Stricken

Part Two

Xander woke up freezing. Which really wasn’t all that unusual, since the basement was always pretty cold, but he usually didn’t wake up lying on the concrete floor, every muscle in his body aching and protesting every small movement.

Blinking open his eyes, he tried to sit up and bit back a yelp of surprise. He also usually didn’t wake up in a cage. Especially not completely naked.

Scooting backwards so that his back was against the rough, cold wall, he drew up his knees and wrapped his arms around them, trying to make out the rest of the dim room in the dull light of dawn.

What the hell?

Unable to control them, his teeth started chattering from the cold, and from more than a little fear, since his mind was swarming with all kinds of reasons for him to be naked in a cold dark cell. None of which held any appeal for him whatsoever.

There was movement from the far side of the room, a big shadow moving, and he had to bite his tongue to keep from crying out, pressing back harder against the wall. He also had to bite back the growl that almost rumbled from his throat, courtesy of the wolf pacing in his head that felt the best defense was a good offense.

Said wolf, however, hadn’t survived almost nineteen years on the Hellmouth. He knew that growling at the large looming shadows, especially if you happened to be naked and caged, was not of the smarter things to be doing.

No, you just hunched down and pretended you couldn’t see them in the hopes that they couldn’t see you.

“Xander?”

Of course, it never worked, but it was always worth a try.

“A-Angel?” He was naked, caged and Angel was in the room.

If the world was just, a big hole would appear under him to take him out of this mess, because that was just too much to take, even for him. Not to mention, very reminiscent of more than one or two dreams, er nightmares!, that he’d had over the years.

A light flickered on and he ducked his face down onto his arms, wincing at the harsh glare to his still-sensitive eyes. Memories of the past day and night were slowly starting to coalesce in his mind, tumbling over one another in their haste to be seen, and he shook his head roughly, not wanting to deal with it all yet.

They were never good memories. Not that he’d had much experience with the morning after being all hairy and howling at the moon, but last month’s batch hadn’t been the best start.

Oz had told him before that he couldn’t remember anything when he was changed but Xander could remember almost everything if he tried. He just didn’t want to.

“Xander?” he heard again and rolled his eyes from where he had his face hidden in his arms. Of course it was him, who else would be in this situation?

“What do you want, Angel?” he mumbled, not raising his head.

He heard him heave a sigh and almost smiled. At least Angel hadn’t changed much since the last time he had seen the vampire.

“An explanation would be good, for starters, but I think it can wait until you put some clothes on and get out of that cage. Although I doubt you can die from hypothermia anymore, Cordelia would kick my ass if I left you in there,” Angel grumbled.

“As much as I really want to see that, I have to go with the putting on clothes option,” he said quietly, peeking up from his arms and squinting in the bright light. Angel was standing by the door of the cage- the unlocked door to the cage, he noted with chagrin- holding a pair of soft looking grey sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt.

He must have destroyed his last night. Changing was hell on the clothes.

When it didn’t look like Angel was going to move, Xander arched an eyebrow and motioned towards the clothes. “Can you ah… let me get dressed or is the peep show part of the payment for your lovely and comfortable accommodations?”

Angel blinked, shifting uncomfortably, and Xander was positive that if the vampire could blush, his face would be three shades of red. “Yeah, sorry. I’ll just be…” he waved a hand towards the door by the staircase, “in there when you get ready.”

Xander nodded and watched as he laid the clothes on the table in the center of the room, before walking through the door and closing it firmly. Rolling his head around on his neck, Xander sighed as he flexed his back. Sleeping on the cold concrete had made him into one big ache and he wasn’t looking forward to trying to walk.

It was easing with every minute, though, and he knew that within the hour, every ache would be gone from his body. For the first time since getting bit, he was actually grateful for it.

Not enough to want to stay this way, of course, he told the wolf when it perked up at that. No reason to give it any hope that they could continue on with their strange symbiosis. And wouldn’t Willow be grateful to know that at least part of her tutoring in biology had paid off?

Willow…

And just that easily, his mood was black once again.

***

Angel was pacing before the door even closed, mentally kicking himself and wondering what the hell was wrong with him.

He didn’t like Xander, he had never liked Xander, he insisted to his demon when it reminded him of the few times as Angelus he had considered turning the boy. I had just wanted to hurt Buffy!

When it mockingly flashed memories of the things Angelus had fantasized about, Xander naked and hanging in chains, bleeding from almost every part of his body, Xander tied down to his bed, struggling and screaming, Xander hunting alongside him, blood on those full pink lips…, he snarled at it and tried to ignore the heated scenes.

While he had known that the boy would be naked, of course, he hadn’t expected him to be so, well…naked. All that sleek tanned skin, lithe muscles… and then Xander had looked up, eyes wild and enormous, dilated black until they got into the light and the pupils contracted to tiny dots in a sea of chocolate brown, almost like a cat’s eyes did. His shaggy black curls mussed and framing his face, full lips pouting up at him…

Shaking his head, he growled softly.

He did not want Xander Harris.

Then his door opened and he whirled around, actually feeling his eyes flicker gold as he took in the absolutely enticing picture the boy made standing there in his clothes. Grey sweats hanging loose and low on his hips, white t-shirt setting off his bronze skin, hiking up to reveal a taut tanned abdomen as he brushed at his black hair with his hands, trying to smooth it down. White teeth biting into a luscious bottom lip, dark eyes looking at him warily, tanned feet shifting on the faded carpet, toes curling, as the boy realized he was staring…

Oh fuck. He wanted Xander Harris.

