Time After Time Series

(Disclaimer: Not ours, Joss' *pout*)

A/N: "Time After Time" an episodic series, released once every four to six weeks, or whenever the muse takes us. Spike and Xander are soul mates, and they’ve met time and again in past lives. Each episode will contain a full story/flashback to at least one past life together, as told by newly ensouled Spike. Each episode will be completely different. Sometimes they will be human, sometimes one or both will be vamps, etc... If and when there are character deaths, it will be in the past life only, not current life where they are talking/exploring the past.

[Present]

With his shoulder under Xander's arm, Spike half dragged the boy into the apartment and put him down on the sofa. He wasn't bleeding or anything, just exhausted. Everyone was. Times were getting more desperate. So desperate that the Slayer was even trusting Spike to help train that house full of women. Women? More like Dawn times ten.

Since his resouling, he knew he wasn't quite 'all there yet,' and the noise they made and commotion... it didn't help him any. But they had no choice, none of them did. Buffy was right about that.

And if he slid into... if he started not making sense when he talked, Xander covered. Turned it into a joke. Odd that. How he'd use his jokes to deflect attention away from Spike when they were around people, and how he'd make Spike the butt of his jokes when they were alone. It meant he cared at least a wee bit, even if the whelp
wouldn't admit it yet. But he would... he always did. Only question was, how close to the end it happened.

Bringing a glass of water to the coffee table, Spike looked down into Xander's tired face. "C'mon Harris, you can drop the girl act. You're not hurt that bad." There was a question in his voice.

Xander gathered all the energy he could muster and glared up at Spike. "Sure, I'll just get up and dance a little jig for you." He noticed the veiled worry in Spike's eyes and smiled, hoping it looked reassuring. He wasn't sure why he wanted to make an insane vampire feel better but he was coasting through the river of denial and he was
not about to leave without good reason. "I'm just tired, Spike. Good night's sleep should fix me up."

Xander reached for the glass, still smiling his hopefully reassuring smile. His fingers closed around it but he seemed to lack the strength to pick it up. Spike's eyes widened and Xander hastened to say something to fix things before he was forced to realize...things. He didn't want to think about things yet. "Tell me a story. One of those shit ones you make up that are boring enough to help me sleep."

"Why." The silence stretched. "You don't believe them, so why do you want to hear Spike and Xander stories."

"Because I want to sleep," Xander promptly replied. "Come on, Spike be a pal, tell me a story. I'm tired and all wired and I'll just keep talking and talking until you finally give in so you might as well save both of us a lot of trouble and energy and just start yapping." Xander finished the sentence with a triumphant grin, practically vibrating with eagerness to hear what Spike had to say.

"Pal." There was a bitter edge to the word. He'd thought by now Xander would recognize the truth, maybe remember it. Instead, here he was telling him he thought these were tall tales... like background noise or music, something to put him to sleep. "If that's what you want." He capitulated.

Walking around the apartment, Spike shut the lights off one by one, eventually dropping down on the sofa next to Xander. "Look out the window," he said pointing to where the greenery and the tops of trees swayed against the window. "That's how it was back then... no houses, no road, no buildings. Just plants, and the sky above..."


[Past - Millions of years BC]

Xan walked stealthily through the forest, his bare feet silent on the ground. He caught a glimpse of Will, standing in the stream, a frown of concentration on his face as he stared at the water. Xan smiled and redoubled his efforts, trying to make himself as unobstrusive as possible. Today was their last day as boys. They were going on their
first hunt tomorrow, proving their manhood and taking their place in the adult assembly. Xan wanted to enjoy this day to the fullest and having Will concentrate on fishing was not the way he was going to go.

He reached the banks of the river, glanced at Will to make sure he hadn't been seen and, with an allmighty yell, he jumped him, pushing them both into the stream.

"Dumbweed!" Will cursed and pushed Xan down under the water, held him there for a minute, before letting him up. "I almost had it, it was this big," he opened his arms wide. "Now you alerted all the fish. What are you doing here anyway? I thought they'd have you hand fasted to Sera already." A frown marred Spike's face. "You and she can make baby monkeys together."

Xan came out of the water giggling. "Oh please, the ones you miss are always this big." He mimicked Will's gesture. "If they're that big, how come you keep missing them? Come on, Will, it's our last day! We should have fun!"

Xan deliberately ignored Will's question about Sera. He'd been like that since he'd seen Xan help Sera with her chores a couple of weeks ago. Xan wanted to tell Will what that had been about but he'd promised Sera he wouldn't so he ignored Will's questions and teasing.

"Missing them because a dinosaur foot like you churned the water." He shook the water off, hoping his loin cloth would dry quickly. The fur usually kept the water away from his skin but not when he took a dunk. "I'm hungry. I hope someone caught something because I've had enough fruits to last a lifetime."

He'd been told he was seventeen turns old. He had counted ten winters himself, and it made sense. His mother had died in the child bearing, and Xan's mother and other women had cared for him. Now it was time for him to care for them, leave the caves on long hunting journeys and keep them fed. He looked forward to leaving. He couldn't stand the nights. His gaze lingered on Xander for a short time, then he stomped off angry at himself.

"Hey! Where are you going? We're supposed to be having fun!" Xan ran after Will, throwing an arm around his shoulders when he reached him. "Come on, Will, don't be like that, I was only having a little fun. You dunked me too, so we're even."

Xan couldn't remember a time when Will wasn't with him. They'd grown up together, as close as any boys could be. At least, Xan had thought they were close but lately Will had been avoiding him. He was always stomping off, leaving Xan to follow and try to make things better, even when he didn't know what he'd done wrong. "We should have fun, Will, after tomorrow it'll be work work work, hunt hunt hunt."

"More fun than staying around here to watch you... nothing. Let's go find some strong flint for our spears heads. We'll need them tomorrow. I want us to bring in the biggest kill of the whole group." Two other pairs of hunters were going to set out and not be allowed back unless they brought food. It was the way of their tribe.

"Guess you're already work work work," Xan complained, pouting slightly. He briefly contemplated going back to hang with Sera and her friends, one more look at Will's retreating back made up his mind. He missed Will, was sure to miss him even more after tomorrow. If he didn't want to hang out with Xan now, what were the odds of him
wanting to when he had his pick of hunters to join.

"We'll show the lot of them Will, you'll see. Between your brain and my brawn we'll be the best."

