Who is Who ((COMPLETED))

Chapter 3, Night at the Office

Shortly after Spike arrived at work, Giles rushed in the Internet Café to drop off information on their first case, A Gobalock Demon. He was in a hurry to attend another meeting but said they could do some additional research later. Just let him know when.

Later at his flat, Spike read over the brief file. At the bottom he found a handwritten note from Giles. “Dawn emailed me yesterday. Among other things, she asked if I had heard any more news about you. I did not tell her anything, leaving everything very vague. I left you Dawn’s email address below. I thought you would rather tell her yourself. P.S. Buffy does not look at the email. Only Dawn.”

Spike stared at the address thinking, “Well, Watcher, you might be vague but not subtle.”

The next evening, Spike arrived at work with renewed determination to stay away from anything or anyone connected to Sunnyhell. Giles, of course, being the exception. He was a fellow escapee. But as the night progressed, he found himself watching how the customers used the internet. Towards the end of his shift, he couldn’t stand it any longer and asked one of the regulars to help him set up an account using an alias online name just in case Buffy happened to see.

“That was rather easy,” Spike thought, but he procrastinated 20 more minutes before actually sending his first email to Dawn.

Dawn heard her email ding and went over to see what Janice had to say.
Carpe.Noctorum: Cute name but don’t you mean trapped in SH instead of SD?
Trapped.in.SD: SH? Who is this? Janice?
Carpe.Noctorum: Definitely not Janice. And yes, definitely SH, not SD. Should be Sunnyhell.
Trapped.in.SD: Funny much? And Carpe Noctorum? You want to be a fish?
Carpe.Noctorum: Latin. Look it up.
Trapped.in.SD: Ok, mysterious, who ever you are? None of my friends are taking Latin. Come on. Give.
Carpe.Noctorum: I’m a successful escapee from Sunnyhell, Nibblet.
Trapped.in.SD: Spike? Is that you?
Carpe.Noctorum: Giles gave me your email address. The Watcher thought you might want to chat.
Trapped.in.SD: I am going to kill Giles the next time I see him. He didn’t say a thing.
Carpe.Noctorum: Don’t blame Giles. We just ran into each other recently. But let’s keep this between us, OK, Bit Size?
Trapped.in.SD: Sure. I don’t want Buffy to take my computer away. But I need to know something first. Is it true? Xander said you tried to rape Buffy. Buffy says no but will not talk. What’s new, right?
Carpe.Noctorum: Direct as ever, Platelet. Maybe that is the best approach –not talking about it. Besides, Buffy should be the one to explain. You are too young for this anyway.
Trapped.in.SD: I am older than you technically, mister. Pleeeese. Pretty please!! Begging here.
The next response did not come until the next day.
Carpe.Noctorum: I hate to disappoint Xander, but I didn’t but it came too close. No means no – no matter how anyone feels or what has happened between them in the past.
Trapped.in.SD: I don’t understand. Help.
Carpe.Noctorum: “Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good.” William O’Rourke
Trapped.in.SD: Cryptic much?
Carpe.Noctorum: These are my final words on this subject. Know this, Lil Bit. A minute does not pass each night that I don’t regret what happened. I told myself at first that it was all the chip’s fault. Next that it was her fault. Then that she had always said no then came to me anyway. But ultimately, no does mean no.
Trapped.in.SD: I think I get it. Thanks. As usual, you are the only one who talks to me like an adult. Spike, I miss you. When are you coming home?
Again, the response was slow in coming.
Carpe.Noctorum: Bite Size, I am home. I was born, raised and reborn here in London. I had stayed away long enough. Besides, I’m the Slayer of Slayers. Do you want to get rid of your sister so badly? Taking sibling rivalries a bit far, isn’t it?
Trapped.in.SD: So not impressed. Lie much? You would never kill her. I know that. Xander, however, can be an idiot: weddings, vampires, whatever.
Carpe.Noctorum: Maybe I should do you in, instead.
Trapped.in.SD: Shaking here.
Carpe.Noctorum: Nibblet, it is better this way. Leave it alone. I enjoy these chats but the Buffy subject is now officially off limits.
Trapped.in.SD: Is this the better or easier way?
Carpe.Noctorum: Cheeky brat!
Trapped.in.SD: OK, did I tell you that I hate summer school?
With the ease of the Internet, their friendship was re-established. Dawn told him about summer school. Spike told her about his new partnership with Giles. The rest of the conversation flowed as easily as it always had between them. Amazing such an unlikely alliance could have even formed in the first place and yet be so warm.
Carpe.Noctorum: Gotta go, luv. It’s my first night on the new job. Wouldn’t want to disappoint the Watcher.

