Dreams

Chapter 3

About six months later.

Buffy backed through the Hyperion doors, dragging her bags.

Cordelia watched in some amusement, before speaking.

“What gives with the dragging? It’s not like you’re a wimp.”

Buffy smiled at the voice before turning around and putting a hand onto her swollen stomach. She laughed out loud at Cordy’s face. Cordy just sat there with her mouth open.

Buffy was pregnant.

“Ok. You know when I called you. You could have said something.” Cordelia managed to get it out. What is it with people or vampire’s I know having babies? She shook the thought away and went to help Buffy with her bags.

“Where is he? And why did you call?” Buffy asked curiously.

“Look I don’t know what's going on, ok? Mainly because no one will tell me anything, but Spike is really suffering. He arrived here about six months ago, tore through the doors, fell to his knee’s, offered his blood to Angel in what I can only assume is some freaky vampire thing, and BEGGED for help.” Cordy sighed at the memories.

“Angel won’t tell me what happened; Spike doesn’t talk to anyone but Angel. But hey you know, vampire brooding? I knew you’d be somewhere in the mix. Anyway why are you pregnant? I mean who’s the daddy? Do I know him? Is he hot?” Cordy finished off with a smile.

“Its Spike’s baby, don’t ask. Vampire’s can’t have babies, yadda, yadda, yadda.....”

Cordy interrupted Buffy.

“Have you spoken to Angel recently?” When Buffy shook her head in answer, Cordy sighed. “You’d better sit down for this one.”

******

Buffy was speechless, Angel was having a baby. With Darla. Another Vampire. She looked at Cordy’s worried face and couldn’t help the giggle that escaped. As Cordy's face became more concerned, the giggle had erupted into full blown, hysterical laughter.

“I’m fine Cordy, I’m not going loopy, but you have to admit it’s kind of funny. The powers have a really weird sense of humour.” The laughter subsided and Buffy noticed the sad look on Cordelia’s face. Suddenly the penny dropped.

“Have you told him?” Buffy asked the girl sitting next to her.

“Told who what?” Cordelia plastered a fake smile on her face.

“Angel. That you love him?” Buffy asked again softly.

“Please. Love him?” Cordy saw the look on Buffy’s face and felt tears well in her eyes.

“No. He’s oblivious, I could whack him with a sign and I still don’t think he’d get it.” Cordy let out a sigh of relief, she didn’t really have anyone she could talk to about it. But it definitely felt weird talking to Buffy about Angel.

Buffy noticed Cordelia’s discomfort and guessed the source.

“We’re different people now, I still love him, and I always will I suppose, but not in the way you think. Besides, I’m knocked up by his stupid grandchild, the fucker left me and I think that I love him.” This time it was Buffy’s eye’s that filled with tears.

“Well then, we’d better go see him.” Cordy got up from the couch and straightened her clothes.

“He’s at this bar with Angel, he spends a lot of time there, your going to love it....”

********

Buffy entered the bar, Caritas. As she made her way down the stairs her slayer senses began to scream. The place was full of demons. Her mind and body were screaming for her to protect herself and to kill everything in the room.

She took a deep breath to steady herself, and wondered vaguely if this is what homicidal maniacs felt like. She was going to have to trust Cordelia’s judgment on this.

And then she felt him. At the same time some music started up and his soft voice filled the room.

It's Been Awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you

Buffy made her way around the bar so that she could see him.

And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again.
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you.

His soft voice sent chills through her body.

And everything I can remember
Is fucked up as it always seemed
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

As she listened to the words of the song he had chosen, tears welled in her eye’s and her head began to spin. She pulled out a chair nearest to her and sat down.

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

As Buffy watched Spike sing she saw tears pouring down his face.

And everything I can remember
Is fucked up as it always seemed
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must I feel this way
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day

Buffy was so entranced with Spike singing that she didn’t notice a green demon with horns, and a very well tailored suit pull out a chair at sit beside her. Neither did she notice Angel staring at her while Cordy talked to him.

It’s been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

Buffy watched Spike’s face twist into what looked like torment.

And everything I can't remember
Is fucked up as it always seemed to be, I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

By the end of the song Buffy was openly sobbing. She didn’t know exactly why, but she knew Spike was hurting and it broke her heart.

“Thank God you’re here, he needs you..” A voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned to face the green demon that had spoken. Tears were streaming down the demons face as well.

“I’m sorry I have to go see....” She trailed of and stood up as she tried to make her way through the packed bar, a demon bumped into her roughly. Buffy found her balance but the demon looked as if he wanted to do some serious harm to her. Her first instinct was to protect her child.

*******

Spike had felt her enter the bar, but wasn’t sure if it was real or just another dream. What was it this time? Forgiveness or staking. His mind had come up with so many scenario's it was hard to keep track. As his song had finished and he was left feeling empty again he raised his eye’s to find her. Let the judgment come.

