After Everything

Chapter 3: The Aftermath

Buffy and Spike waded through the sea of bodies, stopping occasionally to check pulses on fallen comrades. Buffy grew more and more solemn as the number of dead slayers and soldiers kept rising. A few of the slayers were friends of Buffy, and Spike watched her say goodbye to them. She would kneel, close the dead girl’s eyes, and say a few silent words while tears track down her face.

They slowly made their way to the gathering group of survivors. Most of them were hardly standing, leaning on their fellows for support, and all of them wore the grim expressions of those who have lost too many friends.

Many of the slayers who were still strong enough, searched for their fallen. The dead were reverently placed together, while the survivors prayed for their souls. Willow began a chant and the dead faded into the ground, to be replaced by flowers. One flower for every friend that was slain. Many people would wonder later how it is that so many flowers could grow and thrive out of the asphalt. Willow then turned and burned all the dead demons to ash, before sinking down, exhausted.

“Buffy!”

She looked up to see Angel hobbling his way to her, concern written on his face. She smiled warmly at him, happy to see he made it through the fight.

“You’re hurt.” He took in the grisly sight of her leg. It was swollen, bruised, and bloodied from the deep lacerations and punctures of the hellhounds tearing teeth.

She looked out at the group of survivors, taking stock of injuries. “Mine’s nothin’. I’ll be alright.” Her eyes locked with his, and he smiled at her.

“Thanks for coming.”

“Couldn’t let you boys have all the fun. A girl needs a good apocalypse every now and again.”

Spike, still supporting Buffy, watched this exchange and couldn’t help tightening his hold on her while glaring at Angel. Angel met Spike’s possessive glare with one of his own. Buffy rolled her eyes at them.

“Buffy! I was so worried about you! Are you okay?” The two vampires broke their staring contest to see a young man running up to them. He enveloped Buffy into his arms, rained kisses all over her face, and finished with a lingering one on her lips.

Spike and Angel looked on in shock and jealousy as the dark haired man fussed over their Buffy.

Buffy broke from the kiss and stared into the man’s relief filled grey eyes. She ran her hands over his face, lightly lingering over several gashes in his face. “They’re nothing, baby.” He said as he kissed her hand.

Buffy smiled at him and then turned to the stunned vampires. “Spike. Angel. This is Sean… my boyfriend.”

Sean, one arm wrapped around Buffy’s waist, smiled and held out his other hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you both.”

Spike and Angel both looked at the hand as if it was going to bite them. Sean dropped it, smile fading a bit, and mistook their possessiveness for protectiveness.

“I know how protective you guys are of her, and I want you to know she’s in safe hands.” He met Buffy’s eyes and held them. “I would never hurt her… I love her.”

Spike felt as if he was going to hurl. He couldn’t understand what Buffy saw in him. He stared at her while Angel glared at Sean, sizing him up.

Angel was startled out of it by a gentle tap on the shoulder. He turned to find a very tired Willow behind him. “Sorry to break up this very manly display, but we’re all really tired and could use somewhere to crash.”

Angel looked out at the exhausted group. “We’ll have to go to the Hyperion, since Wolfram and Hart was destroyed. I never gave up the deed when we moved to the law firm, so I still own it.”

Willow looked beyond relieved. “Great! Lead the way.”

The group made their way, limping and bleeding, to the old hotel.

“Any chance we could grab some grub too? I’m starving!” Faith piped up and many seconded the request.

**********************************************

The lobby to the Hyperion looked like a triage unit at the ER. The slayers who sustained the least damaged rushed around trying to help those who needed it. They cleaned lacerations and abrasions, helped replace dislocated joints, and splinted broken bones. Some even went to the nearest hospital with the ones who were most dire, raiding the supply cabinets as well to take some much needed supplies back to the hotel. They tried to take some antibiotics and pain killers as well, but the drugs were too closely watched.

The activity in the lobby slowly died down, everybody going to claim their room for some rest. Buffy and Sean chose to have their room together and a very jealous Spike chose to have his room as far away from them as possible. He sat in his room, drank whiskey, and tried to forget about his slayer and her new boyfriend.