********

“OK, this should be like taking candy from babes,” Spike said to himself, smiling confidently. The ebb and flow of the human traffic moved around him, including him but not. Standing at the entrance to the tube station, he felt energized by what he use to call happy meals on legs. Only now he knew it was from the current of life passing so closely by. The heart beats combined mostly the anticipation of tonight’s adventure, making him feel better than he had in weeks. ‘A spot of violence, just what this dead body needs.’

Then, just as Giles had said, the demon walked by headed on his way into the subway station. No one else took note of his passing. To a human he looked like a diminutive, middle aged man, slightly balding with glasses perched on his nose. However, not to Spike. If a vamp looked just right, he saw the true demon with blue mottled skin and dark gray, glassy eyes. “Great, my first assignment and I draw Papa Smurf. All he needs is the white hair.”

He followed at what he considered a discrete distance, pondering the possibilities of avoiding excessive laundry later. ‘Gah, I hope he doesn’t drool..’ When they are both on the subway train Spike walks up behind the demon letting the demon feel his presence. ‘Let’s kick off with a bit of intimidation.’ The demon sniffed the air and became very still. ‘Yeah, that’s right. The big bad is here, mate.’ Spike rolled his neck and stretched out the best he could in the slightly crowded subway in anticipation of the fun.

When they came to the first station, Spike watched the demon for any signs of exiting, but the demon just relaxed more, shifting his weight back to get more comfortable … then darted off the train as the doors started to close. “Bloody Hell!” is all the vampire has time to say as the doors close on him trapping him momentarily. “OPEN the sodding doors, already!”

Spike sprinted after the fleeing demon. He finally chased and cornered him in an empty access tunnel. “When did you become Saber Tooth Smurf?” was Spike’s only thought before he was grabbed by small yet powerful hands and felt very elongateninenines plunge into his shoulder. “What the hell? I am the one suppose to do the biting, so get the f--- off.” Spike threw the demon against the tunnel wall leaving a blue slime mark on the tiles. Spike felt a rush of blood pouring out of his new wound. Mad now, the vampire threw a quick right and whiff—catching only air. Unfortunately, Spike then felt a blow to his kidneys which he left unprotected. As he was picking himself off the floor, Spike picked up a nearby pipe and began to beat the demon to a stand still, drool flinging everywhere. As his attack continued, the hits were punctuated by the words, “I…Will…Be…Pissing …Blood…For…A…Week!” Finally knocking the demon to the floor, “I am supposed to drink blood, not lose it, you nit!”

Finally, Spike was able to wrap his legs around the small bugger to hold him still and expertly snaped his neck. “Why do these blokes always have to be so slimey?” As Spike walked away, he slung blue drool off him the best he cou Pau Pausing, “Ha Ha, I get it, Watcher. Laughs on old Spike, innit? Fine, let Giles do the laundry.”

Giles opened the door to heavy knocking. “Spike, come in. How did … Bloody hell. My carpet!” looking at Spike dripping blue goo all over his favorite Persian rug. “Since you were so sharing with the information on my target, I thought I would share the drool with you.”

Giles tried to suppress a laugh but couldn’t help him self. Even the Big Bad Vampire’s hair was even a lovely shade of blue. When he was able to speak coherently again, “I suggested we research further.”

While Spike took a shower, Giles got out the book he was looking for. Spike found it lying open to the page title, Gobalock Demon, with a complete description of the demon he just fought. “OK, I get it. We hit the books next time first before I have to take on another psycho blueberry from hell.”

