Couch Confessionals

Title: Couch Confessionals
Author: claudia6913
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: A/S
Summary: *Spoiler for AtS Season 5* What's up with the couch in Angel's office? Everytime Angel and Spike sit on it they end up confessing something new. Where will it lead? Set during and after 'Hellbound'.
Warnings: Slash m/m
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own anything, it's all in the hands of Joss and Co.
Distribution: SoG, Vampyre Haven, BBB, and anywhere else I post. All others just ask. My work is archived at http://www.angelfire.com/vamp/claudia6913
Spoilers: AtS Season 5
Author's Notes: Ok, so I'm bored, wanted some Spike and Angel action which got me to thinking about the little confession Angel made about Spike's poetry while they were sitting on the couch in his office. Takes place during and after 'Hellbound'. I kind of reworked the ending, made Spike corporeal a little sooner then in the show. Everything has happened up until the point Spike and Angel get to his office. This was supposed to be all smutty, but then it went to a serious and angsty place.
Feedback: But of course, are you nuts? ghoztstarz@yahoo.com


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Chapter 3a

"Harmony," Angel said into the intercom, "Have Records cross-reference everything on Spike and I, and send it up."

"Sure thing, Boss," Harmony said. Angel sat waiting for the files when she came across the intercom again. "Uh, Boss, what do you mean by 'cross-reference'?"

Angel sighed and said, "Never mind. Just get me connected to Records. I'll ask them myself. You can get me a glass of blood."
"No "No problem Boss!" she said enthusiastically. He really wasn't in the mood for 'bubbly' Harmony. Not when Spike was riding the fine line between his ghostly state, and true death.

Spike's words continued to ring in his ears. Every word ringing frighteningly true. He didn't care. Why should he? Ever since he had gotten his soul, what was it...three times now, he's been fighting against everything he had once represented. Vampires, and Spike was lumped right in there with them. He had even set his lovely Drusilla on fire, all for getting in the way. He'd been after Darla, not Drusilla.

Harmony walked into the office, blood and paper in hand, and cleared her throat. "Here ya go Boss," she said walking up to his desk. "A nice warm glass of blood, and the extension for Records. Anything else?"

"No," he said grabbing the piece of paper and picking up the phone. He made the request to the mono-tonal worker, and hung up. Looking up, he saw Harmony still standing their, fidgeting with the buttons on her blouse. He could tell by smell alone that she was nervous, and her stance screamed 'questions'. "What?" Angel asked.

"Oh, well, I was just wondering...," Harmony said coming a little closer to his desk. "Uh, what do you need with records of Spike? I mean you guys have known each other for...well a long time. I'd think you'd know everything and--"

"Harmony," Angel said cutting her off. "If I wanted you to know I'd tell you."

"Fine. I was just wondering," she said softly. He'd hurt her feelings, yet he just didn't care. He had more important things to think about. Like family, and how everything had come to this. So wrapped up in his thoughts was he, Angel didn't even notice Harmony leave and a messenger boy come in and deliver a stack of twenty compact disks all labeled 'Angelus/Spike'.

Angel continued staring off in that place he went when nothing around him registered, and all he was left with were his thoughts, his memories. Years worth of blood, soul or no soul, blood ran rampant through his life. Every day was filled with it, in some form or another. From veins, or in glasses. It made no difference anymore, it was all red and flowing.

He reached for the glass Harmony had brought in for him and drank quickly then set it aside. Noticing the stack of compact disks he grabbed desperately for them and flipped through. Each CD was meticulously marked with years, and even locations on some.

Curious, Angel inserted the CD with the earliest date, 1753. He knew what would be on this CD, but was none the less in wonder of what the all mighty law firm would deem important enough for their files. Opening the folder on the computer he read.

It was all about him. From his childhood, to adulthood, and then on to Vampire-hood. Angel was surprised to find out exactly how much they knew about him. Not even the Watchers had this much information, he doubted they even knew his human name. He had to sort through some of the more legal words to get to the heart of what was being read.

None of this was new to him. He knew exactly what kind of 'man' he was as Liam. A drunken lay-about that was only destined to death, either at the hands of a jealous husband or some sexual disease. All that had changed though when he met Darla in that alley. It changed everything. Then he'd become the thing that brought death to everyone he kissed. Destruction to every town or home he visited. He'd relived this portion of his life, his time with Darla, so often that he didn't need the fancy words on the screen. Angel had his own memories for that.

Removing the disk he moved on, flipping through two more disks that held things he could describe in more, up close detail. He debated seeing what they had to say on his 'courting' of Drusilla, but that wasn't what he was after. William, Spike was what he wanted to read about, needed to know. What his boy had done in the years Angel wasn't there?

Angel inserted the CD labeled 'William/Drusilla London, England 1880'. He only vaguely remembered this day. Not having actually been there for the Siring of William, he knew only a few details. Some of which were given by Drusilla, and therefore were almost useless.

A sniffling, crying, whining man bumping into them telling he and Darla to watch where they were going. William had had no idea to whom, or rather what he was speaking to. Angel had never in all the years as Angelus bothered to find out why William had been crying that night. It wasn't important, it was a life left. Dead and gone. Like so many others through the years. Now it seemed almost vitally important.

Wolfram & Hart had done some of their homework on the young William. Though, their research hadn't started until about a year ago. Apparently Spike was of no concern to them...until that is, he got his shinny new soul. Many records had been lost through the years. No last name was known for William. Only details scattered through the ages, and those collected by the Watcher's Council were available to the law firm.

Apparently it looked as though William had been a poet. A bad one at that. Never amounting to much and over zealous. Reading a bit mongelngel was surprised, though not much, that William's father had died while he was still a child of three. He was raised by his mother. That could be part of the reason for the young vampire William always butted heads with Angelus. He wasn't used to having to compete for attention with another male figure around.

So many fights, so many arguments between the two head strong males. It was always fighting, fucking, or killing with Angelus and William. Sometimes all three at once. It would always start off with Angelus taunting William about the fact that Drusilla always chose her Sire over her Childe. Even as a vampire his proper upbringing would not allow William to accept the fact that his love was not faithful to him. Yet he never blamed her. Always choosing instead to blame Angelus. Saying that it was his fault, he'd lured her into his bed.

Angel winced remembering the first time he'd taunted William with Drusilla's infidelity. Tears poured down the young vampire's face, red tinted tears of pain, hurt and anguish, before they finally gave over to rage and anger. William had charged at Angelus attempting to kill him or at least hurt him. All Angelus had done was laugh at the pitiful attempt, being much stronger than the younger vampire, everything fell away like feathers. That had only served to add fire to William's flame.

When he'd found that his blows were not affecting the older vampire, William had taken off on a killing spree. He had taken to the streets and washed them with the blood of the people. London had been washed in red that night. By the time William had come home, everyone was after them, including the Watcher's. They'd had to flee the city in fear of their immortal lives due to his rampage.

Angelus was not pleased at all. He abhorred fleeing. It made him feel weak, and he was not weak. He was a master vampire by that time in his own right. Teaching William the error of his ways was a treat for the mighty Angelus. Days, no weeks of torture at his hand. Angel could still hear the crack of the whip, the rattle of the chains, and the cries and pleas of William to stop. Saying over and over again that he was sorry. It was the first and last time William ever apologized.

Sitting back Angel took a deep un-needed breath and sat back looking away from the screen. Tears yet to be shed sat welling in Angel's eyes. Swallowing a lump in his throat Angel could taste William's blood from that night when he'd licked at the wounds he'd caused.

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*A/N* This will be a multi-part chapter, otherwise it would be insanely long!