"Hey, why do you get the brawn... my brawn, your brain," he answered, curling his arm to show off his bulging muscles. But in truth Xan beat him in the muscle department. He'd watched the guy often enough, loved the lines of his thighs and the curve of his ass. And that old loin cloth was getting too small, thank the fire gods...

"Are you saying that you have no brains then?" Xan teased, grinning at Will. "'Cause I don't have any problem with that!"

"You're still a dumbweed," he nudged Xan with his shoulder. "I've got the brawn and the brain, you've got the... bigger mouth, that's it." Holy fire gods, why did heat curl in his stomach when he thought of Xan's mouth. He was going to be thrown out of the clan... he was if he continued like this.

"Always had a big mouth," Xander agreed easily, "it got us into trouble so many times you'd think you'd get used to it by now."

"Yeah... you'd think." He swallowed. "Changed my mind, I'm going for a swim." He turned around and headed back for the water, needing to take care of his aching manhood one way or another.

Xan watched Will leave, wondering what he'd done to make him mad. He always seemed to be watching Will leave lately and he wasn't sure how to stop it.

*

Everyone's furs were spread around the fire in the large cave. Most had already eaten, but some were still passing around bits of meat and bone, licking their fingers, wiping them on the furs.

Leaning against the cool wall of the cave, Spike watched. It started now. The furtive glances between the men and the women. Arrangements made as to who would rut with whom. If two men eyed the same unattached one, the bigger or more aggressive male would pull his furs up close to her...wait to see if a fight would ensue.

It was a dangerous hour. During the day, they worried about the beasts roaming around. At night, they worried about jealousy and raised tempers. Though that was only a problem for those who didn't accept the pecking order. Spike didn't care who was left over. Most nights, he didn't share his furs at all.

Xan leaned back against the wall of the cave, watching the proceedings with interest. At first, when he'd just discovered he could feel good with another body close, he'd taken every offer directed his way, eager to experience as much pleasure as he could. Anyone not in a family group was fair game and Xan had been anxious to play. Things
were different now though, he'd had his taste and he couldn't be bothered to repeat the same things over and over again. Besides, he'd promised Sera he'd help her make Mar jealous, he couldn't very well go rut with another woman.

He caught Sera's eye and motioned towards the back of the cave. He didn't want to sleep in the same furs but they had to look like they were doing something or Mar would be onto them. Despite Xan's vehement statements to the contrary, Mar wasn't as dumb as he looked. Sera nodded and Xan casually got up and sauntered back. Nobody would be
able to see them back there and they could get some sleep while the others' imaginations run wild. He smiled at Will as he went past, his smile fading when Will glared and turned his back to him.

Soon the fire died down, little flames flickered off the walls. The grunting started. Furs moving, legs protruding out of them. Whimpers and guttural cries. Since Xan had moved his bedding to the back of the cave, Spike couldn't see Xan. But looking at another couple, he knew exactly what was happening in the furs... saw it in his mind's eye.

Xan's hands were now pushing her suede coverings off her breasts and away from her womanhood. Xan's manhood hardened and thick, just like Spike had seen it on occasion. It made Spike ache right there to think about it.

Another set of furs started moving, jerking back and forth, the male grunting out his pleasure. Like Xan... fucking that Sera, fucking her so hard, so desperate. Spike's hand went to his own manhood and stroked to the beat of the couple, angry, desperate, and visualizing Xan under him. Eventually, he closed his eyes and got lost in himself.

Xan cuddled close to Sera, sharing body heat and trying to relax. The drawback to being at the back of the cave was the loss of heat from the fires and the people.

"D'you think Mar is buying this?" he whispered, looking back towards the main part of the cave.

"Oh yeah, he's been antsy and angry for a week now. Ever since we started this he barely says two words to me without snarling about something." Sera giggled, proud of herself for coming up with such a great plan. Mar had been courting her for weeks but he hadn't spoken to the elders yet. Every time Sera asked he would put it off for some
reason or another. "He just needs a little push and then he'll claim me to the elders."

Xan agreed with Sera, moving the conversation on. He had the feeling he was missing something, like Sera's words were supposed to remind him of something he'd missed. He was drifting off to sleep when the answer came to him. Mar was acting like Will!

*

Spike woke to pokes, nudges, and kicks. It was morning, though the sun wasn't up yet, and he and the other boys were being awakened. Springing up as quickly as he could, he headed for his hunting equipment. Last nights meal would have to last until he and Xan found food.

Xan woke up, a smile lighting his face as he remembered what day it was. Today he would prove he was a man! He would go out hunting with Will, make his first real kill. He nudged Sera awake and went to find his spear. He grabbed it and ran towards Will, grinning at him and waving his spear around.

"Come on Will, get your stuff we have to go!"

"I've got it," Will turned. "You smell like flowers," he spat out. So did Sera. "You're going to scare away the animals in the forest."

"Don't yell at me!" Xan snapped back, glaring at Will's retreating back. After a lot of thinking he'd come to the conclusion that Will was jealous of him for being with Sera. "It's not my fault she picked another guy okay? And it's not even me so don't yell at me. Yell at Mar!" With one last glare Xan stomped off, muttering under his breath.

Will accepted the pack that the women had prepared for them and then took off after Xan. It was early morning, both were in moods. It might be better not to talk for a while, he thought, following slightly behind Xan. It would be a while before they reached good hunting grounds, but they had to be vigilant as soon as they cleared the mountainous area that provided them with protection from the wildlife.

Xan walked fast, providing a running commentary in his head about the stupidity of his best friend and the injured innocence of his own actions. He was intensely aware of Will walking behind him, silent and stiff.

I mean, she asked me to help! I've known her as long as I've known Will, what was I supposed to do, tell her 'no'? As if I'm any good at doing that. How was I supposed to know Will wanted her, not like he ever told me anything about it.

"It's not like it's my fault Sera wants Mar and not Will, why does he have to yell at me for?" Xan kicked a stone off his path, not even realizing he'd said the last part out loud.

"Don't move." Will whispered, and looked around, high up above their heads, and into the ever thickening carpet of trees. "Something is with us." He was right, he knew it when the birds took flight, screeching their panic.

Xan froze, his eyes darting around the forest, looking for the danger. He suddenly found himself staring into amber coloured eyes. Angry ones. With big sharp teeth a couple of centimetres below.

"Uh-oh."

