All I Need...

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Part 35

It was only pure luck that Fran’s initial stake missed its mark.

Luck and the sudden although somehow still hesitant slim hand that darted out and caught it a mere three inches or so from its target.

“What the..? Fran!” Dawn yelped, stepping quickly in front of the girl and staring at her, wide-eyed, “That’s Angel! We don’t… stake him! He’s… Giles would be so pissed at you! Not to mention… Buffy? Pffft! Kill you dead.”

The young Slayer shook her head stubbornly, pushing the taller brunette out of her way and reaching for another stake, this one in her jacket pocket. “You didn’t hear what he was saying when we walked in, Dawn. I agree that he appears to be the Angel we’ve all heard of,” ‘been warned of’, she added silently, “but I don’t really think a vampire with a soul would be discussing the best methods of… raping Xander. And certainly not with… whatever the hell she is.”

Illyria cocked her head, giving the newly arrived girls a dispassionate stare. “You stink of death,” she said calmly to the shorter of the two. “Death and resignation. I do not like this stench. It is offensive and you will stop. Now.”

Her stony gaze moved to the other female and a small frown creased her brow. “Old One. I did not believe it was time. But you are here and that would imply that the time is indeed at hand. I will assist you in whatever manner you deem necessary, although my abilities are limited as long as I am trapped within this shell.”

“Uh… Angel?” Dawn nearly squeaked, the woman’s intent stare sending small, purely imaginary spiders skittering up and down her spine, “Make her stop?”

Angelus growled as he felt the soul swarming up, taking control again. “Fuck!” he managed to snarl, even as he was yanked back, his leash tied again to the wall of his immaterial prison.

Angel blinked slowly then took one shuddering breath, his eyes finding the stake in Illyria’s hand. “Shit,” he muttered, “that bastard almost got me killed!”

For her part, Fran was confused at the suddenly less imperative need to slay the big, roughly-hewn vampire. He’d obviously been a threat when she and Dawn had first entered. She’d felt it bone-deep and even on her skin. But now… it was as though he’d somehow pulled an insulating layer of… something… over himself. Her ‘Slayer-sense’, as the other SiTs called it, was barely twinging at all. “No,” she muttered after a moment, “Your… was that your demon? Your demon almost got you killed.” ‘And still could,’ she vowed mentally. There was something worrisome in the strength of the pure evil she’d sensed within the vampire at first.

“I must inform you of my intention to leave this place, Angel,” Illyria said bluntly, still staring at the taller of the young women. “I will be needed in the coming redemption. The Old One will see to it that I am returned to my former glory and removed from this pitiful existence.”

“Angel!” Dawn yelped again, “Please! Make her stop! It’s… creepy. And weird!”

And while Angel had never grown as attached to Dawn as Spike had done, he couldn’t resist that hopeful and somewhat helpless tone in her voice… not to mention the disturbed pout she was throwing his way.

“Fine,” he said, answering the Hell God in Fred’s form, “You can start the leaving by getting out of my office and letting me talk to the… Old One. Why don’t you start packing for wherever it is you think you’re going?”

He still couldn’t believe Angelus and Illyria had been talking about raping Spike’s… Harris. The submission only counted if it was willing, just as he’d reminded his Childe of not so long ago. Then again, it was Angelus he was talking—thinking—about. Hell, his demon would do it just because they wanted the man. Assuming, of course, the demon could find some way to keep Spike from finding out, and…

“What? Sorry, I was…”

“Being incredibly useless and not even saying hi?” Dawn offered quickly, “Yeah. Kinda got that part.” She smiled, relieved when the scary blue-tinged woman stalked towards the door.

“Hold it,” Fran ordered, stepping in front of the… whatever she was… and holding out one hand. “I’d like my stake back, if you don’t mind.” She smiled slightly and tilted her head just a bit. “Actually, I’d like it back even if you do mind. It’s rather necessary if I’m going to protect Dawn. I mean, ‘the Old One’.”

Empty blue eyes met lively but hard brown and Illyria nodded sharply before slapping the item in question into the open palm. “”You still reek of death,” she stated coldly, “but as you act as the Old One’s protector, that is reasonable.” It was the most approval she’d shown to a human since… ever.

“Interesting people you’ve got around here… Angel,” Fran said softly, meeting depressed brown eyes. “Of course, in this case, I’m using the word ‘people’ rather loosely.”

Dawn’s eyes rolled at both vampire and Slayer. “Okay, can I just once take a vacation and not have it end up being all… freaky? Who was that and what was all that ‘Old One’ stuff? I mean, I’m twenty, for fuck’s sake, and you’re like…” She looked at Angel. “Two hundred and fifty-something? How am I the ‘Old One’?”

Angel couldn’t help laughing at the offended look on the girl’s face, although he was a good bit surprised when the unknown Slayer joined in with him.

“You know, Dawn,” he heard himself saying as he gave the girl a highly amused grin, “I remember when you wanted people to think you were older.”

Fran slowly slipped her stakes back into their usual spots, giving the vampire an appraising stare. “You know,” she said consideringly to Dawn, not bothering to lower her voice since the vamp would hear her anyway, “when he’s laughing like this, I can almost understand what your sister saw in him.”

And that was sobering for Angel, though Angelus was admiring the girl’s streak of cruelty and appreciating the fact that she was yet another dark-haired beauty… much like Xander Harris.

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~From: Watcher Man
~To: Dark Avenger
~Subject: Research

Angel,

I’m sorry to inform you that I haven’t had any luck in finding information regarding your problem, although I have made a bit more headway with regards to searching since a… distraction has been removed.