***

Oh fuck. Angel looked pissed.

Warily stopping in the doorway as the vampire’s eyes flickered gold, he bit his lip and watched for any sign of attack. Not that he expected Angel to go all Angelusy but better safe than sorry, right?

“You, ah.. told me to come in here?” he asked finally, when it didn’t look like the vampire was going to say anything, just stand there staring at him like he wasn’t sure who he was.

“Yeah. Let’s um..” Angel motioned towards the huge bed in the corner of the room before stopping and coughing uncomfortably. Changing direction, he led him back out of the bedroom, by the cage and to the far side of the room, where there was a small couch.

Sitting down on one end of the couch, Xander drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin on them as he watched the older man sit uneasily on the other end.

“So how did this happen?” Angel finally asked, motioning towards him, as if he didn’t already know what the dark vampire was talking about.

“I got bit.”

He held back a smirk when that response brought the expected sigh and exasperated look and then dropped his eyes. He didn’t really want to go into the whole story, but if anyone could help, surely it would be Angel and his little group of detectives. Cringing at the memory of him begging Angel to kill him, he amended that to helping him get rid of the wolf and still being alive.

He didn’t want to die, not really. It had all just felt so hopeless the last few days, as he felt the beast rising up in him again, taking over his every thought and movement until he didn’t feel safe around anyone.

The trip on the bus to LA was a total blank in his mind, though he could remember the confrontation with Angel very clearly. Unfortunately.

“Willow came to me two months ago, all upset over Oz. Said there was this girl he was attracted to, scared her, y’know? So I went to ask him about it, figured I’d catch him around his cage before the moon came up… give him the shovel talk.” He shook his head slowly, remembering that night.

He had been slow leaving the house, his mother yelling and throwing things. It hadn’t been until he was almost in the room with Oz that he had realized how late it was and he had been about to leave, but had heard some loud noises down there. Stupidly, when he had seen the two werewolves in the cage, he had stormed over and banged on the side of it, his anger over what Oz was doing to Willow greater than his fear.

“He was there in his cage, but with another wolf. That girl Wills was worried about, but I didn’t know that then. I got too close and one of them reached out and bit me. Don’t know which one, I left in shock and by the time I talked to Willow the next day, Oz was leaving and he had killed the other wolf to keep her off of Willow.”

Angel stared at him a minute before asking softly, “How do the rest of them feel about all this?”

Picking guiltily at the side of the couch, Xander stared down at his feet and shrugged, hoping Angel would go on and ask something else.

“Xander… They do know, right?”

“Well.. no?” At Angel’s exasperated look, he rushed to add, “It all just happened so fast, I felt sick and went home to lie down. By the time I could tell anyone, Willow was all heartbroken and I didn’t want to bring it all up again. She had enough to worry about. I just… hoped it would all go away, y’know?”

“I can’t believe you thought you could deal with something like this all on your own. Why didn’t you tell Giles or Buffy, at least?” the vampire said, shaking his head.

“Willow still woulda found out,” he mumbled, feeling silly because he knew he couldn’t keep it from her forever, but not wanting to do anything to upset her.

Angel sighed, which made the wolf in his mind flop down on its belly in remorse for disappointing the vampire. Which was really…strange, since the last time he checked, his wolf half didn’t give a damn about anyone.

Searching his memories of last night for any reason that he would feel upset over upsetting Angel of all people, his eyes widened and snapped to the vampire, as his hands came up to feel around his neck.

“You bit me!” he yelped out, feeling the tiny ridges of scar tissue on the side of his neck.

“You attacked me!” Angel replied, looking only the tiniest bit ashamed. “I had to do something to get you to calm down a few minutes.”

“And biting me is supposed to calm me down?” Xander demanded, his voice going higher even as he wanted to totally change the subject, because for some reason, he now wanted to crawl over and let Angel reassure him that everything would be okay.

“I had to establish dominance,” he said, crossing his arms and looking slightly sullen, which would have amused Xander except for…

“Dominance? Why am I really not liking the sound of that?”

When Angel started to answer, he waved his hands and shook his head. “I really don’t want to know. Let’s just forget it ever happened, okay?”

Angel nodded, looking relieved and still slightly sullen. “So why don’t you tell me why this upset you enough for you to come here and demand I kill you? I mean, it’s only three days a month and Oz seemed to handle it okay.”

Xander sighed, laying his head back down on his arms. “Yeah, but for me, it’s more than just three days. I can always feel it, up under my skin, pushing and clawing. The days right before the full moon are the worst. I steel plated and sound proofed my closet in the basement, thanks to my carpentry days, and had to lock myself in every night for almost a week, but even when I’m human, I do things. And unlike Oz, I can remember almost everything I do.”

He bit his lip and glanced up at Angel, finding his dark eyes watching him intently. “I can’t control it, Angel. I’m so afraid I’m going to end up hurting someone again.”

“Again?”

“I almost raped Buffy when I was possessed by the hyena,” he said softly, and Angel nodded. Buffy must have told him about that, then. Taking a deep breath in, he admitted slowly, “This time it was almost Willow.”