All I Need...

* * * * * * * * *
Part 32

“I need you to get some of your people on this Spike thing as soon as possible, Deadboy,” Xander snapped as he stalked into Angel’s office. “I know you think it’s funny, but I can’t take it anymore!”

The vampire tried not to chuckle and managed it somehow, even while he finished signing the document before him.

He put down his pen slowly then let his gaze meet the deeply green brown eyes. “I don’t know what you think has changed in the last few days, Harris, but I can’t just…”

“You can and you will,” the man snarled, crossing his arms and glaring intently into that so-innocent stare. “He’s barely managing to hold on, and I know it even if you don’t! Hell, Angel, this is worse than when he had that damned chip in his head! At least then, he knew he didn’t have a choice! But between you not letting him hunt and me not wanting to risk him, he’s all…” He snarled again, wordlessly this time as he flung himself into one of the surprisingly comfortable chairs in front of Angel’s desk.

“I know what he’s feeling, Deadboy, and if there’s even a little tiny part of Angelus left inside you, then he knows, too!” His fingers clamped hard on the arms of the chair and he breathed deeply—once, twice, then once again before continuing.

“If this goes on much longer, Angel… Spike’s gonna lose it. He’s a demon, and okay, a demon with a soul, but… Christ, he needs to… fuck, I don’t know. Be himself, maybe! And he can’t do that when he can’t even feed from me, can he? And no, I don’t count the occasional nip and suck… and that came out so wrong, but you know what I mean!”

Strangely enough, Angel did know what the former Scooby meant. Spike—his Childe—had grown accustomed to hot, fresh, powerful blood. Addicted to it, maybe. And now… more or less cut off from his drug of choice, the boy was becoming obsessed, not to mention depressed.

Yeah, much as he hated to admit it, Harris had a point.

‘Damn right ‘he has a point’, you little bitch,’ Angelus snarled inside him, ‘You may like living on swine and bovine… Hell, you made us eat rats, for fuck’s sake! But this is Spike we’re talking about! Our Childe! And you’ve been just sitting there laughing at him while he’s gotten more and more desperate! What are you planning to do when he gets so fucking irrational he drains Xander? It won’t kill the guy, but what if that much of his blood does make our boy human again? Ever think of that, you self-righteous prig? Our family! Lost!’

If Angel had been able to see himself, he would have noticed his own gobsmacked expression right away. As it was, though, he had no idea that his reaction to his demon’s words was so obvious. Still, “I… I’ll get someone on it, Harris. Now.” was all he said.

He barely noticed the relieved look on the other man’s face as he reached for the phone. He was too busy listening to Angelus’ continued harangue, which was acquainting him very unhappily with some hard truths.

Angel was so distracted, in fact, that he didn’t even realize his demon had call the once-human ‘Xander’ rather than ‘boy’, ‘kid’, or even ‘Harris’.

* * * * *

Sixteen days of only small, shallow bites to his Xan’s fragrant flesh and Spike was well on his way to becoming a raging psychopath.

It didn’t help any that bloody Angel was acting entirely too amused by the whole situation, although Xander had managed to get the great brooding prat to turn a blind eye to the near-daily deliveries from the blood bank ‘round the way.

He supposed the human blood was better than nothing, but even if it had been fresh from the tap, so to speak, it still wouldn’t have come close to what he was being denied.

Hell, he was almost to the point of saying ‘sod all’ and taking his chances with turning human some day.

Unfortunately, his Xan was a stubborn git and he’d gotten it into his head that Fran and Ripper were right… or at least not necessarily wrong about the ‘possible repurcussions’.

All in all, it had been a bloody miserable couple of weeks, Spike groused silently, trying to distract himself from his thoughts—which he’d never call brooding, no matter what his enormous pile of shit GrandSire said—with the incredibly violent video game he was playing. It was mildly amusing and hadn’t even hit the market yet, simply because the game manufacturers didn’t have a strong enough rating for it… yet. Still, Angel had a few decent contacts and the game had been something of an olive branch, extended by way of apology for his constant sniggering at his Childe’s obvious discomfort.

“As if th’ great prat would have any idea of how this feels,” he grumbled, maneuvering his whore to inject her pimp with a lethal dose of high-grade heroin before cutting him open and stringing his entrails around the seedy-looking hotel room. He smirked just a little as he used the buttons and joystick to make the digital woman squat over the almost 3-D dead man and urinate on his face.

