ONE NORMAL LIFE / TWO EXTRAORDINARY LIVES
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
11,276
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
11,276
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
A GLEANING
CHAPTER 34 - A GLEANING
June 11, 2008
William came into Dr. Turner's office at 1:00pm, his usual time, to find him talking agitatedly on the phone with someone by the name of Dr. Ogleby.
"You're very wrong to do this, to my patient and to me at this point. Very wrong!" he said, as he motioned William to have a seat.
"No, you don't understand,” he said, his voice low, “I've gotten close to a breakthrough with this patient and you're jeopardizing it, and him, right now!"
"Yes, I understand. You've made your mind up, and I'm to fall in line!" Dr. Turner said, hanging up the phone with a rather loud click.
William startled, looking at Dr. Turner.
"I'm sorry, William. Nevermind that. How are you? How's the reading going? Have you been writing?" Dr. Turner asked.
"Yes, I read some of the Shakespeare book you leant me last night. And I did some more writing," William said.
"May I see?" asked Dr. Turner.
William handed him the diary.
I can't help but think that something very big has happened to me to make me wind up here in a hospital, in a strange city, in a strange century(ies), without family or friends, or a special someone. Was I a bad man? Is it true what Dr. Turner proposes, that I am hiding something about me from myself?
The big question is, is it something small that my mind has turned into something so huge that it can't cope with it? Or is it really something so hideous that it should stay hidden forever? Am I some sort of monster?
I don't feel like a monster. I feel like a poor, pathetic man, who hasn't found his place in the world. Not in the one I remember, and certainly not in this one!
Dr. Turner read the entries and looked up at William, who was looking down at his hands, as if they were a great mystery.
"William, I'm older than I look, I'm almost 46 and I’ve been practicing for nearly 20 years. I've seen a lot of patients with lots of different conditions, but I always think that I can pretty much tell the ones who have a horrible secret that they're hiding from themselves, to those who aren't. You strike me as someone in the latter category. Now I don't know why your mind has done what it's done to itself, but I can tell you this. In my opinion, professional and otherwise, you seem to be a good man, William," Dr. Turner said, smiling at him.
William looked up at him, gratefully.
"William, I have a couple of things to tell yBothBoth of them are going to have to take some getting used to. The first thing I'll tell you is some very good news. You have a visitor coming this afternoon. Someone who says they know you!"
William looked up, surprised. It must be his mother or brother, or one of his friends, coming to bring him home, he thought.
"Who is it?" he asked.
"Elizabeth," Dr. Turner said, looking to gage William’s reaction, “do you know that name?”
William shook his head, “No, I don't remember any Elizabeth. I mean, I knew a little girl with that name back in primary school, but I haven't seen her in…since I was about 8 years old," he looked at Dr. Turner.
"Who does she say she is? To me?” William asked.
Dr. Turner looked at him. If he’d had more time, he would have wanted to proceed much slower with this new development, but he didn’t.
“Her name,” he said slowly, “is Elizabeth Worthington.”
“That’s my last name!” William said, “I don’t have a sister. Maybe she’s a distant cousin?” he said, questioningly.
Dr. Turner shook his head.
“Then what? Why would she…?” William looked at Dr. Turner with big eyes, and stood up suddenly.
“No, it can’t be! I can’t…Wouldn’t I remember this? Remember a wife? OH GOD!” William said, pacing around the room.
“William!” Dr. Turner said, raising his voice just a little, “I didn’t want to let you know this way, but I had to. Listen to me, there’s something else I need to tell you and it’s important.
William stopped, looking over at the doctor, “What?”
“William, today is the last day that I’ll be treating you. There’s a new doctor that the head of the hospital thinks would serve you better. His name is Dr. Dimitri O. Polydefkis. He’s supposed to be the best. He’ll be taking over for me tomorrow,” Dr. Turner said.
“But I don’t want him as my doctor! I want you. I trust you!” William shouted, agitated and upset.
“I know, I know you do, William, but this is the cards we’ve been dealt, and we’re just going to have to accept them.”
“No! I’ll tell them I don’t want this other doctor!” William said.
“You don’t have a choice,” Dr. Turner said, gently, “you were involuntarily committed to the hospital. You didn’t have anybody to decide these things on your behalf. And I don’t have a say in this either. I tried. That’s what I was arguing about when you walked in today.”
William plopped down in the chair, deflated, “Why? Why is this happening to me?” he asked anguished.
“Look, you’ll have a lot more options as soon as you’re on a step-down unit. That’s what I was going to tell you, also. As the last act as your doctor, I’m recommending that you go down over to 10 South. You’ll be able to leave your room whenever you wish, be able to go to the lounge, the library, the TV room, wherever you wish,” Dr. Turner said, “wear clothes.”
William shrugged; none of these places held any appeal for him anyway, although clothes would be nice. And besides, to think of getting out of hospital altogether, was to admit that he had no place in the world at all. None that he could think of, anyway.
Dr. Turner felt an overwhelming sympathy for William.
“I’ll still be your doctor for the rest of today. Why don’t we see how you feel after you’ve met Elizabeth, later this afternoon?”
“Will you…?”
“Will I what, William?”
“Will you still…come to see me?”
Dr. Turner hesitated for a moment, “Yes, I can do that,” he said, knowing that the higher-ups wouldn’t like it, but having made up his mind, “if you’d like me to.”
William just nodded. His life or lack thereof, for the past 2 weeks, had at least had a rhythm to it, now it was about to be thrown up in the air.
He went back to his room and lay down on his bed, his head spinning.
Who was she, this Elizabeth? What would she be like? Look like? This stranger that he didn’t know.
June 8, 2008
"Damn!" Angel said, looking at the paper, which had been forwarded to him from The National Sun's special division.
"Looks like it's our boy, in fact, I'd bank on it," Angel said, smiling to himself.
"What do you want us to do?" asked one of the lackeys.
"Send someone professional over there to assess him. See if we can't bring him back here for some of our own evaluation," he said.
"You got it!"
June 11, 2008
2:50pm
She’d called Bernie on the Airfone as soon as she boarded, and made arrangements for him to pick her up. She also called Dawn to tell her she had found Spike and that she would call her later. She told Dawn to call Willow and let her know.
