Messing with His Head

Title: To Be or Not To Be A Dream
Series: Messing with His Head (MWHH) - Sequel to Spanking Clean (pervious title: Cleanliness), G’morning.
Author: Mera
Feedback: Do it… you know you want to! Please? lusciousspike@yahoo.com
Rating: Over-15 but just because I don’t want to corrupt any one with language.
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Summary/TimeLine: During Season 5 BtVS. Xander develops doubts over what had happened the night before, or what he thinks happened. Did his mind make him think he slept with Spike? But - why?
Disclaimer: The chars belong to Joss though I borrowed some… am going to keep them for sometime… give them tea and crumpets… maybe make them show me their sexy dance and if I ever get bored *snort* I'll return them.
Distribution: You want? Just ask, I swear I won't say no! I just want to know where they sleep.

Thanks as always to Farah for the quick read. And snuggles to Morgan for giving me the idea to the new title to the previous chapter and to noctuabunda for inspiring me to find the series name!


Italics & *& capitals = emphasize
~ = thoughts

*~*~*~*~*~*




It was all a dream.

Xander looked around the Magic Box, bored. Since Anya had left, Xander felt it was somewhat his responsibility to help out Giles in the shop- even a little. Thankfully, it seemed to be a slow day. Giles was shifting through the old books, organizing them into “To be sold” and “Keep locked up for emergency”. Dawn was frowning over her homework notebook; she still seemed to be sketching a horse with two heads of all things from what Xander had seen when had passed by her fifteen minutes ago. Willow, Tara and Buffy looked as if they were having their own study group in an effort to fill in the blonde slayer on classes she had missed when she helped her mother recover from surgery.

Xander sighed and rested his head on his hand against the glass countertop. He might just as well go back home than stand there doing nothing. He shuddered. On the other hand, an apocalypse might happen and he wouldn’t want to miss that.

He could still remember waking up in the morning, a little later than usual, but it was a Sunday. His eyes had opened up expectantly with a sense of dread.

Xander held his breath waiting for something, but nothing happened. He pushed himself off the bed, and sure thing, he was still naked. He rushed to his closet and pulled on his robe. After making sure he was covered, he began looking for Spike, stake in hand. It was the same sharp wood that he had crafted and hid under his bed for an emergency- and he wasn’t about to start thinking why he hadn’t used it last night.

He choked out, “Spike?”

Nothing.

Spike was nowhere. Not in bed. ~ Thank God! ~ Not in the bathroom. Not in the living room. And he double checked the large closet – making a mental note to throw away what shoes Anya couldn’t pack with his mini-TV – but zilch. It was as if Spike disappeared into thin air. Or--- burst into dust.

Xander looked around the floor for the signs of dust to find none. Alas, with the shades he had up in the apartment, the sun wouldn’t even singe the vampire.

~ Maybe he decided to disappear after he took my heterosexual virginity? ~ Xander thought coldly as he looked at himself in the bedroom mirror with a frown. He didn’t look any different. ~ But from what Spike said, I seemed to be the one who did the * gulp * taking. ~ Slowly, Xander turned his eyes towards the bed. With over-determined steps, he was at the bed. He bent over it without touching the sheets and ran intent eyes over the linen. They didn't seem to be--- soiled. But if he had – you know – to Spike then nothing of him would be – there, right? And for all Xander knew, vampires didn't --- leave ‘imprints’.

Xander shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was just thinking that.

~ I’ll burn the covers. ~

With a firm nod establishing what he was to do, he headed to the bathroom. A minute into cleaning his mouth, something hit him as 'off' as he was looking at his reflection in the mirror over the sink.

With a quick turn, he came face to face with --- no one. Xander pouted around the toothbrush and looked down at his toothpaste covered hand, a result of squeezing the tube in his unneeded excitement. In the movies, there was always a vampire standing behind the hero (or victim) without appearing in the mirror. It seemed real life was different.

He rinsed his mouth and cleaned his hand. He then recapped the paste. At that moment, the young half-awake man stood frozen, eyebrows drawn back as something hit him. The toothpaste had its cap on, when he distinctly recalled discarding it in the tub- it also might be the cause of his ungraceful spill. Brown eyes surveyed the bathroom and nothing seemed to be out of place. Xander even peered into the bathtub and it sparkled, no sign of his hasty shower mere hours ago.

His eyes turned towards the bathroom door, the one had Spike undoubtedly broke to enter and nock him unconscious.

