Bad Can Be Good (RE-VAMPED)

Author’s Note: Lyrics are in ‘ ‘. Song titles and artists will be listed at the end of the chapter in the order they appeared.



When she woke up later Buffy called Sarah and asked her to hang out with herself, Willow, and Tara for a while. The three Sunnydale girls agreed it would be better if Anya didn’t go with them, the ex-demon was still having trouble with tact. The night before the group had decided to try and spend some time with the singer, hopefully take her mind off her troubles. Sarah agreed and asked them to come over to her place. Michael was working today so they’d have the place to themselves.

“So, tell me about Sunnydale.” Sarah said as they sat in her living room.

“Not much to tell, really. Small town, not a lot to it.” Buffy said.

“Did you all grow up there?”

“Nope, I did but Buffy was born in LA and Tara grew up in North Dakota. What about you, have you always lived in Roswell?” Willow asked.

“I was born here but I moved to New York when I was young. I just moved back about a year ago.”

“I always wanted to go to New York.” Willow said. “I like big cities.”

“Me too. I miss it, when I first came back to Roswell never intended to stay but…”

“Then you met Michael?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah. I love him, I really, really do but I know he’s not ready to be a dad and I’m definitely not ready to be a mom. We both had pretty rough childhoods, My parents died when I was young and Michael never even knew his.”

“We’re here for you, Sarah. We were talking last night and even though Xander and Anya have to go back to Sunnydale soon Willow, Tara, Spike and I can stay as long as you want. I know you still have a few weeks of school left but we’re finished for the year.” Buffy said.

“That means a lot. Normally I wouldn’t accept but I could really use the support. I’d love it if you stayed until I have to tell them. Which shouldn’t be that much longer.” Sarah said. “I weighed my self today, in the last two weeks I’ve gained almost ten pounds. Michael will start to notice pretty soon unless I start saying no sex, then he’ll know something’s up. Are you sure you should stay? I mean, Buffy, you said your mom was sick.”

“I called her when I got up today and talked to her about it. She went to the doctor yesterday and he said she’s doing fine. She said she wouldn’t mind if I stayed.”

“Thank you so much, guys. God, look at me, I can’t seem to stop crying lately.” Sarah said as her eyes teared up. “I’m not normally so emotional, honest.”

“It’s ok. We understand.” Tara said with a soft smile.

“I’ll have to talk to Michael but if you want you can all stay here when the other’s leave. But I only have two spare bedrooms, though.”

“That sounds good. Spike can fend for himself.” Buffy said.

“I still don’t know how to tell the others.” Sarah said.

“You could start with the girls. They would probably take it better than the boys.” Tara said.

“You’re right but I know if I told Crys she’d tell Max, same with Isabel. If I told Liz she’d tell Maria and Maria can’t keep a secret to save her life. If I told Jess she’d end up telling Crys and so on and so forth.”

“Do your friends know what the definition of a secret is?” Buffy asked.

“All of my friends are really, really close. We’ve never really had to keep secrets from each other except when we first met. In my group if you say the words ‘don’t tell anyone’ they automatically start acting weird and someone grills them till the secret is out. Michael and I are really the only two that can keep a secret.”

“But you’ll have to tell them eventually. In a word, soon.” Willow said.

“I know, I keep thinking I should just tell them, you know. I mean I know he’s not ready to be a father but if he loved me he’d accept it.”

“Right, so what’s the problem?” Buffy asked.

“I know he loves me, but I’m not sure he loves me enough.” Sarah said sadly.

“You’re just going to have to hope for the best but I’ve seen you two together, I don’t think there is anything that could Michael stop loving you.” Willow said a romantic look in her eye.

“I guess it’s not really me I’m worried about him loving.” Sarah said putting a hand on her stomach. “Let’s talk about something else, before I start to cry again. So, when are Xander and Anya leaving?”

“The day after tomorrow.” Tara said.

“Okay, make sure they come to the club tonight. I’ll do something special with the band to say goodbye.” Sarah said.

“That’s sweet of you.” Tara said.

“You guys are good people. I can tell.”

“How? You can tell when people are lying, you can tell what kind of people we are. What aren’t you telling us?” Buffy asked.

“Nothing. I’m just really observant, that’s all.” Sarah said. “Anyway I should be heading to the club. I have rehearsal.”