For the rest of the trip she fidgeted in her seat, not able to calm her mind to think of anything rational. She knew she needed to think of the next step, getting Spike out of the hospital, etc. But all she could think of again and again, looping over and over in her mind, was that she was going to see Spike.
“I’m going to see Spike!”
“I’m going to SEE Spike!”
“I’m GOING to see Spike!”
“I’M going to see Spike!”
“I’m going to see SPIKE!”
“I’M GOING TO SEE SPIKE!”
Buffy had just grabbed an overnight case and thrown in Spike’s T-shirt and jeans and a few tops for herself and that was it.
As soon as the plane landed, she had to make herself stay seated until they allowed everyone to get up. She wanted to push everyone the hell out of the way and get out of there.
Bernie was waiting by the curb as she ran out the door.
“Hey, you’re back, just like I said!” he told her.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t have left if the stupid hospital knew who they had there in the first place!” she said.
“Well, we’ll be there in a few,” he said, then added, “you get any sleep? You don’t look so hot.”
She looked at herself in the mirror. He was right, she looked like hell and she was going to be seeing Spike!
“Damnit,” she vainly thought, trying to brush her hair and put on some lipstick.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean you don’t look nice, just tired,” Bernie said.
“I know how I look!” she said, rolling her eyes, “it’s just that I’d only been asleep about an hour or two, when a friend called with the information about…my friend, then another person called from the hospital, with the same information. Wish they’d called me the other day,” she said.
“You mean, yesterday,” he corrected, “you were gone less than a day.”
“Thanks for reminding me!” she said, smiling.
“Well, here we are,” Bernie said, twenty five minutes later, “University of Chicago Hospitals. You want me to wait for you?”
“I don’t know how long I’ll be. I don’t think I’m going to be leaving right away, not if I can stay. I’ll just call you if I need a ride later, okay?” Buffy said.
“Good luck,” he said, and helped her out with her bag.
“Thanks, Bernie.”
Buffy walked into the hospital and asked for Dr. Turner’s office.
As Buffy walked off the elevator, her heart almost stopped, when she saw one of the patients standing near the window. His hair was brown and curly, his face angular. For a moment, she almost thought it was Spike, but it wasn’t.
Dr. Turner opened the door to the small woman, who looked like she hadn’t slept in a long time.
“I’m Elizabeth Worthington…William’s wife,” she said, putting out her hand to the young looking doctor.
“You made it,” he said, smiling, as he shook hers.
“I wasn’t going to not get here in time today!”
She came across in person as she had on the phone, capable and strong. A far cry from the way William appeared, and probably, this dynamo could help him better than anybody else could.
They talked for a while about some stuff that hadn’t been covered earlier.
“He knows of you, Elizabeth. I told him earlier, because I knew you’d be arriving today.”
“He knows? What…what did he say?” she asked, both wanting and not wanting to hear the answer.
“He doesn’t remember you. I’m sorry. But he’s alright. He’s coping. I think maybe once he sees you, perhaps, maybe he will,” Dr. Turner said, hopefully.
He got up and motioned for Buffy to follow him.
It was the moment of truth. Buffy stood up and sat back down, almost passing out.
“Are you alright, Elizabeth?” Dr. Turner, asked, concerned at seeing her pale face.
“I’m, I just got a little dizzy. I just got home from Chicago last night and had only been to sleep for an hour or so, when I found out that he was here…”
“And you came right back?”
She nodded.
He liked this persistent young woman.
“How long did you say it’s been since you’ve seen him?”
“Three years,” she lied. She’d told Dr. Turner that William had been involved in an accident and that he’d lost his memory, and before she could get him into a treatment program, he’d wandered off and she hadn’t seen him since.
“Well, then, Elizabeth, I imagine you don’t want to waste another minute talking to me.”
He held onto her arm gently, as he steered her down the hall, past two locked double doors and to room 1005.
“I’ll be right back,” he told Buffy, “I’m just going to let William know that he’s got company,” he said and walked into the room.
Buffy flattened herself against the wall, trembling, heart pounding.
“Hello Twilight’s Zone. Beyond this door…” she said to herself.
Beyond this door, what? Lay what used to be her heart? What was he now?
“William,” Dr. Turner said, as he walked into the room, “your visitor is here. Remember I told you? Her name is Elizabeth. She’s very nice, very pretty, too. And William, she’s also very scared to see you.”
“She is? Why?” William asked, perplexed.
“Well, she says she hasn’t seen you for a very long time, She’s probably scared that you won’t recognize her, or that even if you do, that maybe you won’t know her anymore, or won’t feel the same way. You know. Women stuff,” Dr. Turner said, hoping to appeal to the part of William that was back in the 19th century, in his way of thinking, but he amended it, “human stuff.”
William didn’t know woman stuff or human stuff. He didn’t even remember ever being in a relationship with anyone before. He’d never even had a real date, yet alone…a wife!
Dr. Turner smiled and nodded to William as he walked out. William sat on the bed, then he stood up, he sat back down, got up and walked to the window, sat back down, then, finally, when he was about to stand up again, the door opened.
Buffy stood there and looked at him. There was no mistake. It was Spike. She’d know his face and his eyes anywhere. Know the shape of his lips, his body, even in awful hospital pajamas.
They stared at each other.
Buffy was shaking so badly, she couldn’t say anything. She started to take a step forward, but things started going black, the ground was rising up to meet her.
All of a sudden, strong arms (well, one strong arm, and one still healing) had her, before she hit. She felt herself being helped over to the bed, “Are you alright? Come and sit down,” she heard a proper English accent say to her.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she mumbled, “I just…didn’t get much sleep last night…when I found out…about you…being here,” Buffy said, shakily, as she looked up at him. She was looking at his face, as his was searching hers. His arm, warm and secure, was still around her waist, from when he’d helped her, to sit down on the bed.
Her mouth opened, like a fish, she was sure, as she took in the beautiful visage.
“Spike,” she whispered, then amended it, “William.”
“May I?” she asked him, tentatively, as she held out her hand towards him.
He numbly nodded.
Taking a bit of liberty, she slowly put her hand on his face, tracing his cheek.
William was stunned by the events that had just occurred. He couldn’t think. The feeling of her hand on his face was so comforting. It not only evaporated any coherent thought, but his fear and anxiety over their meeting, as well.
