Still You

Later that afternoon, Halfrek came to the Summers house and entered through the back door. She found Spike sitting on the island of the kitchen, staring absently at a now empty mug.
“Hey,” she said with a smile.
Her smile disappeared when she saw the look on his face.
“What happened ?”
He shrugged.
“Nothing. Nothing new.”
She frowned.
“Did you had a fight ?”
He laughed bitterly.
“ Not really, no. Things are so bloody complicated…”
“Does that mean you’re staying ?”
“It’s a hard decision…I don’t know.”
Halfrek smiled sadly.
“Oh, I think you do, William. Yesterday you were considering leaving, and now you’re moving in with her.”
“I’m not…it’s temporary. The sooner I’m out of here, the better.”
Something serious must have happen between those two. He seemed so broken, so desperate.
She came closer, put her hand on his shoulder.
“Did you tell her about your leaving ?”
“You’re leaving ?”
They both turned to the door where Buffy was standing, watching them with incredulity.
Spike immediately stood up.
“Buffy…”
“You’re leaving ?” she repeated. “With her ? Is that why…Oh my God…”
She turned back, running upstairs.
“Buffy !” Spike shouted, ready to go after her. But Halfrek stopped him.
“Wait…I’ll go talk to her.”
He took her hand.
“I’m sorry, Cecily. I love her too much to leave. And I don’t care if that makes me a pathetic bloke…”
“Don’t worry. I understand. It wasn’t probably a good idea anyway. When you know what true love is…you can’t go for less.”
She left him, going upstairs to find Buffy.
Buffy was in her room, furiously rummaging through her weapons chest. Halfrek watched her with horror.
“You’re not gonna stake him, are you ?”
“What…? Of course not ! I’m looking for the most appropriate weapon for tonight.”
Halfrek relaxed.
“Does that mean you’re still helping us ?”
“I said I would help you. This…doesn’t change anything.”
For a moment, Halfrek considered telling her Spias nas not leaving. But after all, Slayer or not, the girl deserved a little hard time too…
“ I’m sorry to tell you this, Buffy, because you’re going to help us, but…you don’t deserve him.”
“I know” Buffy stated simply.
A little surprised, Halfrek asked:
“You do?”
“Yes. I realize that now. But it’s too late. I pushed him away. It’s all my fault.”
“You feel guilty about him ?”
“Yes…among other things. But you’re a vengeance demon. How can you understand what guilt is ?”
“Guilt ? I know something about guilt, believe me ! It was my fault if William rushed out that night and met that vampire…whatever her name was. Because I had rejected him when the only thing I wanted was to hold him. And you know the worse ? He actually thanked me for
it ! Because immortality allowed him to meet you ! That’s what he told me. But you broke his heart, now. You broke him. Because you’re a self-conscious bitch who can’t see what’s in front of her own eyes !”
Buffy looked so shocked that Halfrek calmed down instantly.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said…”
“No” Buffy interrupted her. “You are right. Completely right. I’m everything you said, and more.”
She sat on the bed, put her hand in front of her eyes, fighting the tears and failing. Halfrek looked at her in pity. The girl was obviously very much in love with him, but had no idea how to deal with it.
Sighing, she sat next to her.
“ Buffy…It’s not too late. Don’t make the same mistake I did...If you love him, tell him, for God’s sake. You’ll feel so much better, believe me.”
Despite her tears, Buffy smiled.
“You’re talking like him.”
“ I guess it must be true, then.”
Buffy wiped her wet cheeks.
“Don’t take him away…please.”
“It’s not my decision…It’s his. Do the right thing, and he’ll stay. He loves you…I don’t remember seeing someone so much in love before…and a soulless vampire, well, that’s certainly a first !”
Buffy nodded, hope rising again. Things were getting suddenly very clear.
They heard voices downstairs.
“The others are there. We should go.” Halfrek said.
“Ok. Go ahead. I’ll meet you in a sec.”
Halfrek left the room. Buffy went to the bathroom, put some cold water on her face.
Back to business, now.
“Ok, guys…Who wants pizza ?”