“ ‘Course he doesn’t,” he told himself quickly, “Because there’s never been another like my bloke, an’ even if there was, he or she wouldn’t care ta waste their time with a great neanderthal-browed wanker like my bleedin’ Sire!”

He supposed he should be glad that his love still bit him when they were going at each other, but as much as he enjoyed it—as good as it felt—it was starting to make him feel… left out, almost. His Xander could drink him down, swallow great shuddering mouthfuls of his essence, but all Spike could have was a few bloody drops? It wasn’t bleeding fair!

He tossed the controller away with a snarl, not even noticing when it shattered the ashtray on the table, spilling gray and black bits and dead cigarette butts across the glass.

“Right. This is through. Don’t care what happens ta me. Need ta… need ta…” and he couldn’t, so there was only one thing left to do.

* * * * *

He could taste the anger and confusion from a good fifty feet down the hall and it sped his steps quickly, though he didn’t want to run. He and Spike had enough speculation about their relationship already, considering they were still living in the Wolfram & Hart building and they’d obviously not even claimed yet.

Sure, their rooms weren’t on a general-access floor, but still, word somehow got around.

It was the loud, anguished and despairing cry his heightened hearing caught that made him run after all, though.

Feet pounded carpeting, covering the remaining twenty or so feet in mere seconds and Xander fumbled with his key for a moment before finally managing to unlock the door.

“Spike! Spike, what’s wrong?” he cried out, slamming the door behind him, his eyes darting wildly around the living room and finding nothing out of the ordinary aside from the broken ashtray and accompanying mess. “Spike!” he said again, demanding an answer this time.

The reply, when it came, was a whimpering growl rather than words, and Xander followed it swiftly, pausing for just a moment in the bedroom doorway.

He swallowed hard, eyes closing for a second as though hoping they’d open on a different scene—anything other than his vampire throwing clothes randomly into a large duffle bag.

“Spike?” he said softly, finding the view unchanged, “What are you doing, baby…?”

Golden eyes tried their best not to dart towards the beloved voice, but there was no helping it. Spike groaned softly, then pulled his gaze away, grabbing yet another pair of jeans from the drawer and tossing them into the bag, followed by a small stack of black t-shirts.

“Packing,” he finally allowed, his voice gruff and strained. “Need ta… get away from here, pet.”

Oh… was that all? Xander couldn’t help smiling. He hadn’t been thrilled with staying at the office building to begin with but it was the place his vamp called ‘home’, so he’d dealt. Now, though…

“That’s fine, baby,” he answered happily, “Just let me grab a few things and we can…” His voice trailed off at the shaking of the blond’s head, the hyena within suddenly snarling. “I… what… what’s happening here, Spike…?” he nearly whispered, hoping to put off his beast. Spike couldn’t be saying what it sounded like he was saying… He just couldn’t!

“Can’t drink ya, can’t do more than taste ya… smell ya all th’ time, ‘s like you’re right beside me with a vein open even when you’re not in th’ room… Bloody fuckin’ hell, luv, know why ya won’t let me; understand it, don’t I? But th’ demon, an’… an’ I can feel your blood just pumpin’ away, an’ I…” Spike growled, sharp teeth gnashing at the air. “If’n I don’t get th’ fuck away from ya, I… Bloody hell, Xan, I’ll just take ya! Drink ya down til there’s nothin’ left, til I’m full ta burstin’ with ya, an’…”

‘OURSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!’ the hyena shrieked furiously. ‘Oursssss thinksssss he can leave?! Thinkssss we will lettttt him leave…?’

That inner voice was so strong, so loud, so angry that all Xander could do was gasp, the surprise joining the sudden pain of understanding that his love meant to… “No,” he growled, his vision suddenly fuzzy around the edges, as though he was seeing through prisms of green fire, “Jussssssst… NO.”

The demon answered the growl without any intent on Spike’s part. “Protecting you,” he heard himself snarling as his eyes locked onto the Primal’s and some part of Spike—the soul, most likely—shuddered at the depth of the emerald sheen completely eradicating the usual brown. “Can’t have you!” he hollered.

“Can’t leave usssssss,” Xander and the hyena hissed, leaping across the six or so feet to tackle their mate onto the bed, the duffle bag hitting the floor as the mattress bounced it almost to the dresser.

Strong, tanned fingers dug deep into soft white-blond hair and pulled hard, holding Spike’s head in place as rough, blunt teeth dove harshly at and then into pale, soft skin, breaking through the first ever bite and breaking the scar wide open.