"Fuck... don't move, Xan. Not until I say." Slowly moving around the cat, Will aimed his spear, and watched as Xan slowly did the same. He picked up a few large stones, "Now, get out of the way!" he called out, pelting the cat to either draw its attention away from Xan or make it run.

It hissed and spat. Before it attacked, both boys ran toward it with their spears pointed.

Xan's heart was beating so hard he thought it would jump out of his chest at any moment. He yelled out the warriors' cries and threw rocks at the lion, trying not to let fear come over him. They could smell fear, the elders had said, do not let them realize you are afraid. The lion retreated a few steps and Xan's heart lifted.

"Come on, give chase... he's our hunt, he's the one we'll bring back to camp." They ran, side by side, spears pointing forward, they ran after the animal. They worked in tandem, checking for signs to follow as they tracked the beast. Finally, they reached a point where they had to stop. Leaning over and taking deep breaths, William rasped.
"We'll find it tomorrow."

"Stupid beast runs too fast," Xan agreed, slumping against a tree. "Want to stay here for the night? It's growing dark and we need to catch at least a rabbit for dinner."

"That hungry, are you?" Will dug into the pack and threw some dried fruit to Xan. "Stole it on the way out. Don't tell anyone." He grinned, and picked up a sharp tool for when they found this rabbit of Xan's.

They hunted separately for a while. Small animals were quite plentiful. When they met back at the camp, he had a bird, and Xan had a hare. Making short work of both animals, they prepared a spit and barbequed their meals.

Soon, they sat by the fire, eating to their heart's content. Will's gaze lingered, when Xan licked his fingers. Oh no... not another night of torture.

Xan cleaned his fingers with his tongue, chasing the last delicious taste of the warm meat. He closed his eyes to better savour the taste and sighed happily when he was done.

"That was delicious," he murmured, eyes half closed and sleepy. "Gods I need to sleep. Sera wouldn't stop talking last night and I barely got any sleep at all."


That was just what Will wanted to hear. All night long...."You'll get more sleep tonight, then. Not much for talking right now." He started clearing away the spit, and making sure the fire wouldn't die down and night. It would deter more than attract animals to their camp, and he did want to get rid of the food... put it elsewhere for the scavengers.

As he worked, from under his lashes, he watched Xan fix his bedding. At least he wasn't going to get into it with anyone. Dragging his gaze away, he buried the last of the bird and rabbit bones.

*

Xan woke up in the morning, full of energy and happiness. One more day hunting with Will was in itsefl a reason to be happy. Add to that their intended quarry and Xan was about ready to burst out of his skin with happiness.

"Come on Will, wake up, time to track the lion."

Xan started packing away their stuff, tossing a couple of pieces of fruit to Will as he went.

Will gave him a dark look. Why did he let the dumbweed get to him? Why? All these years, everything had been fine between them. But lately, he wanted things. Things Xan gave to girls like Sera, and all the others. Maybe after the hunt, Will would grab his things and go find a new family. One that didn't make him feel angry and tense all
the time. One that didn't make him cry when no one could see. "This way," he said, marching ahead.

* * *

[Present]

Spike had worked his way closer to Xander on the sofa. He hand is arm on the back of the sofa, and Xander was slightly leaning against him, blanket tucked under his chin. It looked like the boy had forgotten how badly he was feeling and instead was paying rapt attention. No use letting him think of this as just some old fairy tale to listen to. No, he needed to do a bit of critical thinking here, or else Spike was wasting his bloody breath.

Clearing his throat, Spike looked over at Xander. "All that anger, the tension, all the cursing and hurled insults.... you know why, don't you?"

"They liked each other!" Xander declared, smiling happily. He was tired and sore and lying against Spike like that made him remember of a time when he was a kid. He'd been sick and Willow had come over with chicken soup and story books. They'd sat just like this and Willow told him stories until he fell asleep. "It's good when people like
each other," he added unconsciously pushing closer to Spike. "Did they get the lion?"

"Will liked him more than you're thinking. Just like Xander likes Spike more than you think," he drawled, and quickly jumped back into the story.

[Past]

They'd speared a wild boar, but it had run off with the spear still stuck out of its side. Will cursed up a storm, he'd wanted to be done. Finished with the hunt and no longer alone with Xan. Xan who looked at him with soulful eyes, who was hurt by his words, bewildered. Xan who kept trying to talk to him, who touched his back and tried to make him feel better, but only made things worse. Xan, who insisted on a lion as their prize, and who was now making a foolish dance around the fire and begging him to join in. Shaking his head, Spike finished burying the remnants of their second night's dinner.

Seeing that Will wasn't going to join in the fun, Xan dropped to the ground and tried to figure out what to do. He wanted to tell Will the truth so that he would stop looking at Xan like that. Maybe even go back to laughing with him a little. He'd promised Sera he wouldn't say anything but this was Will! His best friend. He'd dropped a couple of
hints but Will didn't seem to get them.

"She doesn't really like me like that," he finally blurted out, glaring at Will, "so you don't have to be mad at me for that. She likes Mar, be mad at him. And even if she did I thought we were good enough friends for you to be happy for me. Guess I was wrong."

Will threw back his head and laughed. It wasn't a nice laugh, he was laughing at Xan and at himself. Xan actually thought that he wanted Sera and was jealous of her. "I don't care who likes Sera, she has a face like the arse of a baboon. You can have her, Mar can have her, the entire clan can have her. I certainly don't want her."

Just when Xan thought he had everything figured out, Will turned it all around again, leaving him as confused and bewildered as ever. If Will wasn't jealous then why was he acting like that?

"Then what's your problem? Have I done something so horrible that you hate me now? I don't understand."

Dropping down on the ground, Will unrolled his furs then sat cross legged facing the fire. He felt Xan's gaze, and only then realized an answer was expected. "No Xan, I don't hate you. I don't hate you at all."

"Then why are you acting like this?" Xan insisted, "If you're not jealous and you don't hate me, why do you yell at me and ignore me."

I should tell you and give you nightmares, so you're the one staying up at nights. Spike's jaw ached. "I don't know Xan. I guess something must be wrong with me."

Xan snorted and pointed accusingly at Will. "Oh yeah, something wrong with you. That's why you're nice to everyone but me." He was determined to get to the bottom of things before they went back home, where Will could hide between the tribe.

"It's late. The moon is high. We need to get some rest." Opening up the bed furs, Spike crawled inside and lay on his side. What was he to say anyway?