He continued to stare at her, as she at him, as his eyes involuntarily closed for a moment, as he rested his cheek in her small hand.
“William? Spike? It’s me, Buffy. That’s what you used to call me. Do you know me?” she pleaded, sensing something of ‘him’ in his response to her touch.
He shook his head, upset; that he didn’t, upset that he was enjoying an intimate touch from someone he didn’t remember knowing.
“It’s okay, William,” Buffy said,cklyckly, trying not to upset him further, “you don’t remember me, but I remember you,” she said, nodding as he looked at her.
He took his hand from around her waist, and she removed her hand from his warm face. Both felt the loss of sensation immediately, her for the past five long years, him from a lifetime of loneliness.
“How? When? Who am I?” he asked, looking into her eyes.
She looked at him. How would she ever answer him? One thing was for sure; there was no way she was going to be able to answer much for him right now.
“It’s…it’s complicated. I…” Buffy faltered.
“My mother? My brother? Do you know of them?” he asked hopefully of her, his lifeline to some sort of reality.
“She reached out once more, taking his warm and yielding hand in between hers, “I’m sorry, Will, they’ve been gone a very long time. Even before I knew you,” she said, her eyes tearing up in response to his.
“Gone? Gone?” he said to himself, but looking toward her.
Buffy nodded, “I’m sorry.”
“Elizabeth,” he said, the name slowly coming off of his lips.
She nodded again.
“You are my…?” he looked at her questioningly.
She was so pretty. She was the kind of girl whom he would never have had the nerve to talk to, certainly, the kind of girl who would never have given him the time of day. And yet, there she was, holding his hand between hers, looking at him with…? He didn’t know what it was; he’d never seen that sort of look directed at him before.
Buffy felt guilty, starting out with a lie between them, when he didn’t have any say in the matter. Did it make a difference? If it was for his own good? She didn’t know, only that his coming back to ‘life’ like this would bring more pain to him, no matter what. But she didn’t want to be a cause of it, not if she didn’t have to.
She looked around the room for anything that could be construed as a hidden camera or microphone. She wasn’t sure.
“William? Can we stand up?”
He nodded. She stood and walked over toward the corner of the room, near the window and left a space for him between her and the window.
"William," she said taking his hands again, "I need to tell you some things, but I..." she stopped and looked at his face, trying to read him. He looked curious, but thankfully, not afraid.
"What is it?" he asked, his head tilted as he looked at her.
She slowly came towards him and he shifted uncomfortably, but she still held onto his hands.
"I want to answer some of your questions, William, but I need to be able to tell you things that nobody else can hear," Buffy said.
"There’s nobody here but us," William said, curious at her statement
"Please. Trust me William, I need you to do that," Buffy pleaded, "will you?"
He didn't know why, but he nodded his head.
"Can you please hug me, so that I can...?" she blushed, looking down, “whisper what I need to say in your ear?”
He looked at her, and saw her trembling. His heart went out to her. He may not know her, but..." he didn't think anymore, just took his hands out of hers, and gently slid them up her arms, as she stepped forward toward him. Her arms went around his back, as she came into his arms.
She stopped as they stood there breathing, getting used to the feel of each other. He felt soft and warm, and hard, all at the same time.
"My God!" she thought to herself, “There was that word, 'warm',” she realized that every single time she'd felt his skin; his face, or his hands, that the adjective 'warm,' had popped into her brain. But, it wasn't until now, that she realized, she was fully conscious of why:
She had her arms around a human being. Human. Her Spike was standing here with his human arms around her.
She stood still against him, feeling his heart beating against her chest, and marveled at the miracle. Of him.
For William, he felt himself, like at any second, he was going to faint. He was amazed at how well her body molded to his, like they were made for each other. His face felt flushed with embarrassment, as he felt her breasts against his chest, felt himself respond automatically, in a way that a lady was sure to be offended by. He stepped back a bit, to reduce the contact.
Little did he know, that Buffy smiled, when she realized that he had responded to her. Five years, an apocalypse, a death and a prophesied resurrection later, and his body still responded to hers.
“William,” she said softly into his ear, “you asked me if I was…your wife?”
He nodded into her shoulder, which was right next to his face.
“I…when you knew me…my name was Buffy, Buffy Summers. You and I were, we’d been…” she swallowed, knowing how hard it was to say, yet alone probably to hear.
“We’re not married, are we?” William asked, sadly.
He had been shocked to hear he had a wife he didn’t remember, but now, after seeing her, spending a few minutes with her, he was suddenly, rather happy, thinking that this pretty woman had loved him enough to marry him.
Buffy took a deep breath, and still hugging him, her mouth to his ear, said, “No. I’m sorry, William…we’re not, but I…I loved you and I…when you…when I thought you were dead…I took your name. I…it’s so complicated…”
“Loved me?” he asked, “loved me?” he repeated, this time, his voice emphasizing just a little bit, the past tense of the word, as he stiffened a little bit also, as if waiting to hear the pronouncement.
Buffy’s eyes grew moist, as she heard the inflection in his voice, felt his body language, “Loved you five years ago, LOVE you now. Love you five years from now. Always, Spike. Always,” she said, lifting her head up to look at him for a moment.
“Spike?” he asked, confused.
“I’m sorry. William. It’s a name you used to go by,” she said.
“Spike? What kind of a God-awful name is that? I went by that? That’s how you remember me, Elizabeth, as a man with the name of Spike?”
She broke the embrace and looked at him, “You listen to me, William Worthington,” she said, slowly enunciating both his first and last names, “I don’t just think of you as a man named Spike, because…because you…I called you by both names. You were both. So don’t you…” she lost her train of thought.
“I knew and loved both of you!” she said, finishing.
“Both of us? Then it’s true? I have some sort of disassociative personality disorder?”
She shook her head no, “Not unless me, going by Buffy, also means that I have one,” she said smiling at him.
“William, I can’t explain it all to you right now. Please, I just can’t! You’ll just have to trust me until we get home.”
She hugged him briefly once more, “I love you, I want us to go home!” she said.
“Home?”
“Yes, home!”
“Where?” William asked.
“California,” Buffy said.
“California. California? How did I get here then?” William asked.
