Defying the Devil

Xander’s groggy eyes slowly opened and he sat up. Yawning loudly and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he licked his lips, remembering earlier when his Sire had kissed him. The sweet tangy taste of blood in his mouth, Sire’s hands rubbing all over his body. He shivered at the thought and placed his hand over his crotch, feeling his half hard cock.

"Sire?" he questioned loudly looking around the room. But Spike was no where to be seen. Xander slowly got up from the bed and walked halfway to the door before stopping. His eyes narrowed and he whimpered softly. He wasn’t allowed to leave or do anything without first being instructed. What if his Sire got mad at him for leaving? What if he was meant to stay here while his Sire was gone?

He bit his lip, cutting deeper into his flesh as the tangy flavor of his blood seeped into his mouth. It wasn’t as good as Spike’s though, he sadly thought. He turned around and sat on the bed, uncomfortable at not having someone there with him. He laid down flat on the mattress and stared up at the ceiling, seeing only gray.

He became agitated quickly and began biting at his fingers, placing the digits into his mouth and sucking them, before morphing into demon guise and allowing his fangs to descend into his flesh. They weren’t very deep cuts, only shallow slashes up to his nails. It wasn’t that fun, but it did give him some more practice morphing in and out of his demon.

Master Angelus had told him he didn’t need to learn, because that wasn’t his purpose. When asked what his purpose was, Master Angelus had smacked him hard, very hard as a matter of fact. Xander rubbed his cheek at the memory and could almost feel the intense slap. It didn’t really bother him before, but now he was confused.

Xander wondered for a moment if Spike wanted him to learn to control his demon. If he didn’t belong to Master Angelus anymore, then what was his purpose with Spike? He was going to be the blonde vampire’s Childe he knew, but what did that mean? Did that mean Spike was going to beat him into submission like Master Angelus had? Xander thought it through, and he considered the possibility that maybe if he told Spike that he’d be good and loyal, that the blonde would listen.

Spike was much different from Master Angelus. Where Master Angelus was cruel, Spike was tender. Where Master Angelus scolded him, Spike praised him. He knew he genuinely liked Spike more than Master Angelus. But he didn’t want to choose between them. Besides, Master Angelus had already told him that Spike got bored easily with the pets.

Was he a pet? Maybe he was, but maybe he could convince Spike he was more than a pet. That he deserved the title of Childe. His heart filled with pride for a moment, imagining what a perfect Childe he could make for Spike. He’d obey everything, down to the last detail.

Soon, Xander became bored with his thoughts. It was nice imagining how great he could be, feeling something he wanted at last, but he wanted to do it and not just think about it. He turned on his side and stared at the wall, feeling like he was in a box with no means of escape - alone. And he hated that. He couldn’t stand being alone, with no one there. He wanted his Sire now, he pouted.

He sat up again and stared across the room at the door. Maybe, he thought, if he wished it Spike would come back. He could picture the blonde wheeling himself in with a big smile, telling him how good of a Childe he would make. How perfect he could be. Then Xander could crawl over and play more of those fun games with his Sire. He wanted to see Spike’s beautiful blue eyes, staring at him adoringly. Wanted Sire’s firm hands playing with his body, touching his cock, playing with his hole. Then Sire would throw him on the bed, still playing with his hole, before removing his fingers and ramming into him with his cock.

Xander moaned at the thought, and even though he knew it wasn’t possible for Spike to take him just yet - the very thought made his cock hard. He could play with that fantasy for bit, picturing how big Sire’s cock would be. It would probably be pale like the rest of Sire’s body was; but magnificent, and all for him. Playing on Sire’s cock, he laughed. He could learn that, he really could. Sire just has to teach him. And that’s what Sires do for their Childer, right? Teach them?

"Sire, come back," Xander pleaded, hearing only a faint echo of his voice. He pouted again - nothing. He called out once more for Sire to come back, hoping that maybe Spike was only in the other room and that he’d hear his call. But still he was alone and Sire didn’t seem to be coming back.

"Sire, please come back. I’m ready. I can be good, I promise," Xander called out still only hearing a faint echo. He fell back down on the bed again, feeling tears stinging his eyes.

"Hate being alone. Sire come back, I’ll be good," Xander whimpered as he stared once more at the gray ceiling. He felt the cool glide of his tears fall down his cheeks. He didn’t know why he always resorted to crying in these situations, but he just couldn’t take being alone. He just wanted Spike to come back, even if the adoring words of praise didn’t follow.

He felt he was losing his mind and rolled on the bed restlessly. Still the tears flowed, and he felt abandoned. Maybe Spike had become bored with him already.

Then he heard the sound of footsteps echoing from the other side of the door. Xander sat up, wanting to go and wait in front of the door like a dog obediently awaiting its master’s return. But he sat on the bed, fidgeting anxiously, expecting that maybe Spike had sent a minion to tell him that he’d be back shortly. Or maybe Spike was accompanied by someone. The knob slowly twisted, and the door steadily creaked open.

