Damned if I don't, damned if I do.

Thanks for all the reviews and again sorry updates are taking so long. I'm splitting this chapter into 3 sections because its so darn long, and the next chapter will be up soon, no I promise.

The chapter title was inspired by a Savage Garden song.

Chapter 35-a.


“Oh this is bad.” Buffy pulled a face as she stood on the very edge of the crowded common with Faith. She raised her hand in an awkward answering wave to Toni as she watched the stunning Italian get to her knees on a blue and white chequered blanket, waving freely. Did she have to be so happy to see her?

Faith nodded, “Yeah.” And then she was striding away from Buffy towards Toni, Troy and their friends.

What, that was it? Weren’t they going to corroborate stories or at least come up with a reason why they were arriving scruffy and dishevelled to the town’s Annual Easter Picnic…together?

“Faith.” Buffy trotted after her, picking her way through the multitude of multicoloured blankets scattered over the common. “Wait a minute. We need to…”

Faith either didn’t hear her above the general chatter of the crowded common, or she was ignoring Buffy.

They were a third of the way across the common now and everyone Buffy held near and dear, and Troy, were sitting on the other side of the large, usually deserted, open ground behind the town.

Buffy followed the route Faith picked out between the blankets and wished she would slow down. Why were they rushing to their doom anyway? She ran a hand through her wildly messy hair as she stared at the flap of denim fluttering in the breeze that had once been Faith’s back pocket. They were a mess and everyone else around them seemed to be dressed in their Sunday best as if they’d all come straight here from church. Which, with it being Easter Sunday and all, was totally possible.

Buffy reached out in a quick motion and, grabbing the flap of pocket, she pulled it hard, ripping it straight from the seat of Faith’s pants.

“What the fuck?” Faith turned angrily to stare at Buffy. They both noticed the critical hush that descended over the closest of their fellow picnic-ers – many of which were either over sixty or under ten. Faith looked around uncomfortably, before adding, “I mean, what the heck?”

Buffy held the flap of pocket up sheepishly. “I thought no pocket was better than broken pocket.”

Faith huffed in amusement, turned and set off again, “Come on.”

“Faith hang on.” Buffy started to tuck the flap of denim into the pocket of her sweatpants, but decided the evidence might later prove to be incriminating. She dropped it to the ground instead where it lay on the grass like a miniature version of the other picnic blankets. “Don’t you want to stop a minute and work out what we’re going to say?”

“And the longer we stand here in the middle of everything, conferring, the more suspicious they’re going to become.” Faith waved a hand in the direction of their friends and partners.

Faith was right, but it didn’t stop Buffy’s guilty feet from wanting to turn and run towards the big bouncy castle she could see. Bouncing into the orange depths of the inflatable fortress and hiding there seemed like the only sensible course of action.

In front of them, Troy had turned from talking to Giles to gaze lovingly at Faith and Toni had stood to greet Buffy, her smile warm and eager.

“I can’t kiss her in front of all these people,” Buffy muttered to herself, quaking inside at the thought of everyone’s attention on her and her girlfriend while they kissed hello.

“Way to be out and proud, B.” Faith laughed, looking around at her. “And while we’re on the subject of kissing girls – your lipstick is a little smudged. Well, when I say a little…”

“I’m not wearing lipstick,” Buffy frowned. “I had to leave the house too early to worry about make up.” She touched a hand to her lips as she spoke.

“Even more reason to wipe the crimson berry off them now then,” Faith pointed out, still chuckling. “And I’d do it quick if I were you.”

“Oh… crap!” Buffy scrubbed the back of her hand across her lips as subtly as she could, pretending to look around and take everything in. There were a lot of people there. Everyone who lived in the small town must have come and they must have all brought guests from out of town. “Is that better?” she asked.

Faith turned her head again quickly to look. “Yeah.”

Buffy ran her nervous hand through her hair again, pulling free some tangles as they made their way closer and closer to the big chequered blue and white blanket of doom. “Have you at least got a plan to get us through this?”

“Yeah,” Faith turned her head enough to wink. “It’s called: Follow your lead.”

“Hey, that’s not fair,” Buffy hissed at her angrily.

It was too late for Faith to answer so she settled for giving Buffy a grin as she dropped to her knees next to Troy and gave him a fleeting kiss on the lips.