Angel was awash in memories. He had hesitated to walk in when they arrived, knowing that there were so many memories in that place.

Once everyone had left to his or her room, Angel stayed behind to walk the hotel. He eyed the faded pentagram on the lobby floor, remembering the botched spell, and found himself smiling. He then walked around the front desk to the back offices and could see clearly Wes and Cordy sitting at the desk, tirelessly researching some new evil. He spotted the old answering machine, pressed the play button, and heard Cordy’s cheerful voice come out of the electronic speaker.

“Hi! You’ve reached Angel Investigations. We help the helpless. If that’s you, leave a message.”

Angel stared wistfully at the machine for a moment, before turning away. He went back to the lobby and began to climb the stairs. He first went in search of Fred’s old room. He gently pushed open her old door and walked in. He looked at the pale blue paint on the walls and could still see some of the writing it hid. He touched the paint remembering how endearingly insane Fred was in those days and how she had grown into an integral part of his team. He missed her sorely.

“Sorry I couldn’t save you from the monsters.” He whispered as he walked out of her room, gently closing the door behind him.

He went next into Connors old nursery. It was still blackened from the fire, but Angel could still see what used to be. He went over a ran his hand over the remains of Connor’s crib, remembering him as a baby wrapped securely in his blanket and surrounded by the stuffed animals his family had given him. Angel wondered briefly how different things would have turned out had Holtz never came. He wondered how big Connor would have been now. Would he have been a rambunctious two year old or would he have grown faster than a normal human. What age would he have been then?

He remembered his entire history with Connor, had a few regrets woven in, but still was happy that he had signed the deal with Wolfram and Hart, to give Connor a normal life. Even now that Connor knows who he really is, he is still much happier and more well adjusted than he was. Angel is proud of who his son has become, and thought that now they might be able to build a relationship with each other.

He left that room and continued to last one he wanted to visit. He hesitated outside its door. Cordy’s room had been left exactly as it was. There were candles on the windowsill, left from when worshippers would pray over her comatose body. Angel could see small remnants of her life distributed all throughout the room. He went to her closet and looked through what was left there of her clothes. He chose a shirt he had seen her wear often, and brought it to his face. He breathed in her scent that was still lingering in the shirt, wishing she were still with him. He sat down on her bed, still clutching the shirt, and let a single tear slip down his face, grieving for everyone he had lost.

That was where Buffy found him. “Angel?”

He looked up, eyes glistening from unshed tears, and gave her a sad smile. Buffy walked over to him and sat next to him.

“I failed them. Anyone… everyone who has joined me in my cause has died because of it. I should never have let them join me. I came to LA to fight evil alone and that’s what I should have done. If I had then Gunn, Fred, Wes, Cordy, and Doyle would all still be here.” He looked down at his hands.

“It’s not your fault, Angel.” Buffy wiped away another tear on his face. “I’ve heard all about your adventures here in LA and I can tell you that if they hadn’t met you or been with you, they would have all died a long time ago. Doyle, you told me, sacrificed himself to save others, if you hadn’t been there influencing him then he would have been killed by the scourge and the race he died to protect would have been massacred as well. Yes, he died, but he died a hero. Cordy would have died when she met that vampire that promised to make her a star, but you saved her. Wes, well Wes would have just gotten himself killed. When he first came out here, he was a bumbling fool, but because of you, he became a powerful ally. Gunn would have been picked off by the vamps at some point, he was reckless. And Fred would have been stuck in Pylea, who knows when she would have been executed there. Everyone who has died for your cause was also saved by your cause. Don’t beat yourself up over their deaths. They are all heroes and will be remembered as such.”

“Thanks, Buffy.” Angel met her eyes. Buffy smiled warmly at him and then hugged him. Angel wrapped his arms around her, grateful for her comforting presence. He realized though, that as much as he loved her, he wasn’t in love with her anymore. She had grown beyond it and so had he. He found he was happy that she had found someone to be with that seemed to love and treasure her.