“I don’t know,” she white-lied, knowing that maybe one day she would have to tell him the whole tale, but not now, that was for sure.
“What’s…it like?” he asked, “home?”
She stood facing him and told him of his house in Julian, (without saying it’s name, and of which he didn’t ask) of each of the rooms, the furniture, the fireplace, of the woods, and the trails, and the restaurant where they’d had dinner. Even a little about his friend Clem, except for about his g a g a demon.
He just looked at her, taking the whole thing in, feeling like there was a little crack, just a gleaning, of something other than only, the far away, and obviously, false images he had in his head, of a life that he couldn’t possibly have lived.
“William,” Buffy said, gently, looking him in the eyes, “I’ve come to take you home. Do you think you’d like that?” she asked, suddenly unsure of how he would perceive this whole experience…or her.
“Do you…want to go home? With me?”
He looked her, this stranger, who was no longer such a stranger, this woman, who all of a sudden, had brought a light into his darkness, his desolation.
He nodded, “Yes. I think…I think that would be very nice, indeed,” he said, shyly smiling at her, before looking down.
She smiled, too, “Good then! Good!”
Once more, she gently put her arms around him, so that her mouth was next to his ear, while anybody looking in would just see a man and woman embracing, “William, I need what I told you about us not really being married to be a secret.”
“Why?”
“Because, I don’t think that they’ll let me take you home, if they just think that I’m a very, very good friend, no matter how close we were. But I’ve got your last name, so hopefully, it won’t be a problem. Can you keep this our secret?” she asked.
“I will, Elizabeth. I’ll…refer to you as my wife, if they ask,” he said, “I’ll…even tell them that I remember you!” he said, proud of himself for having thought this up.
“But, if you do that, we’ll both have to have the same stories. Maybe it’s better to just be honest that you don’t remember me from before. Only that you know I’m your wife now. What do you think?” she asked, wanting to give him some say in the matter.
He nodded his agreement, “Very well,” he said, still holding on to her, which was very nice indeed.
“Elizabeth?” he asked, “did I love you? I mean, I think I must have, but was I…a good…boyfriend?”
Buffy sighed, with what felt like a breath she’d been holding since the moment Spike had died.
She turned her face to him, and put her hands up on either side of his face, his hair. She brought her mouth as close to his as was possible, without touching lips, “You were the best, My William; the best boyfriend, the best lover,” she barely breathed into his mouth, and into his astonished heart, “and yes you loved me! Better than I did you, I’m afraid. But, that’s going to change from now on. I promise you that, on all of our loved one’s graves,” Buffy said, and then very gently, kissed those lips she’d been so tantalizingly close to.
William stood there, his head spinning, as he experienced what he remembered, as his first ever kiss.
She pulled back and looked at him, as he stood there with what appeared to be a look of awe on his face. And sort of a funny ‘awe’ at that.
She smiled at him, and he smiled back.
“William, I hope that his all hasn’t been too much, I…”
All of a sudden they were interrupted by the room’s intercom, “Hospital Vistors on 10th Floor North, 8th, 7th, and 6th Floor South, are all hereby informed that the visiting hours will be over in 5 minutes. Visitors are asked to leave promptly. Thank you.
“No!” Elizabeth and William said together.
They smiled at each other.
“I don’t want to leave,” Buffy said, holding onto his hands, “not now, not when I just got to see you again!”
William didn’t know what to do; he started to get agitated.
“It’s alright, William. I didn’t mean to upset you,” she said, realizing that he was feeling what she was feeling, too. Perhaps for different reasons, but none-the-less, she was feeding his sense of anxiety by her own.
“Will you…?” he was afraid to ask.
“Will I what?”
“Will you come back and see me? Tomorrow?” William finally asked, looking at her.
“William, wild horses couldn’t keep me away from coming back and seeing you tomorrow!”
“Oh, I forgot,” Buffy said, opening up her overnight bag, “I have a couple of things for you,” she said as she handed him the black T-shirt and jeans.
He just stared at them.
“I know, you probably don’t even remember these, do you?”
He shook his head.
“Well, none-the-less, they should fit you perfectly,” she said, smiling.
“Thank you,” he said, still examining the jeans. He’d certainly didn’t remember having a pair of trousers like these ever before. And the shirt? Not really a shirt, something more like a short nightshirt.
“Um…maybe I can buy you something else that you might like a little more,” she said.
“No,” he said, looking up, shocked, “you don’t have to spend your money on me!”
She almost laughed, except she remembered that he really didn’t know the customs of 2008. Besides, even Spike, in the last couple of years wouldn’t have liked that either.
Buffy had one more thing, “Here,” she said, and handed him a copy of the drawing that he’d made of her and him under the canopy.
He looked at her questioningly, “I thought…”
She came close to him, once again, whispering in his ear, “But you drew it, none-the-less, William, and it’s beautiful! If anyone asks you about it, you can tell then this is from a drawing from our wedding,” she said, smiling as she stepped away.
The hospital intercom announced the end of visiting hours. They both groaned.
Buffy gave William a warm hug and a gentle kiss on the lips.
“Bye, William. I…I love you!” she said, smiling, happy, “I’ll see you tomorrow! I’ll see you every day, until we get you out of here!” she said, as she opened the door.
William didn’t know why he found it so hard to believe, but he was suddenly afraid to see her go, “You’ll come back? For me?” he asked so plaintively, that her heart almost stopped.
“I promise, I promise William, I’ll be back for you. I’ll never let you go again, never!”
“Miss, visiting hours are over!” a nurse said, as she finished pushing the door to Williams room all the way open.
“Please come back to see me, Elizabeth,” William said.
”I will, I’ll see you tomorrow. I Promise,” Buffy said on her way out the door.
Buffy kept looking back toward his room until she was forced to go out the double doors that lead to his ward.
She was smiling so broadly, she was sure her face was going to crack. She was so happy!
William, Spike! All the fears she’d had about seeing him, and he was still there. She knew him, even if he didn’t know her. She knew him! She still loved him. He might even love her, too. Like he did. Someday.
She was smiling like a fool, as she went down in the elevator to make her way to the ER, after first calling Dawn, Willow, and maybe even Andrew to let them know what was going on.
All of a sudden, life was wonderful!