Xander watched Will for a moment before getting inside his own furs. He closed his eyes and turned away from the fire and from Will. "The way I see it, either you hate me but don't want to tell me you do. Or you're possessed by some kind of demon, in which case I'm going to take my chances and go back home alone tomorrow. Either way...I'm gonna miss having you as a friend Will. Thank you for being one until now."

Xan allowed a trembling quality into his voice. It'd always worked in the past. If he so much as looked like he was about to cry Will would be at his side in seconds. If he still cared for him even a little, Will wouldn't leave him alone and upset.

Will hardened his heart. Refused to hear the shake in Xan's voice. Told himself everything would be fine. Tomorrow, he'd talk him out of going back without a worthy kill. He didn't want Xan shamed. He could never let that happen. He wouldn't.

Eyes focused on the boy, he saw him wriggle around. The motion bringing with it a familiar ache. An itch that would never be scratched. He gripped a handful of fur, hoping it would pass. Maybe

if he closed his eyes... maybe then he wouldn't see Xan's shoulder's shaking--

Will sat up abruptly. "Xan, are you crying? Xan?" Kicking off his furs, he started to crawl toward his friend.

"What do you care," Xan muttered, just loud enough to be heard. "You're either a demon or you hate me."

He was well aware of the fact that he sounded like a petulant child but he couldn't help but feel exactly like that. At least his plan seemed to be working as Will reached out to touch his shoulder. Xan shook the hand away, burying himself under the furs.

"Xan..." he touched him again, lightly, "I don't hate you, and I'm not a demon, I swear I'm not." Had he really made him cry? Swallowing hard, he stroked the only part of Xan that was visible, his dark hair. "Look at me. Please don't cry, I couldn't stand it."

Xan sighed softly as Will's fingers combed through his hair. He loved being petted, his mum used to tease him about being a cat spirit in disguise with the way he arched into the sensation. He made a show of wiping his eyes and half-turned to Will, making sure to keep his face away from the fire light.

"Sleep with me? Like when we were kids? Please, Will I promise I won't ask for anything, you can go back to hating me in the morning."

He was surprised by how much he needed this contact between them, some kind of tangible proof that Will wasn't really mad at him. Despite Will's words, Xan knew he didn't want to be his friend anymore and he wanted to at least have good memories of this hunt to remember after Will stopped talking to him.

It was a bad, bad idea. He'd wanted to do this for how long? For once, to be the one who crawled into Xan's bed coverings. To be the one who kissed him. The one who drew those needy sounds from him. And now, Xan was asking him into his bed. To sleep. Bad idea.

Maybe he really was possessed by a demon, because here he was lifting the covers and rolling inside. Xan's body heat surrounded him. His heart kicked up a notch as he moved closer and found himself pressed against Xan's back. There was nowhere to rest his hand, so he put it around the guy's waist. By the fire gods, that was a mistake

His fingers rested against soft warm skin, stretched taut over muscle. It made him want to duck his head under the covers, to kiss Xan's abdomen. Fuck... he was going to go crazy if he didn't fall asleep.

Xan smiled and snuggled down to Will, feeling more at peace than he had in years. He quickly fell asleep, smile still on his face as he held his friend close.

What seemed like minutes later, Xan slowly became aware of his surroundings again, feeling a warm body lying against him, his morning need pressed against firm muscle. He frowned, wondering who had shared his furs the night before, lazily moving against them. By the time he remember who it was, he'd grown fully hard and the mere realization
that it was Will made him that much harder. Shocked at his own reaction, Xan stopped moving and hesitantly whispered Will's name.

Will had stopped stroking himself the minute he felt Xan come awake. But now his body was raging, and Xan was calling his name, and his mind was a haze of confusion. Lifting up, he leaned over to tell Xan he was going to his own furs, but when their gazes met in the early morning light... he just couldn't. "Xan," he croaked, before moving
over him completely, and covering the guy's mouth in a kiss.

I'm kissing Will. Xan tried to make sense of that thought but his brain seemed to have been highjacked by Will's lips and tongue and body. He could feel Will press against him, wet and hard and so damn good Xan had to thrust up to meet him. He closed his eyes and gave in to the feeling, opening his mouth and responding to Will's kiss, his hands restlessly gripping the furs under him.

Only in his dreams did Xan kiss him back. He'd expected to be thrown out, even challenged. Instead Xan was letting him have his way, letting him taste him, feel his mouth from the inside, even letting him rub up against his groin in an effort to get some relief. Maybe he was still dreaming. Maybe he wasn't.

But he didn't care. He was getting what he'd wanted for so long, needed. Maybe there would be price to pay. But now his mind was on other things. Like how good it felt to have a man under him, Xan under him. How pushing his leg between the guy's legs and pressing forward got an immediate reaction, how Xan surged against him, how
heat spread from his center.

It wasn't enough. Holding the side of Xan's face, he kissed him harder, invading his mouth, taking everything Xan would give him, and more. Don't ask me to stop, please don't.

Xan wasn't sure what was going on, all he knew was that there was a hell of a lot of pleasure and he wanted more of it. No longer content with just lying there he put his hands on Will's shoulders and flipped him over, immediately following him, lying over him and pressing down.

"Want more," he said, his mind too clouded to form a proper sentence. He looked down at the body beneath him, not sure what to do with it. He was used to softer, curvier flesh. Xan frowned, trying to find a place to start. He trailed his fingers down Will's chest, pressing them lightly against his skin. Maybe the basics were the same...he
looked up at Will's face, his fingers finding a nipple and rubbing over it.

Eyes burning, Will gripped Xan's wrist, held fast for a minute, then dragged his hand down between them, placing it over his cock. He closed Xan's fingers around himself, gasping with pleasure. When nothing happened, he raised his hips, nudging Xan.

Xan looked uncertainly at his hand, feeling a little disconnected from what his eyes were seeing. What was he supposed to do with that? He'd played with his own cock, curled his fingers around it and explored until he couldn't resist his release anymore but he'd never touched another man's.

"Please," Will whispered, his voice husky and thick with desire.

He looked up, caught in blue eyes filled with need and his hand automatically curled, wrapping around Will's erection. Guess I'll have to play and learn. Xan tried out everything he'd done to himself, biting his lip in concentration, all the while watching Will's face to see the effect of his actions. He barely realized he was thrusting against Will's thigh, his own pleasure merging with the sheer bliss in Will's eyes.

