Nusac

Chapter 36
Faith’s POV

Hangovers really suck. Where does B keep the aspirin? That would require movement and probably venturing into the sunlight. Down here in my nice dark basement I can avoid that.

Why did I have to mix my drinks? What exactly did I drink last night? I don’t remember a whole bunch of it. I remember saying Vodka in a Russian accent… a lot, that’s when it starts to get a little fuzzy. I can taste old pizza so we must have gone for pizza. I remember Spike danced… and. I sit bolt upright in my bed which doesn’t help my head ache and distracts me from the disturbing memory for a moment as I push my forehead into my hands.

I feel a hand rubbing small circles on my back. That feels so much better. I look up at Nam as she holds out a glass of water and two little pain pills in her palm. I feel my forehead scrunch in confusion as I throw the aspirin to the back of my throat and gulp down half of my water. “How the hell did you know I needed some aspirin?”

“Aspirin?” It’s still Nam, if she doesn’t know what it’s called. I gesture to the pills I just swallowed and she catches up fast. “Dawn gave me some this morning. Ten minuets my headache was gone. Such magical little things.”

“Yeah… Magical.” There is no way that I’m in the right state of mind to explain everything ‘scientific’ about an aspirin. I will get round to it, just give me a morning will ya? It’s at this point that a really disturbing image filters into my mind. “Did Spike sing last night?”

She just smiles at me. “Do you want me to answer that this early in the morning?” At exactly what point did I become an open book? “We’re all supposed to meet up at the magic shop.” She sounds really beat up about that. She loves that place. She throws me a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, looks like it’s time to get up. ”Do we tell them about Spike last night?”

Then I would not only have to remember it I would actually have to talk about it. “No.” that memory can be safely filed under ‘blackmail’ and left alone until I need it. “Isn’t Dawn in school?”

She tilts her head to the side. “School.”

”Yeah.” How exactly do I explain school to Namine without her wanting to go there and learn everything she can about this world? That would not exactly come under the heading ‘Keeping a low profile.’ “That place she goes like every day.”

She gives me that look to tell me she knows I’m hiding something. Thankfully she lets it slide this once. “She said something about getting sent home.”

“That’s odd.” I mumble to myself. The only time I ever got sent home from school was when we had that bomb scare. Took me three weeks to convince my principle that I didn’t send in that letter. “So Dawn’s upstairs?” Great now I had to deal with her hating me. I have no clue exactly what I did to her back in the day. So it’s not even as if I could apologise and actually mean it.

“Maybe, you two could try and work things out.” That’s my girl always with the keeping the peace.

“Would help if I knew exactly what it is that I’m trying to work out. I know I hurt her sister, that’s probably a big part of it but I have no idea what I did to her.” That night I held Joyce hostage springs to mind and makes a shudder run down my spine.

”Just try talking to her, you know being nice and stuff and don’t call her kid I don’t think she likes it.”

I grunt at the remark but get out of bed and get dressed before reluctantly following Nam up the stairs to find Dawn.

I find her sitting at the kitchen counter with a box of cookies. “Hey.”

She eyes me through her eyebrows before saying a not so friendly “hey.” Back to me.

“What happened at school?” I ask reaching for the box in her hand.

Dawn pulls the box out of my reach. “And I should tell you because…?”

“Just making conversation.” I say pulling myself up on the counter.

“Everyone was singing, they said it could be some huge hallucination thing caused by a bug or something so they sent us all home, I think the teachers we’re all just too scared in case they sang.”

“Thing is it aint no hallucination unless I had the exact same one last night.”

Dawn eyes me again. “You sang?”

I practically burst out laughing. “Sorry to disappoint but no it wasn’t me.” I think for a second if I should tell her who it was… hell if it’s happening all over then it don’t matter if she knows. “It was Spike.”

This time it’s Dawn that laughs. “Spike? Singing? No way.” I nod at her a few times. “That is so freaking funny, I wish I could have been there.”

“Hey how about we head over to the magic box?” I stop for a second when she doesn’t move from her perch. “Buffy might be singing.” With that she practically hurls herself off the counter and beats me to the front door.

The three of us walk to the magic shop, marvelling in all of the musical weirdness that is around us. Just as we round the corner where the magic box is situated I hear a recently familiar voice singing.

”They got the mustard out!” Followed by a chorus of people echoing the same phrase back at him. I look at the guy and see him holding up his red shirt from last night, covered in plastic wrap whilst other people hold up their dry cleaning whilst dancing and some of them even doing cartwheels.

When we get to the door of the magic box we find Buffy holding it open, staring at the mustard guy.

“Hey B.” I say pushing past her before she shuts the door.

“It’s not just us.” Buffy announces to the room.

