This Kind of Lonely

Disclaimer

I own NOTHING (except for the plot*smile*)! Anything in this story that falls under existing copyrights belongs to their respective owners.

A/N
Again I love you all for the reviews. They are helping me very much as I’m devouring them when I write the next chapter. Ready for bitchy Buffy? You’ll get her now ready or not. I would like to thank my dearest Catlin for helping me out with the plot for this one this afternoon and always being my voice of reason when I get ideas that are just too stupid. Thank you honey! ;) Now everybody go on and enjoy.
Hugs to all!

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Previously on “This Kind of Lonely”:

Buffy wakes up and finds Spike in her hospital room. She recognizes him and dislikes him immediately. The doctor arrives and tells Buffy that she can’t stay in the hospital although she is momentarily paraplegic. Spike offers to take care of her.

This Kind of Lonely


Chapter 3: A familiar Feeling

“What?” Buffy’s yelled “are you kidding me? I told you to get lost. You won’t take any care about anything concerning me.”

“Miss Summers, I think you shouldn’t decline such an offer…” the doctor tried to reason.

“I don’t care, I won’t lay my life in the hands of the person that brought me into that stupid situation” Buffy vehemently defended her not so reasonable point of view. She just didn’t like Mr. Wellings. She was one of the best in her job and she knew how people like him tried to merchandise themselves and to stay out of trouble when they did something wrong.

“Pet, please, think about my offer. Your situation isn’t something to be fooled around with. You need somebody who takes care of you. Why won’t you let me help?” Spike asked.

“Don’t you dare pet me, Mr. Wellings, I told you to leave and I won’t need your help. I am quite capable of taking car of myself. Now leave” the last two words were nearly screamed.

“But…” Spike started.

“Sir” the doctor cut Spike’s answer off” you heard Miss Summers. If she wants you to leave I have to respect her wishes.”

“I won’t leave without her” Spike answered stubbornly.

“Sir” the doctor answered, slight signs of nervousness shown in his voice “if you won’t leave on your won I’ll have to call security.”

“Let them come” Spike now was in the mood for a fight.

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Ten minutes later, front door of the hospital

“Get your hands off me you nits” Spike yelled at the two security guards showing him the way out of the hospital.

“I swear to everything high and mighty if you two nancy boys won’t let me go immediately I will see to that you two need new jobs” Spike still tried to wrestle himself free from the iron grip the two officers had on him.

The moment they reached the outside pavement Spike was released and in no uncertain terms told that he wasn’t allowed to come back inside to see Miss Summers.

“Bugger off you prick” were Spike’s parting words to the security guard that told him not to return. Spike turned around and called for a cab. A yellow car held next to the sidewalk and Spike entered the back. He gave the driver directions and pulled out his cell phone.

“Mate?” Spike queried.

“Yeah buddy, what’s up? You don’t sound so cheery” Xander answered Spike.

“Let’s meet downtown. I wanna get drunk” Spike continued.

“Okay” Xander drawled “somebody definitely is in need for some quality Xander time.”

“Whelp?! Just be there, you know I hate to drink alone. You know where you’ll find me” Spike answered, annoyance clearly showing in his voice before he disconnected the call.

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Meanwhile in Buffy’s hospital room

“Miss Summers, I can’t recommend your decision to take care of yourself” the doctor addressed Buffy.

“Does that mean that I can stay here in the hospital” Buffy falsely smiled at the doctor.

“I am sorry Miss Summers…” the doctor began.

“See, I can’t stay here, so I have to take care of myself” ‘like always’ Buffy mentally added.

“But…” the doctor tried one last time.

“No buts, just get me home. I have a ground floor apartment so I think me and the wheelchair will be fine” Buffy turned her head to look out of the window and show the doctor that the conversation was over.

“Okay Ms. Summers, the ambulance will take you home tomorrow. Tonight you will stay for observation” the doctor turned to leave the room.

Being alone again Buffy tried to will herself into sleep before the fears would return with a vengeance. Before the tears would spill. As much as she tried to be the strong woman when somebody was around as much she was only a fragile girl that had no ties to the world but herself. She once again realised just how alone she really was. A small thought nagged at the back of her mind. Perhaps she shouldn’t have declined Mr. Wellings offer.

She stubbornly pushed the thought back to where it came and turned around in her bed. At least as much as possible as she once again was confronted with her momentarily half-immobilized state.