“My Kind of Town, Chicago is…a Town that won’t let you down, it’s my kind of Town!” she hummed to herself.
END CHAPTER 34
June 11, 2008
William came into Dr. Turner's office at 1:00pm, his usual time, to find him talking agitatedly on the phone with someone by the name of Dr. Ogleby.
"You're very wrong to do this, to my patient and to me at this point. Very wrong!" he said, as he motioned William to have a seat.
"No, you don't understand,” he said, his voice low, “I've gotten close to a breakthrough with this patient and you're jeopardizing it, and him, right now!"
"Yes, I understand. You've made your mind up, and I'm to fall in line!" Dr. Turner said, hanging up the phone with a rather loud click.
William startled, looking at Dr. Turner.
"I'm sorry, William. Nevermind that. How are you? How's the reading going? Have you been writing?" Dr. Turner asked.
"Yes, I read some of the Shakespeare book you leant me last night. And I did some more writing," William said.
"May I see?" asked Dr. Turner.
William handed him the diary.
I can't help but think that something very big has happened to me to make me wind up here in a hospital, in a strange city, in a strange century(ies), without family or friends, or a special someone. Was I a bad man? Is it true what Dr. Turner proposes, that I am hiding something about me from myself?
The big question is, is it something small that my mind has turned into something so huge that it can't cope with it? Or is it really something so hideous that it should stay hidden forever? Am I some sort of monster?
I don't feel like a monster. I feel like a poor, pathetic man, who hasn't found his place in the world. Not in the one I remember, and certainly not in this one!
Dr. Turner read the entries and looked up at William, who was looking down at his hands, as if they were a great mystery.
"William, I'm older than I look, I'm almost 46 and I’ve been practicing for nearly 20 years. I've seen a lot of patients with lots of different conditions, but I always think that I can pretty much tell the ones who have a horrible secret that they're hiding from themselves, to those who aren't. You strike me as someone in the latter category. Now I don't know why your mind has done what it's done to itself, but I can tell you this. In my opinion, professional and otherwise, you seem to be a good man, William," Dr. Turner said, smiling at him.
William looked up at him, gratefully.
"William, I have a couple of things to tell yBothBoth of them are going to have to take some getting used to. The first thing I'll tell you is some very good news. You have a visitor coming this afternoon. Someone who says they know you!"
William looked up, surprised. It must be his mother or brother, or one of his friends, coming to bring him home, he thought.
"Who is it?" he asked.
"Elizabeth," Dr. Turner said, looking to gage William’s reaction, “do you know that name?”
William shook his head, “No, I don't remember any Elizabeth. I mean, I knew a little girl with that name back in primary school, but I haven't seen her in…since I was about 8 years old," he looked at Dr. Turner.
"Who does she say she is? To me?” William asked.
Dr. Turner looked at him. If he’d had more time, he would have wanted to proceed much slower with this new development, but he didn’t.
“Her name,” he said slowly, “is Elizabeth Worthington.”
“That’s my last name!” William said, “I don’t have a sister. Maybe she’s a distant cousin?” he said, questioningly.
Dr. Turner shook his head.
“Then what? Why would she…?” William looked at Dr. Turner with big eyes, and stood up suddenly.
“No, it can’t be! I can’t…Wouldn’t I remember this? Remember a wife? OH GOD!” William said, pacing around the room.
“William!” Dr. Turner said, raising his voice just a little, “I didn’t want to let you know this way, but I had to. Listen to me, there’s something else I need to tell you and it’s important.
William stopped, looking over at the doctor, “What?”
“William, today is the last day that I’ll be treating you. There’s a new doctor that the head of the hospital thinks would serve you better. His name is Dr. Dimitri O. Polydefkis. He’s supposed to be the best. He’ll be taking over for me tomorrow,” Dr. Turner said.
“But I don’t want him as my doctor! I want you. I trust you!” William shouted, agitated and upset.
“I know, I know you do, William, but this is the cards we’ve been dealt, and we’re just going to have to accept them.”
“No! I’ll tell them I don’t want this other doctor!” William said.
“You don’t have a choice,” Dr. Turner said, gently, “you were involuntarily committed to the hospital. You didn’t have anybody to decide these things on your behalf. And I don’t have a say in this either. I tried. That’s what I was arguing about when you walked in today.”
William plopped down in the chair, deflated, “Why? Why is this happening to me?” he asked anguished.
“Look, you’ll have a lot more options as soon as you’re on a step-down unit. That’s what I was going to tell you, also. As the last act as your doctor, I’m recommending that you go down over to 10 South. You’ll be able to leave your room whenever you wish, be able to go to the lounge, the library, the TV room, wherever you wish,” Dr. Turner said, “wear clothes.”
William shrugged; none of these places held any appeal for him anyway, although clothes would be nice. And besides, to think of getting out of hospital altogether, was to admit that he had no place in the world at all. None that he could think of, anyway.
Dr. Turner felt an overwhelming sympathy for William.
“I’ll still be your doctor for the rest of today. Why don’t we see how you feel after you’ve met Elizabeth, later this afternoon?”
“Will you…?”
“Will I what, William?”
“Will you still…come to see me?”
Dr. Turner hesitated for a moment, “Yes, I can do that,” he said, knowing that the higher-ups wouldn’t like it, but having made up his mind, “if you’d like me to.”
William just nodded. His life or lack thereof, for the past 2 weeks, had at least had a rhythm to it, now it was about to be thrown up in the air.
He went back to his room and lay down on his bed, his head spinning.
Who was she, this Elizabeth? What would she be like? Look like? This stranger that he didn’t know.
June 8, 2008
"Damn!" Angel said, looking at the paper, which had been forwarded to him from The National Sun's special division.
"Looks like it's our boy, in fact, I'd bank on it," Angel said, smiling to himself.
"What do you want us to do?" asked one of the lackeys.
"Send someone professional over there to assess him. See if we can't bring him back here for some of our own evaluation," he said.
"You got it!"
June 11, 2008
2:50pm
She’d called Bernie on the Airfone as soon as she boarded, and made arrangements for him to pick her up. She also called Dawn to tell her she had found Spike and that she would call her later. She told Dawn to call Willow and let her know.