“Well can we find out what the hell it is cause it’s kinda freaking me out.” I say seating myself at the table.

“I ditto that comment.” Xander comments raising his hand.

“Well G-man it’s time to hit the books.” I say leaning back, putting my feet on the table only to have my legs slapped by Nam.

“Wait a second, I only came here to laugh at Buffy singing I didn’t sign up for research.” Dawn comments trying to back out of the room.

Buffy takes her hand and leads her to the table. “Since you aren’t in school, you can do something useful.”

Giles emphasises the point by putting a rather large and rather old looking book on the table in front of her.

And so the minutes, hours… may even have been years, pass by. All of us searching through the various dusty old books Giles has stocked up on over the years.

I look up at the pile of book that have been thrown on the table, some literally much to Giles and not so surprisingly Nam’s dismay to see Buffy put another fully read book down before she picks up another with a red cover.

“I already did that one B.” I say looking over the top of my current enthralling read.

She looks at me through narrowed eyes before snapping. “Well… which one’s haven’t you done?”

I point at a large yellow book and watch her walk away to her chair.

“This one is really fascinating!” Nam says with a grin as she sits down next to me.

“Yeah I bet.” Sarcasm drips from my tongue.

“What is the matter with you today? You have been angry with me all day, what have I done?” Nam asks pushing her dirty blonde hair behind her left ear.

I close my eyes and take a small breath. “Nothing… I’m just not in the best mood.”

“I could have told you that, but why?”

I get up not answering her and walk to the back room to get away from all the tension. I am of course followed, as always.

“Please Faith.”

I run my hand through my hair. “Them…” I say motioning towards the shop. “One minute I’m good old Faith the long lost friend and the next I’m Faith the Angel and would be Buffy killer.” I let my hand slip down to my side. “I just want to know where I stand, who I am so that I can act the way I’m meant to but I don’t know how I am meant to.”

“You don’t need to act a certain way, you are Faith you must act like Faith.”

I blow out air through my nose and walk back into the shop where I find everyone looking up from their books at me for a split second.

I spin around catching Namine off guard. “And I don’t know how to be around you either.” I don’t know where the hell that came from, I just blurted it out.

Nam looks at me offended. “You already know the answer to that, and it isn’t like this!” Nam goes to walk away but I reach out and hold her arm to stop her leaving.

A soft single guitar playing a simple tune fills the air, I look around realising what is about to happen and see everyone looking around at each other shaking their heads.

My hand traces down Nam’s arm until only our fingers are touching. ”I’m not right, and I’m not fine, I wonna be rain that tastes like wine, I wonna be good, I wonna be great, I wonna be everything except for your mistake.”

I small instrumental follows the first part of the song, I cant seem to hold it in. My body is even betraying me. If I could I would run out of the shop so no one could hear but no here I am routed to the spot holding one of Namine’s fingers between two of my own.

I glance around frantically but as soon as my mouth opens and more song lyrics come out I am staring right into Namine’s blue eyes.

“Suddenly inside, your mind, I wonna know what your thinking,” As I sing I gently cup Nam’s head between my two hands.“This time, I’ll try to be the one you always thought you knew, it’s true, I’m blue.” I let go of her head and take a step back. “And without you, I’m not right, I’m not fine I wonna be rain that tastes like wine, I wonna be good, I wonna be great, I wonna be everything except for your mistake.

I hold my position not daring to look around me to see everyone watching. I lean my head forward so mine and Nam’s foreheads are resting against each other but nothing else is touching. ”Let me into, your view, I wonna know how you see this thing, that’s us, I must, keep managing my madness over you, it’s true, I’m blue.”

With that I push myself away from her and start to turn up the volume on my voice. ”And without you I’m not right, I’m not fine. I wonna be rain that tastes like wine, I wonna be good I wonna be good, I wonna be great, I wonna be everything except for your mistake.”

I have walked a few steps away from her during that chorus and the long note at the end. As I sing the next few lines I walk slowly towards her. ”And I don’t want your sympathy, just understanding,” I look down at my feet and then back up to her face before I blurt out the next line. ”We’d be better off if I just took some time to try to understand you.”

A guitar solo out of the air distracts me for a second. ”I’m not right, I’m not fine, I wonna be rain that tastes like wine, I wonna be good, I wonna be great, I wonna be everything except for your mistake.”

I again lock eyes with the blonde as I sing. “I’m not right, I’m not fine, I wonna be rain that tastes like wine, I wonna be seen, I wonna get clean, I wonna just fall down off in-between.”

I keep the eye lock going as I finish the song. “I’m not right. I shake my head as I sing. I’m not right. I then go back to my start position, holding onto Nam’s hand as I sing the last line. ”I don’t wonna be your mistake.”