"Hello," Angelus smiled and walked through the door. Holding a cloth in his hand and wiping something off his palm that looked suspiciously like blood. The elder vampire quickly shoved the red stained cloth into his pocket and walked toward the confused looking fledge.

"What, not happy to see me?"

Xander immediately stared at the floor, remembering the lessons Master Angelus had taught him. "No, Master," he apologized, "I’m always happy to be in your presence."

"Good boy," Angelus praised and lifted Xander’s chin. They caught each others eyes and Xander tried to look away, only to have Angelus growl and squeeze his jaw tightly. For a moment he considered shutting his eyes, but as if reading his thoughts, Angelus growled displeasingly. Xander tried hard to keep his gaze unwavering, but found it very uncomfortable. A shimmer of yellow gleamed across the elder vampire’s brown eyes for a moment. The young vampire whimpered unintentionally, feeling disoriented from being caught by Angelus’ glaring gaze. Master Angelus had always told him never to give eye contact. Xander wanted to obey that order, like he’d been taught, but Angelus had forced him to remain staring.

"Don’t cry, little one," Angelus spoke sounding almost calm despite his glare. Fingers brushed across Xander’s cheek, wiping away cool liquid. "No need to cry."

Xander stiffened. Was he crying? Despite himself he lifted his hand to his face, trying not to make contact with Angelus’ hand as he felt wet skin under his eyes. He was crying.

"I’m sorry, Master. I didn’t mean too," he apologized.

"Then why are you still crying," growled the elder vampire.

Xander felt better knowing Master Angelus had returned to his regular mood. It unnerved the young vampire to hear calming words from the elder, but the eye contact was still causing him despair.

Master Angelus had always said never give eye contact or else he’d be punished. Xander knew that if he didn’t obey that his master would put him in ‘solitude’, as the elder vampire called it. It meant that Xander was chained to the wall of a very small room in the factory. He didn’t know how to describe it, other than it was very dark and there was no noise. Seemingly sound proof. He wondered if he cried then too, but decided not to think about it because he hated that place.

He remembered that when Master Angelus had taken him from the room that the elder vampire had made him promise to be good. He said yes, of course, because he’d do anything to not be alone. Especially in that room with only his thoughts to keep him company. He was good, Xander told himself.

He had screamed and begged like a good boy whenever his master had hit him with a whip, or cut into his flesh. It really hadn’t mattered what Angelus did, so long as Xander wasn‘t in the dark place.

But now Xander felt hurt, not knowing how to be good. He was staring Angelus in the eyes, and that was against the rules. That meant he was bad. Wrong. But Angelus wouldn’t allow him be good. He pleaded with Angelus silently to let him be good. Because Master Angelus had told him that the bad ones are left alone to rot in the dark.

"Stop crying!"

Smack! The back of Angelus’ hand was brought down on Xander’s cheek, his head jerked to the side from the impact of the blow.

"Thank you, Master," Xander gasped softly and stared at the floor. He was very relieved his master had let go of his chin after backhanding him. That meant he didn’t have stare Angelus in the eyes, which meant he could be good.

Angelus placed his hand in Xander’s hair, roughly digging his fingers in the fledges’ scalp. "What are you," the elder vampire asked.

"I’m nothing, Master," the fledge responded knowing exactly what Master Angelus wanted to hear, because he’d been taught how to respond properly to his betters.

"Do you have wants or needs little one?"

"No Master."

"Because…"

"I’m nothing, Master."

Angelus smiled and patted Xander’s head gently. There was a long moment of silence, but Xander dared not look up or speak. He was suppose to be good, which meant never speak unless spoken too and never look his master in the eyes. Which was easy enough.

"I’ve been thinking about how to punish you little one. You’ve been bad haven’t you?"

Xander began to tremble, he didn’t want to be bad. He felt the stinging pain of tears in his eyes once again, because Angelus had rarely used the word bad. Only the one time when he was put in solitude. He couldn’t go there again, and for a moment he thought angrily of Angelus. Because he wasn’t bad, he was good. He hadn’t broken any of the rules... Had he?

"Do you know what you did wrong?" Angelus asked as if addressing a small child. Xander didn’t respond to the question immediately, and therefore was backhanded for his disobedience. "Speak!" the elder vampire snarled.

"I’m sorry, Master. I didn’t know I was allowed. I’m sorry."

Smack! Another blow to the face. "Why are you sorry."

"Because I broke the rules."

"And what are you?"

"Nothing, Master."

"That’s right," Angelus spat. "You’re nothing. Never were as a human, and you’re even less now as a vampire. Do you deserve my forgiveness little one?"

"No, Master," Xander responded and was smacked again. He could feel the salty taste of tears on his lips, drying quickly on his cool skin. He could almost feel it now - the emptiness, the dark, being alone. Where was Sire? Xander thought momentarily. Sire would protect him wouldn’t he? Sire wouldn’t put him in the dark. Where was his Sire now?