Somehow sleep overcame her against all odds although it wasn’t the least restful. Uneasy dreams haunted her. Dreams where she tried to do something as trivial as opening the door after the bell had ringed and just being unable to do it herself. Dreams where she really recognized just how alone she felt.

She awoke startled, sweat dripping from every pore of her body. Her heart beat raced a mile a minute, blind panic overcame her and she started to shake. She turned over to the bedside table as good as possible in her state and tried to take the glass of water from it. Instead of taking it from the table she unintentionally pushed it off and it shattered into a million pieces on the ground.

Her shaking hand found a small card lying next to the spot where the piece of slivers formerly known as a glass full of water had stood and picked it up. She found Spike’s name printed on the front. She turned it around and found a phone number written on the back in a beautiful handwriting.

She unconsciously picked up the phone standing on the small bedside table and started to dial the number written on the back of the business card. It rang four times without anybody answering the call before Buffy heard the answering machine picking up. She disconnected the call and cried herself to sleep again.

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Spike awoke slowly, the world still spinning in his head. He thought he had heard the phone but when he saw no caller id he pushed the thought away, labelled it a dream He suddenly remembered that he had said that he would never drink again just the day before. Just another example for ‘the opposite of good are good intentions’ he thought sarcastically.

He opened his eyes and wondered where he was. It took his fogged brain a few seconds to recognize the study. He must’ve slept in his chair, his head lying on the table. He looked around and found Xander still passed out on the small leather couch. The floor around the room was filled with empty bottles mixed with clothing and other stuff Spike couldn’t yet recognize.

He stood up from the chair and stretched his sore muscles. He walked over to the still sleeping form of his friend. He tried to shake him awake but Xander wouldn’t respond to such a subtle try. A mischievous thought crossed Spike’s mind and he left the study with a foretelling smirk on his face.

He returned only seconds later a bowl of ice-cold water in his hands. He stopped in front of his sleeping buddy and tried one last time to find reasons against his little ‘attack’. He didn’t seem to have come up with something important cause in one swift motion he emptied the vessel onto Xander.

“Ahhhhhhh” Xander squealed like a little girl and jumped off the couch.

“Are you fucking insane” he yelled while he tried to wipe the water from his eyes “if you really don’t like me you should’ve just told me sometime…” Xander kept on ranting while Spike was busy laughing his ass off.

“You’re up for coffee and to face the day?” Spike still laughed at Xander.

“Bugger off” Xander miserably tried to imitate his friend’s accent which caused both of them to laugh.

“Let’s wake up” Spike patted Xander on the shoulder while they went for the kitchen for breakfast.

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The ambulance that took Buffy and her new companion by the name wheelchair home arrived in front of a nice apartment complex. The paramedics lifted her sitting in the wheelchair out of the back and placed her safely on the sidewalk. Buffy started to roll to the front door and one of the medics tried to help her. She lifted her hand and stopped the young man. She told him that she was more than capable to help herself and thanked him for goodbye.

When she reached the front door she pulled out her set of keys and let it fall to the ground. She cursed under her breath and tried to pick it up. The action itself developed into more of a workout than she liked and she was glad as she finally was able to grab it. She unlocked the door and wheeled down the corridor to the door of her apartment. She entered it and for the first time was really glad that she wasn’t so keen on seeing the skyline of News York every night. An apartment on the 10th floor wouldn’t have been practicable in her situation in any way.

She wheeled into her living room and contemplated her options for today. Work definitely wasn’t one of them and so she picked up the phone to tell her secretary that she wouldn’t work for quite a time from now.

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Sometime in the early afternoon Xander and Spike were still eating breakfast in front of the entertainment system in Spike’s living room.

“So let me ask again” Xander spoke up “because if I had asked yesterday I surely forgot. Why were you so upset yesterday that we had to drink ourselves into the next millennium?”

“I went to the hospital” Spike started to answer “and wanted to offer my help, but the only thing the stupid bint does is to let me get thrown out of the building.”

“Okay” Xander drawled “as hard as it seems to be understood that an engaged man like you, although I hate the fiancée, drinks himself into oblivion because of a girl that isn’t the certain fiancée, I’ll try. By the way where is the blonde mistress today?”

“Went to her mother for a few days…” Spike muttered. He had lost interest in the conversation with his mate since his mind was once again focussed on one little blonde girl needing help but not admitting it.

“Although I might not be a man of morals telling you so now” Xander cut into the stream of thoughts in Spike’s head “perhaps if it’s so important to you, you should visit her. Anybody else but Harmony will be best” he finished grinning.