For the rest of the trip she fidgeted in her seat, not able to calm her mind to think of anything rational. She knew she needed to think of the next step, getting Spike out of the hospital, etc. But all she could think of again and again, looping over and over in her mind, was that she was going to see Spike.
“I’m going to see Spike!”
“I’m going to SEE Spike!”
“I’m GOING to see Spike!”
“I’M going to see Spike!”
“I’m going to see SPIKE!”
“I’M GOING TO SEE SPIKE!”
Buffy had just grabbed an overnight case and thrown in Spike’s T-shirt and jeans and a few tops for herself and that was it.
As soon as the plane landed, she had to make herself stay seated until they allowed everyone to get up. She wanted to push everyone the hell out of the way and get out of there.
Bernie was waiting by the curb as she ran out the door.
“Hey, you’re back, just like I said!” he told her.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t have left if the stupid hospital knew who they had there in the first place!” she said.
“Well, we’ll be there in a few,” he said, then added, “you get any sleep? You don’t look so hot.”
She looked at herself in the mirror. He was right, she looked like hell and she was going to be seeing Spike!
“Damnit,” she vainly thought, trying to brush her hair and put on some lipstick.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean you don’t look nice, just tired,” Bernie said.
“I know how I look!” she said, rolling her eyes, “it’s just that I’d only been asleep about an hour or two, when a friend called with the information about…my friend, then another person called from the hospital, with the same information. Wish they’d called me the other day,” she said.
“You mean, yesterday,” he corrected, “you were gone less than a day.”
“Thanks for reminding me!” she said, smiling.
“Well, here we are,” Bernie said, twenty five minutes later, “University of Chicago Hospitals. You want me to wait for you?”
“I don’t know how long I’ll be. I don’t think I’m going to be leaving right away, not if I can stay. I’ll just call you if I need a ride later, okay?” Buffy said.
“Good luck,” he said, and helped her out with her bag.
“Thanks, Bernie.”
Buffy walked into the hospital and asked for Dr. Turner’s office.
As Buffy walked off the elevator, her heart almost stopped, when she saw one of the patients standing near the window. His hair was brown and curly, his face angular. For a moment, she almost thought it was Spike, but it wasn’t.
Dr. Turner opened the door to the small woman, who looked like she hadn’t slept in a long time.
“I’m Elizabeth Worthington…William’s wife,” she said, putting out her hand to the young looking doctor.
“You made it,” he said, smiling, as he shook hers.
“I wasn’t going to not get here in time today!”
She came across in person as she had on the phone, capable and strong. A far cry from the way William appeared, and probably, this dynamo could help him better than anybody else could.
They talked for a while about some stuff that hadn’t been covered earlier.
“He knows of you, Elizabeth. I told him earlier, because I knew you’d be arriving today.”
“He knows? What…what did he say?” she asked, both wanting and not wanting to hear the answer.
“He doesn’t remember you. I’m sorry. But he’s alright. He’s coping. I think maybe once he sees you, perhaps, maybe he will,” Dr. Turner said, hopefully.
He got up and motioned for Buffy to follow him.
It was the moment of truth. Buffy stood up and sat back down, almost passing out.
“Are you alright, Elizabeth?” Dr. Turner, asked, concerned at seeing her pale face.
“I’m, I just got a little dizzy. I just got home from Chicago last night and had only been to sleep for an hour or so, when I found out that he was here…”
“And you came right back?”
She nodded.
He liked this persistent young woman.
“How long did you say it’s been since you’ve seen him?”
“Three years,” she lied. She’d told Dr. Turner that William had been involved in an accident and that he’d lost his memory, and before she could get him into a treatment program, he’d wandered off and she hadn’t seen him since.
“Well, then, Elizabeth, I imagine you don’t want to waste another minute talking to me.”
He held onto her arm gently, as he steered her down the hall, past two locked double doors and to room 1005.
“I’ll be right back,” he told Buffy, “I’m just going to let William know that he’s got company,” he said and walked into the room.
Buffy flattened herself against the wall, trembling, heart pounding.
“Hello Twilight’s Zone. Beyond this door…” she said to herself.
Beyond this door, what? Lay what used to be her heart? What was he now?
“William,” Dr. Turner said, as he walked into the room, “your visitor is here. Remember I told you? Her name is Elizabeth. She’s very nice, very pretty, too. And William, she’s also very scared to see you.”
“She is? Why?” William asked, perplexed.
“Well, she says she hasn’t seen you for a very long time, She’s probably scared that you won’t recognize her, or that even if you do, that maybe you won’t know her anymore, or won’t feel the same way. You know. Women stuff,” Dr. Turner said, hoping to appeal to the part of William that was back in the 19th century, in his way of thinking, but he amended it, “human stuff.”
William didn’t know woman stuff or human stuff. He didn’t even remember ever being in a relationship with anyone before. He’d never even had a real date, yet alone…a wife!
Dr. Turner smiled and nodded to William as he walked out. William sat on the bed, then he stood up, he sat back down, got up and walked to the window, sat back down, then, finally, when he was about to stand up again, the door opened.
Buffy stood there and looked at him. There was no mistake. It was Spike. She’d know his face and his eyes anywhere. Know the shape of his lips, his body, even in awful hospital pajamas.
They stared at each other.
Buffy was shaking so badly, she couldn’t say anything. She started to take a step forward, but things started going black, the ground was rising up to meet her.
All of a sudden, strong arms (well, one strong arm, and one still healing) had her, before she hit. She felt herself being helped over to the bed, “Are you alright? Come and sit down,” she heard a proper English accent say to her.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she mumbled, “I just…didn’t get much sleep last night…when I found out…about you…being here,” Buffy said, shakily, as she looked up at him. She was looking at his face, as his was searching hers. His arm, warm and secure, was still around her waist, from when he’d helped her, to sit down on the bed.
Her mouth opened, like a fish, she was sure, as she took in the beautiful visage.
“Spike,” she whispered, then amended it, “William.”
“May I?” she asked him, tentatively, as she held out her hand towards him.
He numbly nodded.
Taking a bit of liberty, she slowly put her hand on his face, tracing his cheek.
William was stunned by the events that had just occurred. He couldn’t think. The feeling of her hand on his face was so comforting. It not only evaporated any coherent thought, but his fear and anxiety over their meeting, as well.