“What is not fair?” Toni asked, looking between Buffy and Faith with a small bemused smile.

“Oh…um…nothing.” Buffy smiled guiltily at her girlfriend.

Her guilt grew as Toni leaned in to peck her on the lips and Buffy leaned back to avoid it. A hurt look flashed across Toni’s face quickly followed by a flash of anger as her eyes flicked over to Faith.

“We were meeting at one, si? What happened to delay you?” she asked, looking at Buffy again.

The question sounded amiable enough, but Buffy wasn’t sure she could trust that.

“I was out jogging and I… twisted my ankle.” She hadn’t put any thought into that answer; she’d just said the first excuse that came into her head. She was thankful that she was at least dressed for jogging, making the lie a little easier to swallow. “I had to hobble back really slowly,” she continued. “Didn’t know I was walking quite that slowly though.” She forced a chuckle out. “Have you been here long?”

“A while.” Toni looked down at her ankles. “Which one did you hurt?”

‘Eenie meanie miney mo…’

“My left one.” Buffy lifted it a little, when she put it back down on the grass she made sure to keep all of her weight on her right leg. “It’s feeling a bit better now.”

“I guess that counts you out of the egg and spoon race and we were relying on you for a Scooby victory against the townsfolk.” Xander was lying on his side on the blanket with his head propped up on one elbow; his girlfriend Melissa, the fawn-haired carpenter, sat behind him with her hands resting on his hip.

“Egg and spoon?” Buffy asked, but gazing around she saw what he meant. On one side of the common there were no picnic blankets and a starting line and finishing line had been established using bright orange traffic pylons. Some kids were already racing each other up and down.

“So Faith, did you join Buffy on her jog?” Toni asked pleasantly.

“Something like that,” Faith nodded. Buffy inwardly groaned.

“You went jogging in the same clothes you wore clubbing last night? Were they not uncomfortable?”

Buffy jumped in before Faith could say anything to make it worse. “Faith wasn’t jogging with me, we just bumped into each other a few minutes ago.” Faith could follow that lead and come up with her own excuse for where she had been all morning. “Hang on, how do you know what Faith was wearing last night? Did you two see each other?”

“Troy telephoned me yesterday evening after you had left and when he realised I was spending the evening alone, he invited me to join Faith and he.” Toni explained.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Buffy asked Faith.

“Haven’t had a chance yet, what with only bumping into you a few minutes ago and you complaining about your bad ankle constantly.” Faith shrugged. “Sorry.”

She didn’t sound sorry to Buffy, but then that might have been because she was lying through her teeth.

“So what have you been doing all morning, Faith? You look very exhausted.” Toni wasn’t letting up on the passive-aggressive pleasantries and Buffy was worried that Faith would get bored with the lying and blurt out something along the lines of “I was eating your girlfriend” just to see the look on the Italian’s face.

Buffy didn’t want to see that look.

Weighing up the pros against the cons, Buffy crossed her fingers behind her back that no one was looking, and kissed Toni ‘hello.’

She made it a long hello, only relenting when she heard a woman saying conversationally, “Oh my goodness, that’s two women over there, Frank.” There was a male grunt in reply and then the woman added, “Little Stevie, cover your eyes!”

Buffy, blushing, pulled back and took a quick look around them. Her friends were snickering at the shocked faces of some of the other picnic-ers, except Faith who had ignored the show and was talking quietly with Troy. Of the townsfolk, aside from the handful of shocked faces, most people just looked mildly amused at her embarrassment.

Buffy looked back at Toni, smiling a little. “Now that I have your undivided attention, I’m glad you came today even though I wasn’t there to meet you.”

Toni nodded, smiling too, all thought of Faith apparently forgotten. Buffy wished she could say the same for herself. “You must take the weight off of your ankle.”

Toni moved out of the way, giving Buffy room to sit down, and then she sat down next to her and gently picked up Buffy’s left foot. “Does it still hurt?”

“It’s not very comfortable, but it’s better than it was a couple of hours ago that’s for sure.” Buffy lied, pleased her girlfriend was studying Business and not Medicine.

“It is not too swollen.” Toni said. Taking off Buffy’s sneaker, she began to softly rub the ankle.

“No, I heal pretty quickly – it’s a family blessing.” She saw Faith roll her eyes over the big wicker picnic basket sat between them.