All he could see was her back. All he could see was a huge demon towering over her.
Before his mind caught up with his body, Spike had launched himself off the stage towards the demon that was going to hurt the one person he would never allow anyone to hurt again.

The crowd was utterly stunned as the vampire left the stage in a blur of speed and had his hands around the demons head in an instant. He twisted sharply and felt the neck break under his hands. As he dropped the dead demon he came eye to eye with Buffy.

Spike fell to his knee’s, cradled his head in his hands trying to block out the memories of what he had done.

Buffy watched in horror, she lowered herself to her knee’s in front of the weeping Vampire and reached out to take his hand. She was grateful that he was pliant. She kissed his palm and reached out one of her own hands to gently stroke his face..

“Spike? I don’t know what happened, Spike. Please look at me. Spike please.” Buffy was sobbing by this stage.

She heard vague snatches of conversation around her.

“.... How? ... No violence spell?”
“... Raw emotion....”
“.... Baby? I thought vampires couldn’t reproduce...”

Cordelia decided that enough was enough.
“Angel go get Spike, I’ll get Buffy, I think we need to get them out of here.” Cordy was already moving, not waiting for an answer. She gently put her arms under Buffy and pulled her to her feet.

“Come on Honey, we’re going to get you back to the hotel.” As she noticed Buffy trying to twist around looking for Spike, Cordy soothed her.

“It’s ok, Angel’s got him.”

Back at the hotel Buffy was settled on a couch with Spike laying on it, his head cradled in her lap. She looked up at Angel and spoke.

“What happened?” Buffy spoke softly

“I don’t know, he turned up here, offered himself to Sire’s mercy, which is no small thing. All he would say is that he hurt you. But by the looks of things you don’t seem hurt Buffy. You seem very pregnant. So that leads to the question, why are you so worried about Spike and why is his head in your lap?” Angel hadn’t meant for it to come out like that but by the end of the sentence he was shouting.

Buffy closed her eyes and when she opened them again she saw the heavily pregnant Darla making her way down the stairs.

“Ah yes, Mr. Judgmental. I see that your pregnant vampire girlfriend has returned, so sorry, I think you just fell off your high horse.” Buffy turned her face back to Spike and ran her fingertips across his face.

“Spike, what happened? Why did you leave?” Try as she might she couldn’t conceal the hurt in her voice.

“I... I hurt you. I.....raped you.” Spike’s voice was tiny as tears rolled down his face again. He curled away from Buffy.

“He WHAT.....” Angel nearly screamed. He surged towards the blonde intent on violence.

Buffy met the dark haired vampire half way with an uppercut; her fist caught him beneath the chin and sent him sprawling backwards. She may well be pregnant, but she was still the slayer and she was still stronger than Angel.

“Don’t touch him; you don’t know what's going on here so stay out of it.” She steeled her heart to the Vampire who was sprawled across the floor with nothing but hurt in his eyes.

She turned back to the couch where Spike lay, his back was still to the room.

“What makes you think that you raped me?” Buffy asked gently. Was it this that had him so broken?

“All the times I woke up, not knowing where I’d been and you’d told me you’d been attacked by a demon. It was me wasn’t it? I woke the last time I saw you and you were unconscious, blood dripping down your throat, naked with me buried to the hilt inside you. All those times you’d been hurt, it was me. I’d hurt you.” Spike curled up tighter and hoped for a quick staking.

“Spike, it was a spell, well not quite. More of a possession. There were these couple of demons or Gods or whatever; they needed us to have a baby for them. Neither of us should have remembered it, but I did. She told me it was because I’d had something or some time erased from my life before, so she couldn’t do it again.” Buffy smiled a small smile at the tiny glimmer of hope that she thought she saw run through Spike’s body.

“It wasn’t your fault Spike, I was going to tell you the truth on that last night but everything happened so quickly and then you were gone. The only reason I knew you were here is because Cordy called me.”

“What? Oh don’t give me that look. He needed help, more than you could give him.” Cordy brushed off any objections that Angel might have had.

Spike turned on the couch and came face to face with a kneeling slayer in front of him.

“Those people.... They took our baby?” Spike didn’t care if he sounded ridiculous. He loved this tiny blonde girl in front of him, they’d made love and he hadn’t known, he was damned if he was going to let someone take away a child that was theirs as well. Spike looked puzzled at the slayer in front of him as she lowered her head and her shoulders shoulders starting shaking. Oh God, she was crying. He frowned again and she raised her head, she was laughing? Why was she laughing?

“Spike have you looked at me?” Buffy stood up and turned sideways so Spike could get a look at her in profile.

Spike’s mouth fell open. She was pregnant! Buffy was pregnant with his baby.

“How?” Was all he could out.

“They offered me a gift and I accepted it.” Buffy smiled as Spike pulled her to him and hugged her fiercely.