~ Well, he was responsible for the manly bout of unconsciousness! ~

Xander’s heart thumped. The lock was untouched, in one piece and the door seemed to be in a similar state. He rushed into the living room where he was sure there were bottles of empty strong liquor scattered, he knew it, he remembered being crazy-drunk enough to invite Spike over for heavy nightcaps. And yet, the table was clean.

He twisted his route towards the kitchen. His mouth was dry when he opened the cupboard only to find the two glass bottles that were drained last night, filled to the brim with their crystal clear liquid. Xander’s hands gripped the counter to stop from falling . . . from fainting this time- out of relief.

~ Oh-my-God, it wasn’t real. It was all a dream. A delusion. Hell no. A freaking nightmare! ~ A grin split his face. ~ I didn’t sleep with Spike!! ~ He did a mental dance only because his feet felt a little wobbly. But he did have a hop in his step when he went to get dressed, now ready for a bright day with no drunken regrets.

Yep, it wasn’t real. It was all in his mind.

Xander scooted out of Giles’ way. But even when he felt normality return, he knew he couldn’t wait to get out of his own home. He needed to be as far away as he could get from that dream as well as the reason to start thinking why the hell would his crazy brain make up him and Spike having sex.

So, that was why he was here, bored to the point of contemplating asking Giles to teach him some fancy new expressions to “bored”. Of course, that as well as helping the Englishman with running the shop.

Xander smiled widely at Giles who frowned at him annoyed.

“Xander stop daydreaming and go ask that young gentleman if he requires assistance.”

~ I'm not daydreaming about Spike! ~ He wanted to scream. Then he blinked. ~ There’s customers? ~ Xander’s eyes surveyed the room. ~ Heh, what do you know, the night must bring out magic users. ~ He pushed himself up and followed Giles’ instruction.

While he was busy frowning at the young man’s description of the item he was looking for, the doorbell jingled, and Spike strode in. That was when Xander looked around wildly afraid that he was disturbing the room's inhabitants with the loud thumping of his heart. Thankfully, no one seemed to be paying him attention, well, if you exclude the hopeful look in the customer’s eyes. Xander smiled apologetically and asked him to describe what he was looking for once more.

However, even as the man was speaking, Xander was following Spike with his eyes. Thoughts of waking up with Spike next to him made themselves known, and oh so real. He watched as Spike casually flopped down next to Dawn smiling back at the young girl’s grin, without even so much as acknowledging Xander’s presence. It seemed that Dawn was waiting for Spike to help her with her history homework.

That didn’t set well with Giles who appeared upset that his slayer’s sister hadn't asked ask him for assistance, especially since it was about his motherland.

Dawn looked at Giles with a bored expression that only teenagers could affect. “Spike lived it.” And that seemed to be the end of it as she turned her back to the older man and started asking Spike about certain periods. Xander held back a chuckle when Spike shot Giles a raised eyebrow superior look to which his fellow Englishman returned with a blank one. Xander recognized it from being on the receiving end many times before. It meant that he was upset, but wouldn’t tire himself by bothering or wasting time over it.

“Uh huh, and what is it used for?” Xander asked the man in front of him, distracted. Spike looked normal. Like he had always looked . . . collected and composed. Not like he just had sex the night before with Xander. This was greatsince 'apparently' it was all in Xander’s head!

~ God! Why the hell am I still thinking about it?! It’s not like I remember the sex happening. And how messed up is that? ~

“Bloody hell! This happened like fifty years ago, why should I learn about it?” Dawn whined.

Buffy raised her head from her huddle with Willow and Tara.

“Dawn!” she chastised.

Dawn rolled her eyes and groaned theatrically. “Not like you haven’t said it or worse,” the teenager shot back.

Buffy then turned her attention to Spike with a threatening look at her sister’s use of British expletives. He just looked back bored before resuming helping Dawn. Well, that was new. Spike usually loved to exchange barbs with Buffy, whatever attention he could get. Buffy seemed a bit confused as well before shrugging it off and returning - albeit reluctantly - to her studies.

Spike leaned back in his chair and waved his hand as he told an enwrapped Dawn some story about him meeting this guy Dawn was studying, and how he was a pathetic trotter.

~ What does that mean? ~ Xander tilted his head and watched Spike’s hand move as he spoke. ~ Hm. Did Spike have black nails last--? ~

“--Yes, I believe we have that in stock. Xander!”

Xander snapped at Giles’ exasperated call. Strange. When did Giles start talking with the customer-guy?

“Bring a jar of Darsen leaves from the basement if you’re done being so preoccupied.”

Xander started to fidget. He was all but gaping at Spike. That was bad. Did anyone notice? Nah. Why would they? They never did notice him passed the 'we're sorry Anya left you but we never liked her' stage.