“So what’s in the basket?” she asked, keeping her eyes away from Faith.

“You name it, we got it,” Willow promised. “Of course it would have been better had you been around to fix it, but you couldn’t because you were out… jogging, and so we had to rely on Andrew, who…who did a good job.” She rewarded the young blonde man a bright smile for all his hard work.

“It’s okay Willow, I know I’m not a Master Chef like Buffy, but my Funnel cakes kick her Funnel cakes asses all around the kitchen.” Andrew finished smugly; he was sitting cross-legged in a corner of the blanket between Giles and Dawn’s boyfriend, Christian.

Obviously no one had worked out yet that most of their meals came out of little plastic microwavable trays. “I’ve never made a Funnel cake,” Buffy told him, slightly amused.

“Maybe not, but that’s only because you’re intimidated by my incredible pastry skills.” Andrew insisted.

“Okay,” Buffy shrugged. “So do you have any Funnel cakes in the basket?” Her stomach was still protesting its hunger. She hoped Toni couldn’t hear the totally gross gurgling coming from it.

“As a matter of fact.” Andrew beamed as he got to his knees to look through the basket. His face dropped, “Hey who ate all my Funnel cakes?”

Giles, who had been quiet after his initial greeting, swallowed loudly, brushing crumbs from his hands. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware we were supposed to be saving any. I thought it best to finish them off before they went cold.” He wiped at his mouth with his handkerchief, hiding his smile.

“Well were they as good as Andy’s making out?” Faith asked.

“Oh yes, quite superb. Excellent job Andrew.”

Buffy pouted at her Watcher. “What is it with you and pastries, Giles?” she asked. He’d always been the first in the doughnut box; well, second after Xander who got first dibs for making the run.

Giles smiled at her. “I believe there are still sandwiches, and Andrew cut up rather a lot of fruit.”

Buffy didn’t feel like sandwiches or fruit, she needed something more satisfying, something she could really sink her teeth into.

“I need something real, ya know.” Faith said before Buffy could say anything. “I’m going to the rib shack over there.” She pointed behind them to where a large barbeque grill had been set up; Buffy had wondered where the yummy smell was coming from. “You coming B?” Faith asked as she bounced up to her feet.

Buffy’s mouth watered at the prospect, but... “No, I think a sandwich will be enough for me.” She smiled at Toni, who was still massaging her completely fine ankle.

“Okay,” Faith walked off towards the grill area.

Buffy glanced quickly at her retreating back as her stomach let out a particularly lengthy gurgle. Toni looked at her tummy and then back up to her face, mildly horrified and Buffy gave a strained grin. “Sandwich, now, please!”

***

Six peanut butter and jelly sandwiches later and a handful of Faith’s fries, subtly stolen while neither Faith nor Toni were looking; the hunger was starting to wane.

The awkwardness in her gut wasn’t. Everyone else seemed to be in wicked high spirits too, which only seemed to highlight Buffy’s less than lofty mood. She wasn’t sulking, oh no; she knew she had no right in the world to be sulking, but there was too much going on in her head for her to settle and enjoy the Easter Picnic.

What had happened between her and Faith that morning?

Did Toni really believe that they had arrived together by coincidence, or was the previous ankle-rubbing just the prelude to a clever revenge plan?

Why had Faith not told her she had spent the evening before with Toni?

And what exactly did Faith see in Troy anyway?

Buffy frowned as the young Greek simultaneously stroked Faith’s hair and carried on a conversation with Willow about Italian archaeology. Toni had joined the conversation too, and Buffy was pretending she was interested by nodding when everyone else did and saying “Mmm.” a lot.

Faith was lying on her tummy in front of Troy playing Uno with Xander, Melissa, and Andrew. Troy stroking her hair like a favourite dog didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest; in fact, when he stopped to emphasise a point with some hand gestures, she head-butted his knee lightly, smiling, until he continued.

Buffy had some hand gestures for him.

Giles was sitting a few blankets away, talking to some locals. Buffy wanted to get him alone and ask him a few questions about their Easter Bunny, obviously leaving out all of the sex-details. She’d already decided that if she couldn’t get around mentioning the affect the demon had had on them, she would just say they were strong enough not to give in to it. She didn’t want to come out and say she needed to speak to him though, because Faith and Kennedy would instantly get interested. Right now, she wanted to have as little contact with Faith as possible and she certainly didn’t want Kennedy knowing anything about it at all.