He came within moments, his cock going from soft to hard to spurting in perhaps five seconds, and still Spike couldn’t manage to make a sound. He was pinned there, the desperate bite holding him still just as much as Xander’s heavy, toned body was.

* * * * *

When he thought about it later—and he did—Xander had no memory of literally ripping the cotton and denim from his vampire’s body. He also had no recollection of the long, pale fingers tearing his own leather and silk from him. He would only know it had happened because of the shredded fabrics scattered about the room and the long, red marks on his own skin that remained for close to a day.

But that would be later.

* * * * *

The hyena was entirely too pleased with itself, was the first thing Xander thought as he swam up from his own depths and groaned. His ass was on fire, burning hotter and hotter as the wicked but still somehow loving snarls echoed through him in time with the vicious pounding his anus was receiving. “J-j-j-j…”

The demon was crowing, Spike knew, even as they slammed harder, faster, deeper into their mate’s bloody opening. Then again, so was he. It had been… too long since the last time he’d fucked his lover this way. Sixteen days, to be precise, and even then, he hadn’t been this out of control.

“Nnnnnnnghhhhhh…” he ordered, words beyond him for the moment, just as they seemed to be beyond his love.

Claw-like fingers scraped repeatedly up and down Xander’s ribs as Spike’s chest held him down. He could feel the trickles of thick, swiftly cooling blood flowing down the backs of his thighs, and… God, he didn’t care! He needed this, and his hyena had known it even if he hadn’t, and…

His hands grabbed roughly at the silken comforter beneath him as he pushed up, taking the next desperate thrust even deeper than the last.

More than two weeks of soft, sweet love-making, and it had been amazing, but not everything he’d needed, and obviously not everything Spike had needed either, and when had he become such a fucking moron that he’d denied both his own animal spirit and his lover’s demon just because of the feeding issues?

Not that it mattered now, he realized, because there was no way his Spike wasn’t going to drink him long and hard… and soon. ‘God, yessss… soon,’ he thought, still unable to form words outside of his own mind.

‘Goin’ ta bite ya, Xan… drink ya… can’t not, an’… don’t care what happens… worth it, luv… worth it ta feel ya flowing through me, fillin’ me up with everythin’ ya are, an’…’ he was counting his inability to speak as a good thing, considering the babble that was running through his mind. His hips moved faster, harder still, and if he hadn’t known his Xan would heal up in nearly no time at all, he would have been worried about the amount of blood slicking his way.

‘Love him,’ he heard from the demon part of him, ‘Won’t hurt him too much…’

And ‘Love him… need to taste him… belong to him, with him…’ from the soul.

He ignored the small sense of ‘soft soddin’ prat’ the demon sent the soul-- mostly because he was busy, but also because it felt like teasing—and lifted his chest from his bloke’s back, hips moving harder yet again as the new angle let him slam repeatedly into that spongy nub inside Xander’s ass.

“G-g-g-g-g…” he barely managed to straighten his arms, lifting his torso from the mattress as the already violent pounding became more so. Still, he found himself slamming back into each thrust, something inside him that was both the hyena and not… needing this. His cock was throbbing, pulsing, and all that was missing was…

He rocked back again, hard, his head tilting, offering the strongly defined cords in his neck to the souled demon plundering him, and when he felt the first prick of those teeth against his skin, he shouted incomprehensibly, letting loose streams of babble and hot, thick seed into the air, the latter splashing repeatedly onto the bed.

‘Drinkin’ ya, drinkin’ ya, oh bloody fuck, I’m drinkin’ ya, tastin’ ya for more than a moment and bloody fuckin’ hell, ya taste even better than I remembered and I can’t stop… God, help me stop, can’t hurt ya, won’t hurt ya, don’t want that… just want ya…!’ And the internal babble wasn’t gone yet, Spike realized, but then he smelled the unmistakable scent of his love’s release and…

He shuddered, shook, teeth driving a bit deeper as he slammed roughly into his bloke’s welcoming anus… and as a fresh burst of thick, rich blood filled his mouth, he emptied himself wildly and deeply with his beloved, unable to stop swallowing him down.

* * * * *
(A/N: As always, many thanks to those who reviewed the last part: TheShadowCat, BlazeBlade(so glad you're likingt), and nulimka (um... trouble? In one of MY S/X fics? Nah.. *sniggers*).

Love that I not only have repeat readers, but m also gathering new ones!

You all ROCK! )