Will made a concentrated effort to raise his thigh up, rub it against Xander to give him the same pleasure. Sounds started to break from the back of his throat. This was so much better than touching himself, and imagining it was Xan. The pressure built. A frenzied heat took him over. Will didn't think he could take anymore. Suddenly, he shoved Xan's hand away and rolled him over. Shoving his loin cloth all the way away from Xan's ass, he gripped Xan's hips, held him in place, and rubbed his arousal against his entrance.

Xan's eyes grew impossibly wide as he tried to sit up, pushing his ass against Will's cock in the process. This was weird! Very weird.

"Will what are you-"

His question was interrupted as a particularly vigorous thrust pushed his pelvis down and rubbed his cock against the fur. Xan moaned at the feeling, ignoring the weirdness in favour of the pleasure. Once he got used to it, the feeling of Will pressing against him...there, was good, better than good. "Damn great," he mumbled, a strangled groan
escaping him as Will snaked a hand under him and gripped his cock. "Don't stop, Will. Please don't stop."

Thrusting and stroking Xan into a mindless state, all Will wanted was to get inside him, to crawl deep inside Xan and never get out. The wait was torture, but he was used to torture, used to watching instead of having his way. And when Xan's mutterings became senseless begging, he pushed inside in on stroke, groaning at the tightness
surrounding him, the heat. This was what every dream, every glare, every hatful word had been about. His desire, need to be the one riding Xan... his jealousy ... that it was always Xan riding the girls.

Xan fought back a scream as he was suddenly more full than he'd ever been. He stilled, confused and scared, but then Will did something and the pleasure was back, stronger than ever. Xan thrust forward into Will's fist and then back to get more of that feeling, his body working independently of his mind, chasing the end he could feel coming closer with every stroke.

When the fire gods were angry, the mountains shook and erupted, shooting red hot flames. Anger was the last thing on Will's mind as he exploded like the mountains, heat burning out all thoughts and coherence. He mumbled things, said things to Xan he probably shouldn't have. Heard Xan's answers, but understood not a word. And then it
was over. His frenzied movements slowed and he eased out of Xan and rolled over on his back. Black bird in the skies above. A bad omen.

Xan relaxed, mind and body slowly coming down from the high he'd just experienced. He had never felt like that before, hadn't come so completely undone with anyone else. There was a dull pain in his ass, a wet spot under his right hipbone and he was pretty sure he would suffocate if he didn't turn his head to the side. All-in-all, not a
usual hunting night for Xan.

"What just happened?" he finally asked, trying to keep his voice calm and collected.

"Nothing. You were just dreaming. Just a dream." Putting his hands behind his head, Spike looked rebelliously at the sky.

"My ass doesn't feel like it was just a dream, Will." Xan snapped. He had no idea what just happened but Will damn better take him seriously.

"I don't know Xan. You made me sleep with you, and then I just wanted to kiss you, and then you were kissing me... what do you think happened?" Will sat. "I won't tell anyone. And you're better off if you think of it as a dream." There was a bitter taste in his mouth. "You're going to be this great hunter, with many wives and babes."

Xan jumped up, nearly tangling his foot in the furs and falling over. He straightened himself quickly, and stood, hands on hips, glaring at Will.

"We just did," his hands waved around energetically, "stuff! Hot stuff! Sex stuff! How...what...how...Gods, Will, aren't you even remotely upset about this?"

"No. The animals do it, why can't we? Because some of the elders don't like it?" His chin jerked up. "You thought it was hot too? Like the volcanos?"

"That is so not the point, Will! We did it. Not some random pair of males, it was us and you hate me as it is, you're gonna loathe me now. A-and it was weird! Good weird but weird and oh my Gods, I was the girl!" Xan's eyes widened at the realization and he felt his whole body go red with embarassment.

"No... not at all like a girl, Xan. I don't like girls... I don't like to do that with girls, I never did," Will's voice caught. He'd never told anyone before, and hadn't intended to tell Xan. "There are clans east of here where I've heard tell that they are accepting... after I help you with the hunt, I think... I think I'm going to go. Now stop acting like a bloody girl, worrying about it all morning. Roll up your things, we have to go."

"You're going to what?!" For the first time in his life Xan was too angry to speak, he spluttered a moment, trying to find words to tell Will what he thought about that plan but all power of communication seemed to have deserted him. He upped his glare and started packing his things with jerky movements. He would deal with
Will after they got the lion. As angry as Xan was at the moment, the beast didn't stand a chance.

"It's for the best. I always know what's for the best." He strapped his gear with some twine and added, "alright, probably slipped up this one time."

*

They'd had fights before. They'd been angry enough to wrestle and draw blood. They'd called each other names, hurt each others' feelings and made each other feel the fool. But never before had there been this tense discomfort between them.

It ate at Will. He stole glances at Xan, but didn't say a word, other than when they discussed trail left by the lion. Even then, they were using more hand gestures than words.
If only last night and this morning hadn't happened. But then, he might never have known for sure why he stopped belonging when they'd grown up.

Thinking this much was bad for you. You couldn't concentrate on other stuff. And letting your eyes tear up was bad too. Walking half blind was a worse idea. Will moved some thickly hanging folliage that was in his way and walked under the tree. The black bird had been a bad omen.

Xan kept quiet for most of the hunt, scared that if he opened his mouth he'd say things he would regret, maybe even drive Will away that much faster. He shook his head, chasing those thoughts away. Need to catch the lion first. Then I'll deal with the idiot.

When Will asked him later, Xan would say that he had no idea what'd happened next. All he could remember was a flash of golden fur and a roar and feeling like his heart was being ripped out of his body. Then the lion was lying dead and Xan was frantically pressing Will's thigh together, trying to get the gash to close. By the time he'd managed to
find the plants and herbs he needed, Will was looking alarmingly pale. Xan had prayed and demanded and begged every spirit he could think of to keep his Will safe, not even noticing the possessive prefix. All he knew was that he needed Will to be okay.

Will was hot, and sweaty, and everything was wrong. Black birds covered the sky. Huge beasts screeched out their death calls. The ground rumbled and shook, yet again breaking the things the clan built. Rivers swallowed him up, spit him out and swallowed him again. The clouds thundered. And throughout it all, Will heard his name.
Over and over. He knew that soft gentle voice. He heard its call, and tried to find it, to follow it. It came from far, but it was clear.