*******
The Gobalock Demon, however, made grand material for an email to Dawn. Dawn laughed so loudly that the unexpected sound of merriment caught Willow’s attention down the hall. Willow poked her head in Dawn’s room, “You ok, Dawnie?” Dawn’s head jerked up in surprise. “Fine. Uh, just fine.” Dawn quickly turned back to her computer as soon as Willow headed downstairs.
Trapped.in.SD: Spike, are you still there? Willow just poked her head in. Do you want me to ask her if we could send you some blueberry muffins?
Carpe.Noctorum: Funny. I had a feeling I shouldn’t have told you, brat.
Trapped.in.SD: Or maybe I could ask Anya to make you some pancakes – blueberry of course. You could even get blueberry syrup.
Carpe.Noctorum: Don’t you have some homework to do?
Trapped.in.SD: Yeh, but you are much more fun to tease, blue boy.
Carpe.Noctorum: Time to change the subject. How is Willow doing? Giles told me some, but I am sure not all.
Trapped.in.SD: She is doing better. Little better each day now. She was like, you know, comatose the first two weeks but slowly showing signs of life. Now to help keep her mind off Tara, Willow is doing some help at the research lab at the university. Chemistry or something. Not to mention, helping Buffy with the bills.
Carpe.Noctorum: I hate like hell what happened to Tara. Always had a soft spot for that witch and respect for how she handled herself. She was open minded, not judgmental . Human or not, Warren go what he deserved. For Tara, I would have gladly done it but worse. Something slower, maybe. I’m sure your big sis doesn’t agree, but I would have to side with Willow on this. Having a soul does not always equal good actions.
Trapped.in.SD: Buffy was pissed! But Xander and I were both glad to see Warren pay.
Carpe.Noctorum: Something must be wrong with me if I’m agreeing with the whelp. Feel free to NOT tell me how that pansy wedding ditcher is doing.
Trapped.in.SD: I’ll be sure to teandeander you miss him ;-) On a brighter note, I got to patrol last Friday and Saturday nights with Buffy. It was great!! Of course, Buffy got two vamps and one demon, but I even staked a vamp. You should have been there!
Carpe.Noctorum: Nibblet, are you training with the Slayer? You didn’t mention that before. Please don’t tell me you are using weapons. Maybe I should put out a general warning.
Trapped.in.SD: Worry much? Oh, Oh! I won $3 off Buffy and Clem in poker. He was only pissed at first when we made him play for money instead of kittens. Of course, he did have to sell your TV for the cash.
Carpe.Noctorum: What?!
Trapped.in.SD: Gotcha!! Clem loves TV almost as much as you do. So your TV is still safe. Anyway, I did really win the money.
Carpe.Noctorum: Proud of you, card shark. Where was this game, and did you get caught cheating?
Trapped.in.SD: No getting caught, thanks to you, Teach. The ‘where’ was your crypt, duh! ‘When’ - Buffy and I usually stop by after patrol to visit. When we have time, we play a game or watch TV. Since he likes food so much, we gave him our old camping stove. His cooking is getting better. But at first – Yuk!! Still better than the Doublemeat Palace, though.
Carpe.Noctorum: Maybe Clem has a future in the culinary arts.
Trapped.in.SD: Ok, I can just picture you looking at the screen with that little head tilt. Why were we visiting a demon? That is really what you wanted to know, wasn’t it? Clem gets lonely and is so sweet, but mostly to see if he had heard from you, you jerk. Anyway, back to bragging, it is easy to cheat playing Buffy in your crypt. She sometimes just zones out while there. In fact, one time she left her cards on the table to go look downstairs. When she came back up, she looked so weirded out that Clem asked her if she was ok. She said something lame about it use to be quite posh down there. What does “posh” mean?
Carpe.Noctorum: Now who is obvious, mini-matchmaker? Leave off. And do I look like a bloody dictionary? Look it up when you look up the Latin, meddlesome brat Got to get some sleep since it is day here. Talk to you tomorrow.

But shutting his mind and memories off was not as easily accomplished as signing off of email. With so much food for thought provided by a precocious imp, sleep was a long time in coming.

