Truth Denied
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
64
Views:
22,798
Reviews:
75
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
64
Views:
22,798
Reviews:
75
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 35
Spike poured himself a scotch on the rocks while Xander got a diet Coke from the fridge. They sat at the dining table, their minds whirling with everything that had happened in such short order. They sipped their drinks in companionable silence for a while, until Spike started fiddling with his swizzle stick as his old nicotine habit nudged him again.
“What’re we gonna do?” Xander asked.
“Dunno.” Spike answered.
“We can’t leave it up to the cops anymore, Spike,” Xander said softly.
“I know,” Spike said, looking down.
“So what do we do?”
“Dunno…” He repeated, letting out a long sigh.
“Look… if… if you're willing,” Xander swallowed dryly then remembered his Coke. He took a sip then spoke again. “I still have the…uh, number.”
“What?” Spike looked up at him sharply
“The number. For the s-slayers. I gotta l-leave then. They can’t find me. I can't let them,” he murmured, looking down, his shaggy hair covering his eyes. “I’m sorry, this has to be dealt with. They’re the best at it. They know how to take care of all kinds of baddies and keep… keep the humans safe. Just don’t… don’t tell them where you got the number, okay?” His voice cracked. He got up and turned in the direction of the hall, but Spike caught his wrist.
“Don’t want you to go,” he said hoarsely.
“I have to. We've got no choice.” Tears sprang to his eyes and started to roll down his cheeks. He couldn’t even say why this was so traumatic for him. Yes he could, Spike was his first real friend in a long while… the first person he’d been able to be honest with. And now he had to run again, keeping to himself, working just enough to get by, unless it wasn't enough to get by... again. The desperation scared him. What he'd felt, just a short while ago, willing to do almost anything… and maybe next time he'd be even more willing…. He shuddered.
“Xan….” Spike couldn’t think of what to say, what would keep him. Well he could, but he’d only said that to three people: one woman who was barking mad, another who didn’t believe him… and Keiran…. Was he ready to even think that with anyone else? Especially him? After everything?
Xander wiped his face with his free hand and pulled away. He went to the land line and picked up the pen there. He scribbled on the pad. “Ask for Andrew. You knew him, so it’ll make sense you’re asking for him.” His voice was husky. Spike would have given anything for that huskiness to have been because of him, not because of this, never because of this! Xander cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. “He knows you. Just… don’t mention me, please.” Then he went into his room to pack.
Spike stared dumbfounded at the wall that separated them. He ran into his office and slammed the door shut, reveling in the darkness within, the only comfort now granted to him. He crashed into his armchair to sobbing. His insides felt like they were being ripped out of him through his throat. He hugged his pillow to his chest, trying to think of any way to keep his Xander from leaving him, anything, but all he could think of was the promise he’d made to keep him safe, and that this was as safe as he could make him.
He screamed his pain in his sound proofed room, and knew no one would ever share it.
“What’re we gonna do?” Xander asked.
“Dunno.” Spike answered.
“We can’t leave it up to the cops anymore, Spike,” Xander said softly.
“I know,” Spike said, looking down.
“So what do we do?”
“Dunno…” He repeated, letting out a long sigh.
“Look… if… if you're willing,” Xander swallowed dryly then remembered his Coke. He took a sip then spoke again. “I still have the…uh, number.”
“What?” Spike looked up at him sharply
“The number. For the s-slayers. I gotta l-leave then. They can’t find me. I can't let them,” he murmured, looking down, his shaggy hair covering his eyes. “I’m sorry, this has to be dealt with. They’re the best at it. They know how to take care of all kinds of baddies and keep… keep the humans safe. Just don’t… don’t tell them where you got the number, okay?” His voice cracked. He got up and turned in the direction of the hall, but Spike caught his wrist.
“Don’t want you to go,” he said hoarsely.
“I have to. We've got no choice.” Tears sprang to his eyes and started to roll down his cheeks. He couldn’t even say why this was so traumatic for him. Yes he could, Spike was his first real friend in a long while… the first person he’d been able to be honest with. And now he had to run again, keeping to himself, working just enough to get by, unless it wasn't enough to get by... again. The desperation scared him. What he'd felt, just a short while ago, willing to do almost anything… and maybe next time he'd be even more willing…. He shuddered.
“Xan….” Spike couldn’t think of what to say, what would keep him. Well he could, but he’d only said that to three people: one woman who was barking mad, another who didn’t believe him… and Keiran…. Was he ready to even think that with anyone else? Especially him? After everything?
Xander wiped his face with his free hand and pulled away. He went to the land line and picked up the pen there. He scribbled on the pad. “Ask for Andrew. You knew him, so it’ll make sense you’re asking for him.” His voice was husky. Spike would have given anything for that huskiness to have been because of him, not because of this, never because of this! Xander cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. “He knows you. Just… don’t mention me, please.” Then he went into his room to pack.
Spike stared dumbfounded at the wall that separated them. He ran into his office and slammed the door shut, reveling in the darkness within, the only comfort now granted to him. He crashed into his armchair to sobbing. His insides felt like they were being ripped out of him through his throat. He hugged his pillow to his chest, trying to think of any way to keep his Xander from leaving him, anything, but all he could think of was the promise he’d made to keep him safe, and that this was as safe as he could make him.
He screamed his pain in his sound proofed room, and knew no one would ever share it.