They were all sitting around the coffee table, finishing the pizza and discussing the plan for tonight. Or the lack of it.
“ Cecily and I will just sit for some time at the Espresso Pump. Then we’ll leave, hand in hand, and take a stroll on quieter, dark streets. We can only hope he will do something.”
“Did you find which weapon yont tnt to use ?”Halfrek asked Buffy.
“Not really. I have no intentions of killing him, if I can avoid it. Maybe something…really heavy ?”
Xander smiled.
“Ok. Back to the basic and the good old base-ball bat.”
Buffy turned to Tara.
“ You don’t mind staying here with Dawn, do you ?”
“What ?”The teenager exclaimed. “I don’t want to stay here ! I want to come with you !”
“That’s out of the question ! Dawn, we don’t know what that guy has in mind. It could be really dangerous.”
“ But you’ll all be there ! And Spike ! What could possibly happen ?”
“Nibblet…”Spike intervened. “Last time, I couldn’t help you and your sister died.”
There was a short silence.
“Ok.”
Dawn was obviously not convinced but she didn’t add anything. Buffy mouthed a silent thank you to Spike.
“All right then.” Buffy stood up, giving the signal for departure.
“Let’s rock and roll” Spike said with an ironic glance towards Xander, who answered by childishly sticked out his tongue at the vampire.
“Be careful guys” Tara said.

“It’s been an hour. Do you think he’ll show himself ?” Willow asked.
“Wish I knew…I don’t think he’s gonna do anything right now. Probably when they will be alone.”
They were waiting in the entrance of the Sun theatre, just in front.
“Hey, this movie looks good” Willow said, watching the advertising screen caps displayed.
“Wanna come back tomorrow ?”
“Uhuh…”Buffy said absently, watching Spike and Halfrek. Willow noticed the upset look on her friend’s face.
“Do you think she loves him ?” the redhead asked.
“Halfrek ? No…but I do.”
“What ?”
Buffy realized she had said that out loud.
“I…I love Spike.”
“What ?” Willow repeated. “When did that happen ?”
“Will, it’s not the moment…”
“Buffy ! You can’t tell me you’re in love with Spike and then tell me it’s not the moment !”
“Willow, I promise to tell you everything about it…well, that is if there is still something to tell.”
She still had to convinced him to stay…
“Are you happy ?Is it what you want ?”
“Yes. I’m happy and it’s what I want. He’s what I want.”
Halfrek was right. Admitting it felt incredibly good.
“Then it’s fine with me.”
Buffy turned to Willow and hugged her.
“Thank you Will.”
“I’m not going to condemn you. You will need all your strength to face our friend.”
“You mean Simon ? He’ s not…”
“No. I meant Xander.”
“Oh. Right. Well, I never told him anything about marrying his ex-demon, so…I just hope he will be as understanding.”
“You honestly think he will ?”
“Honestly ? No.”

At Revello Drive, the two girls were finishing cleaning the kitchen.
“Are you still mad ?” Tara asked.
“No…I understand Buffy. And what Spike said…I know he’s still hurting about that, not saving Buffy and me from Glory. I just wish I could grow up faster.”
“Well, being a grown up is less easy and cool that you think.”
“I know. I see Buffy struggling with problems everyday, plus she has to take care of me, and she’s only twenty-one. I gave her a hard time…but it’s getting better now.”
Tara smiled softly.
“Yes, she told me you and her had some good times lately…I’m glad everything’s fine between you two.”
“It’s not late” Tara added. “I’m gonna take a shower, then we can watch a movie
together ?”
“I’m in” said Dawn enthusiastically.
Tara went upstairs while Dawn turned the TV on.
She switched the channels, searching for something interesting.
The doorbell rang.
“Are they back already ?” she thought.
“Who is it ?” She asked through the door.
“FedEx, miss. I’ve got a package for Buffy Summers.”
Dawn opened the door.
“Hi. My sister’s not…”
The man in front of her was holding a gun.
“I know she’s not there. But we’re going to see her very soon.”

“I’m ready, Dawnie. Which…”
Tara stopped down the stairs. The front door was open. Dawn was nowhere to be seen.
“Oh my God.”