“Maybe” was Spike only answer as he got up to return the plates to the kitchen and to take a shower.

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When it started to get darker outside Buffy rolled into the kitchen to prepare something to eat. The day so far had gone smoothly although she had to admit that she had avoided anything to stressful.

She reached into one of the neither cupboards and pulled out a medium sized pan. She filled it with water and put it onto the stove. She had decided that she wanted some simple pasta for dinner and so she started to heat up the water for the noodles. She reached into another cabinet and retrieved a smaller pan to prepare the sauce.

After she had both of the pots cooking on the stove she returned to the living room and turned up the volume of the TV. She was interested in the show currently running on one of the channels and so she wanted to listen it although she was in the kitchen. She returned to said room to find the water had reached the right temperature.

She pulled out the pasta from the package and tried to put it into the pan. She didn’t recognize that she had forgotten to put on the brakes for the wheelchair so it rolled backwards when Buffy stretched forward to fill the pan. She lost her balance and fell from the chair pulling the pan full of hot water with her to the ground. She yelped in surprise when she burned her left arm with the hot fluid.

“Just my stupid luck…” she muttered while she tried to get back into the wheelchair. After a few minutes of fruitless tries she saw that she wouldn’t be able to lift herself back into the chair. The kitchen range simply was too high to grab it and the aching in her already sore muscles and the burn on her left arm wouldn’t allow any more tryout stunts with the wheelchair. So she tried to yell for help but somehow her voice just couldn’t drown the noise the TV from the living room made. She started to panic and felt the monster of incapacity greeting her again with a vengeance.

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After having contemplated the idea of visiting Buffy the whole day Spike finally had found the guts to actually do so. He had stopped on his way over to her flat to buy a huge bouquet. He hoped that it would cheer her up again and possibly stop her from calling the police this time.

He found the apartment complex which address he had memorized from the case sheet from the day before and parked his car in the next side road. He got out and walked to the entrance of the building. An elder woman just left the building and held the front door open for him. He thanked the old lady and went down the hallway. He found Buffy’s apartment and rang the bell. When nobody answered he tried knocking on the door. He heard the TV blaring inside and so he knew that she would be at home. She still didn’t answer the door so he started to call her name.

“Buffy?”

“Buffy, it’s me please open up, I just stopped by to see if everything is alright. I feel miserable for what happened…” he had to stop when he heard something like sobbing for a moment when the TV seemed a bit quieter.

“Buffy?” he queried again and again he heard the sobbing.

His mind went blank and he pulled out one of his credit cards and tried to open the door while still hoping that she wouldn’t have locked it. After breaking two of his credit cards and some well needed cursing later the door finally gave in and Spike rushed into the apartment.

He found Buffy’s sobbing form lying on the ground and rushed over to her to see if she was okay. He cradled her into his arms and waited until she had calmed down and broken out of her panic.

She suddenly looked into his eyes and hers hardened.

“What are you doing here?” she growled.

“Obviously helping you” he growled in return.

“I don’t need your help” she replied flatly.

“Yeah sure, whatever” Spike started to get up and cradled her into his arms.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Putting you back in the wheelchair” he answered.

“Why do you even care?” she tried to be mean.

“I don’t know and I don’t care why I don’t” he said through clenched teeth. His jaw clenched so hard that it might just have broken if he hadn’t said something and loosened it by that.

After he had put Buffy back into the wheelchair, he went to the stove and turned it off. Next he entered the living room to switch off the TV and finally entered Buffy’s bedroom. She didn’t see him go in there because the door wasn’t in her line of sight.

He returned minutes later with a bag over his shoulder and started to roll Buffy towards the apartment door.

“Hey where are we going? And why do you have my bag over your shoulder” she was really angry now.

“My place, both of us” he simply stated while he fetched her keys from the small table and locked the door behind them.

“Stop it right now” she yelled “who do you think you are to decide what I do?”

He rolled her down the hallway not bothering to answer her question.

“Answer me” she yelled again.

“I. am. the. one. taking. care. of. you. from. now. on.” He pronounced every word slowly and with a slight pause.

They reached his car seconds later and Spike sat Buffy into the passenger seat. He then folded the wheelchair and put it into the trunk before he finally entered the car himself.

“I hate you Mr. Wellings” Buffy tried to put every piece of hatred she could find in herself into that sentence.

“The name ‘s Spike, and that is quite a familiar feeling” Spike returned.
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To be continued…

Upcoming: Chapter 4: Home Sweet Home