Bloody hell.

Alright, I am trying to be professional, Angel, but you must understand that this is difficult for me.

I truly don’t trust you, and frankly, I don’t particularly care for you, but you know that, and I believe you understand the reasons behind it.

They say that as one grows older, they experience a desire to give and receive forgiveness, but I haven’t found that to be the case.

In fact, as the years go by, sometimes flying and sometimes creeping so slowly that I’m amazed not to grow younger, I find myself wondering what could have been.

Where would I be now, Angel, if you hadn’t killed Jenny?

Would I be happily married, dandling a child or two on my knee? Would I be waking with the dawn, excited to discover what the new day might bring for myself and my family?

Maybe.

And perhaps not.

But I’ll never know, will I?

I’ll never know what might have happened, never know whether what I was feeling for her was truly love or merely… infatuation and appreciation.

We were so different, she and I, and yet… there was something there. Something… rich and bright and beautiful.

And I’ll never know what it was. Never know what it could have been.

And that’s because of you, Angel. Angelus.

Whichever.

I’m simply glad that you never managed to destroy any of my children, though it was not for lack of trying and you came close with Buffy. You almost ruined her heart and for a Slayer, that would have been fatal.

And yet I know you loved her.

You knew she would likely die young, and still you gave yourself—your heart—into her keeping.

I need to ask, Angel. How did you do it?

How did you look at her—so young and beautiful and innocent and doomed—and decide that it was alright? That the pain and heartache you’d feel when she died wasn’t something to avoid?

How did you see her and know she was far too young for you… and still let yourself want her?

Did… did you ever feel like a perverted old man, Angel? Like there was something wrong and filthy and just… bad in you when you looked at her and wanted to touch her?

Bloody hell.

Did you ever ask yourself whether loving her was wrong? Or did you console yourself with the notion that as a Slayer, she was likely to die young anyway, and… if you loved her—in every sense of the word—then at least she’d have known what it was to be loved? Even though she was a child, compared to you?

Oddly enough, I’m not asking any of this to hurt you. I know it seems unlikely, but I truly am not. I… have my reasons, alright?

Sorry. I seem to have gone off on a tangent. Back to the topic at hand.

I’ll see whether I can find anything in the rare documents vault that might help with your problem, Angel.

I will update you on whatever I find in the next few days but as it is nearly five in the morning here, I believe I’ll be going.

Good night.

~Giles

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Giles groaned, dragging his glasses down his nose and frowning when one of the arms caught in his nostril.

“Bloody stupid… glasses,” he muttered, frowning at himself when placing them on the desk somehow knocked the nearly empty fifth of whiskey onto the floor. “Bloody… stupid… bottle…” he mumbled, the words slurring together even as his head dropped to the desk, his cheek hitting the ‘enter’ key as he passed out, the phrase ‘I don’t miss her, I don’t miss her’ running in a loop through his mind.

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Spike chuckled as the banging on his door continued, even after he’d hollered out that he’d be right there.

He squirmed again, finally managing to get himself out of his Primal’s tight grip, meeting Xander’s annoyed but still amused growl with a grin.

“Sorry, luv. Can’t keep th’ Bit waitin’, can I?”

Xander blinked, then quickly rolled from the bed and snatched a pair of jeans from the floor, struggling to pull them on before realizing they were Spike’s. “Shit!” he groaned, fighting to get them off again as his vampire smoothly finished dressing and blew him a kiss before striding out of the bedroom to answer the increasingly violent knocks.

“Damned graceful vampire,” he muttered affectionately as he untangled his feet from the too-small pants and pulled some sweats from a drawer, tugging them on along with a t-shirt before following after the blond.

Fortunately for Spike and Dawn, the vampire had been expecting to be bowled over as soon as he opened the door; thus he was braced for the tall, slender—but curvy, Gods help him—missile that launched itself at him and they didn’t end up on the floor.

Instead, he caught the girl, swinging her around wildly as he heard his love come out of the bedroom, presumably dressed, although Spike wouldn’t have cared much if Dawn had seen his Xan naked… Xander was his, after all, and the girl knew it just as much as his bloke did.

“Nibblet!” he answered her shrieking, excited greeting, “Bloody hell, luv, you’ve grown!”

Fran rolled her eyes and stepped through the doorway, carefully avoiding the whirligig of blond and brunette. “Imagine that,” she muttered. “A human girl growing in two years. How… unusual.”

Xander laughed and shook his head at the sight of his love and Dawn. “I know,” he said with a grin, waving the Slayer over for their own less energetic greeting, although there was still a tight hug involved. “Maybe she’s a demon?” he chuckled playfully.

“What are you doing here, Fran?” he said after a moment, releasing the girl enough to straighten and meet her eyes. “Last I heard, you were… not going to Essex?”

Fran arched a brow at him and shook her head, mouthing ‘later’ while she nodded at the still giddy vampire and human girl.

Xander nodded in return, more than willing to put off what seemed like a sore subject. For a while, anyway. Until after his vampire had calmed a bit, though that might take a good amount of time, considering Spike had just been reunited with the girl he’d thought of as his own sister for years, now.

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A/N: Many thanks, as always, to those who took the time to review. This time, it's TheShadowCat, Littlest Coyote, dmalfoy, AKS & Strife. :) Adore the FB, guys, and hope you liked this (plot-heavy) part.

RL has been a stone bitch of late. Thus the lack of speed with the updates.

My apologies, and thanks for bearing with me! *huge grin*)