He continued to stare at her, as she at him, as his eyes involuntarily closed for a moment, as he rested his cheek in her small hand.
“William? Spike? It’s me, Buffy. That’s what you used to call me. Do you know me?” she pleaded, sensing something of ‘him’ in his response to her touch.
He shook his head, upset; that he didn’t, upset that he was enjoying an intimate touch from someone he didn’t remember knowing.
“It’s okay, William,” Buffy said,cklyckly, trying not to upset him further, “you don’t remember me, but I remember you,” she said, nodding as he looked at her.
He took his hand from around her waist, and she removed her hand from his warm face. Both felt the loss of sensation immediately, her for the past five long years, him from a lifetime of loneliness.
“How? When? Who am I?” he asked, looking into her eyes.
She looked at him. How would she ever answer him? One thing was for sure; there was no way she was going to be able to answer much for him right now.
“It’s…it’s complicated. I…” Buffy faltered.
“My mother? My brother? Do you know of them?” he asked hopefully of her, his lifeline to some sort of reality.
“She reached out once more, taking his warm and yielding hand in between hers, “I’m sorry, Will, they’ve been gone a very long time. Even before I knew you,” she said, her eyes tearing up in response to his.
“Gone? Gone?” he said to himself, but looking toward her.
Buffy nodded, “I’m sorry.”
“Elizabeth,” he said, the name slowly coming off of his lips.
She nodded again.
“You are my…?” he looked at her questioningly.
She was so pretty. She was the kind of girl whom he would never have had the nerve to talk to, certainly, the kind of girl who would never have given him the time of day. And yet, there she was, holding his hand between hers, looking at him with…? He didn’t know what it was; he’d never seen that sort of look directed at him before.
Buffy felt guilty, starting out with a lie between them, when he didn’t have any say in the matter. Did it make a difference? If it was for his own good? She didn’t know, only that his coming back to ‘life’ like this would bring more pain to him, no matter what. But she didn’t want to be a cause of it, not if she didn’t have to.
She looked around the room for anything that could be construed as a hidden camera or microphone. She wasn’t sure.
“William? Can we stand up?”
He nodded. She stood and walked over toward the corner of the room, near the window and left a space for him between her and the window.
"William," she said taking his hands again, "I need to tell you some things, but I..." she stopped and looked at his face, trying to read him. He looked curious, but thankfully, not afraid.
"What is it?" he asked, his head tilted as he looked at her.
She slowly came towards him and he shifted uncomfortably, but she still held onto his hands.
"I want to answer some of your questions, William, but I need to be able to tell you things that nobody else can hear," Buffy said.
"There’s nobody here but us," William said, curious at her statement
"Please. Trust me William, I need you to do that," Buffy pleaded, "will you?"
He didn't know why, but he nodded his head.
"Can you please hug me, so that I can...?" she blushed, looking down, “whisper what I need to say in your ear?”
He looked at her, and saw her trembling. His heart went out to her. He may not know her, but..." he didn't think anymore, just took his hands out of hers, and gently slid them up her arms, as she stepped forward toward him. Her arms went around his back, as she came into his arms.
She stopped as they stood there breathing, getting used to the feel of each other. He felt soft and warm, and hard, all at the same time.
"My God!" she thought to herself, “There was that word, 'warm',” she realized that every single time she'd felt his skin; his face, or his hands, that the adjective 'warm,' had popped into her brain. But, it wasn't until now, that she realized, she was fully conscious of why:
She had her arms around a human being. Human. Her Spike was standing here with his human arms around her.
She stood still against him, feeling his heart beating against her chest, and marveled at the miracle. Of him.
For William, he felt himself, like at any second, he was going to faint. He was amazed at how well her body molded to his, like they were made for each other. His face felt flushed with embarrassment, as he felt her breasts against his chest, felt himself respond automatically, in a way that a lady was sure to be offended by. He stepped back a bit, to reduce the contact.
Little did he know, that Buffy smiled, when she realized that he had responded to her. Five years, an apocalypse, a death and a prophesied resurrection later, and his body still responded to hers.
“William,” she said softly into his ear, “you asked me if I was…your wife?”
He nodded into her shoulder, which was right next to his face.
“I…when you knew me…my name was Buffy, Buffy Summers. You and I were, we’d been…” she swallowed, knowing how hard it was to say, yet alone probably to hear.
“We’re not married, are we?” William asked, sadly.
He had been shocked to hear he had a wife he didn’t remember, but now, after seeing her, spending a few minutes with her, he was suddenly, rather happy, thinking that this pretty woman had loved him enough to marry him.
Buffy took a deep breath, and still hugging him, her mouth to his ear, said, “No. I’m sorry, William…we’re not, but I…I loved you and I…when you…when I thought you were dead…I took your name. I…it’s so complicated…”
“Loved me?” he asked, “loved me?” he repeated, this time, his voice emphasizing just a little bit, the past tense of the word, as he stiffened a little bit also, as if waiting to hear the pronouncement.
Buffy’s eyes grew moist, as she heard the inflection in his voice, felt his body language, “Loved you five years ago, LOVE you now. Love you five years from now. Always, Spike. Always,” she said, lifting her head up to look at him for a moment.
“Spike?” he asked, confused.
“I’m sorry. William. It’s a name you used to go by,” she said.
“Spike? What kind of a God-awful name is that? I went by that? That’s how you remember me, Elizabeth, as a man with the name of Spike?”
She broke the embrace and looked at him, “You listen to me, William Worthington,” she said, slowly enunciating both his first and last names, “I don’t just think of you as a man named Spike, because…because you…I called you by both names. You were both. So don’t you…” she lost her train of thought.
“I knew and loved both of you!” she said, finishing.
“Both of us? Then it’s true? I have some sort of disassociative personality disorder?”
She shook her head no, “Not unless me, going by Buffy, also means that I have one,” she said smiling at him.
“William, I can’t explain it all to you right now. Please, I just can’t! You’ll just have to trust me until we get home.”
She hugged him briefly once more, “I love you, I want us to go home!” she said.
“Home?”
“Yes, home!”
“Where?” William asked.
“California,” Buffy said.
“California. California? How did I get here then?” William asked.
“I don’t know,” she white-lied, knowing that maybe one day she would have to tell him the whole tale, but not now, that was for sure.
