wanted us to come and see what you were about. How you were surviving, what you could do."

"Do you realize you almost got us killed?" Buffy shouted, pushing at Spike and Angel to release her. They held on fast.

"We're deeply sorry for that," Wesley said, apologetically.

"Sorry? You're sorry!?" Buffy screamed.

"Listen, B. The Slayer is the number one enemy among vampires," she darted a look at Spike and Angel, "without souls. They were bound to follow or at least get their groupies to come. I was following orders."

"Then you can tell the Council to shove it up their ass!" Spike growled.

"Perhaps we could talk more when we're not all so angry," Wesley tried, diplomatically.

"I think it'd be best if you left right now," Angel ground out. He glared daggers at Wesley. "Well be in touch, of that you can be sure."

Taking Faith by the arm, Wesley ignored her protests to have it out with Buffy and he dragged her out of the cemetery.

Angel and Spike released Buffy carefully. They were still in vamp face, a clear indication of how angry they were and Buffy was shaking in her anger. "I'm going to tear her limb from limb. She was here all this time?she tried to get with both of MY vampires and she was the Slayer?this WHOLE time," Buffy rambled loudly. "Because of the Council? The Council who has NEVER had an interest in me before suddenly wants to INVESTIGATE me? How the freaking hell did that skanky ho become the Slayer?"

Angel sighed and his human face came back. "No matter how much we hate it, we are going to have to talk to them."


"Why?" Spike asked, outraged.

"After the hell we've been through, we owe it to ourselves to at least hear them out."

Buffy shook her head, "I don't like it, I don't like it at all. I have a bad feeling about this."

"Come on, let's go home. We've had enough excitement for one night,"

Angel wrapped an arm around her shoulders, attempting to soothe her.

She looked up at Angel. "If she lays a hand on either of you, I'm ripping her head off and shoving it up her ass."

Angel started to laugh. "I might want to see that."

"As a matter of fact, I think I might want to too," Spike said thoughtfully, his human face coming back.

"She's got her head so far up her ass already, might not make much of a difference," Buffy pointed out and Spike and Angel burst out into laughter.