Blinking, he forced his eyelid's open. "Xan... did it eat me?" He was afraid to check his painful limb.

Xan muttered a quick thank you to whoever had brought Will back. "No, you're all there. Every single bit of you." He smiled, fighting the urge to laugh, if he started laughing he would never stop. "It didn't get so lucky however," he added and pointed to the carefully packed sacks and the golden fur. "I figured we earned the right to take it home so I skinned it and cut it up. Was waiting for you to wake up so we could start for home."

"Okay, let's go before it rots." Will promptly fell back into a deep sleep, protected from the agony he'd awakened to.

*

Xan sat in the honorary seat, Will sitting right next to him, smiling and chatting with everyone who came their way. They'd come back to the clan and were welcomed as full adults and hunters. The usual celebration was held a few days later, to give Will some time to heal.

The only cloud in Xan's sky was the way Will would lean away from him every time he tried to get close. After the fever had broken, Will had withdrawn from him and no matter how many conversations Xan started he only got monosyllabic answers to his questions. All his efforts to get Will alone to talk about what happened were foiled with insulting ease and now Xan was very nearly at the end of his tether.

In stark contrast to Xan, Will quietly watched the others enjoy themselves and only participated in conversation when spoken to directly. Even excited requests that he tell the story of how he was attacked by the lion failed to draw one of his exaggerated and funny tales out of him. The problem was... he was leaving, and he already felt like he didn't belong anymore. Tomorrow, these people, his friends, his clan, would be angry that he'd left them, that they'd lost another male who could help keep them fed, and bring more babes into their clan. The latter made him snort. He liked the girls fine, but he didn't want to have sex with them, not really. The few times he'd done it, there had been no way out of the situation. And now that he'd had a taste of what he'd only dreamt about before...

He stole a glance at Xan, felt a lump grow in his throat. Xan was meant for the women. Look at them circling him like scavenger beasts... look at him ... loving every moment of it. He didn't want to see this, not really.

As unobtrusively as possible, he slipped out of his seat and silently walked into the woods. Maybe he'd take one final dip in the hot springs nearby. He'd miss those as well.

It took Xan a few minutes to realize that Will had wandered off. He'd been busy fending off the women's advances, trying to spare everybody's feelings. Ever since that night with Will he'd been too confused to do anything and Will refusing to talk about it had only made Xan even more bewildered. With a determined look on his face, Xan traced Will's steps, intend on having this out once and for all.

His determination faded as soon as he reached the springs. Will was standing in the water, moonlight catching the drops of water on his body, his arms lifted to push hair out of his eyes. He looked...breathtaking. Xan stood and stared, feeling his cock harden at the sight and the memory of what that body had done to him.

Something changed in the air, his hunter's senses were on alert. But then he saw him... Xan standing there, staring at him. Questions in his eyes and a loing cloth that wouldn't lay flat. Will closed his eyes to the sight. He's not for me. "What are you doing here, Xan. They're gonna miss you."

"You left again." Xan tried to make the statement sound accusing and terse but his body failed him and the words emerged soft and sad. 'I miss you,' he tried to say but Will moved and between his brain and his mouth the words tranformed, "I want you."

"Welcome to my world."

Xan walked closer, coming to a stop at the banks of the springs, close enough to touch Will. He looked longingly at him, his hand coming up to touch and dropping down again.

"Can I?" he asked softly, unsure of his reception. Will had been so different lately, by turns ignoring and yelling at him, Xan was no longer sure what Will felt for him.

"Yeah..." he nodded, his gaze fixed on the hand that had almost touched. The thought alone sent a tingle down his body. "You're going to make this hard, are you?" he asked hoarsely.

"Already hard," Xan mumbled, automatically reaching out again, his hand drifting up Will's arm, down to his chest, exploring slowly.

He could close his eyes, but closing his heart was much harder. Pretending he didn't feel the things he was feeling, or wanting Xan every living breathing moment, that was hard. "Goodbyes are always hard," he murmured, suddenly putting his hand on the side of Xan's face. Angling his mouth over Xan's, he thrust his tongue inside in a
moist, hot kiss that made the night stand still.

Xan moaned against Will's lips, his brain taking a moment to catch up on the words. He pushed Will back, hard enough to make him stumble. "Goodbyes? You're leaving? For how long? Where? Why?"

Will caught himself on one of the boulders in the water, leaned against it. He rubbed his hand over his mouth, still feeling the burn, still tasting Xan. "East. Don't look at me like that, you know I have to," he sliced his hand through the water, splashing it.

"Why? Why do you have to? I don't want you to go."

Xander stepped forward, looking intently at Will.

Why did Xan keep trying to make him talk about it? He hated that. Spilling your guts, going over everything you felt... for what? Everything was still the same at the end of it. "You remember Marcos? They threw him out because..." he bit his lip. "Because he was like me. I can't... I can't pretend anymore Xan, I just can't. And I'm not taking you down with me." He gave a tremulous smile. "I'll miss you most."

"No you won't. You won't even try to stay. And Marcos was a layabout dumbweed, they were looking for a reason to cast him out. You don't give a shit about me, you just want to leave." By the end of his little speech, Xan's eyes were burning. He couldn't believe Will was going to just leave. "I can't believe you're leaving..."

"Come with me." Wills throat was raw, his eyes stung with unshed tears. He knew it was impossible. Xan would stay. Soon his parents wouldn't be able to do much, and someone would have to take up the slack and make sure they were kept fed and clothed.

"Don't leave." Xan countered. "Let me try to convince them. You're my best friend Will. I never thought of you like that before and now I can't stop and I don't want you to leave me. I can convince them to let you stay."

Will snorted. "Think Xan... think, you mention this... you won't be the golden boy anymore. You're not like me, not really. Either we'll both get thrown out, or you'll stay in disgrace. I can't do that to you. You're going to be leader someday, I just know it. I'm sorry I... I've confused you." He started walking past Xan, leaving the warmth of the pool and of friend of a lifetime.

Xan grabbed Will's arm and twirled him around, pushing him against a tree. He took a moment to glare before slamming his lips against Will's, kissing him hard and deep as he could.

"I'm not confused about this. I'm confused about what you want from me," he snapped, shaking will a little. "and you are not going anywhere until you fix it."