*****
As
As the vampire was tying to fall asleep in London, the Slayer was out on patrol in Sunnydale. Since it was a rather slow night, Buffy was spending more time thinking than hunting, and Dawn as her current worry. Her sister had been quiet and moody for the last couple of weeks. Quieter and moodier for a teenager, that is. It was all understandable with everything that had happened last month with Willow. But in typical Dawn fashion, her little sis had just gone into Willow’s bedroom, plopped down on the bed and started talking. Buffy wasn’t quite sure what was said, but it didn’t involve whining and the tension had eased up considerably. Willow and Dawn were fast mending their once strong relationship.

However, Buffy had noticed new, odd behavior when she had walked into her sister’s room unexpectedly last night. Dawn jumped at the sound of her voice and quickly turned off her computer monitor. As Buffy later left, she heard the monitor instantly come back on and typing resume. The next morning, she noticed that the room had been rearranged so that the monitor was no longer visible from the door.

Weirdest of all, Dawn had not bugged her to go on patrol for the last two nights, preferring her computer. She did seem to be happier than before, but Buffy did not think it was due to summer school homework finished on the computer. Maybe a new boyfriend. Regardless, it was capital “W” kind of weirdness, even for Summers women.

Deep in thought, Buffy wasn’t surprised to find herself outside Spike’s old/Clem’s new crypt. The Post-Epiphany Buffy had come to accept that Subconscious Buffy was bringing her to where she usually found a willing ear and helpful if not sometimes painful advice. She had taken it for granted for so long, but now Spike was gone. The demon grapevine said he was dead, but she still held onto a little hope. That big a pain in the ass was too hard to kill. She should know.

Maybe Clem would have some news tonight. It couldn’t hurt to check, but Clem did not answer her knock. Must be out of buffalo wings.

Buffy sat down leaning her back on the door. Not that she would have admitted it to anyone, but she very badly wanted to barge in like old times and be met with a pithy remark made in a very sexy British accent. Buffy could feel goose bumps raise on her arm just thinking about that voice, but the Slayer quickly rubbed them away and frowned. Didn’t he know she needed his help with Dawn? Actually, just talking to him would be nice. As if the familiar crypt door she was leaning on opened the portals to her mind, Subconscious Buffy took over and soon had her lost in memories, taking her on a mental tour of the crypt

First she saw him thrown by an invisible force against the wall by the door. Spike had quickly recognized Invisible Buffy as she started to work her way down his neck and chest. Amazing how taste buds could recall so much detail, and he had tasted so delicious.

Next, the scene changed to a dark crypt with only a lantern perched between Spike and Dawn who were sitting facing each other on a sarcophagus. Both were so engrossed in the story he was telling that they jumped when Buffy had entered unexpectedly. The cohorts had looked so cute that night, caught in the act.

The tour stopped briefly at the outdated TV. Buffy could see her mom and Spike happily discussing the current happenings on their favorite soap, Passions.

The next room on the tour was the one she looked forward to but also dreaded. First, Subconscious Buffy climbed down the ladder and was standing next to an oblivious Xander talking to Spike. She laughed as the vampire’s ear wiggled knowing Invisible Buffy was there teasing her secret lover through out the conversation. What had she been thinking? But being so open had been thrilling even if Xander had not known she was even there.

Then the two figures dissolved leaving Buffy looking at the carpets covering the stone floor. Buffy would never look at an oriental rug the same again. She could still hear his voice as they lay sated underneath, “Do you even like me?” She had known then that it was such an important question , but scared of Her Own Emotions Buffy had replied, “Sometimes.” Major league cop out!! Maybe Denial Buffy would be more accurate.

Then BOOM, the room exploded in her mind’s eye filling her nose with the smell of smoke. By blowing to hell the hatching demons, Buffy knew she had done the right thing. But Honest Buffy with 20-20 hindsight, she couldn’t shake the feeling that with those hand grenades, she had not only solved the egg problem but found an easy out from the moral dilemma that was Spike. She had blown up instead of burning her bridges but with the same results.

Lonely But Determined to Improve Buffy brushed off her pants, shook off her memories, and started for home. Trying for optimism, maybe Clem would know something tomorrow night. It couldn’t hurt to check, could it?

******

Irony so often kept a playful hand in fate, reveling in such unlikely harmonies. Both the vampire and the slayer would have been astounded that their thoughts ran so closely parallel. The Key, however, would have been overjoyed by the coincidence if she had known. Maybe fate did need a little help from irony after all.


TBC