Lost Memories

As they walked in the front door of the familiar hotel Willow was just a little shocked at it’s current condition. There was a thick layer of dust covering the counter tops and the sheets that sheathed the furniture. At least somebody had thought to try to protect at least that before allowing the once nice hotel to slowly start falling in on itself.

Looking around she noticed several of the windows had been broken. There was also some minor damage to the tiles in the entryway. She had a sneaking suspicion that had more to do with normal wear and tear inflicted upon innocently by-standing inanimate objects being unfortunate enough to be owned by those absorbed in the good fight. Goddess only knows how many times they’d made repairs to similar damages when they’d lived at Buffy’s house. However, the state of this place went a little beyond the expected roughness, but was just this side of uninhabitable.

There were some places where it looked as if the ceiling was close to giving way, but upon further inspection she realized it’d hold a while longer yet. The stairs were incredibly squeaky and she noticed several that were a little weak, or would need to be replaced all together. Fortunately it was summer so the broken windows and holes of various sizes in the outer wall were not causing as issue with warmth. They did, however, make the place a little less fortressy and safe, but then again, she was here with two vampires. Add that with the fact that she was quite capable of taking care of herself and she wasn’t really concerned with someone barging in.

They were in the hall now, on the first floor, and the need for repair was a little less obvious. “So, which room are you staying in?”

“Second floor, figured this place was big enough that there was no need for the pouf and I to have to keep running into each other. His room’s right up here, just going to step in and let him know we’ve got company.”

“K, I’ll come in with you, haven’t seen Angel since the whole re-ensouling debacle, the second time around. Kinda miss the great, broody lug.”

“Don’t think that’s such a good idea, ducks. He’s not much for entertaining these days.”

“Oh, ok. I mean, sure I can understand, world ending affairs can really take it out of you, and if you’ve been through it more than once……………….”

“Yeah, poor bugger lost everyone this time around. Knew what they were getting into before it all hit the fan, but they were something else, lot like you and the gang. Merry band of misfits, they were, but wouldn’t dare walk out on each other. In for a penny in for a pound and all that. When one stood up to fight, in this case Angel, they’d all fall in line behind, or beside as the situation might call for.”

“You keep saying ‘they’, but I have it on good authority that you were right there with them.” She smiled at him again and he was sure his insides had just turned to mush.

“Yeah, you know me, always ready for a spot of violence.”

“Yes, I’m sure that’s what it was.” She had a knowing look in her eye, but he was thankful that at least she didn’t call him out on his softness out loud.

“Anyway, Peaches has it in his head that it’s his fault. Blames himself for dragging humans into a fight they had no chance of surviving. Nevermind the fact that it would have taken an army to stop them. Stupid git.”

She could see the guilt clouding him as well, but chose not to point that out. He hadn’t boarded himself up in a dilapidated hotel and shut out the world, so she had a feeling he was at least dealing with it better than Angel.

“Ok, so you go in there and let him know that I’m here and I’ll wait out here like a good little girl.” The gleam in her eye along with the last few words propelled him toward the door, suddenly even more anxious to get her to his room for……………..explanations. He didn’t knock, never did, just let himself in. He found himself face to face with his grandsire in full game face, looking more like Angelus than he had even during his short soulless stint in Sunnyhell.

“What the bloody hell, ya ponce?” That was all he managed before he was savagely thrown against the wall and Angelus stalked past him like a man on a mission. It took him a minute to clear his head before he realized that he was heading straight for Willow and the growl he’d emitted upon swatting the younger vamp like a fly had been ‘How dare one of them come here.’

It was only a few steps, but with an enraged Angelus looming over his sweet little witch, it felt like the longest sprint of his unlife.

“Oh, hi Angel, Spike said you wouldn’t, um Angel, you do realize you’re all ’grr’…………..”

“Willow. Now you show up, huh? Now that the dust has settled and everyone that matters is dead? Now that Fred is lost not only in mind, but in body as well? Now that I’ve lost everyone I care about, everyone I loved. Couldn’t be bothered when you were actually needed, could you? No, too busy playing housedyke off somewhere in the Himalayas. People died Willow, good people, great people, you could have stopped it.”

“Angel, I didn’t…..” She was crying, but not because she was scared of him, but because he was right. She could have stopped. Could have saved them all so much pain, if only she’d known. But, that was no excuse, if she’d have been keeping up with them, keeping in touch with them like she should have, then she would never had have to rely on Giles to inform her of the situation the L.A. gang was in.

Now it was Spike’s turn to release the demon, and by the time he effectively pinned the barmy git to the ground he was fully vamped out as well. He knew that Willow could stand on her own if it got physical, but nobody was going to talk to his Red like that. Keeping Angel down wasn’t a problem. The man had been on a bender since they’d left the alley that night, but just for good measure, and because he was pissed at him for making his witch cry, he slugged him three times before sliding back and resting the weight of his body on the midsection of the man under him.

“Not her fault, mate, she didn’t even know what was happening. Not your bloody fault either, someone needs to tell you that, cause that’s what this is really about. They dedicated themselves to this life long before they followed you into battle. They’re gone, but they went the only way they knew how - as heroes, as champions, as warriors. They’re gone Angel, but we’re not, and they’d be right pissed to know that this is how you’re carrying on without ‘em” Spike’s face was inches from Angel’s now, and they’d both slipped back to their human guises some few minutes ago. Spike ran his hand gently across the older man’s brow and without caring about the consequences, or what Willow would think, he laid a soft but platonic kiss on Angel’s cheek.

He wasn’t sure if it was the truth of the words he’d spoken, or his momentary lapse in his not-so-real hatred of the other man, but Angel was suddenly sobbing into Spike’s shoulder. With a weary sigh and an apologizing glance up at Willow- who thankfully was no longer crying but looking at him as if he‘d lost his mind, he lifted Angel into his arms and headed back to the room he’d burst from earlier.

“Sorry, Red. Room 219 if you wanna go on up and wait on me. Won’t be long, just need to get the wittle baby tucked in.” The words were harsh, but his face was full of concern and affection for the man he was carrying so effortlessly.

“It’s ok, just…….take your time, take care of him, he needs it.”