His heart banged agains this ribs. It was about to break under that brown-eyed look. "Just the usual. The things I can't have, that's all I want. I... I can't stand around wanting something that's going to get you in trouble. I can't let you give it to me." He steeled himself, for his sake, for Xan's. "Some things can't be fixed. Now don't be a girl
about it." He gave the guy a shove. "I'll wake you when I'm leaving."

With that, Will rushed away, anxious to find a place to lick his wounds and to prepare himself for the long, lonely journey away from all he'd known.

Xan growled in frustration and punched the tree, wincing as his fist connected with the bark. He followed Will, intent on finishing their conversation but was sidetracked by a bunch of clan-members wanting to hear about the lion again. It was impossible to get away from them and all he could do was watch Will walk away from him again.

*

He'd come back to the caves very late at night, found himself a spot near the exit and collapsed into an oddly dreamless sleep. He hadn't looked for Xan, so now that dawn was breaking, he had no idea which of the lumps around the cavern, or outlaying caves might be Xan. Sure, he knew the guy's favorite spots, but Will found he was a coward when it came to saying goodbyes. Only a short time ago, he'd thought he'd always be with his clan, with his friend.

In stealthy silence, he rolled up all his possessions into his furs,tied them up into a pack and grabbed his spear. His collection of colorful stones, he left. Xan might want them to remember him by. Wasn't he always complaining about Will wasting time looking for them, and yet giving them to him when he happened to find the pretty things?

Will smiled in the dark. His face was going to crack, it hurt so. Blinking away the tears and the memories, he walked out, half blind and hunched over slightly.

Xan stood just outside the cave, well aware of the dangers of wandering in the dark. He'd tried to sleep but every time he closed his eyes he'd see Will, hard and panting under him. Xan made to go back inside, but his attention was caught by a shadow sneaking out of the cave.

"What the hell do you think you're...Will? What are you doing? Are those...those are your things! You're sneaking off." Xan hauled back and punched Will as hard as he could.

The blow was unexpected and hurt like fire. Will staggered back, and wiped his hand across his mouth, smearing a bit of blood from its corner. He looked at his stuff, now scattered on the ground, then turned angry blue eyes on Xan. "Why can't you just do one thing the easy way, huh? Why does it have to be the hard way?" he demanded,
teeth clenched. He shoved Xan back. "You were right before. I hate you. You're a boring dumbweed, and I'm tired of you. Now move out of my way," he started to collect his belongings.

Xan ignored the flash of pain at Will's words. no matter what he'd thought, he'd never expected Will to come out and say he hated him.

"Fine. Hate me. But you're not leaving without saying goodbye to my mom. Do you have any idea what this will do to her? For some reason she loves you," he hissed angrily, keeping his voice down so as not to wake the clan.

"Don't fecking tell me what to do. You tell her... you tell her thank you," he bumped his shoulder into Xan's as he passed him. He wasn't going to stand around and get gutted, it was bad enough he was losing his life here.

Xan grabbed Will's arm as he tried to go past, flinging him back and onto the ground. "You're not going anywhere. You're telling her yourself and anyway, we're not done yet."

"We're done, boy... we're done," Will snarled as he sprang up, anger and frustration making him see red. He knocked Xan over, intent on getting his way... leaving without fuss. But Xan was stubborn as ever, and Will found himself falling to the ground. Scrambling away didn't work either. And then they were embroiled in a fight, rolling
around the ground, each trying to get the advantage. Fists even flew, and blood was drawn. Will bared his teeth, "give up... just fecking give it up."

"No."

Simple answer, given through clenched teeth as Xan concentrated on winning this fight. No way was Will leaving him like this. No way was Will leaving him at all. At the thought of never seeing the blond again, Xan redoubled his efforts and was soon straddling Will's hips, pressing him down, Will's arms firmly against the ground.

"You. Are. Not. Leaving."

Arms pinned, Will swung his leg up and around, tried to hook it around Xan to drag him off. Instead, his movements had him grinding against Xan. Just like that, his fury was gone. Replaced by heat and desire and urges he couldn't deny. Staring up into angry brown eyes, Will's stomach clenched. Mouth parted, he tried to catch his breath.

Seeing Will's eyes lose some of the anger, Xan repeated his words, never once relaxing his hold on Will's arms.

"You're not leaving."

The words were softer now, reflecting his need to have Will close. "Not leaving," he repeated again and flattened his body against Will's, bringing their lips together.

It didn't take much pressure to get Will to part his lips. The slide of Xan's tongue along his drew a shudder of pleasure out of him. He kissed him back, hungry, writhing, trying to get his arms free. Frustration. He wanted to touch Xan, feel the heat of his skin. Wanted to touch him all over. Breaking the kiss, he begged. "Let me go, want to feel you. Please Xan..."

He ignored Will's words, concentrating instead on tasting the skin right under his jaw, licking a line to Will's ear, smiling at the small cries of pleasure his lips brought forth. "Not leaving me," he whispered against the skin, moving his head up so he could see Will's eyes. "You're not leaving me," he stated, his hands tightening on Will's wrists, pushing them harder against the ground.

"Gods Xan..." unable to free his hands, Will raised his hips, rubbing up hard against Xan's arousal. Feeling him harden and tease with touches too light to satisfy. "Lower," he growled, exposing his neck to Xan's onslaught. His breath started to come in harsh little pants as he was slowly driven out of his mind. "Not fair... not playing fair."

"Don't care," Xan murmured, moving lower, licking and nibbling on his way. He looked thoughtfully at Will's nipples, wondering if Will would like this as much as a woman might. He flicked his tongue over the right one, smiling triumphantly at the resulting moan. "You can only touch if you admit you're not leaving," he said and proceeded to
thoroughly explore Will's upper chest with his mouth, trying out everything he could think of to force Will to give into the pleasure.

"Feck... Xan!" He bit his lip as sensations rocked him to the core. "Xan... oh yes, harder." He was lifting his hips clear off the ground, chasing Xan. Damn the boy, he was moving... keeping him from getting any relief. Blackmailing him into something he couldn't promise. "Xan!" his voice was heavy with desire as he worked to free his arm.

It was getting harder and harder to pull back, to concentrate on making Will say it instead of on his pleasure. With a sharp bite on Will's nipple, Xan pushed harder at the blond's arms, at the same time pushing his cock hard against Will's.

"Say it. Damn it, Will just say it!"