Buffy squeezed Angels hand before getting up to leave. Angel lied down on Cordy’s bed and fell into a fitful sleep, dreaming of times past and of the frightening future.

***************************************************

Buffy made her way down the long hallway to Spike’s room. She knocked softly on the door, almost hoping he wouldn’t hear, so she wouldn’t have to face him.

From inside came Spike’s drunken snarl. “Bugger off!”

Buffy sighed. “Spike, it’s me. Can I come in for a moment?”

“I know who the bloody hell it is. I repeat: Bugger… off!”

Buffy tried to let herself in, but he had locked it. “Damn it, Spike. Stop being an ass and open the damn door!”

She heard rustling inside the room and then the lock sliding back. The door opened to reveal a very disheveled Spike. His white hair was tousled and curly and he wasn’t wearing anything but his favorite black jeans. Buffy unconsciously licked her lips, as she looked him up and down, thinking he never looked sexier than he did at that moment.

Spike inwardly groaned when he saw her reaction to him. He immediately grabbed her, slammed the door, and pinned her against the wall.

Buffy was wide-eyed and breathless. “Spike what are you doing?”

Spike swooped down then and claimed her lips. Buffy was surprised at the forcefulness of his kiss, but was soon swept up in it. Their lips were fused and their tongues battled furiously with each other. Spike was pouring all the jealousy and anger he had pent up into that kiss.

Buffy was reveling in the feel of his lips on hers again, but when she felt his hands start to roam, demanding more, she pushed him away.

“Spike, I can’t do this. I didn’t come here for this!”

Spike felt his anger boil up again. “Then why the bloody hell are you here?”

Buffy pressed against the wall harder, trying to get away from his intense stare. “I just wanted to talk.”

Spike sighed and plopped into an armchair. He looked up at her. “Where’s the new soldier-boy?”

He saw her hint of a smile when she thought of him, and he narrowed his eyes. “Sleeping,” she replied.

“You came here to talk, so talk. I’ve got at least another bottle of Jack to go before I sleep.”

“I wanted to apologize for not contacting you sooner.”

“Apology accepted, now get out!”

“Spike! Damn it! Would you let me finish!”

Spike mumbled, “Fine.”

“God, you’re so pissy when you’re drunk!”
Spike growled at her.

“Alright, sorry.” She went and sat on the corner of the bed, facing him. “I want you to know that I never forgot about you. I thought about you everyday and everyday I came so close to contacting you, but I couldn’t.”

“The Immortal.”

“Yeah. Well during my stint with the Immortal, I met Sean. He was the one that told me Riley was dead. We didn’t get together until after the Immortal was dead. I didn’t contact you after because I wanted to see where this thing with Sean was going to go. I knew that if I did, then Sean wouldn’t have even been a blip on the radar for me. I really like him, he treats me well, he’s funny and smart, and he’s human.” She looked at Spike.

Spike met her eyes. “Do you love him?”

Buffy thought about it for a minute. “No. Not yet, but I think I could.”

Spike looked down. “Remember what you said to me in the hellmouth?”

Buffy tilted her head. “Of course I do.”

“I know I said I didn’t believe you, but I wanted to so much.”

Buffy got up and knelt at his feet, meeting his intense gaze with one of her own. “I meant it then, and I mean it now. I love you, Spike.”

Hope flared through his eyes. Buffy continued, “But nothing can happen between us right now. I’m with Sean, and nothing will make me hurt him after he’s been so good to me. I’m sorry Spike.”

She got up and began to leave. Spike followed her and spun her around to face him. He claimed her lips in a gentle kiss, before letting her break away. “That’s so you won’t forget about me when you’re with him.”

Buffy smiled. “Never.”

She walked out of his room, shutting the door behind her, and leaving Spike to his own thoughts.

She went back to her and Sean’s room and climbed back into bed. Sean spooned himself up against her and pulled her close, murmuring in his sleep. Buffy let sleep claim her and dreamed of Spike and the coming days.