“Ok. They’re moving. Let’s follow them.”
Buffy made a sign to Xander and Anya who where on the other side of the street. They started to walk casually, holding hands, like two normal lovers.
“You know, that guy, Simon, he doesn’t know us. Do we really have to hide ?”
“He’s been watching Halfrek for some time. Maybe he saw her with us. We can’t take the chance.”
“You’re right. I hadn’t thought about that.”
Spike and Halfrek left Main Street, heading to further streets that Spike knew well along the cemetery. If Simon wanted to make a move, that would be the perfect place.
“You know” Willow whispered, “I just thought…if the guy knows us…then he knows where you live, too.”
Buffy looked at Willow, the implication of what the witch had just said slowly sunk in.

“Halfrek !”
Halfrek and Spike turned around.
“It’s about ti…”Spike started to say, then froze in dread fear. He heard Halfrek gasp.
Simon was there. He was holding Dawn, and against her temple, a gun.
“Simon, please !” Halfrek pleaded. “Don’t do this !”
Buffy, Willow, Xander and Anya came rushing and stopped abruptly when Simon pointed the gun at them.
“I can’t believe this” Xander said. “He tricked us !”
“Don’t hurt her” Buffy asked. How could she have not think about that ? By trying to protect Dawn too much, she had thrown her right into the lion’s den.
Halfrek made a step towards Simon.
“Simon, let her go. She has nothing to do with us…This is between you and me.”
“I know it’s about you and me ! It’s all I think about ! You, you, always you ! Can’t you see how much I love you ?”
In other circumstances, Spike would have felt pity for the guy. He understood completely what he felt. But for the moment that loony was holding his Nibblet with a gun on her head, so he wasn’t too inclined to understanding right now. But the fact that the guy was human prevented him from doing anything.
“I know you love me. And…I thought about us. I t we we need to talk. Seriously.”
“The only thing I want to hear is that you come back to me” Simon said, starting to cry.
“I can’t come back to you as long as you’re holding her.” Halfrek said in a sweet voice.
“Come on, Simon, this isn’t you. Threatening to kill people…acting like this…Where is the man I was so much in love with ?”
At those words, Simon seemed to relax and dropped lightly the gun.
Spike took the chance. He threw himself at the guy, and with only the sake of Dawn in mind, punched him hard before collapsing on the ground with a painful cry.
He had succeeded. Simon was knocked out and Dawn rushed to Xander.
“Spike !” Buffy shouted, kneeling beside him and taking him into her arms.
She saw Dawn was safe with Xander and get her attention back to the vampire.
“Spike ? Are you ok ?”
She could see he was struggling with the excruciating pain.
She nursed his head against her chest, murmuring comfort words.
Halfrek tended to Simon, who was regaining consciousness.
Anya took the gun.
“It’s not loaded” She said.
Buffy gave Simon a murderous look.
“What ? You mean Spike suffered hell for nothing ?”
Dawn kneeled on the other side, taking the vampire’s hand.
“It wasn’t for nothing. He did it to save me.”
Spike opened his eyes, tried to smile to her despite the pain.
“I did save you, huh, lil’bit ? I didn’t fail you this time.”
“No, you didn’t” said the teenager, hugging him and kissing him on the cheek.
Buffy caressed his face.
“Are you going to be ok ? You’d better be. How could you do this ? It could have killed
you !”
“Well…Dawn’s more important…and it was bloody worth it,” he said, nesting her head between her breasts.
“What is happening here ?”asked Xander, suddenly realizing Buffy’s attitude towards Spike.
“Later, Xander.” Willow told him with a warning glance.
Spike slowly stood up, grimacing.
“I’ll be ok. I just need about a thousands aspirins.”
“Well, we have a gun” Anya said. “We can rob a pharmacy.”
Tara arrived at that moment, breathless.
“Buffy ! Dawn ! Oh my God, you’re ok. Buffy, I’m sorry. I don’t know…”
“Don’t worry, Tara, we’re all fine. There’s not much you could have done anyway.”
They all headed back to the center of town.
“I’m really sorry” Simon said. “I…I lost my mind. I wanted Halfrek back so much…”
“Threatening to kill people is not really the best way to win your girlfriend back, you know”
Willow advised him.
“It worked with Dru, sometimes” muttered Spike under his breath.
He met Buffy’s look and smirked.
“I understand that now” the other guy said. He turned to Buffy.
“I can’t apologise enough…Do you think you’ll be able to forgive me ?”
“Let’s see…you tried to kill my friend and threatened to do so with my sister. So I think…No.”
Simon frowned.
“ Your friend ? I didn’t try to kill your friend.”
“ Stop lying!” Halfrek said, angry. “ You blew up Spike’s crypt !”
“Me ? I did not ! I swear I didn’t do it !”
And the look on his face was really surprised.
They all looked at each other.
“Then…”
“Oh, that’s bloody brilliant !” Spike exclaimed. That means there’s another bleedin’ lunatic out there who wants to kill me.”
“ That, or you let the gas open” Xander said.
“Xander !”