“Alright. We’ll see you there.” Willow said.


~~~~~


“There’s Max and Michael.” Xander said when they entered the club.

The small group from Sunnydale moved to join their new friends. They sat and talked and listened to The Believers play. When they came to the last song of their first set Sarah stepped up to the mic and got everyone to quiet down.

“A few days ago I met some visitors to Roswell. They’re all amazing people and I’m sad to say two of them will be leaving soon. Xander, Anya, I adore you guys. This one’s for you.”

She began a song she remembered the couple said they really liked.

When the last line faded into the cheers of the crowd Sarah jumped from the stage to where Anya and Xander were standing.

“That was so sweet of you.” Anya said hugging the girl.

“I know we just met but I’m gonna miss you both. I’m happy to call both of you my friends.” Sarah said.

“Before you have the baby you have to promise to come to Sunnydale and I’ll throw you a baby shower.” Anya said.

“That’s so nice, Anya. I promise.” Sarah said squeezing the older girl’s hand. “I have to go talk to Michael.”

They watched the singer walked her boyfriend and sat on his lap.

“That was nice, what you said to her.” Xander said.

“There’s something about her, Xander. I really like her.” The ex-demon said hugging her fiancé then leading her back towards the table.

“ I’ve got a new one to play. We’re doing it last. I better go.” Sarah was saying. She kissed Michael quickly then got up and started toward the backstage stopping to talk to the group from Sunnydale.

“Did she gain some weight?” Isabel asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe, why?” Michael said.

“Well, last month I was shopping with her when she bought those jeans, they were too loose. Now they look sorta tight.”

“She probably shrunk them.” Liz said.

“Yeah.” Isabel said. “Probably.” Watching as the singer made her way to the door to the back.

Max pushed two tables together then invited Buffy and her friends to join them. They talked and danced and listened to the band but Isabel never moved from her seat and hardly said a word.

“You okay?” Willow asked the blonde.

“Fine, thanks. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Sarah. I’m worried about her. She’s like a sister to me and she’s been acting so strange lately. I know something’s wrong and it kills me that she won’t talk to me about it.”

“I’m sure everything’s fine. I know Sarah trusts you and I know she loves you.”

“Thanks, Willow.”

The band came to the last song of the night.

“What’s wrong with her?” Spike asked Buffy. “She looks nervous.”

“She probably is. She’s planning on telling Michael tonight.”

“When did she decide this?” Spike asked.

“I don’t know, when we first got here she pulled me aside and said she was going to. I wonder what changed her mind?”

Sarah started a fast tempo and tried to lose her worries as she sang.


‘Cut my tongue out
I’ve been called out
Like a giant juggernaut
Happy hours, golden showers
On a cruise to freak you out
We could fly a helicopter
Nothing left to talk about
Entertain you, celebrate you
I’ll be back to bring you

When I grow up
I’ll be stable
When I grow up
I’ll turn the tables

Tryin’ hard to fit among you
Floatin’ out to Wonderland
Unprotected, god I’m pregnant
Damn the consequences

When I grow up
I’ll be stable
When I grow up
I’ll turn the tables

Blood and blisters on my fingers
Chaos rules when we’re apart
Watch my temper I go mental
I’ll try to be gentle

When I grow up
I’ll be stable
When I grow up
I’ll turn the tables
When I grow up
When I grow up
When I grow up
I’ll turn the tables

Don’t take offense
Better make amends
Rip it all to shreds
And let it go
Don’t take offense
Better make amends
Rip it all to shreds
And let it go
Rip it all to shreds
And let it go
Rip it all to shreds
And let it go
Rip it all to shreds
And let it go’


Buffy, Anya, Tara, Xander, Willow, and Spike had all gotten quiet. None of them had missed the line in her song, which told her friends she was pregnant. Buffy looked over and saw Max and his friends laughing and talking and cheering. They obviously hadn’t gotten it. Her eyes scanned each teen and stopped when they hit Isabel. The pretty blonde was sitting very still with her mouth hanging open staring at the stage.

I guess one of them got it. The slayer thought just as Sarah and Crys joined them.

Buffy was just about to warn Sarah when Isabel stood up.

“When were you gonna tell us, Sarah?” The blonde asked.

Buffy stood up and put a supporting hand on Sarah’s shoulder.

“I don’t know. I guess I was just waiting for the right time. I was…am scared.”

“You should have told me.” Isabel said taking the girl in her arms. “Congratulations, honey.”

“Thanks, Issy.”

“Okay, what’d we miss?” Alex asked.

“Um, guys. I’m…uh.” Sarah closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Oh god. I’m pregnant. Michael, we’re pregnant.” Sarah said.

