Damned With You

Spike fought the urge to pace and sat near the edge of the bed where the dead body of his lover lay. The last three days had been terrible, and he was exhausted. He wouldn’t be able to rest really, though, until he made sure Xander was okay, that Xander was Xander.

He’d gone back to the hospital that first night after making his phone calls. He’d returned to many tears and wailing coming from Red. Seemed that while he was gone Xander had some sort of episode and his prognosis was worse. Of course, both Buffy and Willow had turned their anger onto him.

Their anger had turned almost violent and the head nurse had called security and had the two women taken away. They didn’t even read the letters Spike had given them, they had just started screaming and shouting when Spike had talked to the doctor about getting Xander off all of those damned machines. Part of him kind of wished he'd had the time to smirk at them but, despite the fact that he knew Xander was coming back to him, Spike was still mourning the death of his lover in a way.

The letter had helped the Nibblet, though. After Buffy and Willow had been escorted out and Spike was inside one of the rooms fending off questions about organ donation, he’d heard her intake of breath and her happy babble before Glinda shushed her.

Tara had been the backbone of the group, obviously upset but keeping her cool and helping everyone do what needed to be done. Spike knew he could trust her and after he had been done with proving he had Xander’s living will and all the proper papers had been signed she had smiled at him and nodded.

Later, after the machines were turned off and both Tara and Dawn had gone in to say “goodbye”, Spike strove to remember everything he could about his own turning. The feel of Dru’s lips on his throat, the sweet taste of her blood as it ran over his tongue.

Of course, a hundred years ago they didn’t have bloody human vultures, wanting to pick the best of Xander’s bits and pieces out of him. He banged his head on a wall and sighed. Ordinarily Xander would have been an organ donor, he wanted to help people even with his death. And theoretically fledges could survived the autopsy and embalming process; it just made them a bit more…hungry when they woke up.

But Spike didn’t want to deal with all that, he wanted Xander as he was now, as whole as he could be with his broken bones and head injuries. As it was it would take him a day or two longer to rise as the demon healed the body it was taking possession of.

Now, watching his lover’s still form he only hoped he had done everything right. He’d fed Xander so much of his own blood he had nearly passed out, and he’d been thankful that Tara had insisted she watch because it was her hands that made sure his Xander swallowed the viscous fluid.

Dawn had taken the lock picking talents he’d taught her the year before and had broken into the blood bank. Even now Spike had to laugh at the look on her face. It was what Xander had called her “shit eating grin” and she had been so proud that her petty larceny had been able to help both Spike and Xander.

Not long after that Tara had left, taking Dawn with her. Spike was left to make arrangements through the hospital and the mortuary. Fortunately, one was owned and operated by a pack of ghouls. They were demons that lived off fresh human organs but hated to kill.

They were more than happy to help a Master Vampire, and had delivered Xander straight from the hospital morgue to the small cabin outside town that Clem had arranged and stocked for them. They would in turn bury a coffin filled with sacks of concrete, but Spike was waiting till a week after Xander’s “death” for that.

His lover had an odd enough sense of humor to want to go himself.

The cabin was nice, not as rustic as Spike had feared when Clem had suggested it. He’d pictured one room with dirt floors and a fireplace. The fireplace was there in the big living room, but it had hardwood flooring, a deluxe bathroom and kitchen and a bedroom. It had been owned by the former Mayor of Sunnydale and even had access to the sewer network through the root cellar.

A perfect place for Spike and his new Childe. The place even had a satellite dish. He was using it off the record for now, but figured that they’d buy the place as soon as they could. Tara had already been by the day before to place protection wards around the house. She’d also done the spell to give Xander back his soul.

Now all Spike had to do was wait.

He left the bedroom and went into the kitchen. The cabin had been fitted with shutters and he’d left them all closed so it was safe to walk through the rooms even though the sun still had a half hour to set. Spike hoped that Xander would wake once it got dark and he remembered all too well the hunger that would consume his lover. He made sure to heat and drink bag after bag of blood before going back to Xander.


He wanted to be ready to take care of his Childe.