Back at the Summers’ home, everyone was a little bit exhausted by the events. Dawn, Tara and Willow immediately went upstairs.
“What do you want to do, Halfrek ?”Anya asked.
The demon girl looked at her ex-fiancé.
“I’ll stay with Simon. I think we have to talk.”
“Ok, then, everyone…Goodnight” Xander said. “Buffy…I think I will need some explanations about something…” he added with a pointed look to Spike.
“Oh, Come on, Xander” Anya exclaimed. “Explanations about what ? Buffy and Spike having sex together ? Let’s go home and I’ll explain to you what sex is.”
She took him by the end and pulled him behind her.
“Bye guys !” she said, waving her hand.
Halfrek smiled to Spike and Buffy.
“I can’t thank you enough for what you did.”
Buffy made a dismiss gesture.
“Nah…It’s nothing.” She turned to Simon. “You’d better listen to her. She has wise advice” she said, sharing a knowing smile with Halfrek.
“I’m so sorry” repeated Simon for the hundred times.
“Yeah, stop with that, mate. We got the message, and you’re getting annoying” Spike said.
“Ok…Sor…I mean, good-bye. Halfrek, I’ll wait for you outside.”
Once he was out, Spike asked incredulously:
“Are you sure you want to give a second chance to that wanker ?”
“I’m not sure yet…I’ll talk to him. See if he truly regrets it.”
“I think I heard him say he’s sorry.” Buffy said, smiling.
“Well…I can say thank you again but then I’ll get as annoying as him, so…”
“Come back anytime” Buffy said, hugging her. “And thank you” she added for her ears only.
Halfrek turned to Spike.
“Bye, William. Take care of you.”
“Bye Cecily. It was good to see you again.”
She left. Buffy closed the door.
“Well…another entertaining evening in Sunnydale.”
Spike smiled.
“I’ll go check on Dawn.”
“Ok. I think I deserve a gooowerower.”
They went upstairs, Spike opened Dawn’s door.
“Nibblet ? Are you sleeping ?”
“No…you can come in, Spike.”
He let the door open, sat on her bed.
“How are you feeling ?”
“I should ask you. You were the one with the big migraine.”
“Oh, it’s almost over.”
“You saved my life” she said softly, taking his hand.
He shrugged, hiding his embarrassment.
“Not really…his gun was not loaded.”
“But you didn’t know that. So for me it’s the same.”
Moved, he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it.
“I love you” she said in a sleepy voice.
“I love you too, little bit. I’ll always be there for you. Always.”
“I know. Will you sing me something ?”
Spike chuckled.
“What ?”
“Buffy told me once you had a great voice. Do you mind singing me something ?”
“I don’t know anything from those wankers you like…N’Sync or something…”
She laughed.
“That’s ok…Sing something you like…”
“Ok.”
He started to sing softly, not knowing Buffy was at the door, listening.