Nevertheless, didn’tý Spike go out of his way to look like he was ignoring him? Like more than usual? Xander ran his fingers through his hair. It was his evil imagination working on overdrive again. Why would Spike be as creeped out as he was about their evening together? Or why would he even look Xander’s way like he did everyone else? Spike even nodded acknowledging annoying-customer-guy!

Xander’s fingers tightened stiffly around his strands, making him wince in pain. It wasn’t like that 'gay thing' actually happened. Or that they had even shared the dream about the gay thing. Although, weirder things have happened in small town Sunnydale.

Xander’s floundering thoughts had only lasted a split second. “Uh, sure thing, G-ma--- uh, Giles,” he finished, correcting himself sheepishly at Giles’ warning stare before escaping to the basement.

Threading through the overstocked cellar, Xander started reflecting once more.

~ Okay. Better here than alone at the apartment. So, dream, nightmare, whatever. Why would I nightmare about Spike? ~ He flapped his hands around when he walked into spider webbing. ~ Ugh. Really doesn't make sense. Maybe Wills or Tara could make heads out of fangs from this weird ass dream? ~ He bit his lip worriedly and leaned closer to look at glass case with floating eyes that seemed to gaze at him, judgingly.

Xander crossed his arms huffily. "Bodiless eyes judge me?" He looked at them indignantly. "Well, you can't. See, since it's all you can do." Too bad no one was around to hear this crack; it was one of his good ones. "It's understandable if my mind decided to take the uber-pink fairy path that it would choose Captain Bright Head. Not only is he the only guy I hang out with outside of work who's kinda cool which right away excludes Giles – and don't dare pity me –" He shook his finger warningly. The eyes continued to float. "-but Spike is also strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled---" he mumbled, trailing off when the eyes seemed more amused than judging. He refrained from sticking his tongue and took the higher road and ignored them.

Now. Why was he down in this room talking to dead eyes? Xander smacked his forehead. Right. Goods for selling. He began checking the shelves for the item Giles told him to bring up.

~ Yuck. Mold. Why would someone jar mold? ~ He squinted his eyes at the tag. ~ Damn, five bucks? Maybe I can sneak back to my parents’ basement and sell Giles some of the mold there. I bet it’s more potent. ~

"Darsen leaves," he mumbled loudly. "What the hell are Darsen leaves?"

“These what you're looking for?”

Xander shrieked, jumped and turned around concurrently. Spike looked at him amused. “Spike?! Shit, sneak much?” Xander placed his palm over his erratic heart. “What the hell are you doing here?” he snapped.

Spike’s eyes turned upward. “Slayer kicked me out so I can smoke my ‘poison’ somewhere else.” He scoffed. “Not like she won’t conk out by some baddie at any day.”

Xander rolled his eyes. “Aw, you’re so considerate, aren’t you, Biteless?” The brunet young man was so proud of himself. He was worried that if he ran into Spike he would act freaked out about something that had apparently only happened in a dream, a result of his brain to some extent thinking that Spike wasn't that bad to look at. Nonetheless, he wasn’t freaking, he was acting like himself, and so was Spike. Xander wasn’t acting like he had sex with the blond vampire with the nakedness and the touching with the hands and the lips and Spike wasn’t after Xander for more since. It. Was. All. In. His. Head.

~ Man, Giles should really consider having an air conditioner down here. ~

“Harris?” Spike tilted his head, pulling back the boy's attention.

“I’m okay!” Xander choked out. “I mean-- yes?”

Spike waved the jar that had the label “Darsen Leaves” on it in front of him. The vampire had a rolled eyed annoyed look on as an indication of how ridiculously he thought the boy was acting.

Xander smiled somewhat relieved. All was right in the world, Spike thought he was an idiot and they didn’t have sex last night! It was all in Xander’s over intoxicated mind. Even if in fact there *weren't* any booze. “Uh, right. Um, thanks, Spike, I guess,” he stammered. Spike shook his head with a chuckle and held it out, eyebrows raised, waiting.

Right. He was supposed to take it. Xander grabbed at the jar. He then he watched detected from his own body as he was drawn forcefully forward. Smack into Spike’s chest.

~ Heh, my first déjà vu --- it’s scary. ~ Xander thought with a mad snigger. ~ Eep, cool and wet! ~

That would be Spike licking his neck and nibbling at his ear.

“Mmmm, miss me, Viking?”

~ Well, that puts an end to that, doesn’t it? ~ Xander thought, a little lightheaded and not a little perplexed.

Not a dream.


The End … (for a little while, Mr. Bunny Muse is teasing me!)