Blood Sugar Sex Magick

Cue the Innocent

Clark hoped spending the evening in the Talon would take his mind off of his problems with Lex, but seeing Lana only reminded him of the harsh words his supposed best friend said to him only yesterday.

"I'm really sick of hearing you talk about her. I'm a grown-up with my own problems and all of this adolescent angst is getting very old, Clark."

They had settled down for a cozy Friday evening of movie watching at the castle. Lex was very adamant that Clark eat all of the brownies and he made him coffee just the way he liked it, lots of sugar and lots of cream. Lex watched as every morsel disappeared into his mouth, handing him the glass of milk whenever he stopped to breathe. They watched a few new episodes of the Dave Chappelle Show Lex tivoed for him and then decided to watch a movie.

Lex frowned when Clark picked The Princess Bride but he didn't say anything, choosing instead to sit back and watch the film. Clark couldn't help drawing parallels between his perfect love of Lana and Wesley's love of Buttercup. Well, at least in the beginning, when Buttercup didn't know she loved the pathetic stable boy. All it would take were a few "as you wishes", a pirate ship, and death and perhaps Lana would be his. Maybe he shouldn't have said all that aloud, because Lex snapped.

He threw the remote control at the television turning furious eyes on a completely shocked Clark. He delivered his cruel speech, and before he new what was happening, Clark was being kicked out of the castle with the words,
"And only come back when you've grown-up and stop torturing me like this!" ringing in his ears.

Lex was the last of his friends who would listen to him talk about Lana. Pete was in Wichita and hung up the phone if he brought up the subject and Chloe threatened to rip his tongue out with her bear hands if he ever mentioned "that fucking fairy princess" again. His parents left a pamphlet on his bed entitled "When love turns obsessive" with a handy list of 10 warning signs for would-be stalkers. He got 9 out of 10.

He knew there was something wrong with his obsession, but he just couldn't stop following her around, staring at her and thinking about her. It was as if his alien soul was completely fixated on the pink princess. It wasn't sex: In fact the thought of actually touching her filled him with dread more than lust. She was just so wonderful. And perfect. And unattainable. So what if every time he seemed to be able to attain her, he did something to fuck it up? The course of true love never ran straight, or something. Lana was his destiny.

Even in his present miserable state, Clark made sure to sit at the table that gave him the best view of Lana. There she was, standing behind the counter, raising her pen to impossibly pink lips. There she was, tossing her hair back, and smiling at a customer. Clark shook his head, noticing a group of strangers sitting a few feet away. They were whispering, which was never a good sign. Years of living in Smallville taught him he should be wary of people he didn't know. They could be reporters, or private detectives, or FBI agents. He'd just use his super hearing and check if they were on the level.

"...It's like there's a whole bunch of big hot sweaty sex in the air." The redhead said.

"Huh. I don't feel anything." the man said, blinking owlishly. He kinda looked like an older, and sexier, Harry Potter when he did that.

"That's because you're English, Giles." The teenaged girl giggled. She was pretty: No Lana, (but then who is) but still nice enough looking for note.
Giles chose to ignore her comment and continued.

"Yes, well, it probably has to do more with that sex magick spell you reversed last month. It's made you more sensitive to...uh...sex." He looked like he was going to spontaneously combust.

"But why would the demons want to use sex magick? I mean, isn't the vessel supposed to be pure or something?" The redhead responded. She picked up a menu and began fanning herself.

Demons? Vessel? My word!

"Maybe it's not the demons who cast it." The Englishman responded.
The redhead suddenly stood up and started running her hands over her breasts. They were nice breast actually. Not up to Lana standards (though she didn't really have breast did she?) but nice.

"Willow!" Giles shouted, pulling her arm to try to make her sit down.

Just when Clark didn't think things could get any stranger, Lex Luthor entered the coffee shop. He looked good, in white fitted pants and short-sleeved lavender shirt. His black sunglasses accentuated the creamy paleness of his skin, and for the first time Clark actually wondered what it would be like to touch that perfection. His friend took off his glasses, and their eyes locked: Pale blue against green. He always lost in these matches, but this time he wasn't backing down. In fact, this time, he felt something he hadn't felt in months, a kind of heat licking at the walls of ice surrounding his heart.

"Jesus!" "Oh god!" The redhead writhed in something that could either be pleasure or pain. Giles stood up, and made a gesture in his hand, calling out in a language Clark couldn't recognize. He could have sworn he saw swirls of color in the air. The woman shuddered once and collapsed against the Englishman.

"What, in God's name, do you think you're playing at, Lex?" Giles asked, after setting the woman carefully down at the table. Lex looked shocked, and then contrite, then his usual mask of indifference slipped over his features.

"Rupert I don't know what you're talking about." He tried to dissemble, but his eyes flicked to Clark. Rupert noticed, and turned to him in the corner.

"I see. Lex, Lex, Lex! What am I going to do with you?" There was anger and a hint of indulgence in that voice.

"Well, we shouldn't talk about it here."

"No, I suppose not. The castle, then."

"Yes, right. Will she be okay?" Lex asked.

"I just put her to sleep for a bit. Until we can reverse the spell you cast."
"Oh.... right." Lex said in a resigned voice.

"We'll need the boy, of course."

"Okay. Okay."

Lex gestured to Clark, who was hanging on every word. The other patrons of the coffee shop were pointedly ignoring the strangers. Even Lana was hiding beneath the counter. Living in a town of meteor mutants did that to you.

"Would you like to come to the castle? We have some things to discuss."
Clark thought about being bratty, but decided he would probably end up there anyway, so he nodded and followed them outside.