A groan broke from the back of Will's throat. The wild and primal urge to join their bodies was growing stronger with every teasing lick, every scrape of those glorious teeth against his now very sensitive skin, and every frustratingly short touch of cock against cock. "Okay.... I'll say goodbye to your mother, now let me touch you." He was on the verge of sobbing, even if he didn't realize it.

"No, say you won't leave," another bite, another thrust and Xan was this close to just giving up and letting go of Will's arms.

"Yes... yes ok, won't leave." He'd even promise to go to the angry mountains that cried fire, if Xan made him. But he was desperate, on edge... The minute his arms were freed, he put his hands to good use, snaking them down Xan's waist, shoving his hands into his loin cloth and grabbing his ass, dragging him down hard against his waiting cock. Now when he moved, he had the pressure he'd needed, could grind his erection against Xan's.

Xan felt Will's hands grab him, fingers splayed, nearly touching his hole. He buried his face against Will's neck, remembering the weird feeling he'd had last time, how good it had felt to have Will inside.

"Will, please, I need..."

His mouth worked against Will's skin, too scared to say the actual words.

"Please, Will," he repeated, hoping he would understand.

Their gazes locked. Will slid his fingers between Xan's cheeks, touched him. When he felt him press his ass back, he nodded. Quickly, he loosened the knot that held Xan's loin cloth on his waist, then pulled it off him completely. The urge to roll him over, to fuck him from behind again warred his need to see his face as he came. That one last time. Making his decision, he lifted Xan, arranged himself and brought him down on his cock, writhing as he felt Xan's tightness sheath him, squeeze him tight. Xan whimpered at the flash of pain, sharp and bright, as Will pushed into him. He'd forgotten about that part. Will trembled under him and Xan fought to relax, trying to remember how good it'd felt last time. He concentrated on the feeling of fullness, on Will's body moving under his, on the taste of Will's skin on his tongue.

By the time Will moved inside him, Xan was moaning and shifting his hips, trying to force him in deeper.

Will lifted his hips, over and over, each time dragging Xan down to meet his thrusts. When Xan leaned forward and brushed his cock across Will's abdomen, it was like a dam bursting. All intents to take it slow were scattered to the wind. Bucking up so hard that he was fully buried in Xan, he found a rhythm, crying out between each thrust,
groaning out his pleasure. He'd never tire of this, never. The sight of Xan, moving over him, throwing his head back. Breathing hard, whispering his name, losing control. "Xan... I'm close...so fecking close..."

Xan tried to speak but all that came out was a strangled groan, he moved faster, slamming his body down over and over until he finally felt his release rushing through him. He slumped on Will's body, eyes closed, relaxing his body until he was just a boneless mass of contentment.

"Love you, Will."

"Me and all the girls," Will laughed softly, holding Xan tight as he rode out the last waves of his pleasure. He found Xan's mouth and kissed him one last time, and rolled him onto his side.

An impossible situation got more impossible.

"Oh feck, we're dino food..." His hold on Xan tightened a fraction as he stared at the elder staring at them. This was what he'd wanted to avoid, tainting Xan. Now it was too late. They'd both have to leave. Was it evil of him that one part of him was happy he'd have Xan? But for the most part, he grieved for the boy. Xan loved it here, and he
wanted to be with his people, his family. In one moment of pleasure, had Will just taken everything away from Xan?

*

[present]

Instead of growing sleepier, Xander was wide awake, chewing nervously on his lower lip.

"They didn't kick them out did they? Xan didn't think they would, he was sure they would let them stay," he said, with a conviction he was hard pressed to explain. He just knew that that was the way it had been. "He found a way to convince them to let them stay."

Despite his certainty, Xander leaned his head back, looking up at Spike pleadingly.

"You, need to go to bed," Spike finally said. What was he thinking, keeping him up in his exhausted state. "Got to be at Buffy's early. C'mon then." He got up, and seeing no effort by Xander to follow, he bent and hauled him up. "Let's get you to bed."

"No! I'm not sleepy! All wide awake and energetic." Xander tried to prove his energy by trying a little bounce but even he had to admit his bounce lacked...bounce. He let Spike lead him to the bed, made no complaints as he was tucked in and was generally good and quiet until Spike turned to go.

"Stay with me?"

"What? Here?" So far, he hadn't really been allowed into the *inner sanctum* - Xader's bedroom. The indecision only lasted a second, and Spike sat down on the edge of Xander's bed. He knew Xander had probably meant on the chair, but this was better. Closer. "Just want me to finish my tall tale, don't you? Well it isn't just a tale, not
to me... I lived it, yeah?"

Xander snuggled down in the bed and looked at Spike expectantly. When the blond didn't immediately begin his story, he reached out and tapped him on the thigh.

"Tell me. I want to know about us. Them. Us..." Xander frowned, trying to make sense of everything. After a moment he decided he was too tired to think. "So I'm confused...tell me anyway."

In a swift motion, Spike caught Xander's wrist. Didn't the guy feel it? "You did some very fine talking to the elders. Told them how it would be a mistake to lose two men all at once. The next day, you were landed with a family of your own. Me, and two women," his gaze met Xander's, "don't laugh." He leaned over the boy, tucked his hand
in under the blanket. So close, if he bent down a few more inches, their mouths would touch.

Xander closed his eyes leaning forward a little, brushing his lips against Spike's. He drew back, feeling mildly shocked at what he'd done. He'd just kissed Spike. He, Xander Harris had just kissed William the Bloody.

"Story?" he suggested, trying to look all innocent and non-kissy.

"Give you whatever else you want." Light touch, but his mouth burned. He ached to kiss Xander, a real kiss. Not one the boy could pretend never happened. Not yet. Satisfying himself with merely staring at the object of his desire, watching it curve into a smile, he finished telling the story.

"You had many babies. I got along with the other wives just fine. Then the vampires started showing up in our lands. You and I were chosen to go find the Slayer. East Africa was a long trek," a touch of sadness colored his voice. "It took years. I lost you along the way. You never saw her. Brought your body with me, I did. They helped me bury you and one of the elders of their tribe, a medicine man told me I'd never lose the one I'd journeyed with. Course I already had.... and you're bloody asleep aren't you?"

He got up and quietly left the room, shutting the door behind him.

(werewindle made us a drawing after reading this fic. You can find it here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/werewindle/37827.html )


(Note: As this fic doesn't seem to be popular, it may be the last in the series)