“What?” Max asked, his voice deadly.

“I’m almost 5 months pregnant, Max.”

“How could you let this happen?”

“I didn’t let it happen, Max, we were careful it just did.”

“Can you still get rid of it?”

“I’m not getting rid of it. How could you even ask me to?”

“Sarah, we are in constant danger. Everyday something new pops up and you want to bring a child into that?”

“Max, I just can’t do it. Michael, help me here. Say something.”

“What do you expect me to say, Sarah? Do you want me to get a gushy and make baby sounds. Max is right. You have to get rid of it, if you don’t want to get an abortion I understand but when it’s born you have to put it up for adoption or something.”

“Michael.” Sarah whispered, tears coming to her eyes and a sob leaving her lips.

“Bloody hell, what are you thinking?” Spike said. “Come on, pet.” The vampire took Sarah’s hand and led the sobbing girl away.

“I didn’t know that was how you felt. Does this mean you never wanna have kids?” Crys asked Max. When he didn’t answer she shook her head and went off after Spike. The rest of the Sunnydale crew followed.

The group piled into Xander’s van and the ride to Sarah’s was made mostly in silence. They were about to pull into the driveway when Sarah, who had been quietly crying the whole ride looked up and made a small sound.

“What is it, luv?” Spike asked.

“Guys, I want to leave. I want us all to go to Sunnydale.” Sarah said.

“Really?” Tara asked.

“Yes, right now I just want to pack my stuff and leave.”

“Sarah, Michael will come around.” Buffy said.

“He shouldn’t have to come around. He once told me he’d love me forever, no matter what. I can’t be here right now.”

“Then I’m going with.” Crys said. “Spike told me all about this club in Sunnydale called the Bronze. If we get Darcy and John to go with us we could probably get some gigs.”

“Where will you all stay?” Anya asked.

“If you really want to do this Sarah then you have to stay with me.” Buffy said.

“And Crys, Darcy and John can stay with us.” Willow said and Tara nodded.

“That’s really sweet guys but I’ve got cash enough to put me and the band up.” Sarah said.

“Nope, I insist. This way I can keep my eye on you, make sure you stay out of trouble. And I know my mom and Dawn would love to have you.”

“Alright. But can we leave tonight?”

“Sure.” Buffy said after everyone else nodded. “But are you positive this is what you want?”

“I really am. It seems like the only way I can deal is to get away and clear my head for a while.” Sarah said firmly.

Anya and Willow helped Sarah pack some clothes while Xander drove Crys to the house she shared with the band and Spike and Tara grabbed a few odds and ends Sarah asked them to get. It wasn’t long before Sarah’s stuff was ready to go and Crystal pulled up in the band’s van with Darcy, John, and their equipment and clothes.

“Crys, you have to promise me you won’t tell Max where we are. It won’t take them long to guess but you have to promise me you won’t tell him where we’re staying.”

“I promise Sarah. I just wish you’d told me. You shouldn’t have had to deal with this alone.”

“I just wasn’t sure how to tell you. I’m sorry, Crys.”

“It’s okay.” She said hugging her best friend.

While Sarah grabbed her credit cards and the stash of money she kept in the house, leaving her bank account number for Michael and instructions so he could take money out to pay bills his paycheck didn’t cover, she asked Crys to run an errand for her. When she returned they got ready to leave.

“On to Sunnydale.” She said and got into the van.

While Sarah was getting things together Buffy had called her mom. As she thought her mother was more than willing to put Sarah up for as long as she needed. Buffy could tell her mother was angry at how Michael had reacted.

Xander pulled out and Crys followed in the band’s van and John brought up the rear in Sarah’s Jaguar.

~~~


“Welcome to Sunnyhell.” Spike said, waking Sarah from her light sleep the next night as they pulled up to Buffy’s house.

Spike helped Buffy and Sarah get their things into the house then said goodnight.

“Just leave that stuff, we can get it tomorrow.” Buffy said.

“Okay.”

“I’m beat. You ready to crash.”

“More than ready.”

“Good. You mind sharing my bed tonight? Dawn said tomorrow night she’ll start sleeping in my room with me and you can have hers.”

“That’s so nice. Thank you so much for this Buffy. I just couldn’t stay in Roswell.”

“I understand. What are you going to do? I mean Michael or Max will probably come after you.”

“I doubt that.” Sarah said, a devilish grin coming over her features.

“What did you do?” Buffy asked.

“I sorta had Crystal buy four bus tickets to San Francisco and leave the receipt on her kitchen table, where Max is sure to check for a note.”

“You’re good.” Buffy said as she led Sarah upstairs.

“I know.”

Song:
When I Grow Up - Garbage