"Why don’t you deserve my forgiveness," the elder vampire growled. This time hitting Xander with a clenched fist. The fledge nearly tumbled to the side, feeling the hard agonizing impact on his jaw. Xander sat back up and continued staring at the ground. He knew he’d be hit anyway, so there was no point to any of this. But he needed to answer the questions, because if he didn’t he’d be put back into that room. And that just couldn’t happen.

"I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Master, because I don’t deserve anything. Especially from you, my Master." Xander spoke each word like he remembered reciting the pledge of allegiance. They were only words he memorized, forced to say them but holding no meaning to him at all. He wanted Sire desperately now, because he knew he wouldn’t be subjected to this if Spike were here. For a moment he almost smiled, because he’d never be threatened with solitude again. Then he was smacked across the face once more, taken out of this thoughts.

"That’s right," Angelus growled. "You don’t deserve anything from me. Because I’m the one sacrificing. I’m the one who took you in. Remember that no one wants you, boy. No one cares. You think your friends are out there looking for you? Do you?" Angelus almost yelled, his voice raising with each question spoken. Xander continued trembling, trying to hold back the tears because he wanted Spike. Where the hell was he? What if… What if Spike no longer wanted him, Xander thought again.

What if that’s why Angelus was here, because Spike had become bored, or even worse - disgusted. Xander couldn’t stop his tears from falling, because no one wanted him. He’d be put back into solitude, with no one caring, no one watching; and like all bad vampires he’d rote there forever.

"No one wants you, boy," Angelus smiled. "I’m the only one who’ll give you the time of day, and not even I care to be around you that long. What are you boy?"

"Nothing, Master," Xander said softly, despair in his voice. "I’m nothing, worthless."

"And who wants you, boy?"

"No one, Master. Nobody wants me because I’m worthless, Master."

"So what do we say, boy?" Angelus smiled.

"Thank you for watching over me, Master. No one wanted me as a human, and no one wants me as a vampire. I’m worthless, nothing, and if you choose to beat me, hurt me, use me, then I’m happy to be of use, Master." Xander recited his pledge, the words Master Angelus taught him and which he remembered. Only he felt they were true now. He wanted to speak to Spike one more time though, and maybe he could convince the blonde that he was a good boy, a good vampire. He could live up to the title of Childe. Of Spike’s Childe.

While Xander was lost in sorrowing thought, Angelus reached into his back pocket a took out a long knife. The weapon gleamed in what little light was in the room, and the dark vampire stared at it fascinated. He placed the edge of the weapon against the skin of Xander’s neck, slowly tracing down leaving a shallow cut behind.

Xander felt the knife on his skin, not caring that Angelus was probably going to carve into him. His legs shook, heels bouncing up and down off the floor as thought about Spike. He had to ask Master Angelus, even if he was punished. He had to know.

"Master," Xander spoke softly. "Do you know… What happened to Spike, Master?" There were several obvious reasons to not use the word Sire in front of Angelus. Both vampires, in Xander’s eyes, had laid claim to him. Although he knew now which one he truly wanted, he couldn’t look at Angelus and tell him that. It was Angelus who took him in, made sure he hadn’t been alone these first two weeks. Without Master Angelus he’d be dust probably. So he felt he owed Master Angelus something, if only his complete servitude. That is unless Spike came back and took him away.

A loud animalistic roar echoed off the factory walls. Angelus’ large hand wrapped Xander’s neck, and the elder vampire forced the fledge unto the bed, pinning him. Xander stared up briefly, seeing Angelus with a feral fire in his golden eyes and his fangs snapped shut as he growled. Then the blade was brought to his side, and with a quick thrust was lodged into his body. Xander screamed out loud, feeling the blade sink into his side, feeling like burning fire. It worked its way up slightly, shoving into an organ the fledge no longer needed. It lay in his side up to the hilt now, blood seeping unto the silk sheets of the bed below.

"Don’t you ever presume to ask me anything without permission, you worthless little bastard," Angelus growled as Xander writhed in agony beneath him. Then he moved the blade slightly, the elder vampire jiggling the steel inside the fledge, loving the sight of blood that seeped from the wound.

"I’m sorry, Master," Xander gasped out. His eyes were shut tight, and he tried to ignore the searing pain in his side.

Angelus squeezed on the young vampire’s throat, cutting off his wind pipes. Xander was now unable to speak. The fledge felt he’d crossed a line. He should never have asked his master anything without permission. Now, he felt, that Angelus was going to dismember him. He’d never had something as agonizingly painful as the long blade inside of him, working its way up and almost touching his ribcage. Master Angelus was going to rip him open, and all he wanted was to see his Sire again. Tears fell from his face as the pain became unbearable.

"Now it’s time to teach you what your purpose is. I haven’t kept you around for nothing boy, and just like Spike…"

The weapon was ripped from Xander’s body leaving a huge wound in the fledge’s side. Angelus brought the weapon to his lips and licked along the blade. Pink tongue lapping at the sweet nectar. He lowered the knife again and began cutting into the young vampire’s skin once more. Muffled cries began sounding through the room as Xander took his punishment.

Angelus smiled. "I’m gonna teach your place."

TBC


A/N: Okay I'm writing again. Hurray!