Buffy wondered what was going through Faith’s mind right now. She seemed to be completely engrossed with the card game and the stroking, but surely inside she wasn’t as calm as she looked.

The feelings of intense horniness had left Buffy the second Faith had taken back her proclamation of love, bringing her crashing down to earth in a gut wrenchingly painful way. However, even now a couple of hours later and with her girlfriend sat by her side, Buffy could still remember every single touch and kiss that they had shared. Surely Faith could too, so why wasn’t she going as insane as Buffy felt?

“Anyone know where Dawn went?” Buffy asked, suddenly realising her sister and Christian were no longer sitting with them.

“Bouncy castle,” said Kennedy without taking her eyes from the course text book she was reading. “Why don’t you go and join them if you’re bored?”

Toni instantly turned her head to Buffy in concern.

“I’m not bored,” Buffy assured her. “I just don’t quite get the fascination of little stone huts that were built five hundred years ago.” She shrugged apologetically.

“It was fifteen hundred years ago,” Troy corrected her with a smile that grated her nerves.

“You said five hundred a minute ago.” Buffy argued.

“Yeah but he meant five hundred as in the year five hundred.” Willow helpfully explained. “As in the beginning of the sixth century.”

“Oh, right, sorry. You’re right, that does make it more interesting,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “My bad.”

Toni gave her a quizzical look.

“You wanna play Uno, B?”

“No thanks, F.”

“Why do you always refer to each other with your first initials?” Toni asked, taking Buffy’s hand.

“We don’t. Not always. And anyway, she started it.” Buffy squeezed Toni’s hand gently. Toni looked at Faith for an explanation.

“It’s a term of whatdoyoucallit . . .?”

“Endearment?” offered Willow, being too helpful now.

“Yeah that,” said Faith, twisting her neck to grin cockily at Toni. “Sets us apart from the crowd.”

“I see,” Toni paused like she was thinking about something.

“Got something else to say, Tone?” Faith asked casually.

“Don’t call her Tone!” Buffy muttered, fearing where this conversation was going. Should she kiss Toni again? It had certainly changed the flow of the conversation last time.

“No, il vostro tempo verrà.” Toni smiled.

“Sorry Tone, don’t speak Italian – Took me a week to learn how to say ‘hey’ in Greek. What did you say?”

“I said ‘I miss my friends’. I have been feeling homesick and seeing the two of you such good friends, it makes me think of the people I left in Italy.” Toni cast her eyes to the blanket, a sad smile gracing her gorgeous lips.

Buffy didn’t know what to say. She’d never thought about Toni being homesick or missing her family. She put her arm around her girlfriend now, pulling her in close, determined later to make it up to her. Boy did she have a lot to make up to her. But she’d start with this.

It made sense now why Toni had gone out with Troy and Faith the night before. She knew Toni had friends in college, but she had thought she was going to be spending Saturday night with Buffy right up until the last minute and probably all of her on-campus friends already had plans on date-night.

Kissing Toni lightly on the cheek, Buffy vowed to be a better girlfriend in future. Maybe next weekend they could go to an Italian restaurant in Cleveland? She knew how lame that sounded, but it was a start; she could come up with better ideas later.

“So how do you say ‘Hey’ in Greek, Faith?” Xander asked with a grin.

“Yiassou.” Faith didn’t even look up, but Buffy could see the self-impressed smirk on her face.

Troy leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head. “By this time tomorrow you will be able to say much more than ‘Hey’ in Italian,” he promised her.

“I can speak Italian,” Buffy piped up, even Toni sat up to look at her in amusement. “I can.”

“I am sorry Buffy, please, how do say ‘Hey’ in Italian?” Troy asked her, his eyes twinkling.

Buffy saw the trap she’d set for herself and bit her lip, but with everyone watching she had to continue. “Ciao.”

“How long did it take you to learn that one, Buffy?” Kennedy asked as everyone’s expectant faces relaxed into grins.

“I know more than that,” Buffy defended herself. “I know Arriveiderci and Gucci and cappuccino…” she trailed off with a groan. “Languages are not my thing, okay, but…but Faith’s running away to Rome tonight and she wasn’t even going to tell anyone!”