“What’s…it like?” he asked, “home?”
She stood facing him and told him of his house in Julian, (without saying it’s name, and of which he didn’t ask) of each of the rooms, the furniture, the fireplace, of the woods, and the trails, and the restaurant where they’d had dinner. Even a little about his friend Clem, except for about his g a g a demon.
He just looked at her, taking the whole thing in, feeling like there was a little crack, just a gleaning, of something other than only, the far away, and obviously, false images he had in his head, of a life that he couldn’t possibly have lived.
“William,” Buffy said, gently, looking him in the eyes, “I’ve come to take you home. Do you think you’d like that?” she asked, suddenly unsure of how he would perceive this whole experience…or her.
“Do you…want to go home? With me?”
He looked her, this stranger, who was no longer such a stranger, this woman, who all of a sudden, had brought a light into his darkness, his desolation.
He nodded, “Yes. I think…I think that would be very nice, indeed,” he said, shyly smiling at her, before looking down.
She smiled, too, “Good then! Good!”
Once more, she gently put her arms around him, so that her mouth was next to his ear, while anybody looking in would just see a man and woman embracing, “William, I need what I told you about us not really being married to be a secret.”
“Why?”
“Because, I don’t think that they’ll let me take you home, if they just think that I’m a very, very good friend, no matter how close we were. But I’ve got your last name, so hopefully, it won’t be a problem. Can you keep this our secret?” she asked.
“I will, Elizabeth. I’ll…refer to you as my wife, if they ask,” he said, “I’ll…even tell them that I remember you!” he said, proud of himself for having thought this up.
“But, if you do that, we’ll both have to have the same stories. Maybe it’s better to just be honest that you don’t remember me from before. Only that you know I’m your wife now. What do you think?” she asked, wanting to give him some say in the matter.
He nodded his agreement, “Very well,” he said, still holding on to her, which was very nice indeed.
“Elizabeth?” he asked, “did I love you? I mean, I think I must have, but was I…a good…boyfriend?”
Buffy sighed, with what felt like a breath she’d been holding since the moment Spike had died.
She turned her face to him, and put her hands up on either side of his face, his hair. She brought her mouth as close to his as was possible, without touching lips, “You were the best, My William; the best boyfriend, the best lover,” she barely breathed into his mouth, and into his astonished heart, “and yes you loved me! Better than I did you, I’m afraid. But, that’s going to change from now on. I promise you that, on all of our loved one’s graves,” Buffy said, and then very gently, kissed those lips she’d been so tantalizingly close to.
William stood there, his head spinning, as he experienced what he remembered, as his first ever kiss.
She pulled back and looked at him, as he stood there with what appeared to be a look of awe on his face. And sort of a funny ‘awe’ at that.
She smiled at him, and he smiled back.
“William, I hope that his all hasn’t been too much, I…”
All of a sudden they were interrupted by the room’s intercom, “Hospital Vistors on 10th Floor North, 8th, 7th, and 6th Floor South, are all hereby informed that the visiting hours will be over in 5 minutes. Visitors are asked to leave promptly. Thank you.
“No!” Elizabeth and William said together.
They smiled at each other.
“I don’t want to leave,” Buffy said, holding onto his hands, “not now, not when I just got to see you again!”
William didn’t know what to do; he started to get agitated.
“It’s alright, William. I didn’t mean to upset you,” she said, realizing that he was feeling what she was feeling, too. Perhaps for different reasons, but none-the-less, she was feeding his sense of anxiety by her own.
“Will you…?” he was afraid to ask.
“Will I what?”
“Will you come back and see me? Tomorrow?” William finally asked, looking at her.
“William, wild horses couldn’t keep me away from coming back and seeing you tomorrow!”
“Oh, I forgot,” Buffy said, opening up her overnight bag, “I have a couple of things for you,” she said as she handed him the black T-shirt and jeans.
He just stared at them.
“I know, you probably don’t even remember these, do you?”
He shook his head.
“Well, none-the-less, they should fit you perfectly,” she said, smiling.
“Thank you,” he said, still examining the jeans. He’d certainly didn’t remember having a pair of trousers like these ever before. And the shirt? Not really a shirt, something more like a short nightshirt.
“Um…maybe I can buy you something else that you might like a little more,” she said.
“No,” he said, looking up, shocked, “you don’t have to spend your money on me!”
She almost laughed, except she remembered that he really didn’t know the customs of 2008. Besides, even Spike, in the last couple of years wouldn’t have liked that either.
Buffy had one more thing, “Here,” she said, and handed him a copy of the drawing that he’d made of her and him under the canopy.
He looked at her questioningly, “I thought…”
She came close to him, once again, whispering in his ear, “But you drew it, none-the-less, William, and it’s beautiful! If anyone asks you about it, you can tell then this is from a drawing from our wedding,” she said, smiling as she stepped away.
The hospital intercom announced the end of visiting hours. They both groaned.
Buffy gave William a warm hug and a gentle kiss on the lips.
“Bye, William. I…I love you!” she said, smiling, happy, “I’ll see you tomorrow! I’ll see you every day, until we get you out of here!” she said, as she opened the door.
William didn’t know why he found it so hard to believe, but he was suddenly afraid to see her go, “You’ll come back? For me?” he asked so plaintively, that her heart almost stopped.
“I promise, I promise William, I’ll be back for you. I’ll never let you go again, never!”
“Miss, visiting hours are over!” a nurse said, as she finished pushing the door to Williams room all the way open.
“Please come back to see me, Elizabeth,” William said.
”I will, I’ll see you tomorrow. I Promise,” Buffy said on her way out the door.
Buffy kept looking back toward his room until she was forced to go out the double doors that lead to his ward.
She was smiling so broadly, she was sure her face was going to crack. She was so happy!
William, Spike! All the fears she’d had about seeing him, and he was still there. She knew him, even if he didn’t know her. She knew him! She still loved him. He might even love her, too. Like he did. Someday.
She was smiling like a fool, as she went down in the elevator to make her way to the ER, after first calling Dawn, Willow, and maybe even Andrew to let them know what was going on.
All of a sudden, life was wonderful!
“My Kind of Town, Chicago is…a Town that won’t let you down, it’s my kind of Town!” she hummed to herself.
END CHAPTER 34