In the darkness…I can see your light…And you will always shine, and I can feel you heart in mine…Your face I’ve memorized, I idolised just you…

She slowly approached him, placing her hand gently on the back of his neck. When he was done, she smiled to him, tears in her eyes.
“This song is beautiful…You should really think to go onstage.” She said, half-kidding only.
“Right…Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome Spike and the Sunshine Band…No, wait…Spike Bon Jovi…AeroSpike…”
“Linkin Spike” she said, laughing.
“You guys are incredibly silly” said a voice coming from under the cover.
“Oops…we are disturbing the little sis…Goodnight, Dawn.”
“ ‘Night.”
Buffy closed the door.
She turned to him.
“The bathroom is free, if you want to…”
The minute after, she was in his arms and they were kissing passionately. He lifted her and bring her in her room, closed the door with his foot without breaking the kiss.
He gently placed her on the bed, took out his shirt.
She caressed her toned muscles.
“You won’t leave me ? Promise me you won’t.”
He kissed her, very tenderly this time.
“I promise.”
She sighed.
“I love you Spike. I’m sorry I’ve been so blind and stupid…”
He untied her bathrobe, pulling the sides apart, discovering her naked body.
“My God, Buffy…I love you so much…I missed you…” he whispered, wandering his mouth on her breasts.
“ Me or what I do to you ?” she asked with a seductive smile, directing her hand to his belt.
“Both…but mostly you”
He gave her another deep kiss that caught her breath. Soon they were both totally naked.
Once again, Spike was doing magic with his fingers. And Buffy’s rising moans of pleasure were his biggest rewards.
“Spike…please…I want you inside me…now”
Without further delay, he positioned himself and entered her with excruciating slowness.
When he started to move, she naturally caught his rhythm, concluding the dance they had initiated so many years ago.


Epilogue

A week later, they were all at the Bronze, including Dawn and her friends.
Xander was not very happy at first about the turns of events between Buffy and Spike, but he could see how much Buffy was happy, like she hadn’t been in a very long time.
For the moment she was comfortably resting between Spike’s strong arms, enjoying an evening with her friends.
A moment later, Spike disentangled from her.
“There’s something I have to do. I’ll be back.”
He kissed her and left. Intrigued, she wondered what he had in mind.
The light suddenly dimmed and a spot was directed on the stage. One of the owner appeared.
“Hello everyone…tonight we will have a special and unique performance…please enjoy.”
He left and Spike appeared. He tested the micro and waited for the music to start.
Willow leaned to Buffy.
“Did you know about this ?”
“No…”Buffy said, amazed.
Spike started to sing, and Buffy recognize the song he had sang to Dawn before.

In the Darkness….I can see your light…and you will always shine, and I can feel your heart in mine…your face I’ve memorized, I idolized just you…
I look up to everything you are…In my eyes you’ll do no wrong…I’ve loved you for so long, and after all was said and done…You’re still you…after all…You’re still you…
You walk past me…I can feel your pain…Time changes everything, one truth always stays the same…You’re still you…after all… you’re still you…

“That’s incredibly cheesy” Xander said.
“Shut up, Xan It’ It’s not cheesy. It’s romantic. You never sang to me like that.”
“Yes I did. We both did. About skeezy cheeses and hairy toes, remember ? That was so scary I vowed never to song a single word anymore. Ever.”
Buffy didn’t hear them, she was totally lost in Spike’s song.

And in this cruel and lonely world…I find one love…You’re still you…after all…you’re still you…

Everybody cheered him and applauded when he was done. He just said “Thank you” and left the stage, going back to the Scoobies.
Buffy welcomed him with stars in her eyes.
“I can’t believe you did this” she said with wonder.
“You’re worth it. And it was your idea, me on stage.”
“A pretty good idea.”
“Great performance, ‘young man’ !” Xander said, but he was sincere.
Spike took Buffy against him. She smiled to him.
“When everybody applauded…You blushed.”
He made an offended look.
“I told you already…I’m evil ! Evil don’t blush.”
“Well, you’re the kind of evil that does.”
She kissed him deeply, attracting look of envy from other girls, especially Dawn’s friends.
“ Your fan-club is watching us” she told him.
He smirked.
“Do you think they want an autograph ?”
“They certainly want much more from you than that.”
“Well, all the rest is reserved for you, luv.”
She rested her head on her shoulder.
“ That was really romantic. And way better than ‘Let me rest in peace’”
“Which was a vain plea anyway.”
He kissed her on the most sensitive spot on her neck. She shivered.
“What about you and I go home, now ?” he whispered with a voice full of promises.
“I hope you have bad intentions only…”
He made a devilish grin.
“You know me, baby…I